The Best Man (2 page)

Colin snorted. “Mindy hasn’t been a maid in a long time. Bet I’m the only bloke here she hasn’t shagged.”

Mindy turned to scowl at him. “Thank God Andrea came to her senses and decided to marry a real man.”

Colin chuckled. Beth plastered on a smile. “Okay the music is starting — everyone get in your places.” She tapped the shoulder of a small, dark-haired girl wearing an elaborate and uncomfortable-looking dress. “You’re on, sweetie. Big smile.”  She turned and waved to the next group. “Bridesmaids and groomsmen.”  She bit back a laugh at their dresses and nodded. “You all look lovely,” she lied. Andrea had clearly taken advantage of her ability to make her friends look like crap. “And now the maid of honor and the best man.”

Colin yanked Mindy by the arm. “Come on, trollop of honor.”

“Jackass,” Mindy whispered loudly, before pasting on a toothy smile and marching down the aisle.

Beth watched them for only a second. The potential for trouble from the best man was clear, but she had things under control. She turned to give the bride a big smile. “You look stunning,” she gushed. When everyone was in place, she signaled to the organist to play the march and sent Andrea and her father up the aisle. Then she dialed Eli’s number.

“Hello there,” he answered, “I assume the Pratt Wedding is going splendidly.”

“Give me the story, Eli. Now.”

“Whatever do you mean?”

“Eli, I’m in no mood for the games. Tell me what I need to know or I will start sending your assistants to the downtown dry cleaner.”

Eli gasped. “You wouldn’t. They turned my favorite Ralph Lauren jacket a hideous shade of green.”

“I would.”

“Fine. The bride was engaged to the little brother. He brought her home to meet the family and she apparently decided she likes her men a little taller and a lot dumber. She ditched him for the big lug, but no one told him that was why she’d called things off until last week. Oh, and she kept all the wedding reservations she’d made with brother number one to use with brother number two. Vicious, but practical. Someone should give that woman a reality show. … I smell a hit.”

“Why is he standing up as best man?”

“Daddy doesn’t take no for an answer, I guess. I wouldn’t worry about him making a scene though, he’s the quiet type. A writer or a professor maybe … something about Oxford … I don’t remember. The point is: he’s the responsible type, like you.”

“Right. Anything else?”

“Nope. That’s the whole sordid tale as far as I know. Now stop worrying and go run a wedding so I can get the rave reviews I need to consider your promotion.”

“There’s nothing to consider, Eli. You already agreed to make me a full partner after this wedding.”

“We’ll talk when I hear they got hitched without a hitch. Now, let me get back to my facial.”

Beth hung up and returned to the chapel doorway to watch the ceremony. The bride and groom both liked to hear themselves talk, and had chosen vows that allowed them to indulge that interest. Her gaze wandered back to the best man; she felt bad for him. Colin didn’t belong at this wedding.

He wanted to make scene. Fair or not, it was her job to stop him.

BETH SAW THE NEWLYWEDS
into their limo and made sure Tony was handing out directions to the reception site before tracking down the groomsmen. She stopped Colin. “We have a ride for you, Mr. Best Man.”

Colin grinned. “Thief! Don’t think I won’t call Scotland Yard on you just ’cause you’re gorgeous.” He held out his hand. “Give me back my thingy.”

One of the groomsmen leaned out of the car and laughed. “What did she steal from you, bro?”

Colin frowned. “Something … my car or … my heart … a guitar?”

Beth tapped the top of the car. “Okay. We’re all set, guys. See you at the reception. No stops on the way.”

She turned back to Colin. “You’re riding with me.” She led him to Tony’s car, opened the door, and pulled out a coat hanger. “Give me your jacket.”

“Why?”

“I’m going to hang it so it doesn’t get wrinkled during the drive.”

He stared at her with a slightly mystified look before shrugging out of his jacket. He handed it to her after pulling a mini bottle of rum out of his pocket.

