The Captive Heart (11 page)

His arm reached out to clamp about her waist and he drew her to him. “Give me a little kiss for luck, sweet lass,” he said to her. His other hand fumbled at her breast.

“My lord! Udolf!” Alix cried softly. “This behavior is most inappropriate. Let me go at once! Ohh, how can you shame me like this?” she protested to him.

“Forgive me, sweet lass,” he said, but he did not release his hold upon her, and he could not resist giving her small round breast a little squeeze before he took his hand away. “From the moment I realized you were to be mine, I grew as eager as a lad with his first love,” he admitted. “The thought that you will be my wife has made me alive again! My son was a fool, Alix. You are fair to gaze upon. You are sweet-natured. I am a man long grown, but I cannot seem to resist you. I do not know how I will wait the winter long to possess you.” And then he kissed her mouth.

It was not an unpleasant kiss. More eager and excited. Indeed, almost boyish and sweet. Nothing at all like that first cruel kiss she had received from Hayle. Alix gasped, surprised, and pulled away from him. “Shame, my lord!”

“I will not apologize,” he said almost defiantly, but he made no further move to touch her. “I will be a good husband to you. And I mean to kiss you and court you the winter through, sweet lass. You might as well know it now and be accepting.”

Alix let a little smile touch her lips. She couldn’t help it. Then she grew serious. “You must respect me, my lord,” she told him sternly, “even as I respect you.” Then she curtsied to him prettily. “Good hunting, Udolf.”

He nodded. “Thank you, my lady love,” he replied as politely. “I will see you upon my return, and prepare to be kissed then.”

Alix hurried from the hall. Aye, it was time to go before the baron’s newly discovered romantic nature aroused itself any further. Once a man’s lust was engaged, he could not be stopped until he had attained his goal. She had seen that happen at court, and it seemed to be the same wherever men and women went. He was a good man, but she could not wed him. She did not want to ever wed again. But what would she do? She could not remain in England. The baron might come after her, and a man’s word was always taken over a woman’s. And as part of the queen’s entourage her entire life until recently, she could be considered a traitor. She had overheard those who remained with King Henry until almost the end talking about how to save themselves and their families. Alix knew that association was often enough cause for guilt. No. She must leave England. She must go north, as the queen had done, into Scotland.

And what will you do in Scotland
? the voice in her head asked her. That was a fair question, but also a conundrum. Perhaps she might seek out the widowed Scots queen, Marie of Gueldres, and ask for a place in her household. She would tell that queen her history, and say Margaret of Anjou no longer had a place for her now that she was widowed. Certainly the Scots queen would take pity on her. She had skills to offer. She was good with children. She had certain medical knowledge learned from her father that could make her useful. Aye! That is what she would do. She would make her way to wherever the Scots court was currently residing.

Alix prepared the soft chamois pouch her mother had always carried when the court traveled. At its bottom she lay her father’s few surgical instruments and several small containers of medicinals that she had made along with some bags of herbs. Sadly, she could not take her violet damask silk gown with her. She would wear one of her jersey gowns. The other she folded and put into the bottom of the pouch along with her camises, and two night garments. A smaller silk pouch held her few bits of jewelry. She stuffed it at the bottom of the larger bag amid the folds of her gown. She would leave the sollerets, she decided, as she laid her leather house slippers atop her camises. They would only add weight to the pouch, and as long as she had her boots on her feet and her slippers, she could manage. She took two pairs of knitted stockings and stuffed them into the sack. Then, bathing her face and hands and brushing her long hair, Alix went to her bed. Who knew how long it would be before she slept in a clean soft bed again? Whispering her prayers, she asked God to protect her.

It was her habit to always wake early. Arising, she dressed quickly in two camises, one of lawn and the other of flannel. She pulled a pair of woolen stockings onto her feet along with her worn leather boots and drew her brown jersey dress over her slender form. Sitting upon the edge of her bed in the half-dark, half-gray light before the dawn, Alix braided her long hair into a thick plait. Then, lifting the strap of her pouch, she put it over her head to rest against one side of her body. Picking up her heavy wool cloak with its fur-edged hood and her gloves, Alix slipped from her chamber.

