The Calling (11 page)

“I want to get back together.”

She stilled, not sure she’d heard him right. “Say what?”

“If you still have the ring I gave you, I want you to wear it again.”

“You can’t be serious.”

“I still love you.”

“Have you lost your mind?”

“I want another chance.”

Mandy stood in stunned silence. How many times had she fantasized about this moment? In detail, she’d played out this scene over and over again—Ty groveling at her feet, telling her he’d made a mistake. She’d always taken him back in her fantasy, and they’d lived happily ever after, but now that it was happening, the scorned woman inside of her exploded. “You fucking asshole!”

Ty bolted from the couch, his massive body lurching toward her. In two long strides, he stood in front of her, his eyes begging for forgiveness, his expression hurt and scared and determined. “Let me explain.” His hands wrapped around her wrists, and he tugged her toward the couch.

She’d be damned if she let him lead her around like a dog. With a swing of her arms, she twisted out of his grip. “Sit!” she demanded. After months of sulking in the shadows over his betrayal, it was her turn to be heard.

Ty slunk back, the back of his knees hitting the couch, his body collapsing onto it. Whatever she was going to dish out, he seemed more than willing to take it.

Mandy paced in front of him, opening and closing her fists. “You left me during the most vulnerable time of my life.”

“I know.”

“Shut up!”

He clamped his mouth closed and stared at her, his expression miserable.

“The pain from the mastectomy was nothing compared to the pain you inflicted on me. You asked me to marry you, to have your children, and when my life took a turn for the worse, you ran like a bat out of hell!” She pivoted, staring him dead in the eye. “I never would have done that to you, because I actually loved you. Now, get out!”

“I’m not leaving until you listen to me.”

“Yes. You. Are. If you don’t, I’ll call the police to remove you.”

“I didn’t leave for the reasons you think.”

“You mean, because you didn’t want to deal with my sickness?” She inched toward him, her muscles rigid as stone. “You mean, you didn’t leave because I’d be mutilated after the surgery? Because I couldn’t screw you for six months during the chemo? That’s not why you left, you selfish bastard?”

Ty pounded his fist on the armrest. “Listen to me!”

Mandy took a deep breath, fighting back tears. “Give me one good reason why I should.”

“My dad… he died of lung cancer when I was a kid because he smoked three packs a day. By the time he turned forty, he could hardly breathe. I watched him die.” His voice broke. “I couldn’t watch you die, too.”

“Your mom said he died of a stroke,” she whispered, barely able to get out the words.

Ty shook his head. “No. He had three strokes while he was fighting the cancer because his arteries were as hard as rocks from smoking, but he died from the cancer.” His eyes glistened with moisture. “I thought you were going to die, Mandy. I couldn’t bear to watch, not after my dad.”

She fell to the loveseat, unable to wrap her mind around his words. They completely contradicted everything she’d believed to be true about Ty. He’d left her because he was selfish, plain and simple. It was a mantra she’d chanted every night for half a year to convince herself she was better off without him.

“I don’t understand,” she whispered.

Ty crossed the living room, and the loveseat jostled as he sat beside her. When he took her hand in his, she wanted to protest, but didn’t.

“I never stopped loving you,” Ty said, the fear in his gray eyes churning like storm clouds. With a light caress, he rubbed his thumb back and forth over the inside of her wrist.

She’d always considered herself good at reading people’s true personalities. And everybody had a beautiful stone facade adorning their frontages, like Roman pillars standing guard against the mansion of a good heart, or beautiful green ivy growing over the rotting shack of an evil soul. It both protected and tricked those who came close. Ty’s veneer had been proud and even arrogant when she’d met him, but he lived to serve others through his job, much the way Mandy lived to serve children as a nurse. When they’d been together, she’d always considered his cocky veneer the covering of a good heart, a selfless soul.

After their breakup, she’d learned she was wrong about him. He’d turned out to be self-centered and heartless, and because of that, she no longer trusted her ability to read people–even Justin. But what if Ty was a good man? What if her first impression of him was dead on and his breaking off the engagement hadn’t been due to selfishness?

“Your dad. Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because I didn’t know why I was so scared. I just knew that every time I was around you, I felt like a tiger in a five-foot cage. I couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think, couldn’t handle what was happening to you.”

A tear trailed down her cheek, and she was pissed as hell that she was crying over him yet again. “You told me you didn’t love me anymore.”

“I lied to you… to myself. I thought I could live without you, but I can’t.”

“I can’t risk you hurting me again.”

“I wouldn’t.”

“If the cancer came back, you’d run.”

He shook his head. “No, never again.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“I don’t expect you to. Not yet, anyway.” He placed his finger under her chin, the blunt tip of his nail pressing gently against her skin, and lifted her gaze to his. “Answer me one thing, and I’ll leave.”

“What?”

“Do you still have feelings for me?”

She wanted tell him he meant nothing to her, but she knew Ty already had the answer to his question the moment she’d let him into her house. As much as she wanted to pretend she felt nothing for the man next to her, it was a lie. She steeled her nerves and nodded.

“Then, I’ll get you back. Somehow, I’ll prove that I deserve you.” He leaned in, and his warm lips brushed a tear from her cheek.

Her desire to touch him, feel his body against hers, made her tremble. She hated her weakness, wanted it gone, wanted
him
gone, too. “You should leave.”

Without protest, he nodded and stood slowly, his tall form taking on its full height. Her limbs were weak, her knees wobbly, but she forced herself to her feet and followed him to the door.

Before he walked out, he peered over his shoulder. “Better clean your diamond ring. You’ll be wearing it again soon.”

