The Chocolate Lovers' Diet (18 page)

‘You were fabulous today,’ he slurs. ‘Did I tell you that, Gorgeous? Absolutely fabulous.’

‘Thanks.’ I slur a little myself.

‘You’re a lean, mean, killing machine.’

‘I am,’ I say proudly, not attempting to hide my silly grin. Perhaps this would be a good role for me in life – contract assassin – seeing as how I’m a pretty crap temporary secretary. I wonder if there’s a job out there anywhere for a hired hitman and chocolate taster combined? Now that’s what I call a job.

‘I’m sorry I acted so stupidly after you told me about you and Marcus,’ Crush says. ‘We should have sat down together and talked sensibly. You were right about forgiveness and all that stuff. I can see now that there were extenuating circumstances. I’ve really missed us being friends.’

Then, before I can formulate a suitable reply, he moves in and kisses me again. My head spins and not just because I’ve had too much of that cava. His lips are hot and searching and I can feel my knees and my resolve weakening.

But just as it’s getting interesting, I pull away. For some reason, I have a moment of stark clarity.

‘Let’s get out of here,’ Crush says, and takes my hand.

‘I can’t do this,’ I tell him shakily.

He looks puzzled. As well he might.

‘The thing is,’ I say. ‘About me and Marcus . . .’

That stops Crush in his tracks. ‘You’re not still seeing him?’

‘We’re getting married.’

He suddenly looks more sober than he did a minute ago. ‘No.’

Crush sits down on a big tree trunk behind us. Well, more sort of collapses onto it. All the fight, swagger and sway have rushed out of him. He’s just a deflated man with traces of mud on his face. ‘I thought that was just stupid office gossip. I didn’t think for a minute that it could be true.’ His expression is bleak when he looks up at me. ‘I didn’t think you’d fall for all that romantic guff.’

I sit down next to him. ‘I did,’ I say quietly.

‘That ridiculous
Officer and a Gentleman
uniform did it for you?’

‘Yes.’ How can I begin to explain to him that it’s so much more complicated than that? Would Aiden understand that us breaking up so quickly has shaken my faith in me ever managing to make a new relationship? He probably would, but I don’t think I’m capable of putting the explanation into words myself. It’s not that I was swept away by Marcus’s overtly romantic gesture. I know him too well to be fooled by that – really. But there’s no denying that I’ve run for the comfort of something familiar, something that I’m used to rather than face an unknown future alone or deal with the prospect of building another relationship from scratch.

‘Wow,’ Crush says. ‘I wish I’d done that myself now.’

And, for a moment, I wish it was Aiden Holby who had been the one to sweep me in his arms and carry me away. But it wasn’t; it was Marcus and now the die is cast.

‘I’m such an idiot,’ Crush says.

‘No. No,’ I protest. ‘I’m the one that’s the bigger idiot.’

Crush grins at me. ‘Yes,’ he says, ‘you are. I guess that’s why I love you.
Loved
you,’ he corrects.

Already I’m in the past tense. But at least I know that he truly loved me. However briefly. Not that it does me a lot of good now.

‘Well,’ he says. ‘Looks like that’s it for you and me.’

‘I’m sorry, Aiden. I never meant to hurt you.’

‘I guess the timing was all wrong for us.’

I nod in agreement.

Shyly, he takes my hand and fiddles with my fingers. I’m not wearing my great rock of an engagement ring and, for some reason, I’m glad about that. ‘We could have been very good together, Gorgeous,’ Crush tells me, and I’m not sure that I want to hear that. My throat has closed and there are tears prickling behind my eyes.

‘Oh, Lucy.’ Crush brushes his thumb over my cheeks. ‘Are you sure that you’ll be happy with him?’

‘I . . . er . . . well . . .’ Even if I could be certain of Crush, there is no way now that I can leave Marcus again. Just thinking about it makes my head ache. If I kept doing that, then I’d become the same to Crush as Marcus is to me and that isn’t fair on anyone. I’ve made my decision now and I have to stick with that – for better, for worse. I clear my throat and say, ‘Yes.’

‘Then that’s all I want for you,’ Crush tells me.

‘I really hope that we can remain friends.’

Aiden laughs, but it’s a laugh laced with sadness and regret.

I have to admit, that even to my ears, it sounds like the lamest statement I’ve ever made in my life.

