The Brethren (24 page)

Yonie was not only unmistakably aghast, but seeing Annie with her hair barely touching her shoulders seemed to unlock something in him.

“Nice,” Yonie said simply.

“You think?”

“Well, nice for an Englischer, that’s for sure,” he said. “Not so much for you, Annie.”

At least he didn’t shame her, as she’d braced herself for, even though he’d been nearly as bold not long ago, getting his own hair cut in a modern style. Of course, it wouldn’t take much for him to grow it back into the cropped, nearly bowl-shaped cut, though thus far he’d made no attempt to do so.

On the drive back, after a stop at the outlet stores so Annie could make her purchases, Yonie began to talk of college and how he’d been thinking about going. “To make something of myself, ya know … besides being’ a farmer.”

“This is the first I’ve heard of it. I guess you’ll have to take a qualifying test, jah?”

“The GED. I’ve heard enough about how mighty hard it is, so I think I may have to get some tutoring in order to pass.”

284 “You might have to study. Imagine that.” She grinned at him.

“Sometime next fall, after the harvest, I’ll start lookin’ for my own place. I’m a noose round Daed’s neck.” He fell silent for a time, driving with one hand on the steering wheel, one arm leaning on the open window.

His light hair rippled in the breeze, and Annie tried to envision him dressed like Ben or any of the other fancy men she’d seen, with an open-throated shirt or T-shirt and jeans.

“I suppose you’ll be marry in’ fancy, too?”

Yonie chuckled. “You and your romantic notions.”

“Well, you’ve been seem’ Dory for a good long time.”

He gave her a fleeting look. “And you’ve been seem’ an Englischer again, too.”

“Jah.” She wouldn’t hedge on that, at least not with her favorite brother. “I hope we won’t lose, touch with each other, you and me.” She felt a lump in her throat at the thought of his leaving. “Where will you go to college?”

“Maybe where Sam attended, at HACC, on the Old Philadelphia Pike.”

Annie didn’t dare speak for fear she’d start to cry.

nothing stays the same, Annie. It’s a rule of thumb … of life.”

He could say what he wanted, but she didn’t quite agree. After all, there were plenty of things that did stay the same. Even though she wasn’t exactly a good example, what with her new hairdo and published painting, Annie knew lots of folk who embraced the time-honored life of their ancestors. In some ways, the People as a whole had remained similar for hundreds of years. In other respects, all of them were on

285 a path to change. She thought of the people dearest to her and hoped Mamm would be all right, not despairing over Yonie’s startling news and Annie’s own new look.

“Poor Mamm,” she sighed.

“Jah, I know what you mean,” Yonie agreed, seeming to have something of a lump in his throat, too.

Picking up the small hand mirror on her bureau, Annie prepared for her special evening with Ben. She removed her head covering first, realizing anew how terribly difficult it would be to continue putting up her hair into a bun with it cut so short. Somehow she had managed to wrap it up if only for Essie’s sake upon her arrival home today. She had decided to reveal herself as quite fancy this evening to Esther but wanted to be more discreet about prancing around in front of the children. Prior to going out, she truly needed Essie’s reaction to her modern outfit and dressy shoes, not to mention the face powder and pretty pink lipgloss.

Annie knew she looked completely different even to herself. She’d heard of other Amish girls cutting their hair to make bangs and living to regret it, but not her. She was on the way to jumping the fence, and if she got a good response from Ben, she felt sure she might even beat Yonie over to the outside world. Truth be told, everything she did now was either with her art or Ben in mind, and Annie could hardly wait to have both. No need to chose one over the other as she had with her former beau, Rudy.

I can have it all.

286

as H as

Worried and excited about his impending decision, Ben knew he couldn’t put off telling his family back home. He and his sisters were exceptionally close, and even after the recent tensions between him and his adoptive parents, he still couldn’t exclude them from such a monumental life change. They might try to talk him out of it, but better to hear their objections now and give them time to get used to the idea.

When his mom answered the phone, he asked, “Is Dad around? I’ve got something important to tell you both.”

uUh-oh. That sounds ominous. Hang on. I’ll get Dad on the other phone.”

Ben waited until he heard the click of another phone being picked up. “I’m here,” his father said.

