The Blue Falcon (16 page)

“
And why would you prefer this solitary existence to a proper marriage?”

“
I do not need a man to manage my lands! Better to be alone than be bound as the unhappy servant to a man I loathe.”

“
How do you know you will despise the man your father chooses? How do you know he will not be a man you will love and long to serve?”

He half expected her to say it was because she loved him, but her reply left him stunned.
“
Even if he is Tedric?”

She walked away from him and moved toward the door of the chamber, leaving him standing in confusion on the balcony.
“
I would have you learn Cordell before you make your decision, Sir Conan. And do not be perplexed; I make you no indecent offers. My favors are for no man, and lastly my sister’s husband. My chamber is yonder,” she said, throwing her arm wide and indicating a door that would lead to her room.
“
And the door will be bolted. Never again suggest that I would be so easily compromised.”

Abruptly she turned, leaving him to stand and stare at the door in wonder. He looked from there to the door she earlier indicated, the one that led to her chamber. As he watched that door, he heard the bolt slide into place.
Does she think me some beast of the wood that tears down doors in his rutting fever?
he thought. But no sooner had that thought passed than he realized perhaps the locked door was wise.

A maid bearing a tray with a silver goblet came into the room. A gift from the lady Chandra, he was told. The finest wine Cordell could offer to lighten his spirits and bring him ease. He drank of the heady brew and turned his thoughts back to the ocean. The waves crashing against the rocks far below him simulated the feeling in his heart at the moment.

It was not enough that he was committed to years of unhappiness, but now Chandra, so fair and young and good, was left with unpleasant choices: to be alone always or live with a man such as Tedric.

Behind him the maid busied herself in the room, laying out linens and fresh clothes. The wine relaxed his rattled mind and the tub beckoned. He put the goblet aside and began to remove the heavy clothing of his profession. As he struggled with the chain mail, two small hands aided him in lifting it from his body. When the chausses were removed he looked at the young maid. She was still more child than woman, but her face was bright and she was lovely. It was the custom in most noble households to have the women help the men bathe. Conan was accustomed to this, but his emotions were terribly confused.

“
Do you have a name?” he asked the lass.

“
Aye, milord. I am called Wynne.”

“
I thank you for your good service, Wynne. I will bathe and dress myself.”

She bobbed in a little curtsy and left him. Sinking deep into the warm water, he thought heavily on sparkling blue eyes, long golden tresses and a womanly form that begged to be held. His fantasies were anything but chaste, and in fact he had never indulged himself in such an imaginary romance before. But his conscious resolve was firm. He would never again suggest to Chandra that he would welcome her affec
tions. He would protect her interests and her virtue as if she were his daughter.

***

The coast was considerably colder in late September than farther inland. The fire burned bright to warm the hall, and many of Conan’s men conversed with those servants present. Anselm, in all its greatness, could boast fine feasts and much gaiety. But Cordell, a small and warm keep, had many more servants available to the manor than Conan would have expected, and the quality of food was rich. He was welcomed here in a manner he wished he could apply to Stoddard.

At the table Chandra sat, patiently waiting for him to begin the meal. He took his place between her and Thurwell, with Mallory beyond him. The knights conversed with the lady of the hall, but between Conan and Chandra silence reigned. Her mood was pleasant and easy. In fact, there seemed no tension in the room but for what he felt within himself. He tried aping her casual manner, for her appearance suggested she never thought of him as anything but a friend.

“
Your father’s serfs are at ease here,” he began.

“
They are my serfs,” she reminded him.

Although he chafed slightly at the thought of a woman in charge, looking around he could see that nothing was lacking here. But he went on, for it was quite an uncomfortable thing for a man to accept a woman’s efficiency.
“
The people here are confident of their safety, yet I see no guards. When my men ask why, they are told the village has never seen an attack.”

“
That is correct. Even Vikings of yore were not dim-witted enough to attempt our coast.”

“
Is your village secret?” he asked.

“
Oh, nay. Our people travel often to the fairs and trade in Colchester and as far as Cambridge. And though the journey is not an easy one, many have been to London. This village is well known to the outlying towns and we have visitors from the monasteries often.”

“
There is a rich store of grain here and livestock abounds, not to mention the wealth your fishermen must enjoy. Does no one threaten this?”

“
If you were to attack this keep, from where would you come?”

“
From the forest, as I did at Stoddard,” he replied confidently.

“
Then I challenge you to go there and see what protection I speak of. I believe you will find it is impenetrable.”

“
I will take my men in the morning and
--
”

“
Sir Conan, if you will indulge me a bit: I would have you take only Sir Mallory and Sir Thurwell as you go. Cordell is not a secret, many know of this place. But Cordell is a place of secrets. I know the wood well and I promise you, you need no army of men. And,” she added, leaning closer to him and speaking in hushed tones,
“
I would keep my wood, my moat and wall, from the knowledge of great armies of men.”

Her blue eyes glittered like sapphires and his heart quick
ened its pace. He looked away from her to hide his discom
fort.
“
And what of your father’s chores? Those things we came here to accomplish?”

“
I need no henchmen to do my father’s work. The people will yield their revenues without quarrel. I would have you test the security of this keep so that you can answer my request.”

