The Bargain (9 page)

He gave just as good as he got, battling me with his mouth and hands, taking what he wanted and giving only what he wanted. He fought dirty, and within seconds, a hunger unlike anything I’d ever felt blazed through every cell in my body.

“I hate you,” I said against his mouth, even as my hands pulled him closer. It was the truth. I hated that I failed to say no to him. I hated that he’d hijacked my life. But most of all, I hated that he made me feel more alive than Evan ever had. Even when our relationship was shiny and new, I’d never experienced the raw, white-knuckling desperation I felt with Ryker. For Ryker.

“I know,” he responded, his eyes stormy and urgent like thunderstorms gathering on the edge of the horizon. He shoved me onto my back, and his body followed, hovering over me, watching me, challenging me, and I fought.

Wrapping my legs around his waist, I arched into him. “I wish I never met you.” My hands slipped under the hem of his shirt, gliding over the chiseled peaks and valleys of his sculpted chest. As much as I wanted to touch him, I wanted to hurt him. I raked my nails down his chest, but he didn’t flinch. He didn’t even blink.
Fucker
.

“I know.” His mouth moved to my neck and goose bumps scattered down my arms. Why did my body betray me time and time again with Ryker?

I rocked against him, one hand fisted in his hair, and the other yanked on the front of his shirt. I would rather spontaneously combust than ask him for anything, but my body literally ached for more contact, more of him. Mercifully, he understood me, moving against me with punishing force.

I didn’t know how long we continued our twisted game…battling each other, manipulating each other. As hard as I pushed, he’d push back, not taking it any further than he wanted. Instead, we were like two hamsters going round and round…kissing, licking, touching, and grinding against each other, over and over, replay after replay, but nothing more.

Control.

Dominance.

Superiority.

You name it; we battled for it. Instead of using weapons, we used our mouths, our hands, our bodies, and our minds…until fire licked my hyper-sensitized flesh and every nerve ending prickled with both pleasure and pain.

Frustration mushroomed inside of me, bit by bit, second by second. A freefall of rioting and contradictory emotions crossed swords inside my mind. My ability to think logically failed, splintering like a paper-thin piece of wood. I was self-destructing under his assault.

Frantic to shift the pendulum in my direction, I tore at his belt buckle, my hands shaky from the fog of lust coloring my common sense—and that’s when everything stopped.

In a split second, he jerked my hands above my head and pinned them against the headboard. His hands were like rings of iron, imprisoning me. He bent his head next to my ear, his warm breath, whispering against the side of my face. “No more, Hattie. This is over,” he said. The words felt like a slap across my face.

“No.” I didn’t recognize my voice. It resembled a primitive battle cry more than a protest. “It’s not over until I say it’s over.”

“No, that’s where you’re wrong. This is my game, my world. You only win what I want to give. Nothing more.”

My lust exploded in a burst of volcanic rage. I kicked and bucked and everything in between, but he was stronger, easily overpowering me. Strings of curses and taunts fell like poison from my lips.

His hand cupped my mouth, smothering my rants. I bit his hand, breaking the skin, but he didn’t cave. Fuck, he didn’t even flinch. “Stop this. This is hard for me too. I don’t want to keep fighting with you, but I will.”

His eyes raked over my face with equal parts anger and violence. I believed him. He’d won. Accepting defeat, my muscles uncoiled one by one and he lifted his hand from my mouth. I sucked in giant gasps of air trying to expunge Ryker’s mind games. Beat by beat my heart slowed to a normal rhythm.

“Take a shower and clean yourself up. I have a few things to do before we head back to the villa.”

“If you don’t want to deal with me, why did you come after me? You should’ve left me in the jungle. We both know I never would’ve made it out of there alive.” Even to my ears, I sound lost. Shattered. Broken.

“You’re the leverage to secure my brother’s release.” He shifted his body and sat up on the edge of the bed, his face turned away from me. “I’ll be back in fifteen minutes. Be dressed and ready.”

“My clothes are dirty.” I don’t understand why I said it. What I did or didn’t wear was inconsequential.

“There’s a change of clothes in the bathroom along with a few other toiletries.” He stalked toward the door, his hands buried deep in his pockets.