The house was completely silent. She knew that very shortly one of the servants would come to start the fires for the day. The cook would arrive in the kitchen to begin his preparations for the day. Alix hurried downstairs, and slipping into the pantry near the kitchen, took a loaf of day-old bread and a wedge of cheese. She tucked them into the top of her pouch and then filled the small stone flask she carried with watered wine. She listened, but the quiet was still deep as she crept quietly towards the kitchen door, which was rarely barred, even at night. It opened as her hand touched the latch. She quickly hurried outside and looked about her, but there was no one in her view.

If she took her horse from the stables they would know that she was gone. Reluctantly, Alix set off walking, hurrying away from the house as fast as she could. The sky was getting a little lighter with each passing minute. She didn’t look back for fear she would see someone. Alix followed the track that led north. The very same one the queen had taken. She prayed that Sir Udolf would not come this way with his hunting party, but if she heard horses she would hide herself in a ditch. Then she laughed softly to herself. The lord of Wulfborn would go across the fields. He would not come upon the road that wound its way north. To her surprise, a weak sun rose as she walked. It was cold, but not unbearably so for November. There was little wind at all and it was at her back, coming from the southwest.

Alix walked for several hours and then suddenly realized that she was hungry and thirsty. Stopping, she sat herself in the grass on the side of the road. Reaching into the pouch beneath her cloak, she pulled a piece of bread from her loaf and bit off a large chunk of cheese from the wedge. She ate slowly, and when she had finished she opened the flask and drank several swallows. She would remember to add water to the flask when she came to a stream. She had already crossed one narrow little brook this morning, stepping from stone to stone to keep her feet dry.

Arising, she started on her way again. The track she was traversing was getting narrower and narrower, becoming more difficult to follow, but she trudged on, watching the feeble sun as she moved to keep her direction correct. The sun was already beginning to lower itself towards the horizon by early afternoon. It was almost winter, and the days were shorter now than at any other time of the year.

As she traveled Alix began to look about for a spot in which she might shelter for the night. She hadn’t seen a living soul the day long, although once she had seen an antlered stag on a nearby hill. And then, as the sun was almost ready to set, she spied what appeared to be the remnants of a stone wall. Or perhaps, she considered, it was a cairn raised in memory of some long-dead warrior. She stopped and, looking about, decided it would be as good a place as any to spend the night, especially as the sun now sank behind the horizon. Clearing some stones to make a place for herself, Alix sat down.

About her the silence hung heavily. What had she done? she asked herself. She was in the middle of nowhere, and night was upon her. She had no means to start a fire, and there obviously wasn’t a living soul, man or beast, for miles. Reaching into her bag, she tore off a chunk of her bread and bit off another bit of cheese. She ate slowly as the sunset faded and the night closed in about her. She didn’t even know where she was. Had she already crossed the border into Scotland? The light breeze of the day had gone, and above her the skies were cloudy. Not a star shown in the dull firmament.

It was cold, but not unbearably so. Alix pulled her cloak close about her, drawing the hood tightly about her face. She began to pray. She would either survive the night or she wouldn’t, but anything was better than being forced into marriage again. And with a man old enough to be her father. A man with a bald pate. Sir Udolf’s son had been a lustful man, although his lust was not directed towards his wife. Last night she had seen where that lust had come from, for the father was equally, if not more, lustful. Alix had not a doubt he would have been in her bed before the week was out. And he would justify it because he was meant to marry her. She would have had a big belly at her wedding, and she was certain Sir Udolf would have been delighted.

Drawing her legs up, she tucked her skirts about her and put her gloved hands under her armpits for more warmth. Her back against the stones, Alix fell asleep, and she slept for several hours before awakening briefly only to sleep again. When she opened her eyes again the gray half-light was lightening the skies. Arising, she moved stiffly away from her sleeping spot to pee, lifting her skirts high so as not to splash them. The morning air was cold on her buttocks. Then, sitting back down again, she ate more bread and cheese and drank a few more swallows of the watered wine, now more water than grape.

