The Awakening (57 page)

              He smiled.

              "So, was Nolan calling you from the airport?" she asked.

              Thanatos sighed. "No."

              "From where then?"

              Thanatos shrugged. "Your driveway. He was on his way to the airport. Dropped by for a second to make sure I was still guarding you. He saw I wasn't in the truck."

              Raina jumped up, and started for the door.

              "He's gone, Raina. I told you it was just for a second. He was pissed I was in the house."

              She frowned. "Well, let him be pissed!"

              Thanatos grinned. "I like this Raina," he teased.

              She rolled her eyes.

"I'm here," he sighed. "To keep you from going off the deep end."

              She laughed. "Aren't you over that already?"

              He growled, and then gave a chuckle. "Yeah, long ago...that’s why it’s good you have me around, to spot the signs."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

              Raina started moving about normally in the following weeks. She returned to her hikes in the woods, but never without Thanatos. There was still the threat, even without Nolan around, that Richard would show up. Thanatos would be able to sense some sort of danger, even if he was not strong enough to fight him. Raina also was counting on his strange ability of persuasion.

              Emily and Bradley started questioning his appearance, and Nolan’s absence, but there was never a clear cut answer. Bradley only knew Nolan had taken a few weeks’ vacation, with no word of where he would be. Emily’s only concern was the seemingly changed Thanatos, whom she had yet to trust!

              Raina liked him near. He was pleasant now. No more perverted remarks or flirting. He was kinda and good ear. He was changing but he still had an edge he would never be completely free of.

              There was one deciding factor in his inability to completely change; the she-devil. Raina hated his constant calls from Elenora.

              Thanatos answered them, and was always a mess after them. He deserved to be set free, but that would never happen...not by Elenora's choice.

              The day a disturbing call came from him nearly wrecked Raina.

              "Elly is coming for a visit," he sighed into the phone.

              "You aren't going to see her...."

              "Raina, I have no choice. I am bestowed to her."

              "You have been able to fight her though emotionally by befriending Nolan and I. She can't completely own you," she protested.

              "Not emotionally," he whispered flatly. "I was bestowed to her for...other reasons. Raina, do we have to go over this again?" he growled.

              Raina bit her lip. "Physical? This is a visit so she can...."

              "Yeah," he sighed.

              "Thanatos, no," she whispered.

              "Don't call me that." he growled.

              Raina drew in a breath. "I don't know what to call you," she whispered.

              "Just not death."

              "I don't want you to go to her."

              "I don't have a choice. I am hers, for this purpose.”

              Raina was close to tears. "But you know what this will do to you," she whispered. "I would give anything not to see you used again."

              He was silent on the other line for just a moment. "I will survive, Raina. I always do. I may even enjoy myself," he said sarcastically. There was an edge of pain in that statement.

              "I hate her," she whispered.

              "I know you do."

              "I hate her for wanting my Nolan, and I hate her for using you."

              He sighed into the phone. "I have to go get ready, beautiful."

              "Come over...after. I want to be sure you're okay."

              "I'll call."

              "Come over," she argued.

              "Raina, I'm not going to want to come over after, okay? I will call you," he said softly.

              She drew in a breath. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "I wish I could shield you from her...like you did that night for me with Richard."

              "I wish you could too," he chuckled sadly. "I'll be all right. You just keep safe."

              Raina blinked tears. "I'll try." she sucked in a breath, when a sob threatened.

              He cleared his throat. "Don't cry, Raina," he soothed. "That only makes this harder for me. I don't need to know you care. I need to shut it all off....and knowing you're worrying...it just makes it harder."

              "How am I supposed to help it? You're my friend, and I...I just don't want you hurt."

              "Don't waste your time Raina...I'm a big boy. I don’t need you blubbering about this." His words held a hard edge. He was pushing her away.

              She frowned at his words. "Fine," she growled. "Have fun with all the sex tonight! Hope you don't pull any muscles." She hung up after her sarcastic remark, and regretted it immediately. She called him right back, but without surprise, he did not answer.

              She growled, and tossed her phone aside.

              Turk sat with his head cocked.

              "He deserved it," she sighed. "He wants to be hard hearted, that’s fine!" She bit her lip. She still wanted to snatch back her words. He was right...this was something out of her hands.

              She looked to Turk, whose ears lifted. "Wanna go on a ride boy?"

              She was soon driving down a familiar stretch of road, and pulling into an apartment complex. She walked up the stairs, and stood at Nolan’s door. Her last time here, she'd thrown herself into his arms and she'd watched him get shot. These were not exactly a happy memories...but it was what she had. She knocked, feeling silly...he wasn't there.

              A neighbor poked his head out the door, and smiled at Raina. "You were looking for Nolan?"

              She nodded, stepping toward him. "Have you seen him?"

              The neighbor grinned. "He moved out a few weeks ago."

              Raina frowned, and then offered a half smile. "Thank you." She turned and hurried back to the car and her pooch. She bit back tears.

He moved out? Thanatos would have surely told her if he knew this had happened. Where was he? Why was it so easy for him to pick up and leave what he knew?

