The Boleyn Effect (The Boorman Ending) (25 page)

His apology throws my act
off slightly. A real sorry with no 'I'm a Dick'. But I can do this.
I can put him firmly on the back foot. Tears sting my eyes and I
swallow down any remaining feelings for him. He is self-destructing
and I've always allowed him to take me with him. That can't happen
anymore.

'I wanted to say no,' I
say quietly.

'I know.'

'But you did it
anyway.'

George nods slowly. 'Will
you forgive me?'

This is harder than I ever
thought possible. Maybe he's playing me just as hard, but I want so
badly to tell him to fuck off and never to speak to him again. But
I do need him. There I've said it. Despite it all I do need him.
It's an addictive drug that does me no favours but I can't live
without. Added to the knowledge I've just found out about his
mother. I kind of understand his ways.

What on gods earth made
the Gaskills tear him away from his mother? The poor fucked up
bloke had no hope with a bastard like that for a father. Yet, he's
my fucked up bloke. My best friend that I can help fix once this is
all over. Harry and I can do it together.

'Let's just draw a line
under it,' I suggest.

A small smile emerges as
he starts to relax.

'So are you and he going
to stay together, if it's love?' George asks.

'You told me that he
couldn't keep me,' I say, steadily.

'I also told you not fuck
him or fall in love, but you did it anyway.'

I try not seem
uncomfortable under his stare. The jealousy still burns deep inside
him and it makes me nervous. I need to give him the right answer
without giving myself away.

'I want things back to
normal,' I say.

'Then I will have to pray
that you do what you always do and fuck it up, because you get
bored,' he answers with a smirk.

I bristle at his
assumption, but have to resign to the fact that all I can do is
smile back and laugh at his little joke. Little ole Leigh, who
can't live without him, because if she does her life goes down the
pan.

'You fancy doing something
else?' he asks when I don't answer.

'Like what?'

'You choose.'

I'm fighting an internal
war of defiance. I came here wanting to manipulate and use George
for information and now I'm not sure if I can do it.

'Let me buy you something
to apologise,' he says.

And there it is. The crux
of all our problems. He just throws money my way and then
everything will be alright. But it isn't alright and if I want this
to stop then I need to make it stop. He could buy me all the wealth
in the world, but it will never excuse him for what he's done. Once
I get what I need we're done.

To appease and manipulate
more we shop, chat and laugh, finally ending up in the pub. He
thinks it's all alright. He thinks he's forgiven and I now have
inside knowledge when it comes to Katherine. Later that evening, I
am making way home when my phone rings. Its Harry's
number.

'Hey, sexy old man. I'll
be back soon.'

'Well don't get your hopes
up, because he won't be there.'

My insides chill at
Katherine's voice.

'Why won't he be there?' I
ask.

'Why do you think? He's
back where belongs.'

The phone goes dead and I
lean against a wall to try and get my breath back. I feel like I've
been punched. I'm home much quicker than normal. I have to see for
myself.

Walking through my front
door, I see my place is empty. Not even a note. Well that's it.
George was right. I am a child. Being together isn't enough. It's
never enough, because I don't have what Katherine has to keep him
happy.

Is it really worth
fighting back? I could walk away and leave them to it. After all
how long would it be before Harry is cheating on me anyway? Because
if Katherine can't stop him from wandering, then how in hell will
I? Residing to the fact that it's over, I prepare myself for the
coming weeks of heartbreak. When the front door opens and in walks
Harry.

'Hey, I picked up some
stuff. I thought I'd cook...what's wrong?'

'Where have you
been?'

He walks past me and dumps
the bags on the counter and then turns towards me, concern on his
face, but I'm looking for something else.

'I had to pop into the
office first thing and then I went to see another
lawyer.'

I grab the bags and start
to unpack so I can watch his every movement.

'What about Katherine?' I
ask.

'What about
her?'

'Have you been to see
her?'

He frowns at me, but there
is no guilt on his face, but then I suppose it's a look he's
perfected in hiding.

'Yes, but don't get it
wrong. I needed to try and sort out our divorce.'

'And did you?'

'I tried.'

'And that's it? Nothing
else. No attempt at a reconciliation, or a goodbye fuck even,' I
hiss.

'For god's sake Leigh,
what's got into you?' he snaps.

'Why are you not denying
it?' I start to shout.

'Because there is nothing
to deny. I kind of hoped that me leaving her was enough for you to
know that I'm serious.'

'Then why the fuck did she
ring me from your phone and tell me that you were going back to
her?'

'Because she is now my
ex-wife and she's trying to wind up the woman I am in love
with.'

It makes sense when he
puts it like that and I find myself relaxing my stance.

'Come here,' he says. He
pulls me into a hug. 'You're going to have to trust me. This isn't
going to get any easier.'

'I know and I do,' I
answer.

'That's settled then. Now
let me cook supper and then you can sort out dessert.'

He pats my backside
affectionately and starts to work his magic in the kitchen. I can't
get over him telling me that he's in love with me. Deep down I
realise that he's charming me and saying the right things, but I
can't bear to hear any form of reasoning. Push it down and lock it
away. It's the only I will get through this.

CHAPTER
THIRTY THREE

The hall is filled with
graduation gowns, proud students and even prouder parents. Me and
Clair stand in our designated corner and filter through as many
students as we can. Of course I am unable to do this all by myself
and so I've gathered a few of my photographer contacts and promised
them a cut of what I make. Now the three of us are clicking our way
through the three days of graduation.

