Authors: Elizabeth Chadwick
Matilda went to the door. A few words, a swift summons, and a pleasant-faced woman ushered three children into the room – a girl and two boys, in perfectly stepped ages. ‘Come,’ Matilda said. ‘Greet your grandmother and kneel to her.’
The children obeyed their mother swiftly, glancing at each other in a way that told Alienor they had been practising their manners.
‘This is Richenza,’ Matilda said, as Alienor bade the children stand. She set a light hand on her daughter’s shoulder. The girl was just starting to bud into womanhood. She had a curly mane of red-gold hair and serious deep blue eyes. A child who knew her worth but was very conscious of her duty.
‘Save for the hair, she looks so much like you,’ Alienor said. ‘I thought my heart would break when I had to bid you farewell.’
Matilda nodded. ‘My heart too, Mama, but we have both survived have we not?’
‘After a fashion,’ Alienor said, grimacing.
Matilda indicated the two boys. ‘Heinri and Otto,’ she said. ‘Lothar we had to leave behind as a pledge.’ A look of pain
flashed across her face. ‘But we shall see him again soon enough.’
The boys swept her more flourishes. Otto the younger one had an auburn tint to his dark hair, and a dusting of freckles across his nose. His impish expression made Alienor want to laugh and the hard lump of endurance at her core dissolved a little. Heinri was upright and proper, very much the heir. ‘What fine men you have brought me,’ she declared. ‘Brave young knights to defend and protect their grandmother.’
The boys preened and puffed out their chests, especially Otto.
‘I have something for you,’ Alienor told the children and directed them to a large wooden chest near the window, holding toys that had belonged to her sons and which she had had brought from Winchester with the baggage. She had been unable to bear looking inside it herself, but a new generation of children would bring joy to the moment and diminish the shadows. She watched them fall on the contents with the eagerness of wolves upon a fresh kill in winter, and felt a pang when they exchanged excited chatter in German of which she understood only a smattering.
‘Heinrich hopes to reconcile with the Emperor so that we may go home soon, and Papa is interceding on our behalf too,’ said Matilda. ‘At least for now we have a home, and it will be so good to see my brothers when they arrive.’ Her face fell as she realised what she had said. ‘I grieve for Harry. I am glad I have been able to mourn at his tomb instead of from afar, but he should not be dead – not Harry.’
Tears stung Alienor’s eyes. ‘No,’ she said, ‘he should not.’
‘I remember sitting on the rump of his horse and holding on to him tightly because he wanted to gallop.’ Matilda’s voice quivered. ‘I didn’t scream, I just gripped him for dear life, and I could feel the laughter in him going through the palms of my hands and into my heart. That is the memory I will hold of him in the same way I held him on that day.’
Alienor had to swallow before she could speak. ‘You are right
to do so; no one can take it from you, even if they take everything else. I have often wished I had never wed your father for then I would have had none of this great grief, but then I see you, my daughter, and I see my grandchildren at play and I can never regret such blessings. You are my greatest consolation.’
She glanced at the boys who had found a pair of wooden hobby horses with red leather reins and some toy lances and were already intent on conducting an indoor tourney. Richenza had discovered four brightly coloured juggling balls and was throwing and catching them with aplomb.
‘You have the skills of a proper tumbler,’ Alienor said, forcing her way through her sorrow.
‘Grandpa taught me,’ Richenza said.
Alienor raised her brows. ‘Did he indeed?’
Richenza threw one higher than the rest and deftly caught it. ‘Yes, but he can throw and catch a lot more balls at once.’
‘That’s because he has had longer to practise, and he does it all the time, but I will tell you something – sometimes he drops them.’
And then he stands on them and grinds them into the dirt.
Richenza eyed her quizzically. ‘I haven’t seen him do that.’
‘I hope you never do.’
Exchanging a swift glance with Matilda, Alienor swallowed her bitterness.
‘He is a good grandfather.’ Matilda’s tone was conciliatory. ‘He treats us well and is doing his best for our situation.’
