The Cat Ate My Gymsuit (11 page)

My mother laughed and said, “Thank you, Joel. I’m happy to have a chance to do my part.”

Phil said, “We’d better head in if we’re going to find a place to sit.”

“Why don’t you go in and save seats for the rest of us?” my mother suggested. “We’re still waiting for Mr. Sheridan.”

So Nancy, Phil, Joel, and I went inside.

Finding seats, we looked around. Joel asked me how everything was going.

“Not so good. The scene at my house tonight was horrible. You wouldn’t believe it.”

Joel looked at me. “I thought it might have been bad when I didn’t see him here tonight.”

The Sheridans and my mother joined us, so we stopped talking about it.

All of a sudden everyone in the auditorium started to turn around. Ms. Finney was arriving. With her were three people, two men and another woman. One was the man who had played guitar with her in class. The other two carried briefcases and looked official.

I was so nervous, I felt that I couldn’t breathe. But it was great to see Ms. Finney. She looked very tired, though.

They sat down in the front row in a special section. Then the Board of Education members came out and sat down at long tables in the front of the room. The school board president, Mr. Winston, pounded his gavel and said, “There will be no disruptions, nor will there be any cameras used. If these rules are not followed, this hearing will be closed.”

Then they began. First they had to talk about old business. The budget was discussed. Bus routes were argued about. Teachers’ salary negotiations were mentioned. Finally, after what seemed like hours, Mr. Winston said that it was time for the new business.

Everyone was absolutely quiet. Mr. Winston said that there were several items on his agenda to cover. I couldn’t believe it. They still weren’t going to get to Ms. Finney. My stomach was beginning to kill me.

They named teachers who were resigning, approved teachers who were replacing them; decided on when we would make up the days missed; and then Mr. Winston said, “We are now ready to begin discussing Miss Barbara Finney. I would like to remind everyone that this room must remain orderly.”

Mr. Stone got up to speak first. He said that Barbara Finney had been a problem since she got to the school; that she dressed strangely; that her teaching was not traditional, and that he never would have hired her if Mr. Edwards had not left suddenly. Miss Finney’s students, he continued, were rude to him and were getting wild. Moreover, as a veteran he found her not saying the Pledge of Allegiance an unpatriotic and misguided stand. He finished up by saying that he did not want her in his school anymore.

Several people cheered. Mr. Winston pounded his gavel and warned everyone to remain quiet. Then he called Ms. Finney up. He asked her to reply to Mr. Stone’s charges.

She stared straight ahead and began. “I don’t think it’s a crime to dress differently. I never dress immodestly at school, nor do I tell the students how to dress.

“As for teaching differently, that’s very true. I’m not at all ashamed of that. I’m hopefully teaching human beings to communicate with one another and to love and respect the English language. I try to do it in ways that will interest and excite students. Everyone complains that children can’t and don’t read. Well, my students are reading, and their writing has improved. Just check their records. The results are there. Isn’t that what’s important?”

She paused to catch her breath. Her voice got softer. “As for the Pledge of Allegiance, I choose not to say it. I salute the flag each morning as a symbol of what this country is supposed to be, but I can’t say the Pledge. I am sorry to have to say that I don’t believe this country offers liberty and justice for all. I will continue to work toward that end, but until I see
it happening, I will not say the Pledge. I am a good American. I care about the country and the people in it.”

Then she sat down.

We began to applaud. Mr. Winston pounded his gavel. “This is your last warning. One more outburst and I’ll clear this auditorium.”

He continued. “The Board has at its disposal independent evaluation reports on Miss Finney. They are satisfactory. Therefore, our decision will be based on Miss Finney’s refusal to say the Pledge. At this time, the Board will adjourn, and will return with its decision as soon as possible.”

The Board members got up and went into some meeting room.

Everybody else got up to stretch or go out for a smoke. Joel grabbed my hand and said, “Come on, Marcy. Let’s try to see Ms. Finney.”

