The Butterfly Garden (2 page)

Going to the front of the yacht, I took my expensive heels off and threw myself into the dark night with my eyes closed and my arms open, touching the cold water with my whole body freezing for a brief moment.

Resurfacing, I breathe in pain and my uncontrollable tears mix with the salty water, with my vision blurred I started swimming immediately in direction to a blink light from a light tower, which I could manage to see with difficulty between my tears.

At least that’s what I thought, but I only realized I was swimming in direction to a huge station data buoy, when I arrived. Clearly Edward had given me wrong direction to find land in the dark, and soon I realized he really wanted me to drawn in this dark water. I arrived at the buoy at cost, and grab it with all my left strengths, I was so tired and land was much far away I initially thought.

Now I didn’t felt cold anymore, the water was now bearable, I stopped for a while at the buoy to gain forces and continue my mission, swimming direction land. Still grabbing the buoy to rest, I managed to rip my dress to the knee, to swim with more ease after.

Minutes after I continue, although I was still tired, freezing was starting to take over my body, and I needed to swim faster to avoid hypothermia. I swam for about one hour and land was now near, now I was swimming slowly, I was so tired, but I managed finally reaching a sandy beach between high rocks.

I was so exhausted, when I tried to get up on the beach and start walking, my legs didn’t react. Dragging myself in what I thought to be a safe place to rest for a couples hours and continue my way.

Still wet I tried to protect myself under the rocks, giving me a little bit of protection from the airy night. I was completely exhausted and asked myself before I fall asleep from fatigue:

How shall I continue from here? Where do I go from here?

Officially I am disappeared and soon I will be dead and I have nowhere to go anymore. I don’t have any documents, nor I could use my identification anymore and I don’t have any money at all.

Oh my God what will I do?

I fall asleep with so many questions in my head and no answers.

Hours after when I woke up, I was freezing and my dress was still a little bit wet, opening my eyes for the very first seconds I didn’t know where I was and while I was trying to wake up, I thought I had the biggest nightmare in my life.

But it took only a few minutes to realize I didn’t know where I was and that I was living my nightmare.

Ohhh I had no idea the hell I was in….my nightmare hadn’t even started.

With a few hours rested, although I didn’t sleep in the most comfortable place, I was able to walk again into the unknown.

I was alone, and didn’t know the place I was and at this point I didn’t really care. I walked for a minutes and I found a road, I still didn’t know where I was but I didn’t care. I didn’t lose time and started walking along the road, after some time my bear feet started hurting.

Almost two hours had gone, cars and trucks passed by me. One truck driver slowed down and asked me where I was going and if I needed a lift.

At first I was so embarrassed I didn’t talked to the man, but then I remembered he could help me get away quicker from that place, as I needed to be as far as possible from my family.

“I… I just need to go far away from here”

“That’s where I am going…far away”

The man replied from the inside of the truck.

“Do you need a lift?”

The man insisted.

Giving a few seconds to my brain and decide what to do, I said:

“Yes please, take me out of here, as far as possible”

“Done” He said.

The truck driver hit of the road, he started asking questions, which I avoided at all cost forcing me to make up a convincing story to put out of his curiosity.

“Well, if you insist on knowing, I ran away from home because of my husband, he tried to kill me. That’s why I need to run as far as possible”

It was half of the truth anyway.

“I am sorry to hear that”

The man sound genuinely sorry for me. Noticing I was freezing and was still in this humid unrecognizable clothe which had been an expensive night gown the night before, but now was just a rag. And he said:

“I think I still have some clothes in a small bag from my ex-wife, she left somewhere back here, you can grab and use it if you want” Pointing to his back where he had things laying around.

I looked to the back of his seat and saw a complete mess, before I could say anything, and I wondered if I wanted to wear someone’s clothes, everything looked so filthy inside the cabin. But now I didn’t had a thing and I was freezing and changing clothes was all I needed right now.

After a couple of minutes trying to convince my brain looking for that bag, my body reacted and I started looking for the bag on my knees. When I was searching for it, I noticed the driver’s looking at me obliquely, making me feel uncomfortable and for the first time I realize it was a mistake to take a lift with a stranger.

I was definitely putting my life at risk.

As soon I found what I was looking for, I got back to my seat, opening the bag to look what was inside, and there was a dress, cotton coat and a pair of flats. It was everything I needed right now to get dry and comfortable.

“Are you sure it’s okay if you give me all these clothes?”

I needed to certify myself of it.

“Please keep everything. You can change here if you want.”

