Authors: Heather Brewer
Cam and the big guy, Thorne, were thumb wrestling, but it took only a word from Scot to pull Cam away. “I thought you wanted to wait.”
Scot shrugged. “I'm done waiting.”
Scot followed Cam away from the fire, and I stood there awkwardly for a moment, not really sure how I was supposed to react. I guess it showed, because right then Markus came over to me and pulled a short, rectangular bottle from the bag. The liquid inside was bright green, almost fluorescent. It didn't look like something any human should ingest. On the front, it said
MD 20/20
, which made it sound more like a chemical than a drink. He tilted his head curiously at me. “Mad Dog? They say it's kiwi-and-lemon flavored, but if you ask me, it tastes like I imagine antifreeze would.”
“I'll pass,” I said, wrinkling my nose. Scot and Cam were disappearing into the woods on the edge of the cemetery. If I was wrong about my impression of them, I was seriously curious about where they were going. I glanced at Markus, not wanting to ask because it was really none of my business, but wanting to know just the same. If it weren't for my curiosity, I'd never know anything. “So . . . about Scot and Cam. Are those twoâ”
“A thing? Yeah. But they still haven't admitted it to
anyone. Not even us.” He looked at me then, suddenly guarded. “You don't have a problem with that, do ya?”
“Of course not.” I'd had gay friends in the pastâknew lots of gay people back in Colorado. It didn't matter to me what someone's orientation was. I guess it just surprised me to find this kind of tolerance in such a small, otherwise backward place. Open minds were everywhere, it seemed. How closed-minded of me to presume otherwise.
Finally accepting my reluctance to drink something that tasted like automobile lubricant, Markus dropped the Mad Dog back in the bag. “Good. Because I know for a fact that every guy here would kick your ass for giving them a hard time. Scot and Cam are cool. And we protect our own.”
Shrugging, I said, “I was just curious.”
Markus raised his left eyebrow at me. “
Curious
curious? Or just curious?”
It took me a moment to realize what he was asking, but when it occurred to me, I shook my head. “What? No. I'm straight.”
He nodded like that was pretty much what he'd expected. Then, he snapped his fingers and dug around in the bottom of the paper sack. It was a huge bag, with endless possibilities. I kept waiting for him to pull out a lamp or an umbrella or something, but instead he retrieved a bottle of what looked like pink wine. The label read
Boone's Farm Strawberry
Hill
. Placing the bottle in my hand, Markus smiled brightly. “You, my new friend, need some time on the farm.”
I twisted the cap off and sniffed. What was inside smelled sweet and appealing, so I took a sip, and then took a bigger swallow. Finally, something that didn't set my head on fire or make me gag at the thought of drinking it. Markus, who was apparently the group's personal bartender, looked pleased.
“Stephen, right?” As I was helping myself to another swallow, I turned my head to see Thorne, staggering a bit to the right, like we were on a cruise ship or something. My guess was that Thorne had likely spent a bit of time on the farm already tonight. He grabbed my shoulder with one meaty hand to steady himself and then breathed hotly into my face. “Hey, Stephen. How can you tell which squirrel is in charge?”
I sincerely hoped he was telling a joke and not asking me a question that he needed a serious answer to. Drunk people could be pretty obnoxious. “I . . . don't know. How?”
“He's the one with the biggest nuts.” Thorne bent over with laughter. He was the only one. Markus and I just stood there, waiting. I took another drink, and Markus borrowed the bottle long enough to take one of his own.
When Thorne straightened and looked at me, I shrugged, not wanting to offend him. Even though it had been one of
the worst jokes that I had ever heard, I said, “Oh. Funny.”
The fire was burning brightly by this point, hot coals glowing at its core. At the edges of the cemetery, fireflies glowed intermittently. The stars shone above us. So much light, and yet the darkness seemed so much bigger, so much more.
“All right, then. What do you call a cheap circumcision?” Thorne took the wine bottle from my hand and downed a generous mouthful before handing it to me. He wiped the excess from his mouth with the back of his hand and said, “A rip-off.”
I cringed, swallowing a bit more of that Strawberry Hill. My entire body was warm, and I was feeling pretty mellow. A cursory glance informed me that I'd already drunk half the bottle, with only a little help from Markus and Thorne. I must have been buzzed, because I actually laughed at Thorne's stupid joke. Markus, who was clearly more sober than I was, winced and said, “Your jokes are really stupid, Thorne.”
