The Barrytown Trilogy (17 page)

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Authors: Roddy Doyle

Tags: #Fiction, #General

BOOK: The Barrytown Trilogy
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He dug into his pockets. He’d no change, so he gave Linda a pound note.

—Go ou’ an’ buy sweets. ——Say Thank —

But they were gone. Jimmy Sr saw Darren looking at him.

—What’re you lookin’ at? ——Here.

It was a pound.

—Thanks, Da. Rapid.

—Get ou’. ——I think yeh’d better read tha’ buke up in your room, Sharon. I can’t afford to do tha’ every nigh’.

—D’yeh think they know? Sharon asked him.

—Not at all, said Jimmy Sr. —They’ll have forgotten all abou’ it once they have their faces stuffed with —with Trigger Bars an’ Cadbury’s fuckin’ Cream Eggs.

—Stop that.

—Sorry, Veronica. ——Annyway sure, we’ll have to tell them some time annyway, won’t we?

—Yeah. I suppose so. ——Yeah. I hadn’t thought o’ tha’, said Sharon.

—I have, Veronica told her.

Sharon brought the book upstairs.

She read on. She might feel shock: no, not now. She might feel a loss of individuality. She might feel she didn’t matter: no. Like a vessel: no. Loveless: yeah ——not really. Scared: a bit. Sick: not yet. Not ready for pregnancy: sort of, but not really.

What she really felt, she decided later in bed, was confused. There was so much. And she wouldn’t have really known that if she hadn’t bought the bleedin’ book.

But she wanted to know. She wanted to know exactly what was going to happen, what was happening even now. She put her hand on her stomach: nothing.

* * *

She felt a bit impatient too. Sometimes she didn’t think anything was going to happen. She hoped the changes came soon. She was ready for it; getting bigger, backache, and the rest of it. In a way she wanted it. She didn’t mind people knowing she was pregnant —as long as no one knew who’d helped her —but she couldn’t go around telling everyone. She could never have done that. Once she started getting bigger, then they’d know. Then they could laugh and talk about it and try and guess who she’d done it with, and then leave her alone.

Though she’d have to tell her friends, Jackie and them.

* * *

Jimmy Sr woke up. His neck was killing him. He hated falling asleep sitting on the couch, but he’d had a few pints with the lads after the pitch and putt, so he didn’t know he was falling asleep till now, after he’d woken up. He tried to stretch, and lift his head up.

—Ah —! ——fuck——

He shook himself. His chin was wet, and a bit of his shirt.

—Ah Jaysis, he gave out to himself. —Yeh fuckin’ baby, yeh.

He looked at the telly. Cricket.

—Ah, fuckin’ hell.

He always got angry the minute he saw cricket. It really annoyed him, everything about it; the umpires, the white gear, the commentators, the whole fuckin’ lot.

He couldn’t find the remote control, so he had to stand up. When he got to the telly he didn’t bother looking to see if there was anything else on. He just turned it off.

His mouth and throat were dry. He needed Coke, or anything fizzy and cold.

Veronica was in the kitchen, at the table, cutting material.

—Is it still Saturday? said Jimmy Sr.

—The dead arose, said Veronica.

Jimmy Sr went to the fridge. He bent down and took out a large yellow-pack bottle, empty.

—Fuck it annyway!

—Now now.

—There was loads in it this mornin’. I only had a few slugs.

—Jimmy had the rest of it before he went to work, Veronica told him. —He didn’t look very well.

—Fuck’m, said Jimmy Sr. —Why can’t he buy his own?

—Why can’t
YOU
buy your own?

—I bought this one!

—Excuse
ME
. I bought it.

—With my fuckin’ money.

Veronica said nothing. Jimmy Sr sat down. He shouldn’t have shouted at her. He felt guilty now. He’d send one of the kids to get her a choc-ice when one of them came in.

—What’s tha’ you’re makin’, Veronica? he asked.

Veronica glanced at him over her glasses.

—A skirt. For Linda, she said.

—No one’ll run her over in the dark annyway, wha’, said Jimmy Sr.

The material was very bright, shiny red.

—Ha ha, said Veronica. —It’s for their majorettes.

—Their wha’?

—Majorettes. You know. Marching to music.

—Wha’? Like in American football?

—That’s right.

This worried Jimmy Sr.

—They’re a bit young for tha’, aren’t they?

—Don’t be stupid, said Veronica. —They’re doing it in school.

—Oh, fair enough so, said Jimmy Sr. —What’s for the dinner?

—You had your dinner, Veronica reminded him.

She put the scissors down on the table. That was that for one day. Her eyes were sore.

—For the tea, said Jimmy Sr.

——A fry, said Veronica.

—Lovely, said Jimmy Sr. —An’ some fried bread maybe?

Veronica looked across. There was one full sliced pan and most of another one.

