The Battle Lord's Lady (36 page)

Madigan tried to take a deep breath, but it
turned ragged and threatened to choke her. “What will Yulen do when
he finds her gone of her own choosing? That she’s given up?”

MaGrath pulled away from her, unable to stop
his own rising grief. “I think you already know the answer to that
question. So now I’m going to ask you...what are you more willing
to live with, Madigan? Can you spend the rest of your life without
your son? Or can you accept a woman with morning glory hair, who
gives him countless joy, who fills his days with sunlight and his
nights with passion, and who is willing to sacrifice her own life
for his?”

He watched as the woman stared down the road
for several long moments. “Where do you think she is, Liam?” she
finally whispered.

“I don’t know. But don’t you think you need
to go look for her before Yulen gets back?”

She looked at him, wiping her face with the
sleeve of her gown. “Liam, if I find her and bring her back, will
you do something for me?” she begged, her voice soft from her
tears.

“What is it?”

“Will you...still be waiting for me?”

MaGrath heard the pounding of his heart echo
in his ears. “Bring her back, Maddy, and I’ll never deny you
anything.”

Madigan kicked her horse, urging it into a
gallop, and headed down the road. MaGrath watched until she’d gone
over the rise, then turned around to look back down the valley. If
Madigan was successful, it would be a miracle. But after a day like
today, he could no longer refute the possibility of miracles.

Chapter Thirty-Eight

Forgiveness

Madigan prayed under her breath as she
galloped into the encampment. Her eyes raked the empty places where
the men would begin their fires tonight and settle their bedrolls.
When she caught the flash of a bay-colored rump backing up from a
behind a tree, she nearly cried with relief.

She pulled up her horse and slid out of the
saddle, running toward the horse and looking to see where the woman
had gone. All the while she continued to pray she hadn’t been too
late.

Behind one setup she thought she spied a deep
blue color. She went after it, afraid to call out for fear the
woman would bolt if she knew she was being pursued.

It was the sound of soft sobbing that finally
led her to a small tumble of large rocks that edged the small
stream flowing through the camp. Quietly, Madigan followed the
sound, stepping around the rocks until she saw the warrior woman
bent over the stream. She knew immediately what Atty was doing,
having spent many days and nights herself placing cold compresses
over tear-swollen eyes.

She remained silent, watching until Atty
managed to get to her feet and tried to calm herself. The warrior
woman reached into the waistband of her pants and pulled out what
Madigan saw was a small arrow. The point was covered with blood. A
shiver went through the older woman as she watched Atty drop it by
the stream.

“I know you’re behind me,” Atty whispered
raggedly. “What is it now? What do you have to tell me you haven’t
already made perfectly clear?” Her shoulders shook as her black
sorrow overcame her again, and Atty covered her face with her
hands. Suddenly she turned and started to run back to her horse.
Madigan cried out and tried to follow her.

“Atrilan, no!”

Atty’s reaction was immediate. She
whirled on the woman with her misery etched in every line on her
face. “Don’t...you...
ever
...
call me that again!” she almost screamed.

“It’s what I’ve heard Yulen call you,”
Madigan tried to explain, but Atty would no longer listen to any of
the venom and bile the older woman had to spew.

“Yulen calls me that when we’re alone. When
he’s loving me. When he’s...” Her emotions betrayed her again, and
Atty stumbled against the bole of large cottonwood. Slowly she slid
to her knees, unable to run any further as sobs racked her body.
Unable to escape into the sheltering forest where they’d never find
her unless she wished it. Unable to face another day without the
one person who meant more to her than life, but who she would never
be allowed to love as long as one other person stood in their
way.

“Atty, I came to beg your forgiveness!”
Madigan called out. “
Forgive me!
I...I lost the man who was
my
life to a Mutah army. And I think, all this time, I’ve been
forcing you to bear the blame for his death.”

She moved closer and got down on her knees,
ignoring the wet ground and the mud staining her gown to reach out
toward the woman huddled in a small ball, her arms clasped around
her legs.

“If you go, I will lose the last two
people in my life who mean everything to me. So I’m begging
you...I’m
pleading
with
you...
don’t go.
Give me
another chance.
Please
. Give
me the chance to try and accept you. Yulen...Yulen is part of me
and all I have left of Rory. Liam says Rory would approve of you.
And there is no way I can deny the fact that you’ve become Yulen’s
whole life. Please,
please,
Atty. Stay. Yulen’s men have accepted you. You can see it in
their faces. And Liam...Liam fights for you as fiercely as he did
for Rory. Atty...Atty,
please.
One last chance. Please.”

She reached toward the warrior woman and
slowly held out a hand to touch her. As Atty remained withdrawn in
her misery, Madigan’s fingers brushed the dark blue sheen of hair
falling over the woman’s back and sides. She felt its warmth and
silkiness, and it surprised her. Unable to help herself, Madigan
let her hand drift in the soft waves. She lifted a lock to her nose
where she caught the faint scent of mint in it.

Fresh tears flowed over her cheeks. Her
breath caught in her chest. Yulen loved the smell of mint. He had
the servants make his soap with it. Soap this woman had used four
nights ago before walking into his arms and his bed. Before she was
kidnapped by Collaunt’s man and taken away. Before Yulen had been
forced to sneak into Bearinger, into its lower dungeons, so he
could take her virginity and save her life.

Now that she looked for them, it wasn’t hard
to see the traces of blood on the pants Atty still wore. Madigan
remembered the night she’d forever left behind her girlhood with
the man who later gave her a son. For her it had been a night of
love and soaring passion, in a bed filled with red tulip
petals.

