Read The Automatic Detective Online
Authors: A. Lee Martinez
I grabbed Ringo by the back of his jacket and lifted him off the ground. He was swearing, red-faced, clutching his hand.
"Thanks for the help," I told Jung.
He shrugged. "Forget about it."
"My hand!" whined Ringo. "You broke my goddamn hand."
My sympathy ratio for him was remarkably low. I grabbed him by the shoulder and dragged him over to the bar. No one tried to stop me. No one even looked as if they cared. Except for the bouncers, who had yet to make a move. They might change their minds in a minute, but for now they decided Ringo wasn't worth the trouble.
"You got a phone?" I asked the bartender.
"Sure."
"Who are you calling?" asked Jung.
I wasn't sure. The impulse and the number just came to me the moment I laid hands on Ringo.
The phone rang three times and someone picked up. It wasn't Grey or Knuckles, but I had no doubt it was one of their buddies.
"Yeah?"
"It's Megaton," I said. "I've got Ringo."
The voice on the end made a snorting noise. I told him where we were, and he said he was sending over a ride, a gray Condor. That was it. I didn't hesitate, and I knew I'd hand Ringo over because Grey had me by the directives. My artificial will was no longer entirely my own, but there was still some leeway. I'd give Ringo up, but not before I got a chance to question him.
"Thanks, Jung. You can go home now. Or have another drink. I've got him now." I lifted Ringo off the ground and gave him a hard shake. "Trust me. You don't want to see what's about to happen."
"You fuckin' bastard!" roared Ringo. "You're gonna pull my damn arm off!"
"Relax, Tony," I said. "You've got three others."
"Okay, Mack. It's your call." Jung hopped back to his seat on the bar. "Just try to stay out of trouble."
"I'm not the one in trouble." I shook Ringo again. He howled. "And thanks again. I wouldn't have caught him without you."
Jung smiled very slightly. "I know."
I dragged Ringo through the kitchen and into the back alley. It was a quiet place to talk. The only other resident was a bum snoozing by a Dumpster. No telling what other weird science doodads Ringo might have tucked away in that coat, though I suspected if he'd had anything useful, he would've already pulled it. I threw him face first into the wall and performed a
quick search. I turned up a shiny new Zap and Heater raygun, the very latest model. In the interest of public safety, I crushed it and tossed it into the Dumpster.
The door swung open, and Lucia, her loyal butler auto at her side, stepped into the alley. I couldn't get rid of her. Still, I tried.
"You aren't going to want to see this, Lucia," I said. "It's not going to be pretty."
"You'd be surprised what she's seen," said Humbolt.
I sighed, but I had higher priority dictates than one spoiled little rich girl.
"The Bleakers, Tony."
"Piss off, tinman."
"That attitude is only going to make this harder."
I slammed Ringo against the wall a few times. Not hard enough to break anything, but enough to get his attention.
"Oh, you are making a big goddamn mistake, you stupid metalhead," groaned Ringo. "When my friends hear about this they're going to burn you a new exhaust port."
"We both know you don't have any friends, Tony. I don't know how much time we have here, so we're going to have to be quick. I'll say it again: Bleakers. What did you do with them?"
I flipped him around and held him by the collar. I would've grabbed him by the throat, but I didn't want to accidentally snap his neck. Biologicals could be so fragile.
"I don't know any Bleakers, man."
I thumped him in the breadbox with a single finger. He exhaled painfully.
"I know you're stupid, Tony, but I didn't think you were stupid enough to lie to a robot." I tapped my gut where my electronic brain was housed. "Memory matrix never lies."
"Yeah, yeah," he wheezed. "I know 'em. But I didn't have nothing to do with their disappearance. I swear."
I shook my head. "Tony, you really are an idiot. I didn't say anything about a disappearance."
"Yeah, you did."
I tapped my gut again. "Memory matrix, Tony."
"Look, you can do whatever you want, but I ain't telling you shit."
"See, here's the thing, Tony . . ."