—Right, she said. —Okay.

—Veronica, said Jimmy Sr. —I love yeh.

—Umf, said Veronica.

The back door opened and Les charged through the kitchen. They heard him walloping the stairs as he ran up to the boys’ room.

—Don’t say hello or ann’thin’! Jimmy Sr roared.

There wasn’t an answer. The door slammed.

—No one just closes doors annymore, said Jimmy Sr. —Did yeh ever notice tha’, Veronica?

Veronica had her head in the fridge. She was wiping some dried milk off the inside of the door.

—They either slam them or they leave the fuckin’ things open, said Jimmy Sr. —I went into the jacks there this mornin’ an’ Linda was sittin’ in there readin’ a comic. Or it might’ve been Tracy.

—You should have knocked, said Veronica.

—The door was open, said Jimmy Sr. —An open jacks door
means the jacks is empty. Everywhere in the world except in this house. Walk into the jacks in this house an’ you’ll find a twin, or Jimmy pukin’, or Leslie wankin’—

—Stop that!

—Sorry. ——That’s the sort o’ stuff they should be teachin’ them in school. Not Irish or —or German. Shuttin’ jacks doors an’ sayin’ Hello an’ tha’ sort o’ thing. Manners.

—Will you look who’s talking about manners, said Veronica, and she stabbed a sausage a couple of times and turned it, and stabbed it again.

Jimmy Jr came in, from work.

—Howyis, he said.

—Get stuffed, you, said Jimmy Sr.

—Manners! said Veronica.

—Listen here, you, said Jimmy Sr. —You’re not to be drinkin’ all the Coke in the mornin’, righ’. Buy your own.

—I put me money into the house, said Jimmy Jr.

—Is tha’ wha’ yeh call it? Yeh couldn’t wipe your arse with the amount you give your mother.

He pointed at the sausages.

—D’you know how much they cost, do yeh?

—Do
YOU
know? Veronica asked him.

Darren came in the back door, and saved Jimmy Sr.

—Did yeh win, Darren? he asked.

—Yeah, said Darren. —I saved a penno.

—Did yeh? Ah, good man. Good man yourself. Wha’ score?

—Two-one.

—Yeh let one in.

—It wasn’t my fault.

—Course it wasn’t.

—Muggah McCarthy let it through his legs an’ —

Veronica looked at Darren.

—Get up, you, and wash some of that muck off you.

The twins came in as Darren went out.

—Ma, Da, said Linda. —Can we keep this?

It was a pup, a tiny black wad of fluff with four skinny legs
and a tail that would have looked long on a fully grown dog. It was shaking in Linda’s hands, terrified.

—No, said Veronica, and —Yeah, said Jimmy Sr at the same time. —Yeh can o’ course.

—Not after the last one, said Veronica. —They never stopped crying after Bonzo got run over. And Darren and Sharon.

—And you, said Jimmy Sr.

—Ah, Mammy. We won’t cry this time. Sure we won’t, Tracy?

—Yeah, said Tracy. —We’ll tie the gate so he can’t get ou’.

—No, I said.

—Ah, Ma-mmy! Let’s.

—Who’ll feed it? Veronica wanted to know.

—Wha’ is it? said Jimmy Sr.

—A dog, said Linda. —It’ll grow bigger.

—Will it? said Jimmy Sr. —That’s very clever.

Veronica laughed. She couldn’t help it.

Tracy pounced.

—Can we keep it, Mammy? Can we?

——Alright, said Veronica.

Jimmy Sr beamed at her.

—When was the last time you brushed your teeth? she asked him.

—This mornin’!

—With Guinness, was it?

She looked at the twins.

—You’re to feed it, the two of you. ——An’ it’s not to come into the house.

—The ’Malley’s dog had it, Linda told them. —He had loads o’ them.

—Can we get another one, Ma? One each.

—No!

—Aah.

—No.

—One’ll do yis, said Jimmy Sr. —Show us it here.

Linda handed the pup to Jimmy Sr.

Jimmy Jr walked back in.

—What’s tha’? A rat?

—It is not a rat, Jimmy Rabbitte, said Tracy. —It’s a dog.

—It’s a dog, righ’, said Linda.

It was warm and quivering. Jimmy Sr could feel its bones.

—Wha’ sort of a dog is it but? he asked.

—Black, said Tracy.

—Go ’way! said Jimmy Jr.

—I’m your new da, Jimmy Sr told it.

They all laughed.

—An’, look it. There’s your mammy makin’ the tea.

He made its paw wave at Veronica. Linda and Tracy were delighted. They couldn’t wait to do that.

—Give us it, said Linda, and she pulled at it.

—Easy! ——for Jaysis sake, said Jimmy Sr. —You’ll break the poor little bastard.

He lifted it up by the skin at the back of its neck and looked under it.

