The Book Keeper (31 page)

Relieved, I placed the box onto the pavement, and prepared to cross the busy road to retrieve the bloody book.  At that moment, an old lady picked it up and tossed it into the waste bin, and then the garbage truck arrived emptying the bowels of the rubbish bin into the belly of the truck.  And just like that, the bloody book was gone.  This time for good.

After being run over, ripped apart with a loss of innards, thrown into a rubbish bin and jammed into the stinky crap of the Refuse Truck, there was no way that the bloody book could survive.

One part of me was saddened, the other freed from the burden of the bloody book. But life is like that.  One door closes, another one opens.

I ran my hand through my hair, picked up the box from the pavement, and then headed towards the apartment building.

I strode into the apartment grounds rearranging my clothing, and running my hands through my hair, hoping that I smelt good and didn’t look past my use by date after all of the moving that I had done.

I pushed the buttons to Georgia’s apartment.  .

‘Bonjour Ami,’ she answered.

‘Ah, yeah…..
livraison de pain d'épice pour Miss Georgia,’ I responded.

‘Entrer Monsieur,
 ‘ Georgia said.

‘Merci,' I said,
smiling to myself.

As I opened the door to her enormous smile, I knew that life couldn’t get any better.

‘Mr Darcy, where are the gingerbread men that you had to deliver?’ she asked.

‘They ran away,’ I answered as I leaned in to kiss my wife.

‘Good, the apartment was getting too crowded with them living here as well,’ she said.

She helped me sort my stuff before we finally put our feet up.

‘Cohen, where is the book?’ she suddenly asked.

‘Well….I did have it with the last box, but an unbelievable catastrophic chain of events separated the book from me.  It was totally destroyed.  I saw it.  It is irreparable.  It’s kinda sad you know.  It did have sentimental value because it brought us together.  It was unique.  And I could finally see the text on the pages. Eerie, weird.  It is definitely gone, never to be seen again,’ I said morosely.

‘You think?’ Georgia remarked.  ‘We’ll see Mr Darcy.  It is a book of circumstance, of revelations. It’s inspiration lies in its ability to surprise
even the true unbeliever.  You’ll see,’ she commented in a thought provoking way.

‘Mutato Nomine De Te Fabula Narratur
,’ I recited from the brown leather cover of the bloody book.

‘With the name changed, the story applies to you…..’ Georgia whispered, ‘ a special book indeed.’

Epilogue….

I saw him before he saw me.

Good. 

I want
ed to look him over.  Having a clone of oneself was absolutely intriguing, spooky even.  Excellent  fodder for the nature versus nurture debate.

He stood under the
white marquee at the front entrance of the five star restaurant. He wore black trousers and a white long sleeve shirt.  He looked exactly like me, the way that he held his posture, and the way that he positioned his head, chin slightly down.  The only difference was the styling of his hair.  His dark brown hair was shaved quite short, whilst mine was short back and sides, a longish fringe and sculptured side burns.

As soon as he saw me, he smiled shyly, and then looked to the ground in front of him.  Was he as nervous as me about our meeting?  As soon as he looked back up I smiled and nodded at him, and as I came closer, I held out my hand in greeting.

As soon as our skin touched, a cold shiver ran down my spine.  It was like shaking my own hand.  Weird.  Odd.

I kept telling myself I am not he, and he is not me.  We have separate bodies, heartbeats, minds, feelings, souls, consciousness of thought.

‘Ethan,’ I said to him, masking my nervousness in my voice.

‘Cohen,’ he replied, ‘I am so very thankful that we can meet.’

‘Curiosity got the better of me brother,’  I remarked.  He smiled a genuine smile, free of the tension that was on his face before, and then indicated for us to enter the restaurant.

We sat opposite each other at the table.  Normally, I would observe the table ware and décor and comment on their beauty, if I was with a woman.  But I didn’t even notice the table setting in front of me.  I was busy scanning Ethan’s face, his expressions, his mannerisms.

‘Thank-you for saving my life Ethan,’ I said to break the uncomfortable silence as we sat down.  I clasped my hands on the table in front of me.  Strangely Ethan did the same thing at the same time, but then when he saw what we had done, he move
d his hands apart.

‘I was glad to be able to help you.  Saving lives is what I do.  We very nearly lost you to eternity, but I was damned if I was going to let that happen,’ he remarked.

‘Aah, but then you could have had the girl while I played pushing up daisies,’ I added.  He chuckled at my comment, and I felt more at ease with him.

Why was I sitting here in this fine restaurant with my clone?  There were so many reasons, but the top of the list of questions, foremost was, I wanted to know if he was a good guy.  I had always wondered about have a double somewhere else on the earth.  Would one be good and the other the exact opposite?  This question also related to my clone.

‘How long have you known that you were not born of the womb?’ I asked, getting down to the nitty gritty.

‘You mean a clone?’ he asked, wanting clarification of my question.

‘No. I mean ‘of the womb’.  You could have been transferred to the womb of a surrogate mother, had the scientists chosen that path to follow,’ I elaborated.

‘That is true Cohen.  You have done some research I notice…..from the age of seven, my scientist fathers – plur
al, were very open with me about my coming into being.  But I believed that the artificial sterile environment that I was raised in was the norm for all people.  I became aware of my abnormality at the age of thirteen when I started studying medicine, and hence the creation of life.’

‘How did you feel when you learned about natural conception of life?’ I asked.

‘I was……very angry, hostile even.  The grieving process, you know.  But now I have accepted it.  I have mourned the loss of a different ‘normal’ type of childhood……you can’t go back and change things you know…..’  He stopped talking.  The pained expression on his face told me that the memories of growing up were still particularly raw.  I felt extreme sorrow for him, and guilt.  Guilt that my childhood was so happy, loving and nurturing.