‘Then that is all to the good,’ Alienor said neutrally.
‘Do you remember when I pretended I was a shoemaker and took away Papa’s good kid slippers and put big green stitches in them with woollen thread?’
Alienor gave a reluctant smile. ‘Indeed I do.’ Such occasions had been infrequent because Henry had usually been off somewhere on matters of government, but in the rare moments they had come together as a family he had always had time for his children when they were small. It was only as they matured and became old enough to send away in marriage or to challenge his will that he had changed.
‘He
never complained or told me off. He played along with my childish whim – and I loved him for that. He was the best father in the world – so I thought then.’ She flicked her mother a defensive glance. ‘You were the one who set down the rules and educated me in what it would mean to be a great lady and a consort for a man of high standing. I used to think you were too strict – until I had a daughter of my own.’ She blinked hard. ‘I have memories of him that are like jewels, and others that are stones, but my memories of you are always consistent, Mama.’
‘And are they jewels or stones?’ Alienor asked with a strained smile.
‘Neither,’ Matilda answered. ‘They are pure gold.’
Alienor patted Matilda’s hand, touched to tears but experiencing a small moment of humour at the pun on her own name. She had been christened Alienor after her mother Aenor for the meaning was ‘another Aenor’, but her name also meant ‘Pure Gold’. ‘I have kept you in my prayers every day,’ she said. ‘I tried to instil duty to your family within you, but I admit that when I knew you were to wed a man thirty years older than you were, I was apprehensive.’
Matilda smiled and shook her head. ‘You have no cause to worry, Mama. Heinrich treats me very well.’ Her expression grew fond. ‘He can be irritable when he’s tired or upset, but he cares for me and he sees beyond my role to who I am. Papa chose well when he chose Heinrich, even if it was for his own political purpose.’
The boys had abandoned their tourney and were now crawling about the floor, busy with some painted wooden knights once owned by Harry who, as a laughing child, had done the same with his brother Richard. Once more Alienor’s eyes filled with tears.
‘I am sorry,’ she said. ‘This comes upon me without my will.’
‘Harry loved those knights, didn’t he?’ Matilda’s chin wobbled too. ‘I knew I might never see him again when I went to Germany, but it was comfortable to know he was still
in the world. Now …’ She broke off, and the women embraced, hugging each other, sharing their grief.
Eventually Alienor drew back and wiped her eyes. ‘Ah enough. I have wept an ocean already. Has your father spoken of Harry to you?’
Matilda frowned. ‘No, Mama. His grief is buried deep. It is like a thorn in his flesh that works its way in and festers, but on the surface is nothing but a dark shadow. I pity him.’
‘Then you are more charitable than I am,’ Alienor replied. ‘The place in my heart where such feelings once dwelt has withered and will never grow green again.’
Matilda said nothing and by mutual consent the women turned their attention to the children, because there was nothing more to say, and Alienor did not want to become the focus of her daughter’s pity too.
Alienor had retired to her chamber for the night when Richard came to see her, having ridden in long after dusk. When she started to send for food, he refused. ‘I ate with my father – not that I especially wanted to, but I was obliged out of duty. If you have decent wine, though, I will drink it.’
‘Decent wine in your father’s house?’ Alienor curled her lip. ‘That would be taking miracles too far – but Belbel managed to find a barrel that wasn’t completely vinegar and appropriate it for my use.’
Dismissing her women, she served him herself and, as she handed him the cup, experienced a moment of love and terror for him that was almost pain. Thus far he had lived a charmed life given how vigorously he threw himself into battles, but that could end on the single thrust of a spear and there was nothing she could do to protect him.
‘Your brother …’ Her voice broke.
He was on his feet in an instant and his arms were around her, drawing her close. She held him tightly and wept again for her lost son and the living one in her arms.
‘We were young together all our lives,’ Richard said in a
constricted voice. ‘I know we argued; at times I hated him; but I loved him too and he was always there. Now there is a hole and I cannot bear to look at it, yet neither can I bear to cover it with earth.’
