The Battle Within (21 page)

But…now what? She was getting married in a week.

Chapter 24

Roman and Sandy left.

Franklin and April left.

Bridget walked past Vicky on her way out of the small powder room, and Vicky grabbed her arm, “You need to get the hell out of this house. It would not be good for your health if I catch you sniffing around my husband, my family or
anywhere
in my peripheral. I won’t be nearly as calm or responsible for my actions.”

Bridget snatched her arm back, “I don’t respond well to ghetto hoodrat threats.”

“It just kills you doesn’t it? It kills you that Jason not only married a
ghetto hoodrat
as you call it, but he also had a baby with one. That means with all of your breeding you still couln’t rise to even my
hoodrat
level.”

Jason stepped in before things got any more out of control, “Bridget, you need to leave.”

She pushed past both of them to find her parents so they could get the out of the Rutherford’s house.

Troy put his hands in his pockets and rocked back and forth on his heels. “Well, nobody needed my services, so I’m pretty sure we can all chalk this up to being a successful evening.”

Andrea sort of giggled but stopped when she saw the look on Vicky and Jason’s face.

Vicky and Jason didn’t find his comment amusing. They walked out of the bathroom to try and explain all the commotion to his parents.

He smiled at her, “Tough crowd.”

“My goodness…I’ve never seen Sandra or Vicky this way. Remind me never to do something against the men they love.”

“True. When you say the men they love, I know who you’re referring to when you talk about Vicky. But, your cousin? I’m not so sure.”

“Honestly, me either. And, I just realized my ride is gone.”

“Yeah…mine too. Maybe we can share a cab or something.”

*****

Roman and Sandra were standing outside the Rutherford’s waiting for the valet to bring their car.

Sandy tried to touch his arm, “Roman…”

“Don’t. I don’t want to hear it.”

“We’ve got to talk.”

“Not here. I think you’ve embarrassed me enough for one night.”

The car pulled up, and when the valet opened the door, he almost pushed her inside.

They drove along in silence for most of the way home.

Sandy didn’t speak until they pulled up in front of their home. Softly she said, “Roman, I’m sorry. I didn’t sleep with Franklin. I promise you I didn’t but…April…she…”

He yelled at the top of his lungs, “Do you honestly think I give a damn about April and Franklin! I don’t give a
shit
about either of them. What I care about is my fiancé…the woman I’m supposed to marry in a week had a catfight over a man that wasn’t me.
NOW THAT
…I care about!”

The car door opened. Sandy got out, but Roman didn’t. He spoke to the driver, “I have another stop to make.”

“Roman…Roman!!”

He shut the door in her face. The driver did his best to pretend he hadn’t witnessed it and got back into the driver’s seat. A moment later, he drove off leaving Sandy standing on the curb.

*****

Franklin wasn’t faring much better in his car ride to April’s house.

“April what the hell happened back there?”

Her anger hadn’t lessened as she crossed her legs, “I confronted the woman you were sleeping with behind my back that’s what happened.”

“I’m not sleeping with Sandy.”

She whipped out her phone and showed him the pictures, “Then what the hell was this?”

He didn’t know what to expect, but those images certainly weren't it. “How…what….”

“No! Your response shouldn’t be how I got the pictures.”

“April, I know those pictures look bad…”

“They don’t just look bad…they ARE bad!”

“We didn’t sleep together that night.”

She lifted her chin, “Why? Was it because of her or you?”

He couldn’t look her in the eye.

She balled her fists at her sides, “Damn you, Franklin! I’ve been here for you through everything and yet you do this to me. I don’t deserve this.”

“No…you don’t. I can only tell you that there is nothing going on between us. I was wrong, and I apologize. I know that it probably doesn’t matter to you, but I didn’t sleep with her. She’s committed to Roman.”

“But, are you committed to me?”

He dropped his head, “I wish I were. April…I can’t do this to you anymore. You want marriage and kids. I can’t give either of them to you. And, honestly, if I were able to have that kind of life…I’d want it with Sandy. I’m sorry but, I’m not in love with you anymore.”