              "Nearly two hundred years of moving," she whispered. She just needed to get away...somewhere she could think.

              The park-forest! It was their spot....somewhere she'd be able to sort these troubled thoughts.

              Even Turk recognized, as they pulled in.

              They hurried down the path. The sound of the river was music to her ears. She felt peace almost immediately. She allowed Turk to run forward. It was cruel that his friend would not be there where he was expecting him.

              She had to admit, she even felt a tug of disappointment when she rounded the trees, and it was only the rolling river, and beautiful green forest...and their rocks. No gorgeous Nolan with his rolled up cuffs and boyish grin.

              Was he still in the area? Did he still come to his spot to think? To unwind?

              With a sigh, she moved toward the rocks, and even managed to crawl up on her usual spot. Not so easy without Nolan lifting her without effort, but she made it. She smiled down on Turk who whined. "Not a chance buddy," she laughed.

              She sighed and looked out over the water.

              Nolan should be here now. They should be enjoying this together, wading in the shallow water by the shore. He should be telling her one of his stories, or coaxing one out of her. It wasn't right that she was here without him!

              She missed him. She missed him so much that she felt physically ill. She needed her healer…just one touch would set her right.

              Raina jumped from the rock, and patted Turks head. He nudged her back with his nose, and whined. "I know," she sighed. She roughed his fur again.

              Turk barked at her in agitation.

"Should I call Nolan?"

              Turk whined and gave another bark, recognizing the name.

              Raina reached into her pocket, and pulled her phone out, hoping the call would go through. She sighed, in resolve. If anything, she'd hear his voice on his message...he surely wouldn't answer. She woke the screen, and hit his speed dial number. It rang, and then went to voice mail.

              His voice alone warmed her to her toes, and made her chest ache with loneliness. She pulled in a breath, when the beep came. "I was just thinking of you. I miss you...I'm worried over you. You've moved. I just...I'm just really confused, Nolan. If you think being gone long enough will make me forget you...stop loving you? It can't, and I won't. I'm at our spot, and I just want you here too." She ended the call. Her lip did tremble, and she allowed herself to cry.

              Turk licked her hand, and leaned his big body against her. She knelt beside him, hugging him around the neck. She let her tears wet his soft fur. The sound of the water teased her ears as she allowed the remainder of the tears flow out.

She pulled back and looked at the pooch, when she had no more. Turk licked her face, ridding her of her tears, and making her laugh.

              "We don't belong here without him," she whispered to the dog. "Let’s go." She started back up the trail, Turk close beside her. They took their time, enjoying the sights and the peace nature always brought. Raina felt herself coming back into control of herself.

They reached the car and she ushered Turk in, climbing in herself. She sat for a moment, staring out into the forest, then started up the car, and pulled easily out, making for the entrance.

              She had just reached the road and was starting to pull out, just as a red Charger pulled in, and she froze. The windows were tinted, and she had no way of knowing...but what were the chances?

              Turk went a little batty, whining.

              "We'll see," she whispered. "No harm in a little stalking." She did a U turn there, and followed slowly behind the vehicle. It did not stop at the parking spot, their usual spot, but the brake lights did light up, slowing down, as if taking a gander.

              Raina felt silly. Why would Nolan come running to their spot because she'd said she was there? How much easier would it be to pick up the phone?

              But Turk still whined, eyes on the car ahead of them.

              Raina wished she'd just continued on. She was so disappointed now...what was she thinking? Nolan would fall to pieces over the mention of their place, and drop everything to see her? She followed the car back to the park entrance.

              They stopped at the sign to the entrance. Turk began barking and whining.

              "I know you recognize the car," she said gently to the dog. "But it’s not the driver you want."

              The Charger turned one way, she went the other. She needed home...the comfort and sanctuary of home. She sped up a little, anxious. Thanatos would be calling in a couple hours...she hoped he didn't have to spend more than a few hours with her. She sure needed him, and after his ordeal, he was going to need her as well.

              She made dinner for herself, and then took it and her phone out on her deck. It was a cool evening. Her eyes skimmed the line of trees behind the house, and her heart fluttered. She thought of the days, maybe nights, Nolan watched from that wood. Had all of that been forgotten so easily? The need to watch and protect?

              She drew in a breath. "No, it wouldn't have!" her voice was full of tears. Either, he was watching her closely, or he was having another do it. She thought of Thanatos and his watchful eye. Had he been in contact with Nolan all this time? Did he not tell her to spare her feelings?

              "Frowning will give you wrinkles."

              Raina glanced up from her dinner, and half smiled at Thanatos. She set her plate down, and went to him.

              "I'm sorry about what I said."

              He shook his head. "You were upset."

              She looked into his eyes, and saw the cost this evening had been. "I thought you weren't coming over," she said softly, shyly.

              "I needed to," he sighed              . "The sex was great by the way," he said wearily.

              "I didn't mean it," she whispered. "I really didn't"

              He nodded. "I have to joke," he admitted...or I'll..." he shook his head.