The Big Sister - Part One (15 page)

“You know,” I said, cocking my head at her, “we never debriefed after I escorted your friend, Marcus.” Parker knew more about me than I would’ve preferred, and I realized that I knew virtually nothing about her.

“No need to,” she said briskly, snapping her ledger shut.

“Really?” I asked, surprised. “Why not? Aren’t you curious how it went?” I think I was even more surprised by the fact that Parker herself hadn’t brought it up before now. He was her old friend, after all, and she’d taken so much care in arranging the escort and personally introducing me to him.

“I think it’s safe to assume that all went well,” she said, leveling a look at me. “If it hadn’t, I would’ve heard about it.”

“So you haven’t heard from Marcus at all?” I asked, halfway disappointed. I would’ve at least hoped he’d been in contact with my boss to tell her I’d done well.

“No,” she said, the temperature in her voice dropping noticeably. I repressed an urge to shiver. Parker was very fair — generous, even — but I’d been wrong to try to get anything out of her about Marcus. He was evidently off limits. “You got want you wanted, didn’t you? Your brother going to St. Anthony’s?”

I tried not to wince. If only I were able to show a little more discretion around the club, like Parker. I kind of viewed everyone as a sort of extension of my family, however, and was pleased to share certain things about my life I was proud of — like Luke going to private school. I guess I just wanted at least the illusion of a community, to help myself not feel so alone in this place.

Even as I tried to justify my own failings, I felt immense guilt. Here I was, trying to find reasons for telling the truth about my life to people in my circle, and discouraging my brother from doing the same in his own life.

I thought again about what Adam had said — in fact, I couldn’t stop thinking about it. Was I the best person to raise Luke? I was trying my best, or at least I thought I was, but Luke’s actions and behaviors were still raising red flags with teachers. That meant I wasn’t doing things right. I wasn’t enough for him.

Did my brother need professional help, or counseling, as Adam had suggested? As much as I hated to admit it, my brother’s teacher was making a little more sense now that I had put some time and space between us. That still didn’t mean that I had to like him, though.

“Faith?”

I blinked and realized that I was standing like a fool in front of my boss. Parker was staring at me politely.

“Are you all right?” she asked. “You’ve been putting in a lot of hours lately. Are you sure you want to work this afternoon?”

“I definitely want to work,” I said, trying to pull myself together, trying to be as cool and composed as Parker. “And you said it — we do need help. There are too many customers here and not enough girls. Are you thinking about calling anyone else in?”

The corners of Parker’s mouth curled up. “How about you go get ready and let me worry about schedules, okay?”

“Fair enough,” I said, smiling back at her before hurrying off to the dressing room. There was money just waiting to be made here, and I needed the distraction from my thoughts. I wanted to lose myself to the music and the rhythm and the fantasy. I didn’t want to analyze my failings and Luke’s apparent downfall. My brother had stabbed a man. Of course he was torn up inside about it. He was too young to remember our real parents, or their deaths, but that event had left its mark on him all the same. Did he need counseling? Of course he needed counseling. But there were things that were too sensitive to discuss, things that would have repercussions that I couldn’t allow for Luke. I had to protect him, but I felt like I was backed into a corner. What was the best option?

I did a backward glance as I ducked into the dressing room and stopped. Sol was dancing on the stage, but instead of the pretty little smoldering pout we’d both practiced in front of mirrors, she was scowling fiercely. She looked like a warrior, like she was at battle with something that she wasn’t sure she could defeat. Even so, that look on her face told me that Sol wasn’t about to give up. Plus, it was turning on a lot of the customers. They were flocking up to the stage, waving handfuls of bills at her, trying to get her to give them just a little taste of that intensity.

Something was definitely going on with Sol, and I wasn’t altogether convinced that it was just man problems. Was it true that everyone you met was going through a problem much worse than you could imagine? I couldn’t imagine anyone with issues more serious than mine — a deteriorating brother who killed a man who’d raised him, and both of us orphans just holding on by a thread. When was that thread going to snap? I was sure Adam would have a good laugh at my expense when it did happen.

Not if. When.

Something needed to be done about my brother, but I wasn’t sure what. Preferring to focus on things that I could control, I got dressed in a flashy costume, did my hair and makeup as quickly as I could, and then gave Parker the thumbs up to get me in on the dancer rotation.

Just as I was making my way across the floor to the stage, something caught my eye. A flash of yellow as the front door opened — Adam!

I gasped and ducked into an alcove, desperate not to be seen. What was he doing here? Was he looking for me? That would be impossible — no one, least of all the private school my brother was attending, knew where I worked except for my boss, my coworkers, and Jennet. It was easier to keep it from Luke that way, easier to pretend that all the money I was making was a responsible, legitimate enterprise.

Guilt cut again through my panic. If Adam knew I worked here, he would only use it as leverage against me raising Luke. Almost everything I was doing here was perfectly legal in the state of Florida, but the stuff that happened during the escorting was subject to extreme judgment. The thought of Adam exacting judgment upon the choices I’d made to survive made me second guess myself, filled my head with doubts.

He couldn’t see me here. He couldn’t. I had to somehow make it back to the dressing room, just wait it out for a couple of hours, tell Parker that I wasn’t feeling well or something.

“Faith? You look like you’ve seen a ghost!”

