The Beginning—A Duet: Ryder & Two Worlds Colliding (31 page)

Had I made the wrong choice . . . I shuddered at the thought.

Hopefully one of the guest rooms was available, because I had to be alone with Jade. It couldn’t wait a minute longer. I had to tell her how I felt about her.
Claim her back as my woman.
Yeah.

“It’s your fucking lucky night I reserved one of the guest rooms for myself tonight. Take it. I know when I’m beaten.” Cowboy was fucking smarter than what I’d given him credit for. He withdrew a key card from his shirt pocket. “Here. Take the elevator to room 314. It’s all yours till the morning.”

I snatched the white plastic card from his hand and shot him a warning glance. He was still not off the hook—I'd keep a fucking eye on him, in case he got any ideas that
my Princess
was fair game. I wasn’t taking any chances again. I'd learned my lesson the fucking hard way.

B
eaming from fucking ear to ear, I couldn’t take my eyes—or hands—off Jade as we traveled up in the elevator, but I knew I had a lot of explaining to do, and that she wasn’t going to let me off lightly. After what I’d put her through, and the agony of still not knowing if she would take me back, I needed answers. I was going to have to bring my A-game tonight.

Jade had agreed to accompany me to the guest room, but that was no guarantee that I was home-free. No, I got the impression that she was that eager to get out of the claustrophobically small security room with the strange view, and that she would have agreed to anything if it meant her freedom.

That’s exactly why I was holding on to her arm with a steel-like grip as I steered her toward room 314. She’d bolted before; I wouldn’t be surprised if she tried it again. And fuck, I was getting tired of the cat-and-mouse game. I just wanted for us to be together. For-fucking-ever, and be done. The mechanics of how and where were less important than the reason why.

As I swiped the card, she stood at the door, rigid and unsmiling.

“This is a mistake. Thank you for saving me from an asshole again; it seems you are always there just when I need you most. But I must leave now. I just can't do this.”

“
Princess
,” I breathed, my heart sinking all the way to my heavy boots.

“Please don’t stop me. It’s best this way.” She stood on her toes and planted a soft kiss on my cheek. Then she turned and walked away. The elevator doors were still open, so she walked straight in and pushed the button. Her words had frozen me to the spot.

Please don’t stop me. It’s best this way.

How could I disrespect her wish? Fuck. What the hell was I supposed to do? Watch her walk away?

Before I could move or say anything the doors closed. The sadness in her eyes was the last thing I saw.
Fuck
. Did that mean she didn't love me anymore?

Yes, our worlds were completely different.

Yes, they had collided—badly.

Yes, we were up against the worst kind of odds—our very own families—who were tearing us apart. Not to mention my own special brand of stupidity.

Fuck that shit.

It was time for Ryder Knox to fight for what he truly wanted. To fight for love, and happiness. To the very fucking end.

If Jade didn't love me anymore, I wanted to hear her say those words directly to me. I was done with the fear of losing her driving me to deny myself what my heart desired most. Why the hell did humans do that to themselves? Christ, I was my own worst fucking enemy.

It took me another ten seconds to mobilize myself. I flew down the stairs, two at a time. I had to stop her. I had to fight for her.

She was my woman, and she was worth fighting for.

Hell yeah.

I reached the bottom of the stairs and darted toward the elevator.
Empty.
Fuck.

Frantic, I ran around the lobby, trying to find where she’d gone. There was no time to waste. I needed to stop her, to tell her how much I loved her, even if she didn't love me, so that she could know she owned my heart . . . and my soul.

What she did with that knowledge would be up to her.

Out on the sidewalk, there was nothing but the normal city buzz. My throat tightened when I noticed the cab further down pulling away from the curb. There was nothing I could do. By the time I got to my bike, she’d be far away. I didn't even know where she’d go to. Mia had mentioned in passing that she’d moved out of her parent’s home.

I stood there, my heart shredded. Yeah, typical. Just when I’d thought things were looking up, they turned to shit. Why did it always fucking happen to me? I ran my fingers through my hair, suddenly tired as fuck. I was wiped out from the long journey I’d just returned from days ago. Wiped out from lack of sleep and worry. Wiped out that I'd lost the one thing that mattered to me most in life.