“I wouldn’t count on it,” she said, trying to regain a semblance of control and defiance. Before Ty could say something to change her mind, she forcefully shut the door behind him, the slamming noise rattling her nerves. If he knocked, she wasn’t opening it. In the silence that stretched out for an eternity, she finally heard his footsteps head down the stairs. Not until he revved his engine did she allow herself to relax. With her back pressed to the cool metal of the door, she slid to the floor.

Her head spun, as if she were falling down a rabbit hole, bouncing off tree roots and rocks as she plummeted. The room tilted, and she lowered her body to the linoleum. Ty had hurt her, more than any surgery or cancer or dance with death ever could. No matter his reasons, he’d betrayed her. As the cool tile pressed against her cheek, she made a vow that, no matter what lay ahead for her, she would not allow him back in her life.

She raised her eyes to the ceiling, brushed the tears from her cheeks, and silently prayed she’d have the strength to keep her promise.

* * *

Justin wiped his sweaty palms on his slacks before knocking on Mandy’s front door. He’d never been so anxious before a date, but he’d imagined this moment for three years. He finally had a shot with her, and he was positive he’d find some way to screw it up.
Just treat her the same way you did when you were friends
, he reminded himself.

Mandy opened the door. “Hi, Justin.”

The way she looked at him contained a hint of apprehension, but the observation was lost as soon as he got an eyeful of her outfit. She wore a black spaghetti-strap dress that hit just above her knees. Her curvy calves led his eyes down to a pair of red open-toed pumps.

“Nice shoes.”

She turned to the side and kicked her foot back, the heel nearly hitting her round bottom. “I haven’t worn stilettos in a year.”

“That’s a damn shame.” He forced his gaze from her legs, up to her swanlike neck to her cherry-red lips, then to her sparking blue eyes. She had to be the most attractive woman on the planet. “You realize I’m going to need a firearm to keep the guys at the restaurant from hounding you, right?”

She chuckled. “I think a water gun would work fine.”

He scanned her up and down again, and his blood stirred in all the right places. “Nope, I’ll need the promise of death behind my threat.” He winked. “As good as you look, they might risk a mortal wound anyway.”

She blushed as red as her high heels. “Do you always lay the charm on this thick?”

“No one else is worthy.” He held out his arm, waiting for her to take it. “Shall we?”

Mandy slung her purse strap over her shoulder. “We shall.” She wrapped her graceful fingers around his elbow.

Damn, he could get used to parading this little lady around town.

Three hours later, they still sat in the Italian restaurant where they’d eaten dinner, even though the plates had been cleared an hour earlier. Waiters bustled by, and hostesses guided patrons to their seats, but they were nothing more than background noise to the main show—Mandy.

He asked her questions about nursing, her sister, her friends, anything to hear her sweet voice. While she talked about Emma, he watched a loose ringlet of blond hair graze her cheek. He wanted to reach out and tuck the lock behind her ear, but he feared she’d find the gesture too intimate. He nursed his beer instead and imagined the day when she’d let him touch every inch of her.

“You never talk about your family,” she said.

He blinked a few times, trying to push the picture of Mandy’s naked body out of his mind. He cleared his throat. “What do you want to know?”

“Where does your dad live?”

He knew the topic of his family would come up sooner or later, though he had been hoping for later. “Galveston.”

“And your mom’s at a hospital there?”

“Yep. She’s been there since I was ten.” He knew he should elaborate, but he was so used to avoiding questions about his mother, he couldn’t find the words.

Seeming undeterred by his brief answers, Mandy asked, “Will she ever be released?”

“Not likely.”

She leaned forward with an intent expression. “Why not?”

Justin slugged a big gulp of beer as he grappled with the easiest way to explain his mother’s situation without scaring Mandy. He swallowed, and said, “After my sister died, she lost touch with reality.”

“Dementia?”

He nodded, though that wasn’t the whole truth.

Mandy’s voice softened. “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t realize.”

Justin shrugged. “That’s why I don’t talk about my parents much. My mom’s institutionalized, and my dad pawned me off on family after she was committed.” There, he’d revealed his past. Well, part of it. Eventually, she had to learn everything about him, including things no one but his dad knew. The thought made him want to shut down, but he wouldn’t, not with her. He’d waited too long for a woman like Mandy.

* * *

Mandy sensed Justin’s tension; though she wanted to ask how his sister had died, she swallowed the words, deciding it was better to stick with less painful memories. ”Who raised you?”

“My grandparents until I turned fourteen, and then my Aunt Grace.”

Good lord, in four years, he’d lived in three homes. Mandy’s dinner suddenly sat heavier in her stomach. “They treated you well?”

“Aunt Grace drives down from Houston once a month just to bring me a homemade apple pie.”

Mandy chuckled. “She loves you.”

“Yes, she does.”

“Good.” He deserved to be loved.

After a few seconds of silence, she glanced at her watch and was surprised by how much time had passed. “You realize the movie started an hour ago.”

He raised an eyebrow. “What’s your point?”

“Nothing, I’m just sayin’.”

“You in a hurry to leave?”

She swirled the red wine in her glass, sending the rich scent of clove and cherries wafting through the air. “Not at all.”

Mandy scooted down in the booth, slipped off her shoes, and stretched her toes. With Justin for a dinner companion, she could stay there all night. In fact, she was so relaxed that sometime during the evening, Ty had become a distant memory, which was odd, given that he’d taken up a large space in her brain since his visit. Well, dang, she was thinking about him again, but more with curiosity than confusion, probably because she’d resolved never to get back with him no matter how much he begged.