‘I am glad that we met Ethan.  I don’t feel so alone in the world now, if you can understand that,’  I added.

He put his hands over his face, ran his hands through his hair, and then wiped away a tear as he looked up at me.

‘Me too.  Meeting you means more to me that I can tell you Cohen,’ he said, his voice breaking with emotion.  And then he blew out air between his lips. This was tough for him obviously.

I reached over and clasped his hand in mine.

‘Brothers for eternity,’ I whispered to him, to stop myself from becoming emotional.

What a scene it would cause in this fine dining restaurant full of well-to-do people.  Two grown men who look identical crying.  We were already receiving many glares our way.

‘They walk among us you know,’ he whispered over to me.

‘Others?....other clones?’  I asked.

‘Yes, medically, physically, they are fine.  But emotionally, they are lost.  They all seek a connection.  A connection to people, wanting to know where they fit into the scheme of the world.  They are truly lost……they want to know if they have a soul, or if there is only one soul for each set of unique DNA, and whether the DNA host is the body for the soul?’ Ethan explained.

I sat back in my chair, and ran both of my hands through my hair.  Philosophically, theologically, this was a tough question.  How could they get a clear cut answer on that one?

‘Ethan, clones do have a soul, otherwise they would not be questioning whether they did or not, in my opinion anyway,’  I tried to add to his discussion.

“Do you believe you have a soul?’  I asked, impatient for his answer.

‘At first I was dogged by the same question.  Without a soul, one would not know between right and wrong.
Without really feeling it I mean.  It would be easy to learn right from wrong though, like in a text book.  I guess I am talking about a conscience here. I have a very strong sense of right and wrong.  I also have the need for a spiritual connection.  Therefore, I have a soul,’ Ethan explained.

‘You are a living human being Ethan.  There is no doubt that you possess your own soul,’ I added, supporting him in his reasoning.

As we consumed dinner, we continued in our conversations.

‘Have you thought about having a relationship with anyone Ethan, besides Georgia of course?’ I enquired.

‘I am highly attracted to women, but my relationships with them have always been plutonic.  I never tell them that I am a clone.  They would instantly put me into the monster box I am sure.  It is easier for me if no-one knows my creation or upbringing.  I generally tell them that I am adopted,’ he explained.

‘You are a wise man Ethan. I am proud to call you my brother,’ I said.  He put down his knife and fork, raised his glass of wine and held it up.

‘Thank-you Cohen.  I am the most blessed man in the world,’ he added.  I nodded my head slightly at him as I sipped my red wine.

‘Ethan.  Will you be one of my groomsmen at the wedding, two weeks time?’ I asked.

‘Are you sure you want to ask me that Cohen?’  he questioned.

‘Absolutely.  Our other two brothers will be standing with me there as well.  So you must be to,” I explained matter of factly.

Ethan put his hands over his face.  I heard him sobbing, his shoulders heaving.  I clasped my hands in front of my face and rested them against my lips, looking at the table whilst I waited for him to compose himself.  Then I reached over and hand hugged his arm.

‘Welcome to our family.  The next step is to meet our parents and brothers.  But only when you feel that you can cope with it.’

He breathed in deeply, pulled his hands away from his face, and dried his face with the napkin.

‘Yes.  Thank-you Cohen.  My dream is becoming a reality, only through your willingness to reach out to me
.  It all could have ended differently, had you chosen a different path to deal with the information overload that I am your clone,’  Ethan remarked.

‘Tell me Ethan, you being the doctor here.  What is the difference between a clone and an identical sibling, beside the obvious time spent in the womb together?’  I asked, eager for his answer.

‘Well, according to scientists,  it is exactly that. We did not share the same womb, time of birth, bonding with a mother.  It is the nuture coming into play.  For instance, if I was your identical twin, nurtured in the same fluid of the amniotic sac, born at the same time, would our intelligences be the same?  Am I in fact more intelligent than you, or is it how I was nurtured and immersed in educational curriculums to advance my knowledge in all things as was the plan of my scientific fathers?  We would make the perfect study specimens for the great science debate, which I refuse to be part of Cohen, and so should you,’ Ethan explained, his conviction against scientific studies strong. 

I nodded my head.  There was a lot to think about. But, what it all came down to in the end was compassion.  Love for fellow human beings, and helping, not harming.  That is all that mattered in this world.

‘So Cohen, how many babies do you think you will have with Georgia?’ Ethan asked, totally off the previous subject.

I raised my eyebrows and chuckled.  Such a funny question.

‘You know, we haven’t even discussed that aspect of our lives.  For now, I will just be extremely happy being physically close to her.  I made a promise to myself in my teenage years that that only woman I would be intimate with would be my wife, and the first time would be on our wedding night!’ I said, entertaining Ethan.

‘And you Ethan.  Spill the beans,’ I encouraged,

He looked down at his half eaten food.  I had hit an exposed nerve, and his face reflected his pain.

‘I am sorry Ethan.  Please don’t answer me if you don’t want to,’ I added, wishing I could backtrack on our conversation.

He started to shake his head.

‘No, not at all.  It is a fair question Cohen…….
I….did a genetic study on my DNA quite a while ago.  I also did so with my semen.  I found a permanent change in my DNA sequence – a de Novo mutation.  If would be irresponsible of me to father a child, knowing that the de Novo will lead to a genetic disorder in the child. So I consciously choose to never father a child.  So to protect myself, a potential mother and a potential child, I purposely will not engage in any sort of physical relationship,’ he explained.