Chapter Thirty-Eight

N
ow it’s Nadia’s turn to have a chocolate emergency and it sounds like it’s a pretty serious one to me. She’s eating one of Clive’s sumptuous fudge brownies while she fills us in on the story, but I can tell that our friend isn’t actually tasting one single morsel.

‘I’ve booked a flight for tomorrow morning,’ she tells us, glancing anxiously at her watch even though there are hours to go yet. ‘That’s the first one I could get. I’m out of my mind with worry. Who knows what Toby is doing out there?’

Losing his shirt would be my guess, but I don’t voice my opinion. Nadia is only too well aware what her husband is capable of.

‘Are you sure you don’t mind having Lewis to stay?’ Her son will be moving in with Aunty Chantal again.

‘Honey, if I can’t look after your kid while you’re away for a few days, how the hell am I going to manage when I’ve got one of my own?’ Chantal looks down at her bump. ‘This will be great training for me.’

‘You’re an angel, Chantal.’

‘I want you to go and do what you have to without
worrying about Lewis. He’ll be fine. I have four days to turn him into a spoiled brat. I can do that.’

We all clutch at something to laugh at.

‘You can’t go alone, Nadia,’ I say. ‘Let one of us come with you.’

‘Chantal is looking after Lewis. Autumn has her brother to worry about. And you, in case you’ve forgotten, have a wedding to organise.’

‘That isn’t as important as this,’ I tell her. To be honest, as much as I care about my friend’s welfare, I’m also looking for a reason to dodge all of my responsibilities at the moment. I don’t want to be organising a wedding. I don’t want to be working at Targa. I don’t want to have to face Crush or Marcus or anyone else. A few days in Las Vegas would be a good excuse to skip town, even though it’s at the expense of my friend’s misfortune. I could escape and be helpful. Multi-tasking. It’s what we women do best.

‘Do you really think you’ll be able to find Toby there?’ Autumn wants to know.

‘I have to try,’ Nadia says with a sigh. ‘I’ve stopped him from using the bank account in the UK, but I can’t put a stop on the credit cards that are in his name.’

I think of my own credit card. Perhaps I can’t go with Nadia after all, as much as I’d like to. I’m seriously maxed out and can’t really afford to fund any rash, philanthropic gestures.

‘I want to try to find him before he does too much damage,’ Nadia continues. ‘If he’d booked for the weekend, then maybe I’d sit it out, but his ticket is one-way only.
Does that mean that he isn’t planning to come back? Has he left us?’ She’s struggling not to cry.

‘We need more chocolate,’ I say, and there are nods all round. Jumping up, I go to the counter to choose our wares.

‘How’s Nadia?’ Clive wants to know.

‘Bad. Looks like Toby’s hopped it to Vegas and she’s going in hot pursuit to try to bring him back.’

Clive shakes his head. I notice that he’s pale and there’s day-old stubble on his chin, which is a real no-no for someone so image conscious.

‘You don’t look so hot yourself,’ I tell him softly.

He lowers his voice. ‘Tristan didn’t come home last night.’

‘Bummer.’ I then realise that’s a bad choice of words to use about a gay bloke. ‘How terrible,’ I try instead.

‘I’m not sure if we’re going to make it,’ he says sadly.

‘Not you guys too.’ I tut and give Clive a sympathetic smile. He’s too nice a person to be going through this torment. ‘Come and join us,’ I say. ‘You can bitch about him to us.’

‘I will when I’ve got a minute,’ he promises. ‘If Tristan keeps going missing like this, then I’m going to have to get an assistant.’

‘Maybe it won’t come to that.’

‘I hope you’re right.’ Clive hands over our plate of chocolates and cakes and I take them back to the table.

‘I have to eat these really quickly,’ Nadia tells us. ‘There’s a million things I have to do before my flight.’

And I have to eat them really quickly because my
stomach is gnashing away with nausea. The sort of nausea that only chocolate can cure. Is the whole world falling apart? Everyone’s relationships seem to be in such a state of flux. What happened to the days when you met someone at a school disco when you were fifteen, got engaged a few years later, then married. By the time you were twenty-one you had two kids and life was sorted. You just had to sit back and wait for the Golden Anniversary cards to arrive. When did all that change? Here we all are in our thirties, bouncing around emotionally like rubber balls. Makes me think that I’ve done the right thing. I really should grab hold of Marcus with both hands and march him down the aisle while I still have the chance.

Chapter Thirty-Nine

‘
B
ye, bye, Mummy.’ Lewis waved his little hand.