I jumped out of my skin as Sol poked her head into my hiding spot. If she found me so easily, I couldn’t stay here. I needed to make a quick move to somewhere safer, somewhere away from the prying eyes of our customers — and my brother’s teacher.

“Are you all right?” Sol asked, taking me by the shoulders. “You look like you’re hiding from someone. Why would you have to hide from anyone?”

I shook my head quickly and dared to use my friend as a human shield, my eyes darting around the club. I let out a long breath. The guy with the blond buzz cut was seated at the table, but it definitely wasn’t Adam. The customer was too muscular, too thick in the neck, and it looked like someone had recently vented frustrations on his face.

“I thought I saw someone I knew,” I said, gently shrugging off Sol’s concern. “I didn’t really want them to know that I worked here. It would’ve brought up too many questions.” That was true enough, and hopefully it would stymie any questions that my friend had.

“Oh,” Sol said, craning her neck around to see if she could ferret out just whom I was afraid of. “What, like a boyfriend or something?”

I laughed. “Yeah, right. Like any of us have time for boyfriends.”

Sol looked like I’d socked her in the belly, and I remembered how she’d been crying in the dressing room, how our coworker had so casually remarked that it looked like boy trouble. I’d had so little experience with the other sex that I couldn’t imagine being so torn up about another person.

Then again, I sometimes felt like crouching in a corner and crying my eyes out about what had happened to my brother. It didn’t have to be romantic, those feelings. It just had to be about someone you loved.

“I mean, I wish I had time for one,” I said. Sol didn’t look convinced, so I tried to extend to her a small olive branch with a kernel of truth. “Okay, so I kind of kissed this guy, and he doesn’t know I work here, and I wasn’t planning on telling him I work here.”

Sol gasped and seemed to be trying very hard not to look delighted.

“But that’s wonderful,” she said. “You’ve never had a boyfriend.”

Well, when she said it like that, it sounded downright pathetic.

“He’s not really a boyfriend,” I said, shaking my head.

“Ah,” Sol said, nodding wisely. “Friends with benefits. Keep feelings out of it. Feelings only complicate matters.”

Everything about Adam was complicated — most of all that I was actually pretending there was something between us for the benefit of my friend. When was I going to be able to escape my tangle of lies?

“It’s not really a friends with benefits situation, either,” I said.

“Oh, so you actually like him,” Sol gushed. “So cute, Faith! But you’re going to have to tell him sooner or later that you work here. You can’t have a good relationship if you’re not honest with each other.”

I wish I could’ve come completely clean with Sol, but I just couldn’t. I would never want to be romantically interested in Adam, and I would always lie to protect my brother and our family.

“Let’s everyone welcome Faith to the stage,” Parker said, her voice all honey and dark things. “She’s enough to make you want to convert, isn’t she?”

“Break a leg,” Sol said, patting me on the shoulder. “We can talk more about your boyfriend later.”

The word “boyfriend” associated with Adam was almost too much to bear, but I forced a smile and nod and walked quickly to the stage. I was ready to dance these horrible feelings away, ready to lose myself and all my worries — if only for the length of a song.

My music began and I started the long strut down the catwalk, striking my heels on the wood with every beat.

Then, suddenly, there was Adam. Again.

My breath caught in my throat as I tried to keep my face in its sexy pout. There. Adam was sitting at a table just a few yards away from me. I double checked, squinting a little to overcome the bright spotlight trained on me, to make sure it wasn’t just the random blond guy from before, but he was still seated at the table I’d last seen him at, hooting and waving a handful of dollar bills at me.

I abruptly turned my back to the crowd and kept time with my hips, swaying them back and forth with little stomps to give everything a more tantalizing jiggle.

How was I going to escape? He would surely see me if I tried to make a run for it — if he hadn’t already recognized me as I danced down the stage. Anything I did at this point would only attract more attention — and suspicion. My only hope would be that he wouldn’t recognize me in full hair and makeup — and my skimpy little lingerie set.

Feeling like an idiot but trying to play it off, I started working my way toward the pole, not turning around. I dipped and glided, bending forward and gyrating to give everyone a really nice view of my rear — anything to keep anyone from looking at my face. I was sure that Parker was one of the only ones present wondering just what in the hell I was doing up here. Sol was probably taking notes on how to make an entrance. I’d have to tell her to scratch this performance from her memory.

The cool feeling of metal against my nearly bare back told me I had reached my destination, and I stretched my arms up to grab the pole. I took a quick swing around to gauge Adam’s distance from me. If he happened to have his back to me, all the better.

I racked my brain yet again as to what business Adam had at the club. I was very, very careful to only give contact information that linked either directly to my cell phone or to Jennet’s. If anyone at St. Anthony’s tried hard enough, they’d probably figure out that I wasn’t actually ever employed at the restaurant I claimed to be. But there was never any reason — until now. My brother’s behavior had given his teacher a reason to dig deeper, and as carefully as I had constructed my lies, in a hard enough assault, everything would come tumbling down.

Another thought occurred to me. Maybe Adam was just looking to get a quick fix of sexiness. Maybe he liked to pay a visit to the occasional club for entertainment purposes. Maybe he’d picked this club, out of all of the ones dotting the Miami streets, just on a whim. Maybe all of this was just some happy accident that could be laughed off or explained away. If he tried to skewer me over working here — I could say that I only did it on the side, not full time — I could skewer him over being here in the first place. We’d have to keep each other’s secret.