The Black God's War (25 page)

“Narayani, he—” Aayu said, then stopped himself as if it was hard to say it. “Of course he cares about you. He’s doing what he believes is right for Pawelon.”

“Who would be left to care about me? You probably do more than anyone else I know. That’s depressing.”

“Don’t act like such a little girl.”

“I’m leaving.”

“Where?” Aayu pointed disbelievingly at the archway and the guards on the other side of it.

“Away from here. I’ll walk all the way back to Kannauj.” She began gathering up her medicines, pouring them back into their vials and pouches.

“You’re not going anywhere. Not with your father’s guards here.”

“I am, and because you won’t teach me your
sadhana
, I’ll probably be taken by bandits and killed.”

Dimples formed in Aayu’s cheeks as he smiled and shook his head.

“Why won’t you help me? No one else will. No one else even cares.”

“That’s absurd.”

She let out a scream and stomped her way over to the mound of pillows. She threw herself down and fought back her emotions.

“Hey, you should be better than that.”

“You don’t know how much I love him. What am I going to do when he gets himself killed?”

“He is my bhai. You think I want him to do this? We can try to talk him out of it, but don’t expect him to change his mind.”

I can’t believe I’m going to try to have a meaningful conversation with Aayu.
Narayani sat and looked up at her cousin. “Why do people always leave me? Am I cursed? I’m not an ugly person.”

“Of course you’re not. Don’t be so thick. Let’s think about what happens if Rao wins. We should be optimistic.”

“If he succeeds, he’ll be taken with all of his fame and admiration and won’t have any time for me at all.”

Aayu shook his head with another smirk. “No, he would have
more
time. We might be able to get out of here. If he goes through with this, he’s going to need our support.”

Narayani huffed out an aggravated breath.
All I ever do is support him … that gives me an idea.
“But, Aayu, I need your support.”

“What do you want from me?” His eyes doubted her, even as he grinned.

“We both know this could be the end.”

“But I don’t think it will be.”

“Well then, it won’t matter.” Narayani rubbed her fingers across her lips and chin, stalling. “Aayu, I need to learn your
sadhana
.”

Aayu’s eyes stretched wide, mocking her.

“When Rao fights him, I want to be close enough to see it with my own eyes.”

Still looking at her, he shook his head and made no effort to conceal his amazement. “No, Narayani. No.”

She pleaded with hurt eyes. “I love him. I love him more than I will ever be able to love anything or anyone else ever again.”

“You want to get yourself killed. What an idea.”

She clenched her fists and looked down at them, struggling not to collapse onto her back and give up on everything.

“I really do
care about you, Cousin.”

“I wouldn’t get close to them! I want to see him defeat their Haizzem. Then when he talks about it, I will know exactly what he did. I will always be able to share that with him if I am there to see it.”

“Be serious.” Aayu’s lips pressed together until they were thin.

“Let me love him. Let me be there for him. Please, that’s all I want. I want to be there with him. Please. I will bring my best medicines. If he’s harmed, I’ll revive him. I can do that for him. I will be there to make sure he gets whatever he needs.”

Aayu glared before looking away.

“Please try to understand how I feel. I am losing my sanity, Cousin. I don’t know who else to turn to. You are all I have now.”

Aayu tightened his already clenched jaw. She knew something was starting to get through to him, just a little.

“My father doesn’t even want to look at me after how many years since I last saw him. I just want to be there for Rao. Whatever happens, I
need
to be there for him. He is all I have, Aayu. What have I ever asked you for? You have to understand how important this is. No one else can help me. Even Rao doesn’t seem to care.”
I’m sorry to do this to you, Aayu.
“It makes me want to kill myself.”

“Don’t say that!”

“But I do. I am in a really bad state. This is the hardest thing I’ve ever been through. I need something to keep me going.” Narayani gritted her teeth. “Before I hurt myself. I’m really close to doing something.”

Aayu walked away, put his hands atop his head, and began pacing the room. He grunted through clenched teeth. With their history, Narayani knew that he would have to take her threat seriously.

After countless trips around the room, Aayu faced the curved outer wall and slammed his forehead against it—not with full force, but enough to be audible. He kept his head against the wall and grunted some more. Narayani remained quiet and gave him time.

He turned to her and started speaking in a loud voice. “Listen to me. If I were to even consider helping you with this, I would have very serious conditions—”

“Of course I would agree, Aayu. If you’d help me? I’d do anything you asked.”

Aayu took in a long breath through his nose and let out a longer one that sounded like the growl of a large animal. “You would stay far, far away from any large battle. And I never want to hear you talk about killing yourself again. Do you agree with me so far?”

“Aayu, I promise with all my heart and soul. I’m just asking you to help me do what
I
really need to do.”

“Do you agree completely and totally to the terms I just stated?”

“Yes, of course I do.”

“If you get hurt …”

“I won’t. I will stay far away from them. I promise. I just want to get a little bit closer so I can see whatever happens to him and be there in case he needs me.”

