The Back Building (9 page)

I had done it. I managed to get all the way outside. I didn’t know the building had night guards and one of them saw me immediately. I was grabbed swiftly and catapulted against the wall. My belongings were confiscated and I was turned in to the attending physician. I was surprised the attending was a woman. She had a degree in gynecology she told me when I asked. She was tired and in no mood to poke through my past, she simply marched me back to my ward and alerted the entire staff that I had tried to run. Now my chances were nil. In the morning there would be consequences, so I might as well sleep a little.

I was given no choice in the morning when two armed guards came to my room. I was presented to Dr. Macy who shook his head when he saw me.

“You shouldn’t have done that, Iona. Now I have no other option, and nor do you. You are being suppressed.” He said.

I was led to a room with a centralized tranquilizing chair. The chair had a wooden allotment where my head was to be placed. The allotment ensured that my head would remain still during my treatment. Similarly, my arms were buckled into rests that adjoined the chair. Bile rose in my throat as I felt the sting of a sharp needle jab its way into my arm muscle. Then, I felt drowsy and carefree all at once. I must have been carried back to my room for when I woke I was tucked into my bed, shoes traded in for slippers and pajamas on.

Emily peeked into my room half past noon and brought with her a tray of food. There was an apple and some toast that was buttered and spread with strawberry preserves.

“Do you think you can eat?” Emily asked and I sensed her empathy.

“What happened to me?” I asked. I remembered almost nothing.

“You tried to run, and made it outside too, but then the night guards caught you. You were subdued this morning at one a.m. You are scheduled for another shot after lunch so I suggest you eat or you will have a stomach ache.”

“Emily,” I cried, “help me.” My surroundings grew hazy with fog.

Chapter Five

Fatty Patty

When I woke once more it was sometime during the middle of the night. The ward was quiet and stillness surrounded me. My head spun and ached and I felt nauseous. Suddenly, I had a feeling I wasn’t in my normal room. In fact, I wasn’t. I crept out of bed towards the door and opened it slightly. I was on the second ward. I should have known by the foul stench of body odor that permeated the walls. Patients were more disturbed down here and less likely to care about their personal hygiene.

At six o’clock in the morning a woman knocked on my door before barging in. She walked to my bed and grabbed my blanket right off of me. “This is mine now. Hear me, Iona, when I say I run a disciplined hall. I do not tolerate any shenanigans.” She spit when she talked at me.

I gulped and glanced at the tag she wore on her pocket, her name was Patricia. In my mind she was ‘Fatty Patty’. She was large and had body odor so strong it made one dizzy. I plugged my nose when she waded in closer to me to speak again. She yanked my hand from my nose and breathed her stinky coffee breath right into my face. I missed Emily. Was Emily even real?

“You lunatics have no ability to feel, so we don’t keep the ward heated at night. You won’t be needing this.” She already had my blanket, but now she confiscated my sheets too, leaving me to freeze through the afternoon and upcoming night on a bare mattress. I would have to beg for my covers back, or steal them from someone else. This place was turning me into a convict but it was the only way to get along. I had to use my head and get back to the third ward with Emily, Ruth, Rose Mary, and the other ladies.

Worst of all, my nemesis, Cat, had also been transferred to this floor. The second night she made her way into my room and asked if I needed help getting warm. She laughed and then lay down behind me. I hadn’t been tranquilized in twenty-four hours so I was fairly clear headed. If I just gave in to her demands then I wouldn’t have to throttle her, which would only land me in more trouble. Cat started to rub my head and nuzzle my neck. I was stiff all over and terrified of what she wanted. I knew this wasn’t right and began to run scenarios through my head.

“I see you haven’t found yourself a man yet,” I said, although I shouldn’t have.

“No need, you’ll do just fine. You know the real reason I’m in here? My folks said I was too promiscuous. I will just as soon kiss a girl as a man and believe me I have kissed both many, many times. I can’t say one is better than the other.” She continued to stroke my skin and moved her hands upwards towards my breasts where she began fondling the mounds that were growing larger now.

