The Celestial Kiss (2 page)

I stooped down and grabbed the paper that was still pressed in her cold hand.  Her curvy words leapt over the page, the ink bleeding through to the other side of thin, yellowed parchment.  Small type was transfixed to the page, and the jagged edge assured me she’d pulled this from a book.   I didn’t immediately recognize any of the words on the translucent paper, but it was hard to pay attention to anything other than the single word that leapt off the page in bold black letters:  Samuel.

The word stirred something deep in my mind—a name.   

Gabrielle, who had never spoken to me before last Wednesday night when she came to my door, had entreated me with the words I’d needed to hear, almost as though she knew my innermost desires. 

You deserve to see the world.  You should know what it feels like to sleep on the beach and dance in the rain.  You should be able to go wherever you want and see things that exist far beyond this world, and taste a gourmet dinner, and wear a beautiful dress, and fall in love with somebody who will love you back.  You deserve more.

It was the sweetest thing anybody had ever said to me, aside from Xian’s manufactured affection.  She won me over in that instant, but still I had to ask why she was doing this.  Gabrielle smiled.  “I’m a mother, despite being a terrible one.  I made an unforgiveable mistake, one that can never be fixed.  But I will do anything to get back to Samuel, if only to tell him I’m sorry.”

I knew she regretted leaving her family and desperately wanted to be reunited with her son.  I also knew that she was using me to help her escape, and that she would probably abandon me once we’d passed over the threshold of father’s property.

Despite my skepticism, she convinced me of one crucial thing: that I deserved more.  I believed her then, and I still did.  It was why I wasn’t going to let her sacrifice be in vain.  I would follow through with the plan, and I would get this seemingly frivolous piece of paper to her son, even if I died trying.  I didn’t believe her last words were an accident…they’d been carefully considered to deliver a message to me.  I’d rather try and fail, she’d said, then live another second as your prisoner.  As fate would have it, so would I.

Xian was no fool.  When I stood beside him two nights later at the crest of the stairs, stationed between him and my father, he fixed me with a dubious stare.  My father, too, looked at me with surprise but it quickly turned into a smile.  “Look who’s decided to join us…”  He offered Xian a nod of respect, as though he were single-handedly responsible for getting me here.  In a way, he was.

I smiled back, hoping against hope that I didn’t look as nervous as I felt.  “What’s the matter?”  Xian teased.  Everything about him was smug, right down to the way he leaned casually against the banister, one hand holding a glass of scotch and the other glancing at the garish gold watch he always wore, despite the fact that time was meaningless.  “You get bored while you were on strike?  Looking for a little action?”

My mouth was dry.  I was attempting to sneak out from right under their noses.  It was either genius or madness…only time would tell.  I grabbed the glass of scotch from Xian’s hand and drained what was left before returning it to him.  “I’m here because I need to blow off some steam.  If I can’t get rid of some of this hatred for you after what you did, I just may kill you myself.”

He smirked, revealing a dimple in his left cheek that could have been a charming feature once.  “Promises, promises.”

I pointedly ignored him, sweeping my long blonde hair up into a ponytail.  Below us, a multitude of people milled around with drinks in hand, carefree and laughing.  Excitement buzzed in the air around them like an electrical current; tonight they would overindulge in alcohol and each other.  The only thing that set tonight apart from any given Tuesday was that this was the one night they would be allowed an unadulterated freedom over everything they could see, taste, or touch…everything but the city in the distance. 

The hunt was an extravagant monthly occurrence.  My first one had also been my last.  It had been every bit as awful as I expected it would be, and I refused to ever participate again after realizing I was the bait that would lure a cool dozen humans to their excruciating death.  I’d never been to one with Xian, and I’d never wanted to.  Given the things he did in my father’s company, I could only imagine the things that went on when we weren’t around.

Years had passed and things had changed since my first time ever leaving these grounds.  The disappearances and bodies that were left in the vampires’ wake added up.  For the humans, it provided the fuel to an old wives’ tale about demons who had lived in the woods since the beginning of time and regularly feasted on human souls.  The inception of that folklore had restricted the flow of traffic through these parts, so that there was not half as many people willing to risk their lives for the supposedly breathtaking view of the city at night.  I’d have said it was a good thing, but the lack of hikers and thrill-seekers just meant that the vampires had to get more creative.  My understanding was this:  with my brothers and sisters outnumbering the humans two to one, the hunt could be dangerous…and not just for the prey. 