“And that’s the reason why I’m going to help you. If anything happens to Rao
and no Rezzians are near
, I want you to save him.” Aayu closed his eyes, relaxed his shoulders, and sighed.

He knelt before her, lowering one heavy leg after the other. “Before I teach you this mantra, I am going to impart an energy to you. It will help you to focus more than you’ve ever been able to focus. You will see what it’s like to have the mind of a sage.”

He touched her forehead, between her eyes, and a cool, burning sensation spread from that point, throughout her head. Narayani’s mind cleared of all thoughts and emotions. A pleasurable calm buzzed through her body. She simply sat. Nothing intruded: no analysis, no fears, nothing to protect, argue, or defend.

“Now repeat these words, out loud at first.” Nothing else existed but the sound of Aayu’s voice. “After you memorize them, see them in the center of your head, moving across your inner vision with a great light behind them …”

Chapter 35: The Ebon and the Moon

THE EMPTINESS OF MIDNIGHT in the desert seemed to tranquilize the Pawelon soldiers atop the high walls of the fortress. They gazed down into the widening canyon: a graveyard for men by day, where countless tiny creatures scurried at night, ignoring mankind. The walls lifted the men too high to smell the desert fragrances, but an occasional cool wind helped to keep them awake.

Indrajit felt no desire to interrupt their quiet as he walked past them. They deserved some moments of repose.

When he reached the center of the east-facing wall, he sent the four closest sentries away. While he waited for Briraji, the calm of night did nothing to penetrate the walls of his mind. Even after the day’s great victory and the capture of Strategos Duilio, he dwelled only on the coming retaliation, his fear of the Haizzem’s powers, and the guilt clawing around his insides.

“Their Strategos says little, General, and when he talks he lies.” Indrajit hadn’t heard Briraji coming. “He claims their southern force was only testing our defenses.”

Indrajit leaned forward against the wall and stared down at the canyon. “I wonder. The prince’s story indicates
he may have caused them to retreat, but I find that hard to believe. The Rezzians still had the numbers. They could have killed every man and marched to the citadel.”

“I don’t believe the Strategos, but I think our prince believes what he says. Though I suspect he’s deluding himself.”

“I don’t expect Rao to change his mind in the morning and I am quite sure the Rezzians will agree to his proposal. If Rao is killed, we will benefit from a perfect opportunity to inspire our troops before the onslaught.”

“And if he somehow wins the contest, it could turn the war in our favor.”

Indrajit agreed silently. “But I am afraid that could be the beginning of our next great problem.”

“What would that be?”

“The rise of Prince Rao as a hero who will exert great influence over his father, and therefore our army.”

Briraji made a sharp sucking sound. “I see your concern.”

The moon was bright. It would be full tomorrow. From this height, the boulders and shrubs of the canyon were like objects in the field of a child’s imagination. A sudden breeze swirled around them.

“Can you imagine him as our rajah? Taking meaningless orders from him, while he would fritter away our security?”

Briraji said nothing.

“In peacetime, he would be a fine ruler. But in all military matters, he would be a disaster. For how long have men ever known peace on Gallea?”

“I agree.”

“Then can I trust you completely?”

“Always, General. You know that I understand my place.”

Indrajit breathed a shallow breath. “We must be prepared for any potentiality, remembering that our duty is to our race and nation, not to any man. Whatever must be done to ensure our survival and independence, we must do. No one man, nor any boy, is more important than the whole of Pawelon. Forced to choose between one loyalty and the other, there can be no deliberation.” Indrajit leaned against the short wall, looked downward, and spit. “Only decisive action.”

“You command this army, General. I understand my place in it.”

“Loyalty such as yours is too rare.” Indrajit felt the weight of his contradiction after he’d said it. “I want you to be prepared for anything I might ask. You are a great sage and a great soldier. I will not forget your devotion.”

For the first time, Indrajit looked at Briraji, who nodded.

The old general gripped the ebon handle of his grandfather’s dagger sheathed inside his boot. He raised the tip of the polished steel to eye level and twisted it to catch the light of the moon, running one finger along its straight, blunt edge.

“Briraji, I may soon be in a position to reward you for your impeccable service.”

Chapter 36 To Honor the Black God

CAIO’S THROBBING SHOULDER and searing chest wound tortured him throughout his fitful sleep. The warpriests said the pain would dissipate by morning, thanks to their prayers, though they warned him his suffering might peak overnight. It did.

He awoke to an overwhelming scent, mystical
myrrha
, sweet and smoky. He rolled off the bed and onto his feet with a groan. A spasm of pain seized his chest.

Lord Oderigo?
he asked silently.
It’s finally time for me to transmit your prophecy?

No response.

He spoke softly, “Lord Oderigo, is this
myrrha
from you?”

No answer.

I believe I understand your message, my Lord.

The Book lay upon the dark wooden altar, wrapped with fresh vines. Caio willed his body toward it, breathing in deeply and embracing the pain. Before the altar, he bowed to the ten sacred objects symbolizing the gods. The two largest items honored his Lord and the goddess Mya; for the goddess, a conch shell, and for Oderigo, the very Book of Time.