“Please stop. I don’t want to do this. I will scream for Patty.”

“Ha! Just who do you think sent me in here to rid you of your sin?”

“She wouldn’t!”

“Patty is crazier than the lot of us put together. She thinks we’re all the devil’s spawn.”

“I said, get off of me, and get out of my room. Now.”

“Or what?”

I didn’t reply, I just balled my hand into a fist and slammed it into Cat’s nose. The blood poured out of her nostrils in torrents and I was sure I had broken it because it swelled instantly. I opened my door and kicked Cat out.

“You’ll be sorry you did that.” Cat said spitting blood on my wooden floor. I sat on my bed waiting for Patty. She came in full of steam, yanked me up by one arm and led me down a hallway I didn’t know existed. She deposited me in a dank room with no furniture and locked the door. I was left there to rot for the remainder of the night. I lay on the cold floor in a ball, trying to make sense of what was happening to me.

When Patty retrieved me twelve hours later, she warned me, “If the doctor hears about this, it’ll be worse next time. See, I told you I keep order on my hall. Yes I do, I don’t accept any violence, and poor Cat has a broken nose now.”

“She deserved it.” Patty turned around and clocked me one in the gut, then the nose. Bright red blood gushed down my chin but it was the sting of the assault that shocked me into submission. I didn’t think my nose was broken, but I couldn’t be sure. Patty put me in a straight jacket that made any movement impossible. She dragged me to the nurse’s station, and presented me to the gal on duty, “this one walked straight into a wall.” No one questioned the incident and my nostrils were packed with cotton and I was sent back to my room.

“I heard you walked into a wall,” Dr. Macy said at our appointment later that afternoon.

“Yes. It was a hard a wall.” I wasn’t going to admit what happened, I don’t know if he genuinely cared, he had three hundred of his own patients after all. He looked tired today and I knew I was the least of his problems at the moment.

There were over two thousand patients at Willard Hospital, nearly five hundred employees, and an outbreak of bovine tuberculosis that was a threat to the population. People were falling ill all over the facility.

“I’ve given your case a lot of thought. Normally, when underage individuals are brought to us we try our best to keep them amused and occupied. We typically don’t allow them to work like so many of our older patients. I wonder, though, if it might benefit you.” He rubbed his tie as he spoke.

“How so?” I was intrigued.

“Well, we are a self-sustaining property. Meaning that it’s our patients that run the farm, the piggery, the slaughterhouse, the canning factory, the dairy, the garden, the tin shop, the broom shop and so on. Every mattress in the facility is made right here, same with the bedding, the brooms, the baskets and crates. If any of these things interest you in the least, perhaps they would be rewarding. The other option is that we do have a school you could attend on campus. You could probably teach there actually because I assess you are superior to many of our teachers with your English skills.

“I want to work on the farm. Put me with animals so that I can be outside, please.”

“Hmmm. I wouldn’t want you harming any poultry, Iona, this is serious. We depend on our livestock for our daily food and nutrition.”

“I know. Give me a chance please.” I prayed for the job just to get out from under Patty’s firm hand.

“Okay, I have an idea that might work. I will call the foreman and you will start tomorrow after breakfast at the stables. No more hydrotherapy during the week, we will schedule that for the weekend. And, Iona?”

“Yes?”

“Steer clear of the walls from now on, alright?” We both knew I didn’t walk in to a wall, but what happened on the second ward was not entirely in his hands to control.

Chapter Six

Farming

The following morning when I woke I noted the Edison phonograph was in our lounge. It appeared that the lucky, comatose patients of the second ward were in for a treat today. I was sorry I would miss the music but was looking forward to being outside in the fresh air and away from these cuckoos and the sadistic attendee. It was chilly, so I was given long-john’s to wear under my dress. I had a hat and would be given gloves that befit whatever job I was directed to.