I’d lost everything, because Jade was all that I ever wanted. She made me whole.

I
had finally come to the darkest night in my life. Everything had collided and combusted; only embers were left burning.

Deflated, and tired to the bone, I remembered that in my mad dash to get to Jade, I'd left the guest room door wide open. Depleted, I shook my head and decided to get back up there and sleep off my fatigue, so that I’d be ready to make new plans in the morning. I knew that everything that seemed insurmountable in the darkness of the night somehow wouldn't appear as big an obstacle in the daylight.

Too shattered to care about anything, I rode the elevator back up to the third floor. It’d be too hard to even find my way back to the compound, so I was staying the night. I closed the door. The room was dark, but I couldn’t be bothered to find the light switch.

I pulled my boots off my feet at the entrance and threw them into the corner, and went in search of the bed. I needed to sleep. An exhaustion had come over me, like I'd never felt before. I simply couldn’t care about anything now that Jade had walked out of my life.

“Ryder?” Her voice floated softly across the quiet darkness.

Fuck. Now I was hallucinating. And I hadn’t touched a drop of booze or any substance, which meant that I was in a worse shape than I’d imagined. My eyes slowly adjusting to the darkness, I stumbled against what I presumed was the bed. I needed to lie down and close my fucking eyes.

I fell onto the bed, face first, arms stretched out.

“Ryder!” Her voice was louder; it sounded so fucking real I could scream. Princess was tormenting me, fucking with my mind. At this rate it would be impossible to fall asleep if I kept hearing her voice.

A soft hand on my shoulder made me jump.
Fuck!

Never having believed in ghosts, I grabbed blindly in the direction of the voice, only to hear her laugh softly. I was definitely losing my mind. Jesus fucking Christ.

“You’re crazy,” the sweet voice whispered. Fuck, I couldn’t agree more. I was positively certifiable.

Her soft curves pressed into my hard body. I could even smell her. If this was indeed a dream, I didn't want to wake up. Ever.

“Go to sleep, baby, you’re so tired. Just go to sleep,” she whispered as she stroked my hair. Somewhere between consciousness and sleep, I knew this was real.

So this is what an out-of-body experience feels like.

She was here. I didn't know why or how. She was holding me, caressing me.

Loving me.

I was home.

***

I
woke in the middle of the night with my body curled around Jade’s softness. At first I thought it was all part of the dream I’d had earlier. I stroked her hair, and kissed her neck. She moaned softly in her sleep.

She was fucking real.

We were both fully clothed, but it was good to just hold her. I had no idea that I could feel so much at peace by just having my woman in my arms.

Now that I’d had some sleep, I was feeling better. My eyes had adjusted to the darkness, and I could see Jade’s beautiful face in the light of the moon, her long lashes sweeping across her cheeks and her lips curved into a semi-smile even as she slept.

She stirred against me, opening her eyes, she looked straight at me. We stared in wonder at one another. Yes, we needed to talk, but right now, words were not needed. Even though we both understood just how difficult our lives could become if we chose to do this, we had to decide if it was what we really wanted—and then just go for it. Together. There was no other way.

Without a doubt, I was in. One hundred percent.

R
yder was staring at me in a way he’d never looked at me before. Usually his eyes were filled with lust, but now there was something different there. He let me look deep into his soul. Up until tonight he’d been pretty guarded, and he’d always kept his eyes hooded, to prevent anyone from seeing in. It was a protection mechanism that I’d seen Harrison use too, so I was very aware of it. It was simply their way of hiding their pain to the rest of the world.

Letting me see into his soul was a big deal for Ryder. He was so used to acting tough and ruthless all the time, never wanting to show weakness in case it was used against him, that it must have become a hard habit to break.

Maybe it was because he felt safe and loved that he was now willing to open up to me. It made me love him even more, knowing how hard it was for him to do.

“Hi,” I whispered into the dark. We were the only two people here, yet it felt wrong to speak loudly. It would break the magic of the moment.