“I don’t want anything from you.” I lied.

“Good thing I found the gun you stole from my room. I wouldn’t want you to be burdened with it either.”

I hurled a pillow in his direction, but it caught in netting and fell unceremoniously to the floor. “I’m not doing anything you want, not a fucking thing.”

“Just shower and put on the clothes. We can argue about what you do and don’t want later.” The door slammed, reverberating through the room. All my strength depleted, I sagged under the weight of my situation.

Chapter Fifteen

Numb…that’s how I felt when I slipped on a pair of too short jean shorts and a too large t-shirt. The lukewarm shower water had stung every inch of my bruised and battered skin, and as I stared into the peeling mirror, I didn’t recognize the woman staring back at me.

Purple circles stained the skin under my bloodshot eyes. Red scratches marred my right cheekbone, and three butterfly bandages dotted the length of my neck. I looked like serious arm candy…just as Ricardo said. A bitter laugh escaped my mouth, startling me.

Expelling a monster breath, I exited the bathroom. I expected to find Ryker waiting for me, but he wasn’t in the room. The hum of a car idling outside my window caught my attention. Maybe Ryker already left, and he planned to meet me outside.

I walked toward the open window. The rusted, three decade-old blue sedan was empty. Before I could second-guess my actions, I placed both of my hands on the window frame and threw one leg over the windowsill. For a few ticks of time that felt like an eternity; my body straddled the windowsill as my mind weighed my options, relentlessly analyzing my next move.

To hell with Ryker. I was leaving. I climbed out the window, hanging from the ledge before I jumped. My swollen ankle screamed, but I kept moving. Within seconds, I sat behind the wheel of the car. I didn’t waste time. I shoved the gear into drive and slammed my foot on the gas pedal so hard I thought it might crash through the rusted metal floorboard.

Clouds of brown dust rolled upward behind the car as I drove over the gravel road. I wasn’t delusional. Ryker would realize I had run again within minutes, if not seconds, but the thought didn’t stop me. If Ryker wanted me, he had to work for it. Sure, he’d probably find me and punish me, but I refused to rollover and accept my fate—not when I still had viable options.

Palm tree canopies shaded the road. Green vines snaked up the tree trunks. Hints of the startling cerulean sky penetrated the green miasma. I couldn’t see a damn thing, but the road had to lead me somewhere, so I kept driving. The rough dirt road combined with the never-ending twists and turns forced me to proceed slower than I wanted.

Second after second, the tires ate up the dirt road until I no longer saw the bed and breakfast in the rear view mirror. The invisible chain links around my body snapped one by one and my breath evened out. Holy shit. I was doing it. I was going to beat Ryker and the entire Vargas Cartel with only my mind and a rusted out blue sedan. I didn’t have a gun, but I had a car.

With one hand on the steering wheel, I popped the center console, searching for a map or anything that steered me back to civilization. Blindly, I emptied the contents on the seat next to me.

An empty pack of gum.

A few used tissues.

A pen.

A phone charger.

Nothing…

Leaning to the side, while keeping my eyes trained on the road, I opened the glove box, and my heart slammed against the walls of my chest. A cell phone. It was old…the kind with a flip front and barely-existent screen, but as long as it worked long enough to call a number or two, I didn’t care.

My hands shaking, I opened the phone and dialed my dad’s number plus the international code from memory. My dad didn’t participate in the video conference yesterday, but I still thought he was my best option.

With every ring, my heart climbed the walls of my chest.

One ring.

Two rings.

“Come on…pick up.” I squeezed the phone tighter and tighter.

Three rings.

“Dad, answer your fucking phone,” I screamed as I white-knuckled the steering wheel with my free hand.

Four rings.

“Beep.”

“No,” I yelled.

“You’ve reached Richard Covington’s voicemail, please leave a message.”

“Dad, it’s Hattie. Where are you? I need you. I’m lost. I don’t know where I am.” I started to disconnect the call and then I stopped. “Call me on this number,” I added, hoping the number showed up on his missed calls list.

I disconnected the phone call.