“Thanks, but I will wait for the next gas station and I’ll change there.”

We keep in silence most of the trip and a couple hours later he stops in a gas station. Without giving him any type of chance I went off the truck and thanked him from the station, informing him I wouldn’t continue the journey, because I would decide to stay there for a while.

He was confused, I think he was convinced I would continue with him for a while on the road, I would continue but I need to get away because he gives me always a creepy look that I can’t stand it.

So I decided to go my own way from the gas station. Going straight to the toilet and change my clothes.

Inside the small and dark toilet I saw a figure on the old and broken mirror, in the first seconds I didn’t recognized myself, I looked so different, so pale, without make-up and with a tousled hair I looked like a homeless. Shocked with that sight, I take my hands to my mouth to muffle my urgency to cry.

I cried alone in that toilet shocked with the view on the mirror and because I stopped for a moment and remembered again that I lost my son, my family, and my life. I gave up everything, would it be worth it? I just hope it will.

My God, what will I do? How will I survive? Where will I live?  

And while my thoughts were in a whirlwind I kept looking my new look and exactly the way I was looking, was the way I was feeling inside.

I was completely lost without a place to go, I saw through the mirror I still had my diamond earrings Edward forgot to take them. I looked at my arm and I still had the bracelet.

Suddenly I had an idea, I need to sell the diamonds, and they would give me money enough until I could find a job and somehow continue living in the shadow as if I was dead.

Now I fear for my future, was I blind the night before when Edward said faking my own dead was the only way out? I am trying to think clearly now, and I have my doubts. Was it really the only way out or was Edward convincing me it was? I guess, I will never know, but to protect my son I gave up my life and I would do it again.

After trying to clean myself with cold water, I dried out with toilet paper and put on clean and cheap clothes on, they were a little oversized but it didn’t bother me, the pair of flats fit comfy enough to walk. In the bag I find a brush and around it, there was a small rubber for the hair. I rearranged my hair from the salty water and picked it up in a ponytail.

Putting what’s left from the night dress in the small bag and my diamond earrings wrapped carefully in toilet paper.

Looking for one last time at that fogged mirror, I saw a poor woman with a miserable face. No wonder, I was simply devastated.

I opened the door slowly, giving a shy picking if the truck was still outside, but he was already gone. With relief, I breathe deeply and entered into the gas station shop to ask if there was a town nearby. In the shop I got to know that there was a town nearby, I could walk for about one hour and would be there, I would reach this town during the afternoon and could find a pawn shop or any other store where I could sell the diamonds.

About one hour later, I was in a busy city with skyscrapers and lines of cars waiting for the green street lights to move. I didn’t know the name of the town and I didn’t care. How crazy was that, in one minute I was in an empty road and suddenly this huge rush all over the place.

Getting all my strength together, I manage finding a gold store, but when I tried to sell my diamonds I needed to give my personal details, as I didn’t had any I was forced to leave the store without doing business. I couldn’t believe, I needed to identify myself to sell my own diamonds. Desolated without knowing if I would sleep again on the open night as a homeless, I was lost in every ways more than ever.

Walking along the street, soon would be dark and I still had no place to overnight, my stomach was giving signs, but in reality I wasn’t hungry at all, I think I can’t eat anymore.

It was dark enough to be scary in an unknown city, now I was walking in a modest neighborhood with small houses, with gardens on the front.

*****

Stopping in front of one house with a garden that remembers my own, in a small size of course, but the garden had these stunning roses like the ones I had once.

I needed a place to stay, but I couldn’t go inside a place that wasn’t mine. So the only solution was looking for a house where I could stay outside in the garden, and this house with a small garden, beautifully cared with so many types of flowers and a high green fence, was enough to protect me of being seen from the street.

I searched for a small space of grass where I could sleep, and suddenly I felt so tired that I needed to rest for a little bit.

Tired I seat on the grass and I evaluate the surroundings, the house looked as if no one was there, so I lay down on the grass next to the fence putting my head on top of the small bag I was carrying and I fall asleep instantaneity.

When I woke up, it took a little bit to open my eyes because of the bright day, I looked around to see if there was someone watching and certified myself if my bag was still there, relieved, it was everything in place. With my body stiffed from the hard bed, I sit in the grass and saw right above my head a few butterflies, it was spring and they were all over the place. I enjoyed the view, these small species were absolutely beautiful and I dreamt for a moment I was in my garden.

After I few minutes I get up and about to leave, when I noticed someone was watching me from the inside of the house, the door opens and an old lady walked in my direction.