“I like you, Lilith.” Xian ran an absent finger along my rigid collarbone before grasping the chain of my mother’s necklace.  It always seemed to entrance him, and this time was no different.  He stared at my chest in a way that made my breath hitch, but he was intrigued by the two metal triangles, welded together so that they formed a sort of star with six loops.  From the moment he’d first seen it, it had enchanted him.  I suspected that in his quest to take everything away from me, he’d sought this too.  Unfortunately for him, I’d not part with the only thing I had of my family, my home.  He released it as if I’d spoken those thoughts aloud.  “But you’d best stay out of my way.  Trust me when I say that you don’t want to get in the way of me and my victim.”

“Trust
me
, Xian, when I say that I don’t want to be anywhere near you after what you did.”

“Which part?”  He mused, as if he truly didn’t know what I was referring to.

“Your whole purpose in life is tearing other people down to feed the chaos of your soul—or lack thereof.  You wash your hands with the blood of the innocent, and if you think that I could ever forgive you for that-”

“Oh!”  Xian smacked his head in understanding.  “This is about Michael and what’s her name…Giselle?”

“Gabrielle.”  I amended, straightening with the sense of purpose she’d instilled in me.

“You’re still on that?”  He laughed, looking out over the people milling around below us. 

“You killed a man for no reason.”

“I had my reasons…you know I don’t like competition.”

But in spite of that sentiment, he was the first out the door, striding into the breezy night with a sense of contained purpose.  I let the others go first so as not to be trampled in their frenzy, and turned back to catch my father’s eye.  He stood at the top of the steps where Xian and I had been moments before, where he always delivered his accusations and punishments, a one-man jury. 

My father didn’t participate in the hunt.  He had spent years teaching himself to be principled and control his desires.  I suspected that he got what he wanted while the rest of us had our heads turned.  I also suspected that while everyone else was out indulging in sin, and I hid out in my room, he checked to ensure that nothing was amiss with his home. 

Now he nodded, and though it was a nearly imperceptible movement, it filled me with a gnawing sense of guilt.  In all my life, that was the closest he’d ever gotten to showing affection, and it was rare.  But I knew what it meant; he was proud of me.

I traipsed through the woods alongside drunken miscreants for the better part of the night, skirting the party so that I could be seen but not noticed.  Nobody had any thoughts for me, and I liked it that way.  They were all so consumed with their own sheer freedom that they didn’t care what I was doing, or even that I was there.  One of the men offered me a flask of something I suspected was absinthe.  When I turned it down, ever the buzzkill, he went to find someone else to play with, and nobody tried to immerse me in their celebration after that.

Some of them were content to just be out from under my father’s thumb and didn’t see the need to waste their time hunting when there was plenty for them at home.  Those were the ones who I stuck with.  I watched them all night, dancing through the trees intoxicated and happy, their ridiculously expensive dresses swirling in circles and their jackets strewn on branches when they disappeared to some dark pocket of the forest.  By the time the inky sky started to clear up, the stars fading from view, I was just as exhausted from watching their exploits as they were from living them.  Xian had been gone most of the night, and while I didn’t want to think of what he was doing, I was grateful to not have to face him again.

I seized my opportunity as soon as it presented itself.  The inky sky was starting to lighten through the gaps in the tree-tops when the first group headed back with drooping heads and full bellies, tired but content.  And when the rest started to dissipate, the ones who were still in party mode, I watched them go, laughing and singing still like a bunch of teenagers despite their varying ages.  Finally there we were, the last of us—a couple who was quite invested in one another, an older man who was passed out against a rock with his mouth open, and me.  If I had changed my mind, chickened out, that would have been my last chance at redemption.  But I hadn’t put myself through this frivolous night of debauchery for nothing.  I was bone-tired, but every bit as determined as I had been at the beginning of the night.  So I walked a few steps away from them in the opposite direction.  Then I ran.

I’m not sure that my absence was even noticed, but the people I’d left behind were the least of my concerns.  No, the real trouble was that I was running deeper into the forest, closer to the city, towards humanity.  Had Xian passed me already, or was he ahead?  Was I effectively running right into his arms?

I didn’t even think about stopping until my breath came in gasps, tearing reluctantly from lungs that felt like they would explode at any moment.  My entire body begged me to stop running, collapse to the ground and let them drag me back.  To fall to the ground now would be to admit defeat without ever really trying…not an option.  After what I’d done, handing myself over was far worse than death, and so I pushed on, denying the terror that leeched through me. Slowing down to catch a breath was out of the question—until my heart felt as though it would collapse and turn to ash in my chest.  Able to breathe no more, I ducked behind a tree and pressed myself so deeply into the bark that it cut my back through my shirt.  For the first time in my life I prayed.  It was more of a desperate plea, but if He really did exist, He would know what I meant. 
Lord please…

The desire to run for my life warred with the desperate need to give in, which spread through my limbs like a disease.  Despite my damnable pride, I was fragile.  I didn’t appreciate the stereotype that the others had affixed me—defenseless and meek—but I knew the delicate nature of my soul and suspected that looked sturdy compared to my physical weaknesses.  I could run or I could die; the choice was obvious.   

