The Blinding Light (22 page)

My hand lost its rhythm for a moment. “Two
thousand
dollars? Fuck, Patrick. I’m in the wrong bloody profession! Two bloody grand? And you could’ve just stayed at home one day and dropped your daks in front of me and I think I would’ve given it to you for free.”

His breathing had hitched a notch and he was thrusting into my hand. I rearranged us for a moment so I could take both of our cocks in my large grip and bring us off together. “I don’t care if it’s free or not at this very moment in time. Just don’t stop.”

I brought my lips to his, taking nibbling bites of his mouth, and slowed my hand so it was barely moving. “I can see I’m going to have to stick around a bit longer and teach you more manners. Now ask me nicely and I might continue. I’ll give you a hint. It’s either please, thank you, or sorry.”

He was gasping for breath. “Jesus! Please don’t stop or else you’ll be sorry because I won’t give you my thank-you tomorrow in the shower.”

Close enough. My mouth crashed down on his and we were both coming in under twenty seconds.

I
ACCEPTED
a coffee from Ellie and made sure Skylah was out of earshot before asking, “So what’s this about a new boyfriend, I hear?”

The spoon clattered into the sink where Ellie was rinsing it. “What? What did he tell you?”

I sipped the hot beverage and winced a little as it scalded my tongue. Patrick had made chili the night before and boy, did he like it hot! “He didn’t tell me anyth
—
Hang on! What do you mean ‘what did he tell me?’ Are you saying that I know this guy? That I talk to him on a regular basis?”

I glared at my sister in shock and noticed her hands were shaking slightly as she dried them on the tea towel. Nerves? Was I that scary? Or did this guy mean something important to her?

She took the seat opposite me and wouldn’t meet my eyes. I pulled out the big guns. “Eleanor, either you tell me about this guy right now, or I will insist you have to recite The Truth. Now what’s going to be less threatening to your pride? You know I’m going to find out about him sooner or later.”

She sighed and gave in. “How did you know I had a boyfriend, anyway?”

“Skylah via Maria. I’ll have to assume that Mum and Lizzy know too.”

She screwed her face up. “Man, you cannot keep a secret in this family!” I watched her fiddle with the handle of her own coffee mug and waited patiently. After a moment she told me. “It’s Luke.”

Luke?
Luke?
“You’re seeing Luke Dawson? How did you even meet the guy…? Hang on. He said he was going to ask out some girl that he saw on his delivery rounds. Is that where? Why the hell did neither of you tell me?”

Ellie looked chagrined. “I didn’t even recognize him at first. But he comes in daily at work and he always stopped for a chat. Then he bought me flowers one day… I didn’t even realize he felt that way about me, Jake. I feel so… washed up. I’m twenty-four and I have a daughter in school and I can’t even get through the month without borrowing money off my brother. I feel so… useless. But Luke makes me feel special, worthwhile. And he likes Skylah and he even took us all to the movies a couple of days ago.”

“So do you actually like him? Or just like the attention he gives you?”

My little sister blushed. “I like him, Jake. He’s funny and sweet and cute. And he… well, he isn’t just in it for the sex. I know a lot of guys who date single mums because they think we’re easy and desperate for any guy. Luke isn’t like that. He hasn’t pressured me in any way.
And
he’s still interested.”

“So why the big secret?” I wanted to know. I felt a bit hurt that neither of them felt they could tell me.

“Bro, please don’t take this the wrong way, but you can be intimidating. I don’t mean threatening or anything like that, but it’s just that you have everything put together so well. You manage. When life throws shit at you, you just grab a bat and start playing baseball. You’re broke as a church mouse and yet you’re still out there with a smile, taking care of what needs to be taken care of and never complaining. Sometimes it makes us lesser mortals feel a little inadequate. Oh, I don’t mean I don’t love you, and you know I really love everything you do for me and Skylah, but sometimes I don’t tell you everything, so that when I fail, once again, I don’t have to confess to you what a loser I am. I don’t want to let you down. I don’t want you to know how bad my life is.”

I cocked an eyebrow at her.
She thought I had my life together?
“Have I been holding on too tightly, doll?”

She grasped my hand across the table. “No. You were there when I needed you. But maybe it’s time for you to loosen up a bit. I’m getting better at wading through my own crap, and now Luke is helping me some, holding my hand as I slowly pull myself out of the mud. He has his own crap too, but I think I like that. It makes him more normal to me.” She squeezed my hand again. “And maybe you should be letting me and Lizzy go some so you can find a man of your own to do a little hand holding with.”

“Hmph.” I was a little startled at the idea of not having to watch and support every move my sisters made. What would I do with myself?

But Ellie wasn’t finished. “So are you going to? Do this hand holding business? Maybe with the guy Luke told me about that you brought to the pub? Patrick?”

Shit. You really can’t keep a secret in this family!
“What did Luke tell you?”

She waved her hands in the air. “Not a lot. Just that you were all fussy over this blind guy at the pub, and that this guy seemed to be mightily interested to hear all about my brother. I figured he was your employer, and I’ve been waiting for you to say something.”

It was my turn to blush and I could feel the heat steal across my cheeks. “There isn’t much to tell you at the moment. He’s great
—
in bed and out of bed. But I don’t know if we’re having an affair or something more.”

I had managed to scandalize and embarrass my sister—which is what I was aiming for—and she turned bright red. “Jacob Troy Manning! Don’t tell me that you’ve been messing around with your employer in his bed when you should’ve been making it.”