My mind cataloged the people I could call. Vera. My mom. My brother. Evan. My mom and brother would be useless. Vera never answered calls from unknown numbers. That left Evan. I wavered a few seconds before I decided to call him, but in the end, I did it.

The waiting started once more.

One ring.

“Hello.”

“Evan,” I whispered. His name rolled off my lips like a benediction. A prayer. Even though I still hated him, he symbolized home and my life before Ryker unhinged everything I knew and believed about my life and myself. Evan cheating on me seemed like an inconsequential hiccup in comparison to my current problems.

“Hattie, baby, is that you?”

Stunned that he answered the phone, I nodded my head, forgetting he couldn’t see me.

“Hattie?” he repeated louder. “Can you hear me?”

“Yes, it’s me.”

“Where are you?”

Fragmented thoughts tumbled from my mouth. “I don’t know. I ran. I got lost. He found me. There was a bed and breakfast. We fought. Why does he do that? There was a car. I stole it, and now I’m driving somewhere. I don’t know where.”

“What? Hattie, you need to calm down and explain.”

I slowed to a stop and surveyed my surroundings. The road dead-ended twenty feet in front of me at a small terra cotta colored cottage with a thatched roof and a light blue front door. Uneven gray stones were stacked on either side of the cottage, forming a rudimentary fence. Brightly colored clothes hung from a string between two wooden posts.

“Oh shit,” I murmured.

“What?”

“I’m at someone’s house.”

“Don’t go in,” Evan warned, but his words sounded faded and distant as reality slapped me across the face.

I fled the bed and breakfast on the one road that was a dead end. No wonder Ryker didn’t run after me. I couldn’t go anywhere except back to the bed and breakfast, or I could get out and run aimlessly through the jungle again, because I couldn’t drive the car through the dense foliage.

“I’m fucked.” The words were a pained whisper ripped straight from my pulverized soul. Defeat churned savagely in my stomach, and I started to cry. I was so sick of crying. “I thought I won. I can’t believe this. I can’t get away from him, and every time I see him I crumble.”

“Who are you talking about?” Evan yelled, and I jerked in reaction to his harsh tone. I’d almost forgotten he was on the phone.

“Him.” I shoved my sweaty hair out my eyes. “Oh God, Evan, I don’t understand how he does it. He touches me, and I try to fight it, but he overwhelms me and I cave. I’m weak. Hopelessly pathetic. Something is wrong with me…so wrong.” My voice fractured on the last word.

“Hattie, you’re scaring me. What are you talking about?”

“He’s corrupted me. I don’t even know who I am anymore,” I said, my voice sounding dead to my ears. My head dropped to the steering wheel and disjointed sobs streamed out of my mouth one after another.

“Listen to me, Hattie. I will find you. I promise. I’m sorry I hurt you. I will do whatever it takes to get you home safely, and then we’ll start over. Believe me, I will never let you go again. It’s you and me forever.”

I wanted to believe him. I wanted my safe, predictable life so much I could practically taste it. Even more, I wanted the life I thought I had before Evan shattered it into a million pieces. “Please, Evan,” I pleaded. “I need to go home. I can’t stand this. I’m so confused.”

“Listen to me. I’m coming for you. I
will
find you. I
will
bring you home, and then we’ll start over. Together we’ll create a new life until we’ve erased all of this shit with bigger, better, and more meaningful memories.”

“Oh God, Evan, I don’t know if it’s possible. I’m so fucked up. This is so fucked up.”

“No,” Evan shouted through the phone. “Don’t you dare give up on me or us, not even for a second. You have to believe you’ll make it out of there.”

“I can’t promise anything. I don’t think he’ll ever let me go home again. I think he’s playing me, breaking me until I’m nothing.”

“No, Hattie, don’t give up. You’re strong. I’m strong. We’ll get through this. I just need you to promise me one thing.”

“What?” I whispered, wiping the waterfall of tears from my face with the back of my knuckles.

“That when I find you, you’ll give me a chance to make things right between us, and we’ll be together again. It’ll be just like old times. You’ll see.”