—It’s a young fella, he told Veronica.

—Thank God, said Veronica.

—How do yeh know tha’? Tracy wanted to know.

—It’s written there. Look.

—It isn’t. ——Where is it?

Then the pup puked on Jimmy Sr’s shoulder.

—Oh, look it, said Linda.

She tried to rub it off before her mammy saw it and changed her mind.

—Leave it, leave it, said Jimmy Sr. —What’re you laughin’ at?

—Nothin’ much, said Jimmy Jr.

—Put it in the back, said Veronica.

Jimmy Sr put the pup on the table so he could get to the sink and clean his shoulder. It stood there, rattling, its paws slipping on the formica, and pissed on it.

Tracy grabbed it and ran for the door and Jimmy Sr had the piss in a J-cloth and under the tap before Veronica had time to turn from the cooker to see what had happened.

Jimmy Sr studied his shoulder.

—That’s grand.

—Change it, said Veronica.

—Not at all, said Jimmy Sr. —It’s grand.

Tracy came back in with the pup clinging to the front of her jumper.

—Look it. He’s hangin’ on by himself.

—What’re yis goin’ to call him? Jimmy Sr asked.

—Don’t know.

—Wha’ abou’ Larry Gogan? said Jimmy Sr.

He looked across at Jimmy Jr, but Jimmy Jr didn’t know he was being slagged.

—That’s stupid, said Linda.

—It’s thick, said Tracy.

—No, it’s not, said Jimmy Sr. —Listen. How many —?

—Call him Anthrax, said Jimmy Jr.

—They will not, said Veronica.

—Look it, said Jimmy Sr when he’d stopped laughing. —If yis call him King or Sultan or somethin’ like tha’ an’ yis shout ou’ his name half the dogs in Barrytown’ll come runnin’ at yis; d’yeh see? But if yis call him Larry Gogan he’s the only one that’ll come to yis cos there’s not all tha’ many dogs called Larry Gogan as far as I know.

—It’s an excellent name, said Jimmy Jr.

The girls looked at each other.

—Okay, said Linda. —We were goin’ to call it Whitney.

—It’s a boy, said Jimmy Sr, laughing.

—Yeah.

—Your name’s Larrygogan, Tracy told the pup.

Larrygogan didn’t look all that impressed.

—Howyeh, Larrygogan.

—Will yis do a message for me, girls?

—Yeah, said Linda.

Jimmy Sr always paid them for messages.

—Get a choc-ice for your mammy—

—I want a Toblerone as well, said Veronica.

—Certainly, Veronica, said Jimmy Sr. —A choc-ice an’ a small Toblerone, an’ you can have choc-ices as well.

—Can we just have the money?

—No way. Choc-ices. An’, come here, I want to see yis eatin’ them.

—Not till they’ve had their tea, said Veronica.

—Did yis hear tha’? said Jimmy Sr. —An’ get one for Darren an’ as well.

—Wha’ abou’ me? said Jimmy Jr.

—Buy your own.

—Aaah! He’s gorgeous!

Sharon had just walked in and seen Larrygogan.

—There’s Sharon, said Jimmy Sr. —D’yeh want a choc-ice, Sharon?

—Yeah thanks, Daddy.

—A celery one, is it?

—Very funny, I don’t think.

Sharon patted Larrygogan.

—God, he’s only a skeleton.

—He’s from Ethiopia, said Jimmy Jr.

Jimmy Sr, Linda, Tracy and Sharon laughed but Veronica didn’t. They heard a bang from above them. The bunk beds in the boys’ room had hopped. Les and Darren were fighting.


STOP THA
’, Jimmy roared at the ceiling. ——There.

He gave three pound notes to Linda.

—We’ll bring Larrygogan, said Tracy.

Sharon laughed.

—Is tha’ wha’ yis’re callin’ him?

—That’s righ’, said Jimmy Sr.

He winked at her.

—Don’t bring him, he told the twins. —He’ll have to have his shots. If yis bring him ou’ before he has his shots he’ll catch diseases.

—What’s shots?

—Injections.

—Ah no!

—They’re nice injections. They don’t hurt. They’ll tickle
him. An’ annyway, if he doesn’t have them he’ll catch all sorts o’ diseases. An’ then Jimmy here’ll catch them off o’ him an’ give them to all his pals.

—I’ll wear a johnny, Jimmy Jr whispered to Sharon.

—Oh Jesus! Sharon laughed.

—Take it easy, said Jimmy Sr.

—Right, said Veronica. —Ready. Sharon, give me a hand here.

—Dash, girls, Jimmy Sr told the twins.

And they did.

And Larrygogan fell into the sink.

* * *

On the Tuesday morning after Larrygogan joined the family, in the middle of week eleven, Sharon got an awful fright when she was climbing out of bed, just waking up. Her period had started.

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