He did not argue with her further. In time she rose and moved about the room, conversing with some of his men and many of the serfs she had not seen for more than a year. She laughed easily as she talked and more than once took a tray from a serving maid and presented it herself to one of the knights. He found himself most distracted by her casual manner.

When the evening had worn on she retired. He was urged to have another drink, and Thurwell raised his glass, toasting the mistress of the hall.
“
To the lucky fool to win her hand,” Mallory added to the toast. Conan did not drink to the salute, which was made more in jest than true appreciation. But his
c
omrades went on to attest loudly to the fair Chandra’s more desirable assets, and Conan slumped lower in his chair. He fairly pouted in his wine, considering the burial of his troubles in drink.

What curse this?
he thought in confusion. She dwells in every corner of my mind and there is no room for another in my heart. No room for a wife who will bear a child, no room for even a saucy wench who would ease my urges. Yet she is at ease with the torment, prepared to live a quiet life alone, wanting me not as lover but as brother. And even knowing how I feel, she is insulted at the meagerest hint of any advances. And she has such little faith in my chivalry that she must bolt the door against my pursuit.

He left the men in the hall to seek some comfort from his bed, thinking Chandra had successfully overcome the agony of this unrequited love.

As he passed by the door to her chamber, it was in his mind to knock and draw her into a short conversation. He would show her, as best he could, his own casual and unaffected manner. He would ask her of his journey into the wood and calm her thoughts on the matter. As husband to her sister, he could be depended on for whatever protection she needed for Cordell.

But from the other side of the door he could hear her broken, jagged sobbing. He listened even as it tore at his chest. He longed to cradle her in his arms, yet he knew he could never touch her. He had made her burdens less in his mind and her tears brought clear to him the realness of her pain.

He went into his own chamber heavy of heart after a few of the most disquieting moments he had spent in some time. He stared into the fire.
“
I was wrong, my love,” he said somberly.
“
There is no comfort in knowing you are as tortured as I.”

***

Dawn roused the lazy village. Mallory, Thurwell and Conan were up at the first glimmer of sunlight and were about the chore of fixing their armor and other battle gear to venture into the wood. They had expected to eat a simple and quick morning meal and be on their way, but they were distracted by Chandra, who had also risen. She came to where they stood in the courtyard with horses ready.

“
Come into the hall,” she bade them, ignoring any proper morning greeting.
“
There is some information I would have you take to the forest with you.”

She turned as quickly as she had come, and they looked at each other in bemusement. Finally Conan shrugged his shoulders.
“
‘Tis her wood. Until she leads me astray, she will have her way.”

They found her seated in the same place she had taken the night before. As they drew chairs about her, a pork brewis, steaming and tempting, was thrust before them.

“
No armor or horses for the forest, my knights,” she told them.
“
Wear your mail if you insist upon it, but leave behind your spears and lances. A heavy broadsword will serve all your needs, and a horse would slow you, for the paths, such as they are, are narrow and crooked.”

“
Without horses, how are we to carry our provisions or bring back game?” Conan asked.

“
Packs to be carried on your backs have been prepared,” she said, pointing to the bundles by the door.
“
There is enough provender for a few days, should you need it. And as for game, there is no need, since my huntsmen keep us well supplied. Bows and arrows have been set aside for you, and I suggest you venture together lest you come across an angry boar.”

“
Bows and arrows,” Conan choked.
“
By God, Chandra, we are not simple serfs sent to bring food to your table! We are knights and
--
”

“
If you believe my words, I think you will fare the better,” she advised.

He would have argued further, but one of his men entered the hall and stood before him, impatient for a word.

“
Sir Conan, I thought you should hear of the situation in the village,” he said uncertainly.

“
Did you receive a night’s lodging there? Were there problems?”

“
Nay, my liege, no problem. Indeed, ‘twas the finest lodging we’ve chanced upon in some years. And the women there treated us with much kindness. We all did as you bid us and no one pressed any maid from the town, but you should know: there seem to be very few men.”

“
How does this matter to me?” he questioned.

“
I only thought it important, my lord. We heard you advise
t
he lady of the lack of safety in this keep, but in my mind ‘tis worse than you suspect. There are mostly old men and young lads. The only stout men abide at the shore and set out early with the tide to fish and collect seaweed. Once the sun has risen, there is scarce a man in the village offering protection. ‘Twould be a simple matter to take the whole village with ten stout men.”

Yet the village had survived many years without a battle. He looked between Chandra and his two friends with uneasi
ness. She offered no solution to this puzzle.
“
Set your men to guard the house and the road leading into the village. Be sure someone watches from the tower, and rest assured: I will not leave Medwin’s lands as poorly fixed as I have found them.”

He finished his breakfast quickly and rose to leave. Chan
dra followed them outside and pointed in the best direction for them to enter the wood.

“
I mean what I say, my lady. This hall and this land have been run by women a trifle remiss in considering what dangers may lie beyond their kens. While your rooms and your table boast of your good service, your walls would crumble around you from the weakest foe. I am surprised at you, lady. You have seen attacks on your father’s strong walls and know the sufferings of those women and children not adequately protected.”