“Yeah,” I said. “If you could just try maybe . . .
not
telling any more, that'd be . . . great.” The three of us stood there for a moment in silence. Then Markus lost it, laughing, and I joined him. Thorne blinked a lot. My guess was that he was pretty wasted.
“Wanna hear a joke about a broken pencil? Never mind,
it's pointless!” Thorne laughed loudly and wandered back to Nick, the only guy I hadn't talked to yet. They slapped hands in a high five, but Nick looked reluctant to do so. Something told me I'd like Thorne a whole lot better when he was sober.
I took another swig. “So. Anyway.”
“Yeah. We can just pretend that whole thing never happened,” Markus said. “Have you met Nick yet?”
As I shook my head, I felt a wave of pleasant dizziness overtake me. Yup. Definitely buzzed. “Not yet.”
“He and Thorne are brothers. Nick's the quieter one. You'd like him.” I wouldn't have guessed that Nick and Thorne were related if Markus hadn't said so. But once he did, I could see the resemblance. Same green eyes, same broad shoulders. Nick was certainly far leaner than his hulking brother. Still, they looked more alike than Devon and Cara, who were twins.
Devon was perched on top of the tallest tombstone in the cemetery, a nearly empty bottle of whiskey in one hand and a clove cigarette in the other. At the base of the tombstone lay the empty bottle of schnapps, but Devon appeared completely sober and unamused. Not unhappy. Just . . . unamused. I looked up at him, towering over all of us, and bet that if we were squirrels, Devon would be the one in charge. Snorting with laughter, I spit out a mouthful of cheap wine and nearly shot it from my nose.
So this was what it felt like to be drunk. Or getting drunk. Or something.
Noticing that I'd finished the last of the Boone's Farm, Devon dropped his whiskey bottle down to Markus and gestured to me with a nod. Markus handed the bottle to me, and I took it in my hand, marveling at the amber liquid as it licked at the glass like fire. Devon's eyes were on me, locked in sudden intrigue at what I would do next. Cheap strawberry wine and sugary peach booze were the stuff of teenagers, the stuff of kids playing around with drinking, the stuff of children pretending to be adults. Whiskey . . . that was what men drank. Was I a boy, or was I a man?
With a nod at Devon, I pressed the bottle to my lips, tilting it up. As I swallowed, I resisted the urge to cough and swear and puke my guts out. Whiskey, it turned out, was nasty shit. I wasn't at all sure how Devon could stomach the stuff. I looked at the bottle in my hand, and wondered if what was contained inside could really define whether someone was a boy or a man. I doubted it.
I was still doubting it when Devon tossed me a tiny, airplane-serving-sized bottle of vodka. He took a drag on his cigarette and held up a tiny bottle of his own. Then he nodded, the hint of something sinister glinting in his eyes. “You and me, Stephen. First one to finish wins.”
“Wins what?” I was tempted to say,
Your sister?
but didn't,
attributing my snarky bravery to the bottle in my hand. Liquid bravery or not, I wasn't sure if Devon was in a joking mood, and figured that a little quip like that might earn me a punch in the face. I hadn't told Devon about making out with Cara in the rain, and I wouldn't, either. I was smarter than that, at least.
Devon looked at me pointedly. “Just drink.”
Slowly, and with no way outânot without losing some serious cool points, anywayâI twisted the tiny cap off and met Devon's gaze with a daring, raised eyebrow. Devon tossed his cap over his shoulder. It bounced, then rolled for several feet until it finally disappeared over the edge of the cliff that led to the reservoir below.
In my head, I heard the theme from
The Good, the Bad and the Ugly
âthe one they always play when the sheriff and the bad guy face offâand suppressed a chuckle. Then I tilted the bottle up, drinking for real this time. The vodka burned, too, but not as much as the whiskey had. It also tasted like shit.
Just as I swallowed the last drop, Devon's empty bottle hit me in the knee. I shook my head, defeated. “Guess that means you win.”
Devon's eyes lit up. The corners of his mouth curled into a smile. Devon always won. That much was written all over his face. The flickering light of the fire made him look even
more sinister. “Yes, it does. Wanna see what?”
