Authors: Linda Lael Miller
“I’ve kept your supper warm,” she told him.
“I’ll eat later,” Rowdy answered, with a twinkle in his eyes. “Right now, you and me and Pardner are going to make ourselves scarce for a little while.”
Lydia felt a jolt of something very complicated as her gaze skirted Lark and Rowdy and connected with Gideon’s face. What she felt was partly alarm, partly annoyance, and mostly a complete mystery to her.
Gideon, meanwhile, hovered just over the threshold, as if struck dumb, long after Lark and Rowdy had left the kitchen.
“I didn’t know what else to do,” he finally said. “But if you want to go back to Jacob Fitch—if that’s really what you want—I’ll take you to him myself.”
It was too late to go back now, though Gideon probably didn’t realize that. Even if Jacob was willing to take the chance that Lydia hadn’t been “compromised,” as he would undoubtedly have put it, his mother
wouldn’t
be. The look Lydia had seen on the woman’s face before leaving the house with Gideon was burned into her memory—Malverna Fitch was not the sort to forgive such a disgrace.
Furthermore, without Mr. Fitch to guarantee payment of the family’s many debts, the creditors would close in, possibly as soon as tomorrow morning, since word of the aborted wedding had surely spread from one end of Phoenix to the other within a matter of minutes, like the wildfires that plagued the desert.
“I haven’t the first idea what I’m going to do, Gideon Yarbro,” Lydia said presently, with what sternness she could muster. “But I most certainly
won’t
be returning to Phoenix.”
Gideon, standing so still for so long, finally moved. He crossed to Lydia, crouched beside her chair, the way he’d done in the parlor at home the day before, took her hand, and looked up into her face. “I’m not a rich man,” he told her solemnly, “but I work hard, and I’ve got a little money put by. I can look after you, Lydia, and your aunts, too. Even Helga, if she doesn’t mind earning her keep.”
Lydia stared at him, dumbfounded—again. She could not think of a single other person who had Gideon’s capacity for surprising her. “Are you proposing to me?” she asked
bluntly, because she was simply too spent to arrange her words in any other way.
“I guess I
am
proposing,” Gideon said, after swallowing visibly. “Rowdy said it was the least I could do, after today.”
If Lydia hadn’t wanted so badly to cry, she would have laughed. No wonder Rowdy had squired Lark out of the kitchen so quickly, leaving the two of them alone. He’d probably
ordered
Gideon to make things right. “That’s why you’re offering for me, Gideon? Because your
brother
thinks you ought to?”
Gideon made an obvious attempt to smile, and failed utterly. His expression was one of resignation, not ardor. “He’s right, Lydia,” he said. “It’s the least I can do.”
“The least you can do,” Lydia echoed. She found herself possessed of an almost incomprehensible urge to touch his face, tell him everything would be all right. At the same time, if she’d had the strength to slap Gideon Yarbro silly, she probably would have done it.
“I’m getting this all wrong,” Gideon said, and this time he did smile, though sadly. “It won’t be a real marriage, Lydia. I won’t expect you to share my bed, that is. You’ll have a home, and so will the aunts, and Fitch won’t be able to cause you any trouble because you’ll be my wife. That’s not such a bad bargain, is it?”
It was, in Lydia’s view, a
terrible
bargain, especially the part about not sharing a bed. Gideon had awakened a formidable hunger in her when he’d kissed her, and now he expected to
marry
her and still leave that hunger unexplored, unsatisfied?
On the other hand, he made a good case.
The aunts would be safe, with food to eat and a roof over their heads, and they obviously trusted Gideon or they wouldn’t have left the house with him, let alone bought
new hats and dresses and traveled all the way to Stone Creek onboard a train at his behest.
As for herself, once she’d exchanged vows with Gideon, she would be part of the Yarbro clan. Lonely all her life, she would have sisters, Lark and Sarah, and a brother, as well, in Rowdy. She would have nieces and nephews and, in time, perhaps even friends, people who liked her for herself and not because she was a Fairmont.
“But what about you, Gideon?” Lydia asked softly, after mulling over all these things. “What could you possibly gain from such an arrangement?” A dreadful thought struck her then. “Suppose you meet another woman someday, and fall in love with her and—”
And I won’t be able to bear it if you do.
