The Chocolate Garden (Dare River Book 2) (41 page)

“I’ll take that as a yes.”

His fingers curled around hers, the perfect fit.

They made their way down the serpentine garden path she’d created that looped beside the house. The roses bloomed in a profusion of pinks and reds and whites, and some of the petals lay on the ground, creating a magical carpet. The hydrangeas’ blooms hung heavy against the green in a mix of blues and pinks. Every time she saw what she’d done here, it reminded her of what she was capable of. She could bring something to life from nothing—just like she had with herself.

And then she thought of Rye’s toast metaphor and gave a quiet laugh.

“Something funny?” he asked.

“Just thinking about something Rye said.”

It wasn’t where she’d hoped to start, but they had to start somewhere. Perhaps it would thaw some of the chill between them. So she told him about her brother’s unique marital colloquialism.

“Well, I like toast,” John Parker finally said after a long pause. “And heaven knows I love my mama’s homemade jam.”

Was he trying to keep things light between them? Not delving too much into what the butter, bread, and jam meant for them? Following suit, she asked, “What kind of jam does your mama make?”

So they would start to mend their rift this way. With the simple things.

“Oh, about all kinds. She starts with strawberry in the spring and then goes crazy with peach and plum as the summer drags on.”

“We never made jam growing up.” Her mama would never have considered doing something so domestic.

“I’ll get you a jar of my mama’s. What’s your favorite?”

Another connection, linking their families together. “I’m partial to strawberry,” she admitted, deciding she might try and plant some strawberries next season.

“Me too,” he answered, and they fell back into silence again as they crossed the meadow.

A flock of black crows flew overhead, squawking loudly, and a few mosquitoes touched upon her skin. The sun was warm, the air as thick as the sorrow still lodged under her breastbone.

When they reached the river, he sat beside her, still holding her hand. The water was clear at the edges and muddy in the middle where the current was the thickest, and Tammy wondered if that’s how life was.

“I didn’t sleep last night, without you and the kids,” John Parker admitted.

Her eyes grew wet, and she blinked to force the tears back. “Me either.”

“I spent a lot of time in our chocolate garden, praying for guidance about us, about what to do. When I didn’t find any answers, I went to see my mama.”

So she hadn’t been the only one to need counseling.

“Mama understood why you wouldn’t feel ready to be married again when you’re still healing from your marriage and coming to terms with what it did to you.”

“She did?” she asked in complete surprise, finally turning to look at him.

His blue eyes were already on her, as if they’d been on her the whole time, and he’d only been waiting for her to realize it. “Yes. She said she felt the same way you did when Dale first asked her to marry him. And she counsels people just coming out of divorce to consider what they learned before stepping into marriage for the second time.”

Well, this was encouraging. She had half expected John Parker to try and persuade her again that her ideas were unfounded since he was so different from Sterling. After talking to Rye, part of her would have been susceptible to that line of argument.

“So you’re not here to try and convince me to marry you?” she asked.

His brow quirked up. “Nope. I just wanted to give you something to think about. My mama doesn’t talk about marriage so much now with her couples as she does partnership. For so many people marriage has come to mean a power struggle, and that causes a heap of problems, like one person getting their way and trampling all over the other person’s thoughts or wishes. But partnership is different.”

This was a new way of using the word. All she knew about partnership was from business. “It sounds more equal.”

“Exactly,” he said, resting her hand on his thigh. “If we become partners, you and I will always share how we feel about things and make our decisions together. I’ll give you the space you need to grow, and you’ll give me the same. Of course, I’ll want you to share your growth with me, so I can love all the new parts of you that are emerging. And I hope I can do the same.”

The way he said it made her think of the life of a flower, how it always showed a new array of colors and textures with the passing of time, from bud to bloom. “I like that idea.”

“And there’s Rory and Annabelle, of course,” he added, squeezing her hand. “We’d need to agree on what kind of role you’d want me to play in their lives. Of course, I love them and would want to be a daddy to them, like Dale was to me, but that’s up to you. You have to decide if you trust me with them.”