I laughed loudly. “No. I’d never fool around on paid time. But let’s just say that I’ve been having to wash his sheets daily for the last week.”

Ellie cackled loudly with amusement. “Right! That’s it, then. If it’s been longer than a week then I need to meet him.”

“What? No!” I was horrified by the idea.

But Ellie was stubborn. I don’t know where she got that from. Not from me, anyway. I left her house promising to bring Patrick over Saturday for lunch. Ellie promised to invite Luke as well, which virtually guaranteed my acceptance. I needed to grill the guy about his intentions toward my sister.

Strangely, Patrick was okay about going, eager even. I expected a big fight from him like we’d had when I forced him to go to The Tav and to the café. Instead he just smiled and said that it would be a nice outing, and should he take anything?

It confounded me.

I tried to work out what it meant. I thought about it while I was scrubbing his shower on Thursday, and thought about it even more as I was drifting off to sleep that night with him curled up asleep behind me. I still hadn’t worked it out as I grocery-shopped for him on Friday, and it annoyed me so much that I put back all the canned, salted crap that he ate and instead bought fresh food. He could complain if he wanted to, but I had been doing all the cooking at his house and I preferred fresh.

I’d told him that I’d leave a casserole in the fridge for him to pop in the oven when he got home on Friday night because I would be out delivering papers, and he’d smiled radiantly at me and even managed to thank me without prompting.

My Tav shift flew by, and before I knew it I was herding the late crowd out the door and cleaning up.

“So where’s Prince Charming tonight, Jake?” Charlie boomed at me across the empty bar where I was collecting glasses.

“Who?”

“Your boyfriend—Patrick,” Charlie replied with a smirk.

I stacked a few more glasses in my tray and hefted it onto my shoulder. “Who said he was my boyfriend?”

Charlie was wiping down the surfaces of the bar with hot, soapy water and gave a bark of laughter. “Happy and Sleepy say so. You’ve gone from Dopey to Happy, so I’m just wondering how long he’s planning on sticking around before Grumpy shows up.”

I flicked him a finger. “Piss off.”

Charlie laughed and polished up a tap. “He seemed a nice enough bloke. I was surprised he hasn’t come down again.”

“He’s a bit shy. Thinks that people won’t like him if he knocks a drink over or trips on a step,” I explained. “I don’t think he meant to get drunk when he came here last, just that he was nervous and tried for some Dutch courage.”

Charlie waited while I fetched a broom to sweep up. “Does it matter to you? About him spilling things and tripping up?”

“Nope,” I said emphatically. “I mean, I get upset if he’s upset, and pissed if someone laughs, but I don’t care if he has six fingers on one hand and turns purple with every full moon. He is who he is and that’s who I like.”

Charlie clapped me on the shoulder solidly as he sidled past me. “Good for you, Jake. I always enjoy seeing new love. Makes my old heart hope there’s a chance for me after all. I hope things work out for you both.”

He lifted an empty crate and disappeared out the back, leaving me stunned and oddly breathless.
There was that love word again.
Was it true? Was I in love with Patrick?

Nah
.
You can’t be. You’ve only known the guy a little while. How can it be love?

Patrick had told—ordered!—me to come to his house after work. I tried to refuse, telling him that I would wake him unnecessarily, but he had been firm. So at 2:03 a.m., I quietly unlocked his front door and re-armed the alarm before sneaking into the second bathroom for a shower. I had begun to leave a number of items of clothing at his house, washing my uniform in his machine along with his clothes so that I had clean jocks the next day after staying the night. Naked, I padded from the bathroom into the guest room where I had stowed my clothes in an empty drawer, and slipped into some boxers. Then I crept into Patrick’s room where he was breathing heavily, soundly asleep, and slipped under the covers next to his warm body.

His breathing didn’t once break its rhythm and two minutes later I was asleep too.

W
E
ARRIVED
at Ellie’s house a little later than the specified time of noon, only to find that we were the last ones to arrive. Ellie had not only invited Luke, but also Lizzy and Maria, so it was nearly a full family meeting for poor Patrick.

“Jake! Late as usual I see,” cried Ellie as we came around the back with Gregor in the lead.

“Steady on, Ells. We’re only a few minutes late and that was because we had to wait for the taxi to arrive.”

My explanation was cut short when Skylah squealed and came running. “He brought a dog. He brought a dog!” She rushed toward us and grabbed Gregor by his ears, placing kisses on his doggie forehead. “Oh, I love you, dog! You are just the most gorgeous thing! Mummy, can we get a dog like Patrick’s?”

All the adults laughed and Patrick leaned down to release Gregor from his harness, patting him on the head and explaining to Skylah that Gregor was a special dog who helped blind people get around. Skylah didn’t care and dragged an eager Gregor to the small patch of lawn, where she played merrily with him.

Soon we were seated around the backyard table with beers in our hands. Ellie fussed over Patrick, making sure he had everything he needed, asking whether he needed any special food items for lunch and offering to dash to the shops if he did. Luke shook hands enthusiastically with us both, giving me a bit of a nervous look. I squeezed his hand tight and glowered at him, and he looked relieved—as if he’d been waiting for it a while and the waiting was now over. Maria was a bit embarrassed by Patrick’s blindness and made a lot of weird faces at me that I didn’t understand. I pinched her arm and told her to behave.