She slapped his face…hard. Then she slapped it again.

“I hate you! You deserve every vile thing that has ever happened to you.” She got out of the car and slammed the door behind her.

*****

Roman drank almost a half of bottle of whatever was in the limo. The driver pulled up at the address he’d given him.

He got out of the car and walked inside the apartment building. Roman took the elevator to the fifth floor. When the doors opened, he stepped off and went directly to the one place he’d always been able to find peace.

He rang the doorbell…twice.

Kate opened the door, “Roman…what are you doing here?”

He didn’t answer. He just pulled her body close to his and kissed her hard on the lips as he backed his way into her apartment.

*****

Sandra was feeling so many emotions, but she needed to talk to Franklin. Instead of going into the house she went into the garage and got in her car.

Half an hour later, she was at Franklin’s ringing his doorbell.

He opened it looking exhausted…haggard.

She pushed past him, “Why didn’t you tell me?”

His eyes couldn’t meet hers, “Sandy…it doesn’t matter.”

Tears started to stream down her face, “It matters Franklin.
IT MATTERS
!”

“You shouldn’t…be here.”

“You don’t think I know that! You don’t think that no matter how hard I fight it…that my heart keeps leading me back to you!”

“Roman loves you. I see it every time he looks at you. He’s hurt, but it’s nothing that can’t be fixed. He can give you the security and the family I know you want. I…I can’t give you any of those things. God…if I could…”

“Franklin…I don’t care about any of that.”

“I do! I’m losing my mind, Sandy! I’m literally losing my mind.” He slid down onto the floor, and she went with him. “You have no idea what it’ll be like watching me get lost inside myself. Possibly becoming a danger to me, and maybe even those around me. I love you too much to let you give up your life for me.”

“You…still love me?”

“I never stopped. It’s because I love you that I need to let you go. For you to live your life and be happy.”

Sandy cradled Franklin’s head in her hands before kissing him. She kissed him hard on the lips. God help him, he was helpless to stop it. It wasn’t a kiss of skill or sweetness, but it was raw, urgent, and desperate. Sandy crushed her body to his and yet; still it wasn’t close enough.

Something snapped within him as he took control of the kiss. He thrust his tongue deeply into her, feasting greedily as if his life depended on just being able to taste her. Everything was spiraling out of control as he held her by the back of her head.

Neither of them could catch their breath as they clung to each other. His kisses made her feel drugged. Like she was floating on a cloud.

Somehow, Sandy managed to run her fingers through his hair as she returned his desperate kisses. They mimicked the same rhythm as if he were buried deeply inside her body.

He could feel her nipples harden underneath the thin fabric of her dress. It would be nothing to throw her down on the floor and make love.

Franklin had to get a grip if he let this kiss continue any further, that is exactly what he would end up doing. He wouldn’t have the strength to stop. It almost killed him, but he pulled away and rested his forehead on hers. Their breathing was loud and heavy.

After who knows how long, Franklin stood and brought Sandy up with him. Fighting back tears, his voice was thick, “This is harder than anything I’ve ever done…but please, go. You have to leave now. Go…marry Roman.” He pushed her away, “Your future is with him.”

She whispered to him as she angrily swiped away another tear, “How? How can I give my heart to him when you still own it?”

“Because he can offer you a life.” In a strangled voice, “God, if I could. If things were different but they are not. Somehow, you have to forget about us.”

“You have to know I would stay; I would never leave you if you’d have me.”

He whispered, “I know that.”

The anguish in her voice was tearing him apart, “Then, why are you turning me away?”

“Because, I LOVE YOU! I want you to have a life. I can’t give you anything, and Roman can give you everything. Sandy…go. Please. Please…just go!”

Her legs felt like lead as she walked toward the door. Slowly, she opened it and hovered for a moment, then turned around, “I’ll always love you, Franklin.”

In a whisper, he responded, “And, I’ll always love you.”