We pushed through the crowd. Joel was good at getting by all those people. Finally we made it through the lobby, and outside Ms. Finney and her friends were standing near a curb, smoking cigarettes and talking to reporters. I was scared to go up to them, but Joel moved right in.

“Hi, Ms. Finney.”

She smiled. “Oh, hi, Joel, Marcy, how are you?”

I just nodded my head and started to cry.

She leaned over and put her hands on my shoulders.

“Marcy, it’s not easy, I know. But everything will work out all right.”

“Hey, Ms. Finney. Did you hear? We got suspended.”

She nodded her head. “So I heard. Your plans were very supportive. I appreciate that. But you know it’s necessary that you take responsibility for your actions. Are you sorry now that you’re suspended?”

I said, “It’s worth it.”

She smiled. “I’m glad. Hey, have you read any good books lately?”

Joel and I told her about the books that we were reading.

She looked at both of us and said, “I miss all of you very much.”

“We miss you too,” I said.

“I want all of you to understand that no matter what happens, I care about all of you and want you to do your best to learn.”

“Aw, Ms. Finney. Don’t worry. You’ll be back.” That was Joel.

Tears started to roll down her face. “Please. I want you to remember all the things I’ve taught you.”

I touched her arm. “I’ll remember. Don’t worry.”

She tried to smile. “Marcy. You’ve grown so much. I’m so proud of you.”

A lot of other kids were standing around, waiting to talk to her, so we said good-bye and walked back to our seats.

Joel and I talked about how we hoped that the Board would say that Ms. Finney should stay. We knew Joel’s father was for her, but didn’t know about the others.

My mother was sitting near us. She was talking to Mrs. Sheridan. Even though Mom looked tired, she seemed calmer than she’d been in a long time.

The Board members started to come back. So did everyone else, including Ms. Finney. Her face was streaked with tears.

Once everyone was seated, Mr. Winston started pounding the gavel again. He looked like a carpenter.

The room hushed. I had all of my fingers crossed.
I looked over at Joel. His eyes were closed; his fists clenched. I was having trouble breathing again, and my heart felt as if it was going to explode.

Mr. Winston stood up and held on to a piece of paper. He looked down at it and began reading. “There is no question in the Board’s mind that Miss Barbara Finney has a sincere desire to educate youth. It is also apparent that she has the support of many of the children in her class. We appreciate this, but also wish to state that the majority of the Board does not approve of her stand.” He paused and took a sip of water.

I started to cry. It was all over.

He continued. “Although we do not as a group approve, there is a legal precedent to support her stand. We therefore reinstate Barbara Finney to her position as a teacher in our school system.”

The room exploded. Everybody started screaming and yelling at once. Joel and I were jumping up and down. I looked over at my mother. She was yelling and clapping her hands. I couldn’t believe how happy I was. Everything was fantastic.

All of a sudden, people in the front started sitting down, and you could hear “Shh, shh.” I looked to the
front and saw Ms. Finney standing next to Mr. Winston, who was wildly pounding his gavel.

The room quieted down again. Mr. Winston said, “Miss Finney wishes to make an announcement.”

She stood there, looking very pale.

I thought, You tell them, Ms. Finney. Tell those fools off.

She looked very shaky, but then she sort of smiled and said, “I want to thank everyone who has supported me. I’ve tried to always be all that I tell my students to be. Therefore, I felt it necessary to follow through and take a stand concerning the Pledge. It was important to me that I win, but it is even more important that I can be an effective teacher. This community has been split on this issue so badly that I doubt that I can ever walk back into my classes and be effective. Therefore, I feel that I must resign, effective immediately.” Finishing, she turned and ran out of the room. Her friends followed.

I felt as if someone had hit me in the stomach. Stunned, I could feel the tears begin again.

I heard Joel. “That fink. That rotten fink. I hate her.”

I turned to him. He was crying. “I don’t believe it. Marcy, how can she do it? I trusted her.”