Filling his lungs with air, Ben said, “I’m thinking of going Plain returning to the Amish.”

No one spoke.

He’d thought at least his mother would protest, but he heard nothing.

“You must be freaked, and who could blame you,” Ben said, filling the silence.

Finally his dad spoke up. “After everything you’ve found out about your first family and all, I guess we shouldn’t be so surprised.”

“I’m already learning Pennsylvania Dutch. It’s coming surprisingly easy.”

“That’s because it was ingrained in you at a young age,” Mom suggested. Her voice began to shake. “I always felt you suffered from being cut off … longing for your original family. But we don’t want to lose you, Ben.”

287 “You won’t, Mom. You couldn’t get rid of me if you tried.”

“Though I suppose you won’t be calling us on your cell phone quite so much, huh?” Dad said, attempting a weak joke.

Ben chuckled. “You’re probably right. But there’s always snail mail.”

“Well, we hear the excitement the confidence in your voice, son,” Dad offered. “We’re behind you, if this is what you want.”

He’s too polite to say, “You’re out of your mind!” Ben thought. Still, he was relieved they seemed to be accepting his decision so well.

288

Annie’s heart was beating fast as she called to Esther to come upstairs. “WhatVa-matter?” Essie asked as she entered the room. Her mouth dropped open. “What the world, Annie Zook!”

“Don’t be alarmed … it’s for Ben. It’s a surprise.”

“You can say that again.” Essie shook her head. “Ben’s here early. I saw him pull into the lane just as you called me up here.” She eyed Annie yet again. “Goodness me, you’re a brave one.”

Annie smiled. “Look who’s talkin’l”

“You’re right perty, Annie.”

At that she hugged Essie and hurried down the steps, more than ready to see what Ben had to say about her appearance.

It didn’t take long for Annie to find out, because Ben was already standing at the back door, ready to knock, when Annie walked out through the kitchen and met him. “Hullo, Ben!” she said, trying not to grin lest he think she was showing off.

He started talking, saying, “I have the best news ” But

289 he stopped and went momentarily silent, staring at her. “Whoa … Annie.” His gaze lingered on her short hair.

They stood there awkwardly, Ben obviously stunned by her fancy getup.

“Do you … like it?” She touched her hair.

“You’re very pretty, no matter how you dress or how long your hair is.”

She sensed some hesitancy on his part. “What were you about to say? What’s your news?”

He told how his father Daniel Hochstetler had come to the work frolic and identified him, and of the wonderful reunion with Zeke, as well.

“I think seeing the three of us together blew your father away … though now there’s no question in anyone’s mind that I’m Isaac.” He smiled broadly.

“Oh, Ben, I’m so happy for you! For all of you!” She reached for him and he returned her embrace.

Stepping back, he cleared his throat. “Are you ready for a nice dinner?”

She nodded, still not sure if he was as pleased as she’d hoped about her new look.

Annie took in the soft lighting and candles as she and Ben were directed to an intimate table for two at the Olde Greenfield Inn. The I780s farmhouse was well known for its romantic setting, and Ben had told her on the drive that it was consistently ranked as “Lancaster’s Best” in several magazines. As they were seated in the well-appointed dining room, a waiter placed a large white napkin over her lap before doing the same for Ben.

290 Ben winked at her and continued to look her way while she opened the lovely menu. So many choices, from appetizers to desserts.

Glancing over the top of the menu, she saw him staring at her. “You’re making me blush,” she whispered.

“Annie, you look so beautiful. You always do.”

She felt sure he’d added the latter so as not to indicate she’d looked less than pretty in Amish attire. Not accustomed to being looked at so fondly, nor complimented in this way, she suddenly felt tongue-tied.

Hoping to hide her red face, she attempted to read the menu. She couldn’t help but notice another couple across the room. They seemed nearly too affectionate for being in public, and Annie felt distracted by the woman’s soft laughter and the man’s constant reaching over to touch her hands or face. It was as if they ought to be talking somewhere privately together, not being observed in public.

“Are you all right?” Ben asked.

She focused her attention on her handsome beau. “I’m

fine. Such a perty place you picked for us.”