A muscle in Gideon’s strong, square jaw bunched, then relaxed again. “I’ll never fall in love with another woman, Lydia,” he said. “I can promise you that.”
“How can you, Gideon?” Lydia asked. “How can you promise such a thing?”
Gideon rose to his full height then, but he still held her hand. “A long time ago,” he answered, looking directly, unflinchingly, into her eyes, “I made up my mind never to love anybody. And so far, I’ve stood by that. That’s not likely to change.”
Looking back at him, Lydia knew Gideon meant what he said.
And even as she made a firm decision of her own—she
would
accept his proposal, if only to protect herself, the aunts and Helga from the wrath of Jacob Fitch—she felt her heart crumble into dry little fragments, like a very old love letter found in the bottom of a dusty box and handled too roughly.
O
NCE THE DECISION WAS MADE
, Rowdy went to fetch the preacher, and the aunts and Helga were awakened to stand witness to the ceremony in their nightgowns, sleeping caps and wrappers.
Lydia put on her aunt Nell’s wedding gown, for the second time in one day, and Gideon allowed Lark to drape him in Rowdy’s best Sunday coat and knot a string tie at his throat.
It might as well have been a noose, considering his expression, Lydia thought, finding herself in a strange state of happy despair.
“We’ll have to hold a reception as soon as we can,” Lark fretted happily. “Sarah and Maddie will never forgive us if we don’t.”
Lydia knew that Sarah was Wyatt’s wife, though she had yet to meet her second prospective sister-in-law, and vaguely recalled Maddie as Mrs. Sam O’Ballivan. A prosperous rancher and a former Arizona Ranger, Mr. O’Ballivan had been Stone Creek’s leading citizen when Lydia had lived there as a child.
“There’ll be no fuss,” Gideon said to his sister-in-law, sternly alarmed at the prospect of a party to celebrate the marriage. “I mean it, Lark.”
Lark smiled. “I’m sure you do, Gideon, dear,” she replied
lightly. “But this time, you’re not going to get your way.
Fuss
isn’t the word for what’s going to happen when this town finds out you’ve come home and gotten married, all in the same day and without a howdy-do to anybody.”
“I haven’t had
time
for a howdy-do,” Gideon snapped. “And I’ve got to be at the mine, ready to work, at seven o’clock sharp tomorrow morning. When I’m through there—after a little matter of, oh,
ten or twelve hours
—I’ll be turning the town upside-down looking for a place to put all these women—”
A place to put all these women.
The phrase echoed in Lydia’s mind, brought a sting of humiliation to her cheeks. Gideon made it sound as though she and the aunts and Helga were a band of unwanted horses in need of stabling.
If she’d had anywhere else to turn, any honorable way to earn a living, she would have told her clearly reluctant bridegroom to go and—well—do something else beside marry her.
The minister arrived, a plump, middle-aged man, looking sleepy and surprised, the fringe of hair around his bald pate still shining with the water he’d used to slick it down in his haste to answer Rowdy’s summons.
A license had been hastily prepared, and Gideon signed it with a bold, harsh flourish. Lydia’s own hand trembled as she penned her much less spectacular signature beneath his.
Probably anxious to get the whole thing over with, so he could return to his bed, the man of God took up his post with his back to the fireplace, and impatiently pointed to where the groom ought to stand. Lydia stood frozen for so long that Helga finally put her hands on her shoulders from behind and pushed her to Gideon’s side.
For an event of such momentous significance—neither Lydia’s life nor Gideon’s would ever be the same, after all—the ceremony went very quickly. In fact, Lydia noted, stealing glances at the mantel clock behind the minister’s right shoulder, the whole thing was finished in under ten minutes.
Lydia responded when she was supposed to—with prompting from Helga, who kept nudging her in the ribs. Gideon, she saw out of the corner of her eye, had to unclamp his jaw before every utterance he made.
Finally, the clergyman, after a nervous glance at Rowdy, who was standing at Gideon’s right side, announced loudly, “I now pronounce you man and wife. Mr. Yarbro, you may kiss your bride.”
Lydia, concentrating on getting through the wedding without fainting or bursting into tears, had not thought about the traditional kiss. She’d barely had a moment to steel herself for it when Gideon turned her to face him and gave her a brief, almost brotherly, peck on the mouth.