That did it. She scooted closer and laid her head against his arm. “I’ve always trusted you with them, John Parker. They love you too, so much. And you already know Rory and Annabelle have been praying for you to be their daddy.”

He let out a deep breath. “I didn’t tell Rory I loved you and wanted to marry you to box you into a corner. I hated that you might think that.”

Even though she hadn’t, she appreciated him clearing that up. “Thank you for saying that.”

“I meant what I said about respecting your mind, Tammy. I won’t ever manipulate you.”

She leaned up then and stared into his blue eyes. “I know you won’t. Now, tell me more about this partnership idea.”

The tale he wove with his words was as magical as the story he’d told her children about the chocolate garden.

“A sacred partnership grounded in equality, huh?” she said once he finished. “It sounds like a dream.”

“Dreams are just visions we haven’t experienced yet. Doesn’t make them any less real.”

As a piece of wisdom, she might have to write that down when they returned to the house.

“Okay, let’s say I’m in favor of exploring this idea of having a partnership with you someday, but still want a little more time to be on my own.”

“I’d say take your time,” he said, his dimple winking in his cheek, “just don’t take forever.”

It felt like the entire world had been lifted off her shoulders. “Want to shake on it?”

“How about a kiss instead, if that’s not too forward of me?”

“John Parker, if there’s one thing I would never accuse you of, it’s being forward.”

“Glad you realize just how much space I am capable of giving you, honey.”

When she thought back on it, he’d given her a year. Hadn’t he told her he’d wanted her from the first moment they’d met?

“John Parker, I love you, and I want to be with you. And most of all I want to just be me, for you and the kids.”

“I want you to be you too,” he told her. “I don’t want anyone else. I just want you. Only you.”

She rose onto her knees on the bench. “If you don’t kiss me after saying something like that…”

He yanked her onto his lap. “I was waiting for you to make up your mind, honey.”

She linked her arms around his neck and gave him the full smile that finally burst forth from within her. “Consider my mind made up.”

“Good. I like a woman who knows her own mind.”

He laughed when she crushed her lips to his mouth, the fear of never kissing him again, touching him again, dissolving like morning mist in sunlight. He tugged on her bottom lip. Nipped the side of her mouth and then took the kiss deeper.

Right where she wanted it.

When they drew apart, they were both gulping in large doses of air.

“I want you,” she said, gripping her knees around his waist. “Right now.”

He ran his hand down her back. “We’re pretty remote out here. The guards know to give us privacy, but I can’t guarantee we won’t be seen.”

Her desire was swift and urgent, like the water cutting through the land. “Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn,” she breathed out, edging back and undoing his shorts.

His wild laughter made her feel as though all was right between them again. “That’s a good one. If this were another situation, I would call my good ol’ friend, Rhett.”

“You wouldn’t dare,” she said, stepping off him and letting her Capris and underwear drop to the ground.

He whistled as she straddled him again. “I have to say, if this is one of those new facets of yourself you’re growing into, I’m all for it.”

More than ready for him, she took him in hand and pressed him inside her, the fit tight, agonizingly tight, and oh so perfect. God, how she had missed him, missed this sacred connection between them.

“Shut up.”

“Yes, ma’am,” he said and covered his mouth with hers.

Her body rose and fell as the sun rained down on them, and soon she felt the ripples of her release crest across her skin. Her body surged against him, pressing him deeper inside of her. She threw her head back and cried out his name as she came. He gripped her hips when his release took him and wrapped his arms around her.

When his breath finally grew even, he whispered against her damp skin, “I love you. Now and always. Partner.”

She was grinning when she angled back to trace the sweat trailing from his temples. “I love you too. Partner.”

“It has a nice ring to it.”

“I think so.”

“So, this equality thing…it goes for our love life as well.”

She twirled her finger around a lock of his hair. “Does it now? I’m awfully glad to hear that since I have a lot of areas to explore with you, this being an equal partnership and all. You know, this is the first time we’ve made love outside of our magical tree house.”