The first day I'd woken up
in a blind panic, wondering if the job was far too big for me to
take. Being over ambitious once again, but Harry had calmed me
down. Forced me to breathe and take stock.

'You are good at what you
do,' he coaxed. 'That's why you're doing it.'

Two weeks living together
seems to have flown by and been easier than expected. Yes I know
it's the honeymoon period, but it just feels right. Sleeping beside
him every night and waking with him in the morning. I now don't
know how I've slept alone for so long. We both leave for work in
the morning and in the evening I am cooked for, especially after my
attempt at trying to cook for him.

'I'm sure it will taste
nice,' he said looking down at the sloppy remains of what should
have been salmon. 'Fish can be tricky,' he added with a
smile.

But after a few dubious
mouthfuls and some tears I finally gave in and ordered
Chinese.

'I bet Katherine is a good
cook,' I moaned later.

'Yes, but the fact that
I'm here with you being near on poisoned means I don't care,' he
joked, but then turning serious he pulled my face to
his.

'Promise me that you'll
never compare yourself to Katherine, because you're a world away
from her. Plus, I'll teach you how to cook. It's not that difficult
it's all about timing.'

I gave him my promise, but
it insecurity still sits there. Ever since the day he told me he
loves me I've become an emotional wreck. Almost needy and weepy all
the time, but I try and hide that side of me from him. I want to be
better than her. Long gone is this one sister helping another. She
is the ex-wife of my lover.

Now on the last day of
graduation I'm finding my stride and actually enjoying myself. I've
barely seen anything of Harry while working and that has made
things easier. He distracts me far too much and it's a distraction
I don't need until I'm home at least.

'Right who's
next?'

A young gawky man steps up
and I introduce myself to him in order to make him feel at ease.
His lanky frame does nothing for the gown and the mortar board
seems precariously perched. I wait for Clair to straighten him out
and I catch someone staring at me. This tiny blond making me
uncomfortable and seeing one of my colleagues free I direct her to
him.

'I'd rather wait,' she
says firmly.

'OK, I won't be long,' I
shrug. 'Are we ready Clair?' I say turning towards the
camera.

She gives me one of her
exasperated looks as if to say that's the best I can do. She hands
him the prop degree scroll and steps out of shot. Pushing the
button it's done and the guy visibly relaxes as he goes to where
his parents stand.

'Right, it's your turn.
What's your name?' I ask.

The blond frowns at me for
a moment.

'You mean you don't
know?'

A tight knot starts to
form in my stomach, because it's obvious that she thinks I should
and our only connection to the place is one man. My man. But I'm
trying not to jump to conclusions. I need to trust him.

'I'm sorry no. I need it
so that I can tick you off on my sheet,' I answer
steadily.

Clair is beside me with a
pen waiting, but I daren't look her way in case I get the: I told
you so look. The blond and I just stare at the other waiting for
her to say her name.

'Well I'm Leigh,' I say
trying another tact.

'Yes I know,' she snapped.
'My name is Johanne Adamson,' she says to Clair.

Tearing myself away from
her glare, I watch as Clair ticks her off on the sheet and
instructs her where to stand. She stands a few inches smaller than
me, but with a fuller figure. The heels she's wearing causing her
body to thrust out and I can tell by the straining of her shirt
that she beats me in breast size.

Panic is starting to fill
me as I watch Clair straighten her gown. Is this one that Harry has
been holding in the side-lines? It was that Jayne that was playing
on my mind, but I've already spied her around the campus, hanging
off some hunk of a man. So I'd put my paranoia away, until now. She
is pretty. Incredibly so. She's got that adorable look going for
her and I'm sure Harry finds that just as appealing compared to my
feisty aggressive bull in a china shop approach.

Clair turns my way and
gives me a nod and Johanne carries a small smirk on her face at my
staring. She knows I feel threatened. Shit! Is this what Katherine
felt like when I came along? Talk about Karma.

'Leigh, I'm done,' Clair
nudges.

Shaking myself, I offer
Johanne a smile and ask if she's ready.

'More than ever,' she
answers.

Taking the picture I step
away from the camera and nod that she can go. She slinks past me
and disappears out of the hall.

'What was her problem?'
Clair asks.

'I don't know, but can you
hold the fort for a minute?'

I leave Clair standing
without waiting for an answer and hurry through the crowds out of
the hall. Turning the corner, I see her and Harry talking. Both
dressed in their robes looking like they fit perfectly together in
this academic world. A fit of temper and jealousy starts to consume
me. I prepare myself for a full on and no doubt embarrassing
confrontation, but I take a moment to stop and I look carefully at
them both.

Harry's body language is
tense, angry even. With his cap in his hand, he runs his fingers
through his hair as she continues to badger him. She has him backed
into a corner with her body pressed up against his, while he tries
to move away. Then suddenly, he grabs her arm and drags her into a
nearby building. Carefully following, I enter and hide behind a
wall where I can now hear them arguing.

'Why will you not get it
into your head that I am not interested,' Harry snaps.

My breathing is now
starting to shallow at just those words, but I want to know who she
is.

'But if you have left
Katherine then why can we not start again?' she asks.

'Because I am with someone
else now.'

'That photographer, Leigh?
She needn't know.'

'Look Johanne, I am really
sorry to say this but we only had sex maybe a couple of times and
that is all it was...sex.'