My mind screamed at me to reject him. How could I promise him a second chance when my fate dangled from a fraying rope? When my body wanted Ryker? But that’s exactly what I did. “Okay. If I ever find my way back, I’ll try to give you that.” I sniffed, lifting my head from the steering wheel, and that’s when I saw him. Ryker stood next to the open driver’s window with his arms folded across his chest.

Clumsy from fear, the phone slid out of my hand, and I screamed as the driver’s side door flung open.

“Get out, now.” It wasn’t his appearance that made him so intimidating. It was the way he carried himself…with the grace of a jaguar. The ancient Mayans, who inhabited this area long before the Europeans arrived, believed their kings and nobles were descended from a jaguar. And when I looked at Ryker, I believed it. He had velvet black hair, flinty predator eyes—watchful yet indifferent—and the sleek grace replicating the legends of the mythical jaguar.

“Screw you,” I hissed through my locked teeth. I shook my head defiantly, but my strength withered under the intensity of his stony, gray gaze. Evan’s voice echoed through the static-filled phone cradled between my legs, but the frenzied pounding of my heart drowned out his words.

Ryker picked up the phone and smashed it against the side of the car, then tossed it back into my lap. Before I could complain, he coiled his hand around my arm, yanking me out of the car with ease. My oversized t-shirt slipped from my shoulder, leaving the top of my breast exposed as he pulled me through the open car door. “Fucking hell,” he said, shoving my t-shirt back up my shoulder. “Tell me who you were talking to.”

“No one.” I refused to make eye contact with him. Eye contact was bad. His eyes had a way of sucking all my hard fought defiance from my tattered soul.

“Look at me.” He grabbed my chin and forced me to look at him. The fine hair on my nape stood on end. “Tell me,” he said with a honeyed menace that chilled me to the bone.

I closed my eyes. The silence stretched, heavy and judgmental, as he waited for me to obey. Slowly, like a gathering storm, tremors erupted in my legs, moving to my torso and then my arms. Within sixty seconds, my entire body shook with rage, fear, and dread. I fisted my hands in my shirt to regain control over my body, but it didn’t help. My sanity dangled from a gossamer thread, and my chest heaved in hysterical gasps.

Ryker tightened his grip on my arm until his fingernails bit into the bruises and scratches covering my skin. “Hattie, I can’t protect you unless I know everything.”

I pried my eyes open, and my lips contorted with disgust. “Protect me? You’re not protecting me. Every time you touch me, you rip me into a thousand pieces that I can never put back together. I’m broken. You broke me.” Panic-stricken sobs tumbled from my mouth. My ears rang with the insanity, pulsing like poison through my veins.

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Then, why don’t you share what you think you know? Help me to understand,” I begged incoherently as I pounded my fists repeatedly against his unyielding chest.

He captured my hands and returned them to my sides. “The less you know, the better,” he said as he stroked his thumbs back and forth over the inside of my wrists.

“I won’t tell anyone. I promise. If I understand what’s going on, I won’t try to run again. I’ll do whatever you ask. Trust me.”

“Hattie.” His powerful body crowded me, maneuvering me backward until my tailbone pressed into the car. “Don’t try to play me. You won’t win.” He shook his head. “Your life would be so much easier if you stopped fighting me. Haven’t you learned anything yet?” he added tenderly.

Tenderness from him was dangerous. I’d seen it over and over. Any time he’d shown me mercy, I tumbled into a deeper, darker hole. Suffocating under his gaze, I wrenched my hand between our bodies and drew several sticky, damp breaths into my heaving lungs. Each molecule of air glued the pieces of my fragmented willpower back together. “Apparently not,” I finally said when the ringing in my ears muted.

“Nothing is the way it seems. There are layers upon layers of things going on here. This isn’t just about you. Remember that, and you’ll be fine.” The words fell from his mouth—low, malicious, and tainted with muddy secrets.

Already teetering on the knife-edge of control, his words shoved me over the cliff and into a never-ending abyss. Fury raged through me…hot, wild, and unhinged. A red fog tainted my vision. I wanted to kill Ryker, piece-by-piece, limb-by-limb, until he embodied the physical manifestation of my ragged mental state. I didn’t care if I ever breathed another breath as long as I experienced the satisfaction of wounding him.