Authors: Dallas Schulze
He finally picked up a magazine that featured a laughing infant on the cover and opened it at random, focusing his eyes on the pages as if absorbed in the article there.
Was it taking too long? How long should an appointment like this take? Was Kelly all right? Maybe he should have insisted on talking to the doctor himself. Ben had said he'd call and give her Kelly's history, but maybe it would have been better if he'd talked to her. Not that he could have added anything to what Ben had told her.
Dan scowled at an ad for a car seat. Ben probably knew more about Kelly than he did. If it wasn't for Ben, he wasn't sure he could have gotten her to the doctor without tying her up. Ben had talked her into it, convincing her that it was the best thing to do.
She hadn't wanted to go to the doctor until the swelling around her eye had gone down, until the bruising was gone. Until, as she put it, she looked human. Ben had come by the apartment the night after his first visit, and Kelly had reluctantly allowed him to look at her pupils and to check the bruising over her ribs. He hadn't been happy about her decision but he'd admitted that it probably wouldn't do any harm if she waited a few more days.
Ben. Dan's frown deepened. After she'd gotten over an initial shyness, Kelly seemed far more comfortable with Ben than she was with him. Of course, she didn't share a history with Ben like she did with him.
Dan flipped a page, frowning down at a picture of a mother and father with their smiling infant It was foolish of him to expect her to be anything but uneasy with him. Her brief acquaintance with him had hardly turned her life into a bed of roses.
His memories of New Year's Eve might be hazy from too much whiskey but he remembered enough to know that her first experience with sex hadn't been a totally wonderful one. He shifted uncomfortably, almost wishing he didn't remember that night as well as he did. If he'd known it was her first time, he could have taken more time.
Hell, what was he thinking? If he'd known she was a virgin, he wouldn't have taken her to bed in the first place. Even as drunk as he'd been, that would have gotten through.
If that evening wasn't enough to make her view him with less-than-rose-colored glasses, there was what had happened since. Her father had beaten her when he found out about her pregnancy. And she wouldn't have been pregnant if it hadn't been for his careless stupidity.
Actually, considering everything, it was a wonder she could even stand to be in the same room with him. He was grateful for the small strides they'd made. Given time, he could show her that he wasn't a monster. They'd created a child together. It would be nice if they could manage at least a friendship.
Besides, in the short time he'd known her, he'd developed a real admiration for her. She had a remarkable inner strength. Despite what she'd been through she hadn't been broken. She had survived. He'd been able to piece together only part of her past history, but what he knew had only made him admire Kelly even more.
She had a brother who'd left home when she was a child. The clunky boots were his. There was a certain wistful pain in Kelly's eyes when she mentioned him that led Dan to believe she hadn't heard from him in a long time.
Her mother had died in a car accident when Kelly was twelve. She'd admitted that much when he'd asked about her mother, but she'd said nothing more and something in her eyes had kept him from probing.
If there was a good age at which to lose your mother, twelve certainly wasn't it. It would have been especially hard for a young girl, just entering adolescence. That was a tough time for any kid without adding the death of a parent.
She'd been left with only her father. Dan's fingers crumpled the edge of the magazine, his expression so grim that the woman who'd been sitting on the other end of the sofa got up and moved to a seat across from him. Just the thought of Kelly's father was enough to bring rage boiling up inside.
Kelly didn't want him brought to justice and Dan had agreed to respect her wishes; that didn't mean he couldn't think of all the things he'd like to do to him. His smile held such a savage edge that the woman got up again and moved to a seat farther away.
Dan flipped a page, his smile fading. He'd give up all his fantasies about wringing her father's neck, if he could just be sure that Kelly and the baby were healthy. In the time she'd been staying with him, most of the bruises had faded.
He'd gone out yesterday and bought her a dress, since she could hardly wear his jeans and shirt to the doctor's office. And the dress she'd been wearing when she had come to him was not only ugly, it was a vivid reminder of what she'd gone through.
His eyes softened, remembering her surprise that he'd thought of it. It hadn't mattered that the dress was a little too big so that she had to pull the belt to its tightest notch. She'd pulled it out of the bag, handling the soft green cotton as if it were handwoven silk.
She'd actually had tears in her eyes when she thanked him, Dan remembered, feeling a stir of anger. How long had it been since she'd received a gift? How long had it been since anyone had shown her simple affection? Since her mother died?
He shook his head, forcing his fingers to relax their crushing grip on the magazine. He couldn't do anything about what had gone before. All he could do was see to it that no one ever abused her again.
She was recovering. He could see a change just in the past few days. She no longer flinched every time he got close. She'd gained a pound or two, and there was even a hint of color in her cheeks.
As Ben had said, she was young and surprisingly healthy. She was healing quickly—at least on the outside. The scars that worried Dan were the ones on the inside. Given time, would those heal, too?
"Mr. Remington?" Dan's head jerked up at the sound of his name. The nurse was standing in the doorway to the inner office.
Dan stood, the magazine falling to the floor. He bent to pick it up, nearly banging his head on the center table as he did so. He fumbled the magazine onto the table, feeling like a fool, sure that everyone was watching him as he moved toward the door.
The nurse showed him into an office painted in warm peach shades, undoubtedly designed to soothe the nerves of anxious patients. It didn't seem to have any such beneficial effect on Dan. His imagination had been working overtime for days, creating any number of vague but horrific pictures. Being in the doctor's office only brought them to more vivid life. Thankfully he didn't have long to wait.
He stood as the door opened, braced as if for a blow. Kelly entered first but he could read nothing from her expression, as usual. He had a feeling she'd spent a lot of years hiding her feelings. Dr. Linden followed her, a slender woman in her early forties, with rather ordinary features and kind eyes.