Not a cold and filthy dungeon, without the
time to love, to prepare, or even the chance to savor what should
have come afterward.

But Atty had accepted it, without complaint,
without sorrow or regret, because she loved Yulen. Because of her
fate in life to have been born different, she would accept anything
he could give her, and always would.

Would any other woman give as much?

“Oh, God, what have I done?” she whispered to
herself. Without being aware of what she was doing, Madigan leaned
over and put her arms around Atty’s shoulders, and buried her face
in the dark, morning glory hair. She held her that way for a long
time, until she felt Atty begin to pull away. Glancing up, she saw
that the warrior woman would not look at her as she got to her
feet.

“Atty...listen to me. Please. Just give me
this one last request.”

To her relief, Atty paused, her back still
turned to her.

“Yulen will be back soon. I...I have my
tent erected on the other side of the stream. I want you to go
there and clean up. You’ve been through so much, and I have been a
fool. I’ll have a pan of warm water brought to you so you can clean
up before he gets back. Atty,
please
,” she said softly, slowly. “Have your
first night together. Make my Yulen happy. Give him joy. Let him
give you your joy.”

“And what about you?” Atty asked in a voice
less hard but still wary. “Where will you go tonight?”

Madigan smiled through her tears and sniffed.
“I have a gentle-hearted physician who’s been waiting a long, long
time for me to finally come to my senses.”

Maybe it was the mention of Liam that finally
brought Atty back into her arms, and Madigan finally discovered
what he had been trying to tell her these past few days.

Chapter Thirty-Nine

Tent

For only the second time in his life, MaGrath
dreaded having to face Yulen and tell him the bad news. Which
explained why his face felt like raw leather when the troops
wearily made their way back up the rise and began to disperse to
find their own fires and bedroll for the coming night.

Yulen was near the end of the line. He was
giving some last-minute instructions to Verris, who nodded before
departing. As the Battle Lord approached him, MaGrath could see his
eyes sweeping the area, and knew what he was going to ask before he
opened his mouth. The pit in his stomach closed over and turned to
cold lead.

“Liam, where’s Atty?” Almost as a second
thought, he added, “Where’s Madigan?”

“Yulen...”

His tone of voice must have betrayed
him. Yulen’s face turned red almost instantly. “Damn you,
Liam!
Where is
she?
”

“Madigan’s gone to look for her.”

“Gone to
look
for her?” Without waiting for an answer,
Yulen whirled his horse around and forced the animal into a gallop,
heading down the road toward the encampment. MaGrath hurried to
keep up with the man.

It was with shock and surprise both men
reined up in front of the section set aside for the Battle Lord to
find Madigan sitting before his campfire, stirring the freshly-lit
tinder with a twig. Not far away Atty’s bay mare stood
abandoned.

Jumping from the saddle while the horse was
still in motion, Yulen rushed over and grabbed his mother by the
arms.

“What did you do, Mother? What did you
say
this
time?
Where’s Atty?
”

MaGrath stood to the side, watching and
knowing that all the anger and fear and heartache he felt was being
effectively funneled through the Battle Lord.

Madigan stared up at her son, lifting a hand
to touch his stubbled, blood-streaked cheek. She could see the dark
rings under his eyes caused by his worry and lack of sleep. He also
looked more gaunt than usual, and she knew she was also the cause
of it. Not to mention the ugly, raw abrasion around his neck.

Had it only been this morning that he’d set
out for Bearinger’s dungeons? When was the last time he’d eaten?
For that matter, when was the last time he’d gotten a chance to
actually rest? And recuperate? And love?

“Madigan!” he asked again through gritted
teeth, and gave her a little shake.

“She’s in my tent,” Madigan told him softly.
“She’s in my tent, waiting for you.”

The anger seemed to drain out of him. “What?
She’s where?”

“Go to her, Yul. Love her. Love her enough so
she’ll never leave, and never think of ever leaving again.”

Yulen gave her one last confused look, then
released her and began to jog in the direction where he knew his
mother had ordered her large tent erected for her personal
comfort.

MaGrath watched him leave with wide-eyed
disbelief. Glancing back at Madigan, he dismounted and walked over
to her, dropping the reins on the ground. “What happened, Maddy?
What’s going on? How did you talk Atty into—” He turned again to
watch Yulen’s departing figure.

“Liam?”

The physician turned back around, and was
enveloped in a pair of warm arms and an even warmer kiss. He held
her tightly for a moment, then gently disengaged himself from her
embrace to give her another confused look. “What the hell is going
on?” he asked her.

“Before I go into the details, I need you to
give me a straight answer,” she told him.

“What’s the question?”

“Since Yulen and Atty are using my tent
tonight, would it be possible for me to spend the night with you?
Together?”

MaGrath nearly stumbled backwards.
“Maddy?”

“I don’t want to wait any longer,” she begged
softly, holding out her arms once again, and smiled when he finally
came to her.

* * * *

The tent with its dark purple and gold
curtains and panels sat like an amethyst jewel just off the road,
amid a small cathedral of tall pines. Yulen’s father had ordered it
made for whenever he was expected to go on some of his shorter
excursions outside the compound, and Madigan was allowed to
accompany him. Yulen could recall many trips away from Alta Novis
when, as a young boy, he had slept inside on his mother’s soft
pillows. For her to have sent Atty to use it was a circumstance he
couldn’t begin to fathom, even if he wanted to.

Ducking inside the doorway, he noticed the
rectangular interior was already brightly lit with oil lamps. He
pulled the ties behind him, effectively closing the front flap and
ensuring their privacy.