“Well, then,” the minister said, all but dusting his hands together. “That’s done.”
The aunts giggled like little girls and clapped their hands together, and Helga muttered, “Thank heaven!”
Lark gave Gideon a scathing look as he left Lydia’s side, without so much as a backward glance, to pay the minister for his services and escort him to the door. Then she hugged Lydia, whispering close to her ear, “Everything will be all right—I promise.”
Rowdy, clearly as annoyed with Gideon as Lark was, smiled and kissed Lydia on the forehead, welcoming her to the Yarbro family.
His words brought tears to her eyes and, seeing them, Rowdy wrapped his strong arms around her and drew her close against his chest for a long moment. “You’ve got
brothers now,” he told her. “Wyatt and me. And we’ll look after you, even if that young fool yonder doesn’t.”
Lydia let her forehead rest against Rowdy’s shoulder. She nodded, too overcome to say thank-you.
The celebration, alas, was as short as the ceremony.
The aunts each kissed Lydia on the cheek, and then turned to go back to their room. Helga actually shook her hand, as though they’d completed some business arrangement, and returned to the nook behind the kitchen, yawning as she went.
Rowdy and Lark each skewered Gideon with a look and then vanished, like the others. Rowdy’s supper, evidently, had been delayed long enough.
And so Lydia found herself alone in the parlor with Gideon.
Her husband.
What was she supposed to do now?
Gideon looked as uncertain as she felt.
“I guess that wasn’t the wedding you probably dreamed about, growing up,” he said, smiling for the first time since they’d all assembled in the Yarbros’ front room a mere fifteen minutes before.
He was wrong about that, at least in part, though Lydia would never have told him so. She
had
dreamed of marrying Gideon many, many times, as a child, as a young girl, as a woman. But in her fancies, he’d always been eager to make her his bride, and there had been church bells, and flowers, and pews full of well-wishers. And a romantic honeymoon afterward.
Speechless, Lydia simply shook her head.
Gideon shoved a hand through his hair, glanced toward the stairs. “I know I said I wouldn’t make you share my bed,” he began, “but—”
Lydia found her voice. She even came up with a shaky little smile, then finished the sentence for him. “But they’ll expect us to sleep in the same room, since it’s our wedding night.”
Gideon nodded. He looked so glum, so tired, that Lydia’s foolish heart went out to him.
She walked over to him, took his hand. “It’s all right, Gideon,” she teased in a mischievous whisper, once again taken over by a bolder, stronger version of herself. “I promise I won’t compromise your virtue.”
He laughed, and the sound heartened Lydia. “Come along, then, Mrs. Yarbro,” he said, squeezing her fingers lightly. “Let’s turn in for the night, like the respectable married couple we are.”
Lydia’s heart sprouted wings and flew up into her throat, fairly choking her, but she allowed Gideon to lead her up the stairs, in that ancient, thrice-worn wedding dress.
Putting a finger to his lips as they passed the rooms where his nieces and nephews were sleeping, he led her into a chamber at the end of the hall, under the slant of the roof. A beautiful china lamp glowed softly on the nightstand, and the window was open to the night breeze.
Lydia forced her gaze to the bed, drew in her breath when she saw how narrow it was, and again when Gideon immediately began shedding his clothes. The coat went first, then the tie, then the shirt.
“You’re not sleeping in that gown, are you?” he asked, down to his trousers and boots by then. He sat down on the edge of the mattress, and Lydia knew he was watching her, but the angle of the lamp left his face in shadow, so she couldn’t make out his expression.
She did see the scar on his shoulder, though. She wondered what had happened to him, but couldn’t bring herself to ask.
Almost saucy before they ascended the staircase, Lydia was once again her normal shy and reticent self. “Lark lent me a nightdress,” she heard herself say, “but it’s in Helga’s room, where I was supposed to sleep tonight.”
Gideon didn’t speak. His face was still unreadable, but she saw his throat move as he swallowed.
“I’ll go and fetch it,” Lydia said.
Gideon stood, crossed to her, turned her around and started undoing the many buttons at the back of her dress. “No need,” he said, his voice strange and hoarse. “You can wear one of my shirts.”