"You must be Mr. Remington," she said, her eyes flicking over him in a glance that missed nothing. "Kelly tells me you're the father of her child."
"Yes," Dan admitted, feeling much as he had when his third-grade teacher had discovered that he was the one responsible for the toad that found its way into her desk. "Is everything all right? The baby, I mean. And Kelly?"
"They're both fine, Mr. Remington. Why don't you sit down and we'll discuss what I'd like Kelly to do. She's agreed that you should be here."
"Thank you," Dan said to Kelly.
"It's your baby," she said quietly as she sank into one of the chairs that sat across from Dr. Linden's desk.
She listened with half an ear as the doctor told Dan that she was prescribing vitamins. Kelly wondered if anyone but her had noticed that Dan asked about the baby first, adding her only as an afterthought. Not that she had any reason to expect anything else. It was just that he'd been so kind and thoughtful, it was easy to forget that his main concern was for the baby.
The baby she tried so hard not to think about. The baby she'd promised to give up. Kelly forced her thoughts back to the present.
"I spoke with Dr. Masters and he gave me Kelly's history, or as much of it as he knew," Dr. Linden was saying. She glanced down at her notes. "As I've already told Kelly, it would have been advisable for her to have seen me right away, rather than waiting as you have."
"Is there some problem?" Dan leaned forward in his chair, his body tense.
"As I told you, both mother and child seem to be in fine health, Mr. Remington. Remarkable health, really, considering what Dr. Masters told me. Kelly is a little too thin. I've drawn blood to test for anemia but, overall, I think they're both doing quite well."
Kelly felt the breath Dan exhaled as he leaned back in his chair. Relief that the baby was okay, she reminded herself. She couldn't forget that
"It says here that you should be eating plenty of fruits and vegetables and drinking lots of milk." Dan looked up from the booklet he was studying to frown at the hamburger that sat in front of Kelly.
"There's lettuce and tomato on the hamburger," she offered. "And French fries are a vegetable."
"I don't think that's what they've got in mind. But the milk shake is good. You'll need lots of calcium."
Kelly dunked a French fry in catsup, biting into it without enthusiasm. She'd hesitated when he suggested going out to lunch after her doctor's visit. Every instinct told her that the less time she spent with Dan Remington, the better off she'd be. She had to keep some distance between them.
She'd only rarely eaten in a restaurant, and in her new dress she felt almost pretty. Dan had chosen a coffee shop not far from Remembrance's one and only mall. Kelly hadn't even been sure she was hungry, but the smell of food brought her appetite to life. It seemed as if all she did lately was eat and sleep.
"I suppose I should start looking for another place to stay," she said, thinking of the fact that he'd been sleeping on the sofa, which was about two inches too short for his long frame.
"What?" Dan dropped the booklet and focused his full attention on her. "Why?"
"Well, you're sleeping on the sofa."
"The sofa and I are getting along just fine." Dan nodded his thanks as the waitress topped off his coffee. "If that's why you're talking about moving out, forget it."
Kelly stirred a French fry through the catsup, her eyes on the aimless movement. "You never planned on me staying with you. That was just because—because of what happened."
"I thought we'd been getting along pretty well together."
"We have. I mean, you've been very nice. But I don't want to intrude. I know you'd like to have your bed back. And you're probably sick of having me underfoot."
"You're not underfoot," Dan said, sounding vaguely irritable.
"Well, it wasn't part of the plan..."
"Would you stop making it sound like a war document?" Forgetting that the waitress had just filled his cup, he picked up his coffee, taking a gulp.
"Dammit!" He set the cup down with a bang, cursing again as the scalding liquid splashed out onto his hand. Snatching up a paper napkin he dabbed at the burn.
His scowl brought a familiar tightness to Kelly's stomach. She lowered her hands to her lap.
"I'm sorry."
"What are you apologizing for?" Dan looked at her, one eyebrow raised. "Because I'm a clumsy idiot?"
"I didn't mean to upset you,"
"You didn't upset me. I mean you did but I'm not upset upset. Oh, for crying out loud." He tossed the napkin down in disgust "Just because I get upset doesn't mean I'm mad at you and it sure as hell doesn't mean I'm going to start pounding on you."
His words startled her into looking at him. "I know that"
"Do you? Then why is it that I end up feeling like Dracula?"
"I don't know," she answered honestly.
"Probably my own guilty conscience," Dan muttered. "Look, do you want to move out?"
"I...that was the idea."
"I know that was the idea. But I've given it some thought and I'm not sure it's such a great idea. I could find you a place but I don't like the idea of you living alone. What if you got sick or fell?"
"Lots of pregnant women live alone," she pointed out, not exactly arguing.
"Not while they're carrying my child," he said firmly. "I want you to stay with me."
"I'd be fine on my own."
"But you're not going to be on your own."
Kelly pushed away her half-eaten meal. "I don't want to intrude on your life like that."
"Intrude on my life? You're carrying my baby."
"Do you think I can forget that?" she snapped. Did he have to bring it up all the time? She could never pretend, even for an instant, that he was here because he wanted to be with her. Did he think she didn't remember that she was pregnant? There was never a moment when she could forget it, never a moment when her emotions didn't seesaw back and forth over it.
She stared out the window at the overcast sky, wishing she could get up and walk away. But there was nowhere to go, no one she could turn to. And the sad fact was that a part of her didn't even want to go.
"Kelly? Do you really want to move out?"
"Yes. No. I don't know." She shrugged, irritated that she couldn't answer more firmly.
"That's what I like, a really decisive answer." Dan's voice held a gentle amusement that only confused her more. Every shred of common sense said that she couldn't possibly like him. He'd torn her life apart, though she was willing to admit to sharing the responsibility for that. Still, she'd been the one to bear the punishment for their carelessness. She was the one whose body was going through changes that left her off balance and irritable.