Though my lungs still seared, and my chest was like a balloon too full of air, I ran, ignoring the long branches that tore at my exposed arms, threatening to ensnare me and hold me until they found me.   I focused on nothing but my feet poring over the loosely packed Earth, my chest pushing the limits… my goal. There was only the blind faith that I was running in the right direction.

With blood coursing through every part of my body, thrumming in my ears like crashing waves, it was hard to be sure but I thought I could hear my name on the wind, carried through the forest like a threat:
Lilith
.  I ignored it at first, until it came again.  I recognized the voice—it was the very same one that had whispered to me claims of love, proclamations of respect…all lies.  The dead silence, a calm before the storm, told me my heart had quit and then a second voice, barely a whisper in the back of my consciousness:
Don’t stop!

There was someone in the shadows, watching me…I could feel him there, ready to attack. 

For one moment his eyes locked on mine—the dark blue that was almost black along the outer iris, and then grey as dirty ice around the pupil and just as cold.  Between us lay a thousand words—secrets, betrayals, desires.  I hesitated a moment too long, trying to find in him the man who’d broken down my walls once, if only to give him a proper goodbye.  That man had been an idea, manufactured for the express purpose of my manipulation.

I knew how this would end; we’d been here a thousand times before.  But this time was different.  I only had a few seconds…

I used them to burn a trail through the uncharted forest, pushing myself through the dark vegetation.  I understood nothing other than my desire to escape, keep myself alive and make her sacrifice worthwhile.  Everything lost meaning, except for my sister, whose face melted in with the hundreds I’d come to know in my lifetime. 

The trees were thick enough to eke out almost all of the slowly rising sunlight.  The ground was littered with fallen branches and piles of decaying leaves, choked by the impending autumn.  The obstacles meant I had to rely upon instinct to tell me where to place my feet, where to duck and jump and turn.  It was completely an aimless path, but I cared only to put enough distance between myself and him so that I could eventually slip away into the safety of daylight.   

Don’t look back
.  Was he still following me?  I couldn’t tell.  There was only the sound of blood coursing through my ears and my heart thudding against my ribs.  Each bounding step drained more of my energy, now that the initial rush of adrenaline was starting to wane.  Still, I ran for what felt like hours, ‘til my body went from heavy with ridiculous pain to awkwardly numb.  Lead weights had surely replaced my muscles; each breath I took was like a knife sliding between my ribs.  I slowed down, tripping over my own two feet, too exhausted to summon any more energy.  And then I looked back.

There were only trees behind me, and a path littered with broken branches and fallen leaves.  It was quiet, almost serene.  But he could be anywhere.

My brain flickered to autopilot as I stumbled along, listening for any sort of noise beyond the leaves crunching underfoot.  The full gravity of what I had just done was beginning to settle over me.  I had left the only place I’d ever known with nothing but the clothes on my back.  I had no food, no money, and worst of all, no direction.

What I did have, though, was hope.  The city had to be close—on occasion, Father would break his own law and go out into town in search of a new fascination to occupy his time.  He would lure humans from the shadowy city alleys and corners, tempting them with the promise of eternal life. 

Eternity had nothing to offer me.   As a kid it was easy to keep myself occupied.  I would color or paint the sprawling stone walls and watch the prospective candidates for immortality (glorified slaves) run around cleaning my messes.  I shadowed them, watching their every move and entertaining delusions that one day I would be like them, normal and limited and human.  But they were gone now, killed for trivial mistakes, or locked in the crypt for meals, or turned after proving to my father their worth. 

And though there was always a party to be found in one of the drafty rooms with booze and blood abounding, I still couldn’t be entertained. My brothers and sisters (all the people that my father had turned) would engage in frivolous activities like gossip, drinking games, and carnal affairs I tried not to give much thought to.  Those things seemed fun when I had barely been a teenager but as I’d grown, the world I’d been born into only grew darker as more of the workings of my cohabitants were revealed to me.  As my father’s only blood relative, I didn’t realize until around my thirteenth year that my special status didn’t make me royalty—it made me a target.

