The Choosing (15 page)

Jerath bites his lip as Meren pushes the furs aside and moves down his body. He feels the sharp sting of Meren’s teeth as they nip at the taut skin of Jerath’s hip, followed by the wet heat of his tongue as he licks over the mark afterward. Jerath writhes under Meren’s touch. It’s too much and not enough all at the same time, and he moans loudly when Meren’s warm breath washes over his cock.

Jerath has only ever done this once, with Serim, and then he was half out of his mind with sex berries. He wants to feel Meren’s mouth on him so badly and he pushes his hips up, needing more.

Meren laughs softly at Jerath’s frustrated sigh. “Are you always this impatient?” His tongue dips agonizingly close to the head of Jerath’s cock, and Jerath answers without thinking.

“It’s just… I’ve never done this… with a man.”

Meren tenses and looks up at him with a curious expression. Jerath shifts his hips and tries to coax Meren’s head back down, but Meren shuffles back up the bed until he’s lying alongside Jerath again. Jerath stares at the top of the tent and wishes he’d kept his mouth shut.

“Jerath?” Meren takes hold of Jerath’s chin and forces his head up so their eyes meet. “I don’t understand. I thought you preferred men?”

“I do, but….” Jerath sighs again and closes his eyes. “But my village is not as accepting as yours and there’s not a lot of options open for someone like me. The opportunities for any type of sex are limited.” Meren’s hand returns to its place on Jerath’s stomach and strokes soothing circles over his skin. “I haven’t done much more than kissing… and hands. Apart from with Serim, during my Choosing.

Jerath wonders if he’s said too much, if Meren will be put off by his inexperience, and he feels his earlier confidence fading fast.

“Hey.” Meren leans in and kisses him. He licks into Jerath’s mouth, and it’s wet and dirty and not at all what Jerath was expecting. “I’m going to show you what it’s like with a man, Jerath.” He kisses along Jerath’s jaw and down across his throat. “I’m going to show you everything.”

Jerath cries out when Meren’s lips finally wrap around his cock. His fingers fist in the furs beneath them, and Meren sucks him deep into his throat over and over and it feels so good. Meren’s tongue slides up the underside of Jerath’s length. He laps at the precome leaking out at the tip and Jerath whimpers, his hips lifting clear off the bed.

Jerath’s orgasm starts to build low in his belly. It curls up and around his spine and as Meren takes him deep into his throat again, Jerath is vaguely aware of his claws extending. The ripple of power flows through him as his jaguar stirs just below the surface. When Meren swallows around him, Jerath sinks his claws into the fur and growls out his release.

Jerath’s heavy breathing fills the air around them and he lies back on the furs and grins. He can’t help it, and when Meren finishes licking him clean he crawls back up Jerath’s body, looking rather smug.

“Fuck.” Jerath pulls Meren in for a kiss. He can taste himself in Meren’s mouth, and it makes him feel dirty in the best of ways. He chases the flavor with his tongue and Meren moans, rutting against Jerath’s hip and smearing wetness over the skin there. Meren is hard and Jerath wants to touch him, to feel the weight of him in his hand.

“Can I?” Jerath asks. He starts to slide a hand between them but Meren grabs his wrist.

The sting of rejection hits him hard and Jerath starts to pull away, but Meren just smiles and shakes his head.

“No, Jerath. It’s not that I don’t want you to, but look….” He lifts Jerath’s hand and shows him his fingers—with all five claws still extended and glinting sharply in the dark. “I’d just rather you got rid of these first.”

Jerath immediately licks over his teeth to check for elongated fangs, but they’re smooth and normal sized. He doubts Meren would’ve kissed him so hard if they’d still been there. He looks at his hands, unsure as to why his claws are still out. He concentrates on willing them away, but his heart is still pounding from his orgasm and he can’t seem to get them to retract. He looks up helplessly at Meren. “I can’t do it… I… sorry.”

“It’s okay.” Meren smirks wickedly before kneeling and straddling Jerath’s hips. “You can watch, this time.”