“You came back. You didn't run.” Ryder’s voice was filled with wonder. Reverence even.

I nodded, a big lump in my throat. He kissed my forehead, softly, gently.

“Why, Princess? Why did you come back?”

“Because . . . because even though I know our worlds are so different . . . and it will be hard on us both . . . not to mention our families . . .
I want us
.” Ryder was a straightforward man, so I gave it to him straight.

He sighed. “Yeah, I know. But it will be worth it, don’t you think?”

I thought about his words before answering. It was flattering that he thought so. My heart swelled, and filled with so much love for this man that it was close to bursting.

“Yes, I guess so,” I replied carefully.

“Fuck, Princess. Here I’m ready to bust my balls and do battle for you, and all you can say is ‘I guess so’?”

I couldn’t help myself—a small giggle escaped my lips. My Ryder was back. The man who spoke his mind, and said what he thought in no uncertain terms.

God, I loved him.

“You’ll fight for me?” I asked, needing to reassure myself that I’d understood his intentions correctly.

“Fuck yeah . . . to the death, Princess. Because life without you ain't worth a damn.”

“Really?” I breathed.

A smile twitched at the corners of his lips. “Yeah, really. I want to be with you till the last breath leaves my body.”

Those words from this man’s lips were so beautiful—exactly what I needed to hear.

Small circles rubbed up and down my back, making me go limp in Ryder's arms, but he had to clarify many things before I was satisfied. Especially after what he’d said before he left.

“Why the change of heart now, Ryder? What changed?”

He grinned sheepishly. “Woman, you are fucking exasperating. Cross-examining the witness till you have your answers.”

“I need to know, Ryder, otherwise I’ll always wonder. So if you tell me straight up, that eliminates a lot of second guessing.”

“Christ. I’ve often thought that you’d be the best lawyer in the state. But I was wrong.”

“What?” I asked, shocked at his words.

He chuckled. “Because you’re gonna be the best fucking attorney in the country.”

I laughed. “Pressure much? But that may just mean I’d have to prosecute your biker ass.”

“Not if I’m your husband. I won't allow it.”

I sucked in a breath.
What did he mean?

“Yeah, don’t look so surprised. Cause I ain't ever letting you go after tonight. Deal with it.” His eyes were serious, not a trace of mockery to be seen.

“’The Princess and the Badass Biker’. I can just see that headline in the papers.” I joked, keeping it light. I didn't want Ryder to run scared if I used the L word again—certainly not like the way he bolted the last time I’d told him I loved him.

“You gave up on us, Princess. That hurt,” he said, taking me completely by surprise. Wasn’t he the one who walked away? He left the city and rode his bike more than a thousand miles to get away from me. Talk about hurting.

“Why do you say that?”

“Going off with Cowboy. You were going to let him fuck you if I didn't get there in time to stop it. Fuck, I'm going to spank that ass for putting me through such agony.”

My core clenched at the thought. A spanking from Ryder was erotic, and even though it hurt, he made good afterwards. I’d even risk his ire from time to time just to get a good spanking. Somehow it made the sex afterward even better, running the thin line between pain and pleasure.

“You were the one who didn't want me. You said so yourself.”

“
Baby
. I’ve wanted you from the first moment I laid fucking eyes on you. The bossy bitch who looked down her pretty little nose at me was sexy beyond belief. You had me from day one, my Princess.”

“I did? You could have fooled me.”

“My cock knew even then—though my heart didn't at the time.”

“Your heart?” I placed my fingertips over his heart. It was beating faster than normal. So was mine. It was beating so hard I was surprised I hadn’t broken a few ribs in the process.

“My heart’s a bit rusty, baby. It didn't know how much I loved you until I thought you’d moved on.”

“You love me?” I whispered.

“Quit the question time. You heard me.” The mischievous glint in his eyes was making my toes curl. How hard was it for him to say the three words again? I’d have to use all my lawyer skills to draw it out of him.
Ahhh, men.

“I'm not sure what exactly I heard. I may have misunderstood. Just want to make sure we are on the same page here.” I coaxed.

“As long as it’s
my
page, I can live with it.” He smirked.