The overseer was John Hamm, I stifled a laugh at his name because it was just too ironic to be coincidental. John Hamm oversaw the farm, particularly the piggery.

I was assigned the back-breaking job of mucking out the stalls belonging to Doctor Macy’s team of horses. I was experienced with horses and relished the opportunity to breathe in the sweet hay and be among creatures that didn’t judge me as insane.

At noon my job was nearly complete. I was using the hoe to place fresh straw for the beasts when Mr. Hamm came towards me with a brown paper sack.

“Here’s your lunch. When you’re done you can brush the horses and report back to me.

I unpacked my sandwich, it was ham. I laughed again and bit into it gratefully. There was no one here to cause me any trouble; everyone was too busy. I wondered if Mr. Hamm was a patient as well, and if so, what his ailment was. I often heard that patients were admitted because they were too “excitable” or had weak nerves, or they had schizophrenia. Some were delusional, like me, and others just couldn’t get along in society. No matter I supposed, as long as he was kind to me we would get along fine.

I brushed the horses and braided their tails. I saved the apple from my lunch and fed the pair of horses each a half. They nuzzled into me as their way of saying thanks. I had a frightful thought suddenly. What if this moment wasn’t real? What if it was imagined like the doctor says Hetty and Rose Mary are? I stopped for a moment and looked around my surroundings. I could smell the hay, could smell the piggery down the road. That was something real wasn’t it? I let the horses lick my palms, there was saliva on my hands when I pulled away, or was there? I wiped my hands on my coat, it appeared damp.

“Something wrong with your hands?” An unfamiliar voice asked.

I panicked, afraid I was hearing things now. Startled by the intrusion I looked up to see a young man, maybe a few years older than me, coming my way. How was I to know if he was real? Panic crept in causing a tingling sensation in my forearms and calves. I turned away briskly. I put the hoe away and left the barn to find Mr. Hamm. The voice followed me.

“You there. Wait a minute.”

I stopped in my tracks and waited.

“My name is James, I work in the barns too, and I just wanted to meet you.” He stuck his hand out for me to shake. I felt its rough interior, but I felt Hetty’s once too.

“Nice to meet you, James. I am Iona.” James had a friendly face with large grey eyes that immediately caused the hairs on the back of my neck to stand up. What did Hetty and Rose Mary have in common? Why their friendly nature towards me.

“So you got to work with the princess today, huh?”

“Yes, Savannah is a beauty. I enjoyed her.” I wanted to find Mr. Hamm but was drawn to James and wondered if it mattered if he was really here or not. Just then a foreman called out for James to return to work and he left as quickly as he came. I watched him talk to several men and then go about his business. Had I ever seen Hetty or Rose Mary interact with other people?

It made me wonder. Just then Mr. Hamm approached. “You have done a fine job, Iona. Come back tomorrow and if you continue to work so well, we will put you in charge of the stables.”

“Thank you. Is there anything else I can do today?” I hated to go back to the hospital.

“Not really. Let me guess? You don’t want to go back yet, huh? I understand, how about if you spend another hour getting to know the horses. They need to be able to trust you for when you ride them.” He smiled at me and left.

When I ride them? I was flabbergasted. Mr. Hamm said they needed to be ridden regularly and that the superintendent only took them out on Sundays to church. Finally, things were shaping up for me here. I could get through the rough, cold, unpredictable nights if it meant spending my days here. This filled me with relief.

That night, my teeth chattered as I shivered from the cold that made sleep evasive. I had to devise a plan to steal a blanket, but how? Maybe there was one in the barn. Finding a blanket became the least of my problems. I was being tormented now by Patty who claimed she was just checking on me hourly so the devil didn’t work on me while she was in charge. She didn’t want me to sleep, she knew an hourly wake-up call and no blanket would lead to sleep deprivation and then my relenting. I refused to give in to this ghastly woman. Half way through the night she fitted me into a straight jacket. “So you don’t get any ideas,” she said and left.