Meren takes hold of his cock and starts to stroke up and down its length. His long fingers wrap around it in a tight fist, and Jerath’s eyes track the movement of Meren’s hand as it slides back and forth. It’s one of the hottest things Jerath has ever seen—Meren staring down at him and biting his lip while he brings himself off. Jerath inhales deeply and draws Meren’s scent into his lungs. It’s a heady mix of sweat and sex and
man
,
and Jerath wants it to soak into his skin and drown in it. He can feel his animal instincts flaring up, the urge to mark and
be marked
flowing thickly through his body.

Meren’s breath catches, his rhythm stuttering to a stop as his whole body tenses. Jerath is powerless to stop the low growl that rumbles out of his chest as Meren throws his head back and comes, thick and wet, over Jerath’s stomach.

Jerath barely gives Meren time to finish before he’s flipping him over and pressing their bodies together. He keeps his hands away from Meren’s skin; his claws are still out and dangerous, and Jerath buries them in the deep furs again. Meren’s release is all over both of them now, and Jerath shuffles down until he can lick at the mess on Meren’s stomach.

He’s not fully aware of what he’s doing. The sudden need to taste, to claim, pushes him on and Jerath just lets it happen. He doesn’t know if this is normal or not; he and Serim haven’t talked about sex since his Choosing, but he’s definitely going to ask her about this later. For now, though, he concentrates on getting every last trace of it with his tongue.

Finally, Jerath sits back on his knees and wipes his mouth. His own skin is still sticky and he idly rubs it in with his fingers. His claws have finally gone back in, and Jerath lets out a deep, contented sigh and looks up to find Meren staring at him with wide eyes.

Oh.

Jerath might not be sure whether that was normal behavior for shifters, but from the look on Meren’s face, it’s probably not normal behavior for humans. He swallows and struggles to find something to say.

“Sorry?” he offers, wondering just when his inexperience is going to stop ruining everything. “I guess that’s not normal. I… I don’t….”

“Jerath.” Meren reaches up and tugs him back down until Jerath is lying on top of him again and then kisses him. It’s soft and gentle, and Jerath feels the tension bleed away with each sweep of Meren’s tongue. “It’s okay to lose control.” Meren runs his hands up Jerath’s back and Jerath resists purring at the touch, but only just. “I like it.”

“Really?” Jerath pulls back and looks Meren in the eye. “Even with the licking and the… um… rest of it?”

Meren grins up at him. “Especially the licking.”

Jerath laughs and feels lighter and happier than he has in a long time. But almost straightaway he feels a sudden, sharp stab of guilt. He shouldn’t be able to feel like this with everything that’s happened to his village.

“Hey?” Meren’s soft voice draws him out of his thoughts. “What’s wrong?”

Jerath sighs and closes his eyes for a moment. Images of Mahli, his mother, and the men that were taken flit through his mind. “I shouldn’t be this happy when my people are still in danger.”

Meren takes him firmly by the shoulders and Jerath’s eyes fly open. “It’s okay to find a little comfort, Jerath. You and Serim are doing all you can to help your village, there’s no cause to feel guilty.” He kisses Jerath once, a chaste brush of lips, and then pulls him down onto his chest. “Tomorrow, we start the journey back to my home. I promised you that I’d do everything I could to convince my father to help you. And I meant it.”

“Thank you.” Jerath pulls the covers up, settles against him, and closes his eyes again. He’s asleep within moments with the warmth of Meren’s arms wrapped tightly around him.

J
ERATH
wakes early again the next morning. Meren is still fast asleep beside him, and since Jerath can’t hear anything outside the tent, he assumes the rest of the camp is still asleep too. He listens hard, trying to pick out Serim’s heartbeat from all the others. It takes him a few minutes, but eventually he narrows down the familiar thump, slightly faster and louder than all the rest. She’s awake and prowling around. Jerath is almost certain she’s in her animal form and he itches to join her.

He tries to slip out from underneath the furs without disturbing Meren, but as soon as he replaces the covers, Meren’s eyes flutter open and he strains to see Jerath in the dim light.