My mother called over, “Marcy. Joel. Please come here.” Mr. Anderson was with her.

“We want to take you both out for sodas and a talk.”

“I don’t want to go.”

“Me neither.”

My mother spoke in a voice that I’d never heard her use before. “Want to or not, you must listen to us. There’s no use in falling apart. That never solves anything. I’ve learned that.”

So the four of us said good-bye to the Sheridans and Phil and went to a diner.

Joel and I sat across from my mother and Mr. Anderson. Neither of us said anything.

My mother began. “I know how you both feel. It’s very hard for me to accept. But maybe she was right. It would have been very hard for her to stay.”

“True,” Mr. Anderson said. “It might have been impossible. You know everyone would be watching for her to make the slightest mistake.”

“Marcy, look at how much this whole situation has helped both of us grow,” my mother said.

I thought about that.

“I hate her,” Joel said. “How could she do it?”

Joel’s father put his hand on his son’s arm. “I know this is very hard for you. You trusted her and you feel that she’s left you . . .just like your mother did. That’s it, isn’t it?”

Joel nodded his head.

I looked at him and then at his father. How I wished my father could understand so much.

I thought about what Mr. Anderson had said and how Joel must feel. I reached out and touched him too. “Joel, remember when Ms. Finney said that we should continue to learn no matter what. That’s what we have to do. She cares about us. She just had to do what was best for her.”

I thought about what Ms. Finney had said about remembering what she taught us. “Hey, Joel. Remember that part in
To Kill a Mockingbird
where Atticus says to Jem that you can’t understand someone until you’ve walked around in his or her shoes for a while. That’s what you’ve got to do.”

Joel smiled. Ms. Finney had had us write about that, and Joel had written about Mr. Stone. He had said that if he walked around in Mr. Stone’s shoes he’d have a lot of blisters, because everything about Mr. Stone rubbed him the wrong way.

“Yeah. Maybe you’re right. I’m too tired to think anymore about this. I want to go home.”

So we all got up and left. Once I got home, I went right up to bed. There was no way I could deal with anything else.

I
t’s been a month since the hearing, and a lot of things have happened.

My mother is registering for night courses at a nearby college. And she doesn’t give me ice cream whenever I get upset.

Joel and I are very close. It’s not a romance, but it’s a good friendship. You have to start someplace.

I no longer think I’m a blimp. Now I think I’m a helium balloon.

I still hate my father. He hardly ever says anything to me anymore. He and my mother talk a lot, but he just looks at me and shakes his head.

I’m flunking gym for the year. Our new English teacher is giving us a test on dangling participles.

I still see Mr. Stone in the hall. I’d throw up on his head if I were tall enough.

Stuart still has a thing about Wolf. Now he’s refusing to go to nursery school unless Wolf also gets registered as a student. I can see it all now. When Stuart graduates from high school, he’ll probably have Wolf right beside him. They’ll award Wolf a diploma and he’ll be elected “Bear Most Likely to Succeed.”

I’m going to a psychologist. She’s very nice, and she’s helping me. It’s different from Smedley, but I think I’m learning a lot.

Joel’s father said that he heard that Ms. Finney was going to graduate school to get a doctorate in something called bibliotherapy. That’s counseling using books and writing. That sounds good. Maybe someday I’ll do something like that.

Yesterday I looked in the mirror and saw a pimple. Its name is Agnes.

Text copyright © 1980 by Paula Danziger

I
f I iron or sew one more name tag on my stuff, I’m going to scream. There are name tags on my jeans, shorts, shirts, nightgowns, pajamas, sheets, pillowcases, sleeping bag, socks, sweaters, sweat shirts, underwear, and jackets. My mother’s having me put adhesive-tape labels on my comb, brush, and flashlight. There’s indelible ink on my fingers from putting my name on my sneakers. She’ll probably make me carve my name in the soap bars and on my eyeglass frames.