I didn’t know if I should run or stay, I didn’t know if I was a lady or a homeless, I didn’t know what I was anymore.

The old lady stopped and held me a wrapped sandwich and said:

“I saw you sleeping in my garden, please don’t break my flower, I love them, here is a sandwich for your journey.”

Without giving me time to explain myself, she returns to her house.

“I won’t, your flowers are absolutely magnificent, and thank you for the sandwich.”

I manage to say while she was already opening the door. She looked back, smiled and walked in.

I was looking the sandwich in my hand, I haven’t eaten for almost 2 days and my body is giving signs of weakness, I know, I need to eat something, but I just can’t. My wish is to be death for real, I feel so miserable, I miss my son, my husband and my life, how easy and perfect it was and know I am in a living nightmare.

Back on the street with nowhere to go, I eat at cost half of the sandwich and stuck the rest in the small bag for later.

At the end of the street of these small houses neighborhood, there was a long street with lots of small stores, I kept walking and found in an alley next to the stores a Hostel. I got in the old building with cheap furniture inside, but I didn’t care and asked for the price, it was cheap, but I still had no money, so I asked the receptionist that seemed to be the owner where could I sell a gold ring without identification to pay for the room.

“There is a store nearby where you can sell without identification, but you need to be very careful because you can be scammed easily, if you get in to the wrong store.”

“Thank you so much, which store is it?”

“I am only helping you because I only receive cash and I don’t need identification too, my place is the only one with these conditions around, you will be back and we both will win.”

The receptionist said, visibly eager to rent another lousy room, giving the exact location of the store.

I found the store with ease, entered and asked if they were able to buy from me diamonds without documents, behind the counter was a large man with thick glasses, he said I should enter to the backroom. I did a little bit afraid and he said I could seat down, after he analyzed me carefully he said with caution:

“Who indicate my store to sell diamonds?”

“The receptionist from the hostel just around the corner”

I said hopping the guy could buy the earrings at once. I was so eager to sleep in a real bed again and taking a long shower.

“I see”

The large man said:

“Can I see the diamonds?”

“Do you buy diamonds without identification or not?”

I insisted before I saw him anything.

“Yes, I buy diamonds and we can pass over that small issue you have, because I understand how life sometimes can be difficult for people and especially for women.”

The man assured.

I took from the small bag the piece of toilet paper, unwrap it slowly, showing finally my diamond earrings, leaving the bracelet in the bag.

He lean at me to see my earrings and asked if he could hold them to analyze to let me know how much I could get from them.

Trembling I give him my earrings. Holding them he took his time to see them, making me extremely nervous. After five minutes which seem almost an eternity to me, the large man spoke:

“Yes, I can buy them. Of course I can’t pay the same as a normal store as I am doing a risky business here. But I can give you $10,000 for the pair”

He said slowly to be sure I understand.

“Oh my god these earrings were $80,000…”

I couldn’t believe how rob I was feeling right now, and the worse thing is, I don’t have any other option, or I accept or I don’t and I spend another night sleeping on the street.

“Please make at least $20,000. You can easily double the price by reselling the earrings, you know it’s true”

I begged and hoped he would give me a little bit more money for my earrings.

“You are right, but you don’t want to give me your identification I can’t make a better deal, I am sorry”

“Please, please”

I begged again.

“Okay I can give you $15,000, but not a penny more”

I couldn’t beg for more, I knew I needed to accept the price right now.

Finally I said with my words ripped out of my guts.

“Okay, I accept”

It didn’t take long to set the rest of the business, and I left the store with an envelope with the money.

Finally I would have a roof to rest and think about my future. I entered in a clothes store to buy some clothes, I knew my life would never be the same and I would never wear the same expensive and modern clothes I used before, now I was okay with basic clothes and that’s what I bought, I got comfortable clothes and from the supermarket some hygiene basics and some fruit.

Back to the hostel, the receptionist smiled when he saw me again. I negotiate a room for one month, and I got a good deal.

Finally in the room, I took a long shower, when I finally got out I felt much more relieved as a heavy weight was lifted from my body. Although I had bought something to eat, I eat the rest of the sandwich the old lady had given me early in the morning and now it tasted heavenly. Finally seating on the bed I took out the money and saw how much it was, I was aware that it looked like lots of money but I knew it was very easy to spend. In my other life I had that money and more for one month, but now I knew I needed to manage the money carefully, because my life would be very hard from now on.

I had no clue it would be hard as hell.

*****