The Berserker and the Pedant (16 page)

The world dimmed. The orbs of fire and ice fell to the ground, dark. Light from all around bent and twisted into the orb of light, which began to glow with white-hot intensity. Moog turned towards Arthur. Moog had the mournful, shamed look of a puppy whose master had been unfailingly kind but had suddenly, and without reason, struck him. In a quiet, squeaky voice, he said, "Moog?"

A beam the thickness of a spider's thread and bright as a reflection of the noonday sun shot from the orb for a fraction of a fraction of a moment. A tiny hole, insignificant in size but grand in import, seared into Moog's head. A wisp of smoke curled into the air. Moog fell to the ground, dead.

The tentacled creatures swarmed around Arthur, staying a foot from him. The ground was a writhing pink blanket. Arthur picked the fallen orbs of fire and ice off the ground, fiddled with them, and sent them spinning around his head again. He walked over to Moog, the blanket undulating out of his way as he walked. He picked up the orb of lightning next to Moog's corpse and set it spinning over his head next to the others. Then Arthur fiddled with the orb of light.

On the surface of the orb was the image of Moog with the words "Delete backup? Yes. No."

"Yes," Arthur said, "The enemies of the Phage shall not rise again." The picture of Moog faded and vanished. A picture of Gurken faded into view. "Yes," said Arthur. 

Melody. "Yes." 

Arthur. "Yes." 

Pellonia. "Yes." 

Pellonia's face faded. Arthur set the orb to spinning around his head and walked away. As if following some unspoken command, the hot, moist blanket of pink creatures slithered under him, lifting him off the ground and carrying him, still standing, toward the alien ship.

"Where are those goblins?" Durstin bellowed. "Dwarves are dying in droves!"

"I-I don't know," Melody said.

"That's it, we're done. I'm calling a full retreat and pulling out. Even if they show up now, it's too late. If you're smart, you'll get to the ship now too," said Durstin. His image faded.

"Pellonia," Melody whispered, looking the way Pellonia had run. "Come on, where are you?"

A tentacle reached over the cliff and stuck to the ground. The tentacle was covered in a thick, viscous liquid. The creature pulled itself up over the cliff, just feet from Melody. Melody stabbed at the Orb and a glimmering dome formed over her. The creature leapt at her and dissolved when it hit the barrier. Two more pulled themselves up and leapt. The first struck and sizzled like eggs in hot oil, sliding down the barrier. The second stuck and walked on top of the dome, looking for an entrance. Small wisps of smoke rose from its feet. More creatures came over the cliff and swarmed towards her.

"Melody!" Pellonia shouted, running over the hill.

Melody stuck her hand in the air, palm towards Pellonia. "Wait!" she shouted. Pellonia didn't hear her and ran straight for the barrier. Melody's eyes grew wide with panic. She stabbed quickly at the orb and two beams of light descended from the heavens over her and Pellonia. The barrier dropped and Melody and Pellonia rose into the air.

The creatures leapt towards Melody, tentacles outstretched, straining to latch onto an arm, a leg, anything. They missed, falling to the ground. More creatures piled on top of one another, followed by swarms of others, forming an enormous pyramid of writhing, sticky pink flesh. The topmost creature sprung skyward, straining to reach Melody. Melody curled into a fetal position as she flung skyward, trying to pull herself out of its reach, but the creature latched one tentacle onto her shoe and pulled itself up. Melody and the creature flew out of sight.

Pellonia looked down and saw herselves fleeing the tentacled creatures, then she, too, was pulled away and could see no more.

Episode Seventeen

The Berserker and the Pedant

Pellonia came up the side of the cliff in time to watch as Melody and Pellonia rose into the heavens on a beam of light.

Farewell Pellonia
, thought Pellonia.

The other three Pellonias walked up beside her, out of breath from the hike, and looked up, watching her rise away. They heard an ominous slurp-pop, slurp-pop and looked to see a pink tentacled thing falling off the head of their stuffed goblin. The goblin's eyes turned green and it bared it's teeth in an evil grin and waddled towards them, cackling as it came. 

The goblin lost it's footing. It tripped and the Pellonias watched as it rolled down the hill, picking up speed as it went, bumping over rocks and flying off the cliff.

Another dozen tiny pink tentacled things swarmed toward them. Pellonia screamed and ran. The other Pellonias watched her run and decided that Pellonia was most decidedly correct, and ran away as well. They split up, running in different directions.

Pellonia ran down the hill and into a swarm of tentacles slurp-popping their way up. Surrounded, she curled into a ball and covered her head with her hands. The tentacled forms swarmed over her, clutching and pulling at her limbs until they managed to force them apart. One latched onto her head.