I shrugged, my stomach gurgling in protest. “Sure.”
Devon licked his lips, appearing to taste the remaining liquor on them, and turned to Markus. “Hey, Markus . . . if all your friends jumped off a cliff, would you?”
Markus grinned. “You're damn right I would.”
Devon seemed to be mulling something over in his mind. After a moment, he turned his attention back to Markus. The air felt heavier. Just before Devon spoke, I realized that all the boys in the group were watching me, as if waiting for my reaction to whatever was coming. In clear, crisp words that seemed to echo into the air, Devon said, “But would you jump first?”
Markus squeezed his hands into fists, cracking the knuckles. Then he broke into a run. His feet slapped the ground in beat with my heart as he came ever closer to the cliff's edge. I flicked my eyes from Markus to Devon, who stood tall and proud, looking down on the scene from well above the rest of us. He seemed to be watching me far more than he was watching Markus.
I turned back to Markus, who ran until there was no more room on that dirt road left to run. He dove off the edge with his arms stretched out in front of him and his toes pointed, a form that would have made Superman proud. As his feet left the ground, I bolted for the edge of the cliff and
skidded to a halt, wavering as my feet hit the loose soil. My booze-soaked world shifted wildly, but I managed to catch myself before I followed Markus's lead over the edge. Several rocks weren't so lucky and tumbled over after him. I looked down, searching the reservoir frantically, but there was nothing below besides rock and water. Markus was nowhere to be found. He'd simply vanished. There'd been no splash, no ripples in the water. He'd dived into the reservoir, but I hadn't heard him break the surface.
The crunch of gravel sounded as Devon dropped down from the tombstone and came to stand beside me. Leaning slightly over the edge, I was still searching the water for Markus's body. I must have missed the sound of him hitting the water because I'd been drinking. My perception had been drowned to nothing by whiskey, vodka, and schnapps. A theory formulated in my drunken brain that I couldn't see him because he'd hit hard enough to sink, and then was carried off downstream. That, or he'd climbed inside an old refrigerator. My heart raged in my chest.
Markus was dead.
I stared in horror at Devon, who merely nodded casually, as if this was to be expected. Devon took a long, slow drag on his clove cigarette, and flicked the butt over the edge of the cliff. All I could do was stare after it, saying nothing, watching the ember do somersaults through the air. After
an eternity, it was swallowed by the reservoir.
Dead. Markus was dead.
I couldn't wrap my head around it. We had to get to the police. Now. Maybe there was still time to save him. I took a step backâmy disbelieving eyes locked on the ledge, my heart pounding out an urgent rhythmâand I turned to run. But a soft body blocked my way. I slammed into it and hit the ground with a thump. My fingers were shaking as I brushed the gravel from them and looked up at whoever I'd run into.
Markus grinned down at me, and Nick and Thorne burst into laughter behind him. Markus nodded once at Devon, who returned the favor.
I stared at Markus. I looked back to the ledge. When I confirmed one more time that Markus was indeed standing right there in front of me, my heart calmed a little, but I remained confused. My head was swimming, and the liquor didn't help. “How did . . . but you . . .”
Nick tossed a bottle to Markus and he caught it, then took a swig, as if replenishing himself. As he wiped his mouth dry with the back of his hand, he said, “You wanna know how I did it?”
I swallowed hard, a bitter taste coating my tongue. “Of course I do.”
Devon plucked a Zippo lighter from his pocket and I noticed the small skull on the front of it as he lit another
cigarette. His jaw tensed as he drew the smoke into his lungs, his voice gravelly. “Are you sure, Stephen? Because once you know it, you can't unknow it.”
Running over the details in my mind of what had just happenedâMarkus running, jumping, falling, then appearing once again unharmedâI nodded, still terribly confused. I had to know.
Nick spoke up. “Show him, already. Show him so we can stop pretending.”
Devon's eyes flicked to the cliff's edge. “I don't know if you can handle it, Stephen. It's a long way down.”
Brushing the remaining gravel from my hands, I stood and looked over the ledge again. I wasn't sure what the distance had to do with the trick he'd just pulled, or whether they were just trying to psych me out again. I was about to call Devon's bluff when he slammed into me, clutching me close in a pseudowrestling move. I lost my footing and we tumbled over the edge together.