Finally she arose, and she began to walk again. She passed several more piles of stones and decided that she surely must be in Scotland by now. As the morning wore on, the skies above her grew gray, and the wind began to rise, coming from the north. By late morning a light snow had begun to fall, and Alix knew if she did not find serious shelter and some warmth she could be in trouble. But the countryside about her seemed as deserted as it had been yesterday. Alix didn’t dare stop to eat. She simply kept walking. The path was virtually obscured now. She couldn’t be certain which way she was going. The wind began to rise and the snow grew heavier.

Alix hunched down into her cloak, pulling it closely about her. Her hands were cold despite her fur-lined gloves. Her feet were icy in her wool stockings. It was growing darker with each passing minute. There wasn’t a bit of shelter in sight. And then ahead of her she saw what appeared to be large mounds in the heath. Approaching them carefully she found herself walking among a herd of great horned shaggy cattle. There had to be at least two dozen of them, legs folded beneath them, settled down to ride out the storm. Their hides were already well dusted with snow.

She could go no farther. For a moment Alix stood stock-still. This was the end. She was going to die. She would freeze to death out here in the borders. Her legs gave way and she slipped to the grass half wedged between two of the great shaggy dark beasts. Laying her head against one, she began to weep softly, and then suddenly it dawned upon her that she felt warmer. The two creatures were sheltering her with their big bodies. Alix pushed herself firmly between the two cattle. Aye! She was warmer. Warm enough to perhaps survive the long night ahead. She lowered her head and pulled her hood up as far as she could. The creatures made no protest, and their quiet, even breathing shortly lulled her into a deep sleep. If she died, Alix thought, she would be with her mother and father again. And she would not have to wed Sir Udolf. Despite her circumstances, it was a very comforting thought. And if she survived this night it would be a sign that she was not meant to marry Sir Udolf. She would never marry again, Alix decided. She would never again be at any man’s mercy.

“
D
a! Come quick!” the young herdsman called to his father. “Over here!” The two border collies with him were barking wildly and dancing about.

The Laird of Dunglais’s head herder, one Jock by name, moved across the field in the early dusk of the morning. The wind had thankfully died, and while a light snow still fell, the worst of it, he thought, was over. Now all he wanted to do was to get his master’s cattle out of the weather on the moor, away from predators and nearer home. They were the last of the herd in the summer pastures, and had been caught by the sudden unexpected weather, but fortunately it hadn’t been a bad storm. “What is it, Robbie?” he asked his son as he joined the younger man.

“Look!” Robbie pointed to the still figure between two shaggy beasts.

“Jesu! Mary!” Jock exclaimed. “ ’Tis a lass.” So small and delicate a form could be nothing else, he realized. He bent and brushed the snow from the girl’s cloak. “Are ye alive, lassie?” he inquired, shaking her gently.

She moaned faintly, but did not move.

“The poor creature was probably caught in the storm,” Jock said. “We must get her back to the shelter. Can you carry her, Robbie? I’ll want to get the cattle up and moving. This snowfall will continue for a few more hours though ’tis light now. Here, Shep, here, Laddie,” he called to the two dogs. “We have work to do.”

His son nodded and, pulling Alix up, he took her into his arms and walked off. Behind him his father and the two border collies began to rouse the cattle from their comfortable positions in the heath. It was over a mile to the small shelter on the moor, but Robbie walked doggedly along, carrying Alix as if she were a child. She did not stir, and were it not for her faint breathing, he would have feared her dead. It was a miracle she had survived her night on the moors, but then huddled between the two big cattle she had been saved from freezing. Still, the poor thing was cold.

Reaching the small shelter, he kicked the door open with his foot and laid the girl down on the single cot there, covering her with the sheepskin. Then he stirred the embers of the fire that had burned through the night, coaxing it alive once again. He added more wood from the store near the hearth. He and his father had come to fetch the cattle when the storm had caught them. Arriving at the little hut, they had sheltered for the night. Even inside with a fire it had been cold. The fact the girl was alive at all was a miracle. Swinging the iron arm from which a kettle hung, he added a bit of whiskey from his flask to the water in it and warmed it over the fire.