Lydia supposed that was better than sleeping in her drawers and camisole and corset, all of which were uncomfortable, but in a way it seemed even more daring than lying down next to Gideon with nothing at all on. She yearned for one of her own nightgowns, with their long, full sleeves, high necklines, and ruffled hems brushing the floor, but they had all been left behind in Phoenix.
If she went downstairs to claim the one Lark had offered, she would have to face Helga and, anyway, she didn’t think she had enough starch left in her knees to make it that far.
“All right,” she said.
Gideon went to the large mahogany wardrobe on the far wall, took out a shirt. Brought it to her.
“You keep clothing here?” she asked, knowing the question was inane but unable to bear the silence. Accepting the garment, she averted her eyes.
“I’ve been known to visit occasionally,” Gideon answered, oddly affable after the way he’d acted downstairs, before, during and after their wedding ceremony. “Lark and Rowdy set this room aside for me when they built the place.”
With that, he turned his back, allowing Lydia time to step
out of the gown she’d been clutching to her, shed her corset and underthings, and scramble into the shirt. The tails reached past her knees, and the cotton fabric smelled pleasantly of Gideon—soap, aftershave and, oddly, since she hadn’t seen him on or near a horse, saddle leather.
“W-what will you sleep in?” she asked. She still hadn’t moved from the center of the room, and Aunt Nell’s cherished gown lay in a pool at her feet. Hastily, Lydia stepped out of the billow of yellowing lace and silk and gathered it up, clutched it to her.
Gideon laughed, low and quiet, surely mindful, as Lydia was, of the children slumbering in nearby rooms. “Normally, Mrs. Yarbro,” he replied, still keeping his back to her, his arms folded, “I don’t sleep in anything at all. Can I turn around now?”
Lydia bit her lower lip, nodded, realized that he couldn’t possibly have seen that gesture, and said, “If you must.”
He approached the bed, threw back the lovely faded quilt and top sheet beneath. “Which side do you want?” he asked, before yawning expansively.
Lydia managed to move far enough to lay the folded wedding dress down carefully on top of an old steamer trunk in one corner of the room. From what she could see of that bed, it was barely big enough for Gideon, let alone the both of them. And he expected her to choose a
side?
“Maybe I should sleep on the floor,” Lydia said.
“You’re not sleeping on the floor,” Gideon countered immediately, and with a touch of impatience. A pause followed. “And neither am I.”
Lydia realized she had to make a decision and act upon it. “You sleep next to the wall, then, and I’ll have the outside.”
Gideon, still wearing his trousers and nothing else,
executed a sweeping bow, and when he straightened, the lamplight splashed across his face and Lydia saw that he was grinning. “A wise choice, Mrs. Yarbro,” he said. “That way, if I decide to ravish you in the middle of the night, you have at least a fighting chance to escape.”
“I wish you’d stop calling me ‘Mrs. Yarbro,’” Lydia said, embarrassed because Gideon had guessed
exactly
why she’d chosen to sleep on the outside. Thank heaven he couldn’t suspect how strenuously another part of her had argued for the
inside.
“It sounds so—formal.”
“Formal or not, you are legally my wife. That makes you Mrs. Yarbro.” Gideon unfastened the top button of his trousers as he spoke, causing Lydia to turn around again, this time with a whirling motion. And making Gideon
laugh
again, a throaty rumble that struck a corresponding note deep inside her. “Some husbands would wonder if they’d married a virgin or not. I’d say there’s no doubt about that where you’re concerned.”
Lydia heard the creak of bedsprings and knew Gideon had finally reclined, leaving her with nothing else to do but climb in beside him or curl up on the hooked rug like a dog settling down for the night.
When she could make herself meet Gideon’s gaze, she found that his face was in shadow once more—except for the flash of his white teeth. He was grinning again, apparently amused by her discomfiture.
“For God’s sake, Lydia,” he said, “get into bed before I change my mind, break my word, and have you right and proper.”
“That,” Lydia responded pettishly, “is hardly reassuring.” But she drew nearer, reached for the ornate key that would turn the wick and extinguish the china lamp.
“Leave that,” Gideon said gruffly.
Although she had neatly skipped over the word
obey
in the vows she and Gideon had so recently exchanged, Lydia found herself doing as she was told, leaving the lamp to spill light over them both, squeezing into bed next to him.