“Where are you going?” Meren’s voice sounds thick with sleep and Jerath smiles. He reaches out and rubs his thumb across Meren’s bottom lip.

“To run with Serim. I need to burn off some energy.” He flexes his shoulders and hands as if to emphasize the point, and Meren manages a lazy, sleepy grin.

“I could help you burn off some energy.” He looks Jerath over from head to toe, his eyes suddenly dark and wide awake. “Much more fun than running.”

Jerath laughs and is sorely tempted to climb back under the furs, but he needs to talk to Serim before they do anything like that again. “As appealing as that sounds, I need to see Serim.”

“Okay.” Meren just smiles, and Jerath gets the feeling Meren knows exactly why Jerath wants to see her. “Be careful.”

Jerath nods, letting his mind delve deep inside for his animal form, and feels the now-familiar feeling wash over him. He stretches out his back and his legs, swishes his tail about and shakes his head. It’s still new and exciting to be able to do this, to feel the raw power that bunches in his muscles and hums through his veins.

Meren stretches out his hand from under the fur covers, and Jerath saunters over and rubs against it. He licks between Meren’s fingers, tickling at his skin, and Meren laughs, snatching his hand back and wiping it on the fur.

“Ugh, Jerath. That’s disgusting.” Meren grins, so Jerath figures he doesn’t really mean it.

He moves a little closer and takes Meren by surprise with a long lick along the side of Meren’s neck. Jerath nuzzles up against him and rubs his scent all over Meren’s skin, grumbling with satisfaction as their combined smell fills the air.

Meren buries his hands in Jerath’s thick fur. He runs his fingers through it, and Jerath contemplates jumping onto the bed so Meren can pet him more easily, but he hears Serim’s impatient growl just outside the tent. He gives Meren one last lick, snaps playfully at his fingers when Meren swats at his nose, and leaves the tent to join Serim.

S
ERIM
bumps Jerath with her shoulder, casually sniffing at him, and her whiskers twitch with the feline equivalent of a smile. He knows she’s going to tease him mercilessly when they shift back, but for now he just nudges her in return and enjoys the peace and quiet.

They leave the tents behind, stretching their legs as they leisurely bound about through the grass. The sun will be up soon, the sky already shot through with bursts of light, and Jerath loves this time of the day. The air is crisp and fresh, filling his lungs and blowing against his fur. It makes him feel alive.

They run back toward the camp, but Jerath veers off in the direction of the stream. Serim follows and they both shift back and step into the water.

“Oh, that’s cold!” Serim shivers violently as she dips down to wash herself.

Jerath laughs at her for a moment, before his expression turns more serious. “I need to ask you something.” He turns and ducks his head so she doesn’t see him blush. “About sex.”

“Is this about you and Meren?”

He looks up and meets her eyes. There’s no hint of laughter or teasing in her face and Jerath could hug her for that. “Yes.”

“Did something happen, Jerath?”

He gives her a brief explanation, skimping on the details until he gets to the bit about being unable to retract his claws and everything that followed. Serim, to her credit, manages to keep her reaction down to a smirk and a raised eyebrow, but when he gets to the end she’s all serious again. In fact, she looks far more serious than Jerath was expecting, and he gets a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach. “What is it?”

“Jerath—” she starts, and then stops. She motions for him to follow her and leaves the water to go sit on the grassy bank. “A reaction like that, Jerath, only happens when we find a match.” She pauses a moment for that to sink in, and Jerath struggles to understand what it means exactly.

“But Meren isn’t female or even a shifter. How is that possible?” He wades out of the water and sits down beside her.

“I don’t know.” She reaches out and grasps his hand. “Have you…?”

He knows why she’s asking. Serim wants to know if he and Meren have had full sex, because if they were both shifters that act alone would complete the bond, if they were matched. He’s also pretty sure there’s some biting involved, as there is in the Choosing. This has happened before in one of Jerath’s neighboring villages, where they’re more relaxed than his own in their beliefs. But the elders of Eladir heavily discourage same-sex matches because they see them as a waste; no children can come of them.