Being the center of their anger and jealousy had taught me to rely firstly on myself.  My mother died while I was young, and my father was anything but fatherly, so the concept had been instilled in me from a young age.  I’d thought for a long time that being alone was the worst thing that could happen to me, but Xian had proven to me that feeling alone in another’s company was infinitely worse.  I had more purpose out here, wandering aimlessly through the trees, than I’d ever felt at home.

Once my shallow breathing subsided, I realized I’d been ignoring the sounds of life that carried to me on the wind.  Though the thin band of sunlight that glimmered through the trees gave me hope, I was not out of the woods yet.  The city was near, but I had to keep going.

When I emerged through the thinning trees at last, it was both overwhelming and underwhelming, a sensory overload that I could only compare to the endorphin rush of being bitten.  I felt like a newborn child, frightened and excited by the sounds, the sights, even the smell, which was so unlike the earthy scent of the woods I'd just emerged from.

Opposite the stretch of forest where I stood was a cluster of buildings, some tall and others wide and squat.  They all had one thing in common: they were dark and dingy. A few windows in the taller building were crossed with wooden beams, the street below littered with trash.  My ears buzzed with the electrical current of a nearby streetlight.  The rain clouds that gathered in the sky only served to make them look more desolate.  It didn’t look like anybody’s safe haven, but it would have to do for now.

At the briefest break in traffic, I ran across the road, barely avoiding a car.  Its speed blew the tangled curls off my neck, and the sound of a horn blasted through my ears.  But the sound was swallowed by the laughter of a few old men standing in a ring, clutching onto mugs of coffee right out in front of a few massive trucks.  One of them turned to look at me, offering a small nod from under a faded ball cap.  I graced him with the smallest movement of my lips that could be considered a smile and moved past them toward the only building that showed any signs of life.

The smell of maple syrup drifted through the doors the moment I walked in.  Though it was still early, the little diner had its fair share of customers.  They all seemed innocuous enough—a couple with too many young children, a few men minding their own business at the counter, and an elderly pair who seemed incredibly chipper given the hour.

I staked out the room and made a beeline for the table in the furthest corner.  Sinking into the booth gave me an unexpected relief; my exhaustion made itself remembered.  I let my head fall into my hands, seeking a moment of peace.

A young woman with her hair pulled into a bun appeared at my side almost instantly.  “Coffee?”  She held up a pot of something dark and bitter smelling. 

“No, thank you.”

“Hot chocolate then?”  She offered brightly.  “It’s awful cold out for September.”  I detected the hint of a southern accent in her buttery voice.  It wasn’t a sound that I was used to.

“No, thanks, I’m fine.”

“Orange juice?”

I fixed her with that look my brothers and sisters say I should be infamous for, as if to ask if she were seriously going to keep trying.  But her smile caught me off guard, and so I bit back my sarcastic answer.  “How about water?” 

“Sure thing,” The waitress agreed, then turned and sashayed away. 

A scuffle across the room caught my attention, and I straightened a bit to see a young man backed against the wall, and another man before him with a fistful of plaid collar in his hand.  Yet, despite the circumstances, the man who was backed against the wall didn’t look scared…in fact, he looked amused.  They were too far for me to hear what was being said, but their conversation looked intense.

“Julius,” A voice informed me, and I turned to see the waitress at my side, watching the men in the corner.  Her eyes were alight with interest, but she seemed to realize that she was showing some sort of vulnerability, because she straightened and looked back at me. “He’s got a bit of ritual for staying out drunk ‘til morning and coming here to sober up.  He’s a bit of a troublemaker, for sure, but he’s good-looking.”

I made a noncommittal noise and took a sip of water, waiting for the girl to take her leave.  Instead, she slid onto the red vinyl bench across from me and propped her elbows up on the table, commanding my attention.  “I’m Larissa.”  She offered.

“Lilith,” I said warily. 

“That’s a unique name, ‘Lilith’.”  She paused, considering the sound of my name on her tongue.  I knew then that I should have lied.  “You should know, Lilith…”  She hesitated for a second, glancing around.  “You look out of place, sitting here by yourself.”

I arched an eyebrow, surprised by the shift from sweet and unassuming to blunt.  “I’m not from around here.”  I shrugged.

Larissa examined me with knowing eyes.  “I’m just gonna cut to the chase.  If you’re here for… work… you’d probably want to leave now.  Boss man ain’t so tolerant of that illegal stuff since he’s been on parole.”

“I’m… sorry…”  I knew what she meant, but I didn’t know what had made her say that.  I tried not to let her know the suggestion offended me, but it was unfounded.  “What?”