‘I know, I know,’ Alienor whispered, while tears rolled down her face.
‘Things could have been so different.’ His breathing was heavy with grief and anger.
Making a tremendous effort, she drew back from their embrace. ‘Yes, they could, but it’s done with; and nothing can ever bring him back.’
‘I know, Mama.’ His jaw muscles flickered with tension. ‘I have to step into the breach. I have to be more than I was before because of those who depend on me.’
She understood his anxiety. Suddenly he was the one standing at the prow of the ship to receive the full onslaught. No longer could he go about his own business and have that layer of protection because his father was looking elsewhere. Standing at the mast was a lonely position.
‘You will rise to it. I have taught you well, as has your father, and even if you can only rely on yourself, you have everything within you that you need.’
His jaw relaxed a little. ‘Yes, Mama. It is not what I saw in my future, but I must change to face the weather.’
They sat down to drink their wine. Alienor looked at the firelight gleaming on his hair, turning it to ruddy flame. His face was handsome and firmly masculine. He was twenty-six years old and stood in his own light, but he was still her child, her precious, beloved son.
‘Did your father speak to you of the inheritance this evening?’
‘No. He wanted to know how I was dealing with matters in Poitou, and required an accounting of funds, but his talk was of general matters.’ His mouth twisted. ‘John was clinging to him like a spider as he always does.’ His tone held a mingling of contempt and aggravation. ‘God knows what goes on in that mind of his, because no one else does.’
‘He
is your brother, and you have one less now.’
Richard shrugged. ‘He was always just a little boy clinging to his nurse’s knees, or running after our father and being swatted away, and now suddenly here he is with a fledgling beard and a child in the cradle if what I hear is true – a child he has chosen to give my name.’
‘Yes.’ Alienor’s voice was subdued. ‘I am afraid it is true on both counts.’
‘Then I hope the naming is from admiration, and a desire for that child to emulate his uncle when he grows up.’ He waved his hand. ‘I do not know John, and I need to. Harry was always closer to him than I was. Perhaps a few games of dice and flagons of wine are in order. I have no idea what he was saying to Papa when I arrived, but he’s definitely been whispering in his ear. Certainly he looked very pleased with himself.’
‘That is John’s way. If it was about you, then at least you are aware of it, but knowing how clever he is, perhaps his timing was intended to discomfort you.’ She set her wine aside and leaned forward to take his hand. ‘I love you. I love all my sons, but you hold the greatest future in your hands. Forget John for the moment; let him play as he will and listen to me. It is for you to be strong, to wield your power with passion and desire. You must not allow your hurt and grief to betray you but to keep you focused on what it is you want. Do you understand me?’
His gaze narrowed and he became like a lion intent on the hunt. ‘Yes,’ he said. ‘Yes, Mama, I do.’
‘You must use your will and your power to obtain what is yours. Do not be dissuaded under any circumstances to compromise. Take what is your entitlement and let the crumbs fall that are not worth arguing over. In these negotiations concerning the future there will be issues to which you might not agree.’
‘I am prepared to deal with that, Mama. I have done all that is asked of me and I am ready to fulfil my obligations. I refuse to wear Harry’s shoes, but I will take his banner forward, and
face my father to discuss what is best for the future.’ He raised his head proudly. ‘I will be his son, I will be his heir, but I will not be his minion.’
Alienor’s heart swelled and she gripped both of his hands. ‘God grant all mothers such a son as you.’
Alienor stood straight and still while Amiria and Belbel robed her in gold brocade. The silk was Sicilian, a gift from Joanna that had been stitched by Belbel into a glorious court dress. Until now Alienor had lacked a fitting opportunity to wear the gown, but today was the gathering to discuss the succession. Henry was being highly circumspect and had told her nothing of his plans, nor had he spoken to Richard and Geoffrey. John knew more, she was certain; he had that look on his face and he had been avoiding her, which usually meant he was plotting something.