“The food is supposed to be superb, too. I guess we’ll find out, won’t we?”

When he smiled, his eyes shone with unmistakable affection. She had not the slightest inkling why he continued to look at her, unless it was her lack of head covering or any Plain apparel. She could easily have passed for an Englischer.

She was glad Ben seemed more pleased with her new look now than he had earlier. She was also relieved he hadn’t shown any dismay at her decision to cut her long

291 tresses. Of course, she never would have wanted to confide in him why she had done so, because in less than the space of an hour, she’d spent every last penny of the money she’d earned for her “perfect hair,” or so the stylist had called it.

When the waiter returned, Ben politely ordered for her the lamb chops she had chosen and then ordered the prime rib for himself. She paid close attention as Ben spoke, soaking up every nuance of the way she wanted to speak and act. Like I’m English.

They soon fell into comfortable conversation. Ben talked of having met with Sam several times, his upcoming move, and of wanting to learn to speak Pennsylvania Dutch.

“I’ve even begun to memorize some basic Dutch words,” he confessed.

What he seemed to imply began to dawn on her. “You’re more than captivated by our Plain customs,” she said. “Ain’t so?”

“I think it’s safe to admit it, jah.”

She smiled quickly, but his eagerness to use her words, even occasionally, was beginning to worry her. “You’re sounding like Lou when she was here, Ben.”

Suddenly she wondered what he was really trying to say. She noticed his tan suspenders, but he’d worn them before, back when they’d attended the passion play at the Sight and Sound Theatre. He had often worn more simple clothing. She fingered the tablecloth. “You’re more taken with Amish ways than ever.”

His smile faded. “I thought you might be pleased.”

“It’s a bit unsettling.”

He nodded. “And you’re moving toward the English

292 world.” His eyes traced her face, her hair.

“I’m eager to paint again. It won’t be long now and I’ll be free of my promise to Daed.” She pressed onward, finally telling him of the momentous handshake, the six-month vow she’d made to her father after all the years of hiding what was said to be a sin. “In spite of what the brethren say, I want to resume my artwork. I hope to set up a studio at Essie’s once I’m free to draw and paint again. That’ll be a wonderful’good day. I won’t tell you otherwise.”

She felt nervous as his countenance dimmed. “What is

it, Ben? You look upset.” She didn’t want to spoil this evening, but his reaction worried her. She struggled, unable to explain the incredible pull toward what she’d missed so long. “I can’t turn my back on it forever. It’s part of me.” She sighed. Why is this so difficult?

He fixed his gaze on her. “So … you’re not planning to join the Amish church, Annie?”

She swallowed. “Maybe not.”

“You’ll stay on the fence forever?”

“Well, no. I’ll be jumpin’it.”

He leaned back in his chair, cheerless now. His shoulders seemed to sag, and he looked all in. “There’s something I want you to know.” He reached for his water glass and held it. “What I have to say may astonish you, Annie.”

“What?”

“I want to join church, as you say. Here in Paradise. I want to become Amish.”

She was stunned.

“In fact, I’ve already told my family back home. They had about the same reaction.” Ben continued, “I have no

293 right to ask this, but I will anyway, in case there’s the slightest chance you haven’t made up your mind.” He stopped, looking at her intently. “Annie, I know you have an amazing talent, but you’re also of the Old Order Amish. This is your background, your family … but not only that. It’s your life.”

She would not cry. “Lou said the same thing last year.” He reached across the table to hold her hand. “I believe Louisa’s right. And if there is any chance you might finally become a member of your father’s church, I would like to ask you to consider something else.” He paused, his face reg’ istering some hesitation, but just when she thought he was not going to speak again, his expression exuded great joy. “Annie Zook, will you be my bride? Will you marry me?” She could not speak for her tears.

“I know you’re a gifted artist, Annie. But I also feel drawn to the Plain world, the life I’ve missed the life I want to return to. Can you understand?”

She shook her head. Will we always be heading in opposite directions?

The tinkle of crystal filled the place as Louisa slowly scanned the leather-bound menu of yet another fine restaurant. Michael was talking of driving to Aspen, spending the weekend booking separate rooms, he’d said wanting to get some time alone with her away from the busy city.