Nadia stood sniffing tearfully at the entrance to the departure gate.

‘Go,’ Chantal said, and made an ushering gesture. ‘We’ll be fine. Won’t we, champ?’

Lewis nodded happily.

‘I’ll be back as soon as I can,’ Nadia promised. ‘I love you, Lewis!’

Her son waved again. ‘Love you too, Mummy.’

They watched and waved as Nadia had her passport checked and then disappeared into the throng of travellers heading out of Gatwick Airport.

Chantal turned to her small charge and squatted down in front of him. She pulled playfully at one of the toggles on his jacket. ‘Now what?’

Lewis smiled and shrugged.

‘Wanna take in a movie?’

‘Okay.’ Lewis slipped his hand in hers. His trust in her made her heart turn over.

‘We have a choice of
Cars
,
Over the Hedge
, or
Garfield
Two
,’ she said, reciting the cinema listings that she’d studied on the internet.

Chantal had taken the precaution of putting a full programme of entertainment in place, just in case Lewis needed distracting from missing his mother. It was the first time Nadia had left him alone and she was worried that he wouldn’t cope too well. Chantal hated to admit this, but she’d been rather nervous of having complete control of a child on her own, even though she’d readily volunteered. It was great having Lewis around, but normally Nadia was always there in the background to step up to the plate and make decisions. Now she was flying by the wire for the first time. Chantal wondered whether it would be different with her own child; whether some inbuilt responsibility gene would kick in and you would know instinctively what was best for your offspring. ‘Or
Pirates of the Caribbean
. I think that may be a little scary for you.’

‘
Garfield
,’ Lewis announced happily. ‘I like pussycats.’

‘Me too.’

They headed back towards the car, Lewis trotting along beside her taking a dozen little steps to one of her long strides. ‘What do you want, Maltesers or popcorn?’

‘Maltesers,’ Lewis said.

Chantal ruffled his hair. ‘You make great choices, kiddo.’

It wasn’t the kind of film that Chantal would normally have watched, but seeing it with Lewis made it thoroughly enjoyable. He laughed all the way through at the terrible jokes and the preposterous plot, giggling with glee at the cartoon cat. And she came out thinking that
maybe it would be cute to get a ginger kitten – a sure sign that she was going soft in her old age.

Chantal glanced at her watch, wondering where Nadia would be now. She would have boarded the plane and be heading out over the Atlantic. She only hoped that the trip would be worthwhile.

‘What do you say that we hit the park now?’ Chantal suggested. ‘Then, if you’re real good we’ll drop by Chocolate Heaven and see how the guys are.’

Lewis nodded enthusiastically. ‘I want to go on the swings.’

‘That can be arranged,’ she told him.

Lewis jumped around wildly. Maybe he was a little hyperactive already on chocolate. She’d have to go easy on that. Rein in her own excesses. Why couldn’t chocolate give her the same buzz that it seemed to give to four year olds? She could do with a little of that extra energy.

In the playground, Lewis tried out the climbing-frame first. Then: ‘Come on the roundabout with me, Aunty Chantal.’

‘I can’t do that.’

‘You can,’ Lewis said. ‘It’s fun. I’ll look after you.’

Chantal checked around them. The playground was empty. No one was here to see her. What the hell. She jumped on beside Lewis and then scooted her foot along the ground to get the roundabout moving. The air whizzed past them, the leaves on the trees blurred and Lewis shrieked with joy. Had she ever been in a kids’ playground before? She wasn’t sure that she had – not since she was a kid
herself, at least. It was great to feel the wind in her hair. She looked down at Lewis’s ecstatic face. She could do this. She was sure. She could be a mum – and enjoy it. One day she would bring her own children to this playground. Her hand covered Lewis’s.

‘Don’t be scared,’ he said.

And she knew that she wouldn’t be.

When he’d made them both thoroughly dizzy on the roundabout, he headed for the swings.

‘Push me high,’ he entreated. ‘Push me high!’

Chantal obliged and sent him soaring through the air, making him scream and kick his legs with excitement. She hoped that Nadia would approve of her technique. ‘I think that’s enough now,’ she said, as she slowed the swing down.

When it was moving backwards and forwards gently, Chantal squeezed onto the swing next to Lewis. The seat was more than a little neat on her butt, which was expanding nicely in line with her bump.

‘Aunty Chantal,’ Lewis said seriously. ‘Do you still have a baby in your tummy?’

She turned and grinned at him. ‘I sure do.’