Beth sighed and reached for it. “Where did you get that?”

He held it up above his head. “I’ve got methods … methods that aren’t fit for your little ears.”

“You got it from one of the groomsmen. He stocked up on the plane.”

“You don’t know that.”

Beth rolled her eyes. “Just get in the car so I can take you to the reception.”

“The reception! That’s right. I’m still working on my speech. I need a line that rhymes with scurrilous bitch.”

Quiet and responsible, that was how Eli had described the best man. Beth couldn’t help looking for hidden cameras. She was being
Punk’d,
and any moment Ashton Kutcher would pop out from behind a bush, thank her for being a good sport, and offer to introduce her to his hot Hollywood friends. A girl could dream, right?

Instead, she got Tony. She sighed and guided Colin into the backseat.

Tony, dressed in his backup shirt, looked from Beth to Colin and back again. “What’s going on, Great Leader?”

“Mr. Pratt —”

Colin yelled from inside the car. “I’ve been arrested by the wedding police.”

“Mr. Pratt is riding with us so I can help him with his toast.”

Tony shrugged and climbed into the driver’s seat.

Beth sat on the backseat beside Colin. “Mr. Pratt, I understand this is a difficult day for you. I’m sorry. But, I can’t let you call your new sister-in-law a … anything unpleasant.”

“She is unpleasant. Don’t know what I ever saw in her.” He shrugged and his eyes got watery. “Except, she’s beautiful. Should’ve known she wouldn’t want to get stuck with me, right? Not when she could have someone like Hunter.”

He looked like a puppy that’d just been kicked. Beth melted. “I don’t know why Andrea did what she did. All I know is today they got married and you agreed to be the best man. It might not be fair, but it means you have responsibilities, like saying a nice toast.”

“George Sand quite famously said, ‘There is only one happiness in life, to love and be loved.’ I believe this is eternally true. Please raise your glasses and join me in wishing this happiness for my brother and his bride.”

Beth’s jaw dropped and she stared at him for a moment. “Um … yeah, that will work. That’s lovely.”

Colin looked out the window.

He was being quiet and responsible. She should’ve been thrilled. Instead it made her a little sad. She
g
ave his shoulder a tentative pat. “It’s only a few more hours, and then I’ll be out of your hair.”

He didn’t respond, or say much of anything for the rest of the ride. When they arrived, he murmured a thank you and rejoined the groomsmen. Beth, with Hunter’s incredibly demanding mother at her side, was soon busy fixing a dozen small problems. She checked in with the band and the caterer, made sure the photographer had everything she needed, and had almost forgotten about Colin’s earlier antics by the time he delivered his brief but uneventful toast. Beth made one very crucial mistake: she forgot to ask the bartender to go easy on Colin’s drinks.

“Dance with me, tiny thief,” Colin said.

Beth chuckled. “I’m working, Colin. Go dance with one of the bridesmaids.”

“Why don’t you dance with one of the bridesmaids and I’ll watch.” He winked.

She took the glass from his hand and placed it on the tray of a passing waitress. “Have you tried the cappuccinos? I’ve been hearing great things.”
             

“I’ve been thinking about giving another toast. Hunter’s cock is a lot smaller than mine. I think people would want to know that. Also, Andrea is three years older than she claims and I’m fairly certain her accent is a fake. It’s bloody hard to find a word to rhyme with mockney. Think I could cheat in an extra syllable somewhere?”

“Colin.” Beth straightened her shoulders. “You’re not going to give another toast.”

“Their first dance was to a song she called ours on our third date.”

Beth winced. “That’s …”

Colin pointed to the band. The lead singer nodded and started a new song. Colin smirked. “They’re playin’ our song, love. Dance with me or I find a microphone.”

“What is this?” Beth looked towards the band and grimaced.