*****

Sandy went home and cried most of the night. Roman never came home, so she didn’t have to hide her tears and heartbreak.

She prayed for the first time in a long time. Asking God for forgiveness and a miracle. If he would just spare Franklin’s mind, she would do anything. She prayed that Roman would forgive her for hurting him and for not loving him more than Franklin.

Sandy wasn’t sure when it happened, but ultimately, she cried herself to sleep.

It was early the next morning when Roman finally made it home from Kate’s. He was prepared to end his relationship with Sandy. He’d had enough of this up and down rollercoaster. If she wanted Franklin, be together and be happy. He was done.

However, he couldn’t bring himself to go upstairs to the bedroom they shared just yet. Instead, he went into the kitchen. He opened the refrigerator, bending low, looking for a bottled water. His mouth was dry probably from all the alcohol he’d consumed the night before. He wasn’t completely wasted when he arrived at Kate’s. But, after having sex with her didn’t dull the pain, he had several more drinks until he passed out.

He knew he was wrong for using her body to drown out his sorrows, but he’d also told Kate last night, that the only thing he was prepared to give her was his body. She said she would take what she could get until he was ready to give her more.

Roman took the cowardly way out by leaving before she woke up this morning; he just had too much on his plate for today to deal with his issues with Kate.

He stood up and when he closed the refrigerator door, Sandy was standing behind it.

“Good morning.”

He couldn’t speak. He just drank in the sight of her. Her eyes were, red, puffy, and swollen, just like his. Even though he wanted to pull her into his arms and forget none of this ever happened, he didn’t. He stood still wondering if her tears were for him or Franklin.

She spoke softly, “You didn’t come home last night.”

His eyes were bloodshot, “Does it matter?”

She looked down at her hands where she still wore his ring, “It matters. This may not mean much to you but, Roman, I’m sorry I hurt you yesterday.”

He licked his dry lips, “It wasn’t just yesterday. Aren’t you tired of telling me you’re sorry? I know I’m sick of hearing it.”

In almost a whisper she responded, “Yes, I guess, I suppose you would be.”

He scratched the back of his head, “Can I just ask one thing?”

She looked up at him, “Of course.”

“Are you still in love Franklin?”

She bit her lip before nodding, “Yes.” It hurt so much to know she caused the pain on his face. She wished she could wave a magic wand so that she could give him her whole heart.

“Do you think you could have ever loved me if it weren’t for him?”

“Roman, you are an amazing, yes. I know I could have loved you with my whole heart.” Sandy couldn’t hold back her tears, “I’m not sure what’s in my future, but there is no future for Franklin and me.”

“I’m prepared to walk away, Sandy and let you go.”

“I understand. I’m broken too. And, I’m so sorry I hurt you.” Sandy started to turn around, but Roman caught her by her waist and pulled her close as he buried his face in her hair.

He breathed in the scent of her, “I can’t let you go. I know I should…but I can’t let you go. If you’re sure there’s no future with Franklin, then with time, you could love me.”

“Roman…it’s not fair to you. I…I’m broken.”

“Can you promise me commitment? Can you be committed to me?”

Breathlessly she responded, “Yes.”

“No matter what? No matter what the future holds?”

“Yes.”

“Then, will you marry me next Saturday?”

She pulled back to look into his eyes. If not for Franklin, she would love this man. And, after a brief moment of hesitation, Sandy nodded, “Yes.”

*****

Roman and Sandy slept until late afternoon. She was still exhausted but dragged herself out of the bed. As she was walking down to the kitchen to grab a glass of water, the doorbell rang.

Sandy tightened her robe to answer the door. When she opened it, there was a delivery man standing there with a couple dozen of red roses.

She wasn’t sure when Roman must have ordered them, but they were beautiful. After accepting the roses, Sandy set them down on the table right next to the settee. She looked for the card. The blooms were so full that it was almost hard to find, but she found it.

The note said the following:

Be careful of men who keep secrets especially secrets with April Linden.