“True. And in the daylight. We’re going to have to get around to making love in a bed some time with four walls, air conditioning, and not a single mosquito biting my most private parts.”

Her laughter was cut off when he kissed her, long and lingering, igniting fires inside her all over again.

“Of course, since it’s a sacred partnership,” he continued, “I also get to cherish you and your delectable body, and you get to do the same to me.”

Oh, she was liking this more and more. She reached for the hem of his T-shirt, and he raised his arms in response. She threw it to the ground. Then she did the same with her own shirt and unsnapped her plain white bra. It joined the trail of clothing on the ground, and she didn’t even worry about the dirt.

“I can agree to that,” she said, feeling delightfully scandalous, standing in the great outdoors without a stitch of clothing on. “So, I have an idea for some more personal growth today. How about we take a swim in the river? I’ve dreamed about skinny dipping here with you since you and I first made love.”

“Feeling bold, are you?” he drawled, his dimple winking brilliantly now.

“Yes, and free. I never imagined having a man love me and feeling so free at the same time.”

He rose, picked her up so that her feet were off the ground, and walked toward the river. “Well, I do love you, and you
are
free. Never forget that.”

And as he walked into Dare River with her in his arms, their new sacred pact in place, she felt like the water flowing over her skin was baptismal water, one that made her new and left her with the most powerful understanding of all.

That true love never made you give up anything meaningful.

Epilogue

The party John Parker threw to display the gardens she’d designed for him was one of the biggest events in Dare River that summer. The smoker puffed out delicious scents of hickory and dry-rubbed ribs while everyone wandered around the pond, the kids feeding the koi swishing through the clear water, and oohed and ahed over the chocolate garden in the center. The benches and Adirondack chairs within the garden were in such high demand you’d think it was opening night at one of her brother’s concerts.

Tammy had received so many compliments, she was sure her cheeks had turned a permanent pink, and her family…well, they’d pretty much kissed and hugged her until she was sure her heart would burst.

The person who surprised her the most was Mama. Tammy had insisted on inviting her, and she’d come alone, staying at a nearby hotel. After taking one look at the gardens, Mama had grasped her hands, tears shining in her eyes. “My God, child, you have a gift. I’m so sorry I never saw it before.” Then she’d wrapped Tammy in a hug, and it had been hard to miss Rye and Amelia Ann watching open-mouthed from the patio while Daddy ran his finger over his mouth like he was considering it all.

“Thank you for saying that, Mama, but it’s water under the bridge now. I didn’t know I had all this in me either. I’m just so glad it’s made itself known.”

And that her mama’s new gentleness and ability to listen were making themselves known, creating a new relationship between them that Tammy would never have believed possible.

John Parker’s tony guests were so interested in Visionary Gardening that Tammy started to feel like she needed to give out numbers like a deli counter. Of course, Reva and Tallulah were carrying on about Tammy’s work too, which had prompted country singers, record producers, and business leaders to draw out their smartphones and insist on scheduling something with her right away. Her calendar was filling up fast.

Visionary Gardening was in high demand, and she couldn’t be prouder.

She took a moment to grab a glass of sangria from one of the wait staff circling around. Talking so much had given her a powerful thirst. As the stars started to come out, many people said their goodbyes, leaving only her family and John Parker’s and a few stragglers to enjoy the decorative lighting in the backyard and the country music playing on the stereo system.

Taking a moment to enjoy herself since no one was requiring her attention, Tammy let her gaze rest on Rory and Annabelle, who were chasing their motley crew of dogs, who someone must have finally let out of the mudroom. Their laughter warmed her heart like always.

In just a week, she and the kids would be moving out of Rye’s house and into the modest three-bedroom she’d found to rent. She could easily cover their expenses with the money she’d already earned from her business, and this evening had proved to her it was only the beginning of her financial independence. The kids were still warming up to the move, but that was okay. Change was hard for most people. They would make it work, just like they’d made it through everything else. Together.