The lead singer pointed at her and thrust his hips in her direction. He proceeded to sing a corny tune Beth remembered playing during the credits of a nineties’ teen drama. Colin tugged her closer. “I told him to pick something romantic. I was thinking perhaps Nat King Cole, maybe some Sinatra. This is also a fine selection.”

She relented with a laugh. “One dance. Then I have to get back to work.”

His arm slid around her waist and pulled her body close. He rested his chin against her head as though they’d danced together a dozen times before.

Beth heard him humming along with the music as they swayed and she smiled.

It was a bad idea. She was always careful to avoid being too friendly with the wedding party or their guests. Still, she couldn’t bring herself to push him away. The man was having a truly rough week and he’d given a good toast. One dance wasn’t too much to ask. She was professional enough to ignore the unexpected pleasure of being wrapped in his arms.

“I wasn’t going to steal the cake, you know.”

Beth pulled back slightly and looked at him with an arched brow. “What are you talking about?”

“I was just planning on writing a wee message in the frosting. Cake boy didn’t have to get all worked up.”

“What did you do?”

“Nothing! I was wheeling it into better light when he came at me with a wooden spoon. I had a nanny hit me with a spoon once -- didn’t like it.”

“You’re a handful, Colin Pratt.”

He grinned. “Your hands are tiny. I’m at least two handfuls.”

“That’s … nice. Was the photographer finished with you?”

“The photographer is an ogre. I choose not to associate with his type.”

Beth sighed. “Colin, the photographer is a woman.”

His eyes widened. “That explains a lot.”

“Do I want to know?”

He sighed heavily. “Why are we talking about me? Tell me more about you.”

“I’d like to survive this wedding with my job intact. That means I need you to stop doing shots of … what are you drinking?”

Colin shrugged. “It’s blue.”

“Okay. I need you to stop drinking that and try the coffee. Also, maybe you could eat something and … it’s probably best if you stay away from the bridesmaids.”

“Why would I want those daft tarts when I have you?”

Beth frowned. “Colin, you do realize that I’m not your —”

He placed a finger over her lips. “Shh. Did you know that if you cut a sea star in half it will grow new legs?”

“I’ve heard that.”

He frowned and grabbed her shoulders. “But why do you want to cut them in half? They didn’t mean to scare the fishes.”

“I’m not going to cut any starfish. The song’s done, and I’ve got to get back to work.” She gave him a big smile as she removed his hands from her shoulders.

“We didn’t do the dip.”

“It wasn’t really that type of song.” Beth scanned the room. “It looks like they need my help over there.” She pointed vaguely to the other side of the room and hoped he didn’t ask questions. She was there to work, not enjoy Colin’s antics.

His lips curved downward, but he let her go without argument.

Beth shook her head, watched him strut across the room, and went to find Tony. It was definitely his turn to supervise the best man.

Beth’s phone vibrated with a 911 text from her assistant a mere forty minutes later.

Tony was no match for Colin. Her assistant was better suited to cleaning than crisis management. And coffee. Tony was a coffee-making magician.  

“I tried, Miss Chase. I really did. But he’s impossible.”

“What’s the problem?”

“He told the flower girl her mother was an alien and that she was only waiting for the girl to get big enough to eat.”

Beth stared at Tony for a moment, stifling a giggle. “I’ll handle it. You go tell the band they need to play an extra hour. The Pratts are extending their reception.”

Tony nodded and hurried off.

Beth found Colin sitting on the floor in the lobby of the reception hall, hiding behind a large, potted palm tree. “You can’t terrorize the flower girl. She’ll probably have nightmares now.”

Colin laughed. “That girl eats nightmares for breakfast. She’s the thing nightmares fear. They probably think she hides beneath their beds.”

“Mr. Pratt, I think it’s time we get you a taxi. Which hotel are you staying at?”

“Call me Colin.”

Beth tried again. After nearly thirty minutes and another dance, she finally succeeded in getting Colin into a cab. She handed him a bottle of water as he got in the cab. “Drink the entire bottle before you go to sleep. Goodbye, Colin.”