Pellonia ran to the cliff face and climbed down. She found a small outcropping of rocks on which to rest. A tentacled creature fell on her head from above.

Pellonia ran along the cliff, hoping to run through the creatures, which immediately grabbed her, pulled her down and latched on to her head.

Pellonia ran to the Orb of Skzd, pursued by six writhing tentacles lunging ever closer. She reached the Orb, frantically pushing at the protrusions with words next to them. The tentacled creatures slowed and crawled toward her, as if to prolong and savor the moment. Five of the creatures formed a ring around her and the sixth moved in. 

As Pellonia stabbed at the Orb of Skzd, it projected a disc of light between her and the creatures. An axe swung through the portal and cleaved one of the tentacled creatures in two. Sowilo, the dwarfen rune of success, goals achieved and honor, blazed upon the axe's head. The creature burst into flames and screamed as it writhed and shriveled.

"Greetings, Pellonia," Gurken said, stepping through the disc and heaving the axe over one shoulder. "My apologies for being late. Goblins are exceedingly poor marchers. It was slow work to get them there."

Goblins swarmed through the portal and attacked. They stabbed at the tentacles with spears, missing as the creatures leapt upon their heads, latching onto the goblins' faces. Five goblins' eyes turned green as the tentacled creatures fell off, slurp-pop, slurp-pop. The goblins cackled, exposing their pointed teeth and a tentacle twisting where their tongue once lay.

One of the green-eyed goblins slipped and hit it's head on a rock. It died. The goblins, both those controlled by the creatures and those free from their control, watched him fall. They turned on each other and wrestled. Goblins died so quickly, it was difficult to keep track of which was controlled and which was not. In a moment's time, ten goblins and five tentacled corpses lay on the hillside.

Gurken surveyed the battle in valley from the side of the cliff, next to the Orb of Skzd. 

"Pellonia, I think it time you took the orb and returned to the temple."

"I'd like to stay with you."

"We must complete our quest. I will follow after the battle."

Pellonia nodded. She wrapped Gurken in an enormous hug and said farewell. She put a hand over the orb and pressed a few of the protrusions. A portal opened with some rather startled priests standing on the other end. Pellonia pushed the Orb through to the temple and the portal closed behind her.

Gurken turned back to the valley. The fleshy pink creatures swarmed as far as he could see, their tentacles wrapping around anything that moved. Gurken turned and looked at the two dozen goblin leaders, clad in fur and feathers, assembled before him, standing in a neat row and waiting for his command. Behind them, tens, if not hundreds of thousands, of goblins formed a chaotic bumpy red blanket over the mountain.

One of the goblins' leaders, a Gr-ma named La, stepped forward. "Now?" she asked.

"Now," Gurken answered.

La turned and let loose a battle cry, a howling cackle that echoed down the mountain. The other leaders turned and shouted hoots and caws and growls. Everything grew silent, the wind howled, leaves rustled, a cricket buzzed, then the mountain erupted in a roar and the ground trembled as goblins screamed and charged down the mountain.

Gurken was covered in pink slime. His axe was heavy from hacking and hewing tentacles, his legs cramped and sore from running from one foe to the next. He was exhausted. It seemed he'd been fighting for years, though it was, perhaps, several hours. 

Another of the foul tentacled beasts leapt at his head. He was too tired to move away. Laguz, the dwarfen rune of imagination and psychic matters, blazed on the head of his axe. The creature landed on a barrier of invisible force inches from his head. Gurken pulled the creature off with one hand, set it on the ground, and crushed it under heel.

Gimnur Hammerfist - the dwarven babysitter sent by the temple of Durstin to watch over the trio only to be killed by giant ants - walked up to Gurken.

"The dwarves have had it," he said. "We've had a better time of it since the goblins joined, but there are too many of these beasts and too few of us left. If only…" Gimnur trailed off.

Gurken nodded. "If only I'd been here sooner."

Twenty more tentacled things charged and were intercepted by goblins. The goblins stabbed with spears, killing several before the rest latched onto their heads. The goblins under the control of the creatures attacked the goblins not under their control. Ten goblins under control of the creatures came away from the skirmish. Two dwarves ran over and hacked at them. The goblins died quickly, but not before one of the dwarves was killed by an errant goblin spear.

"Twenty tentacles become eighteen controlled goblins," Gimnur said. "Eighteen controlled goblins become ten controlled goblins after fighting other goblins. Ten controlled goblins manage to kill one dwarf. You've got to hand it to those elves, that's quite the efficient plan. Before you arrived, twenty of those foul creatures were killing thirty good dwarves."