I grabbed his broken hand and squeezed. He screamed. I squeezed a little harder, and he screamed a lot louder. His fingers were bent in painful, unnatural angles. He must've been tougher than I gave him credit for because he stopped screaming, glaring through teary eyes.
"You fuckin' defect! You goddamn—" His string of swears became incomprehensible. The risk of caving in his skull kept me from smacking him. Instead, I let him slide down the wall and sob for thirty-five seconds.
Lucia was beside me now. My facial analyzer came up blank. She definitely wasn't bothered by this, but whether or not she liked it, I couldn't tell.
"Tell him what he wants to know, Tony," she said. "It'll only get worse."
Ringo pursed his lips tightly shut.
I hoisted him off his feet. "Pick an arm."
Ringo gritted his teeth and spit into my face. The saliva dripped down my faceplate. I didn't know if he thought I was bluffing or if he was just stupid. But he shrieked his head off when I snapped his right ulna.
I gave him another thirty-five seconds to collect himself.
"Oh, quit your whining, Tony. It's a small break."
"You're crazy."
"No, Tony sweetie," said Lucia Napier from behind me. "Dear Mack here isn't crazy. He's a merciless killing machine."
"I told you, tinman," grumbled Ringo hoarsely. "I ain't telling you nothing."
"I'll give you credit, Tony. According to my predictability profile, you should've talked by now. Either you're tougher than I gave you credit for or you think someone is scarier than me. Guess I'll have to show you how serious I am."
He was trembling, sweating, and crying.
Napier was right. I didn't have mercy. Not that I wanted to hurt Ringo. His bones snapped too easily to give me much satisfaction.
"Have it your way. But I don't have much time, and you've got a lot of arms."
"Wait, wait!" Ringo kept squirming in my iron grip, but he wasn't going anywhere. "I don't know nothing! I swear I don't! They don't tell me anything! And even if I could tell you where they're keeping the kid, it wouldn't make any difference. It's too late to stop it now."
Since my faceplate was featureless, I could keep my surprise to myself. I didn't understand much of what Ringo was talking about, but I got the meat of it. Someone had taken the Bleakers for one of the kids. But which kid and for what purpose?
"Tell me who has them," I said. "That's all I want to know."
Ringo looked puzzled. "Wait a minute. You don't know?"
"Know what?"
He frowned. "You don't work for Greenman?"
"Never heard of him."
"Oh, shit! You really don't know who he is. You really just care about that family." He started laughing. It was a rough, humorless chuckle that danced on the edge of hysteria. "You poor, dumb defect, you got no idea what you're in the middle of."
Before I could ask what he meant, light flooded the alley. I marveled at how fast Grey's guys had gotten here. Then I realized it wasn't a gray Condor descending, but a cherry red Albatross.
The Albatross was a luxury rotorcraft, meaning it was big and blocky: a flying rectangle of steel with some fins stuck on the tail for style. Its three whisper-quiet rotors kicked up a lot of wind and dust as it landed beside the Dumpster. The rotors slowed but kept spinning as I gathered these guys weren't planning on sticking around long.
"Mack, what's going on?" asked Lucia.
"I told you to go back in the club," I said. "Now shut up and stay back."
Whether she was insulted or not, she had enough sense not to argue.
The Albatross's back doors slid open. Two goons stepped out. They walked in front of the headlights to try and stay shadowy, but my polarized opticals gave me a clear view of a couple of rough-looking biologicals. One had a thick neck and a harelip. The other had yellow skin and white hair and had a clear dome filled with some kind of bluish gas over his head. He also had tentacles instead of arms. Both wore suits, and Harelip had his jacket open to show a raygun tucked in his belt.
"Oh, krask, am I glad to see you guys," said Ringo. "I thought I was done for."
Dome Head spoke. He didn't move his lips, but some veins throbbed on his temples and a voice issued from a speaker strapped around his throat. The noise that came out was gibberish to me, but Ringo seemed to understand. He replied in some gibberish of his own. I was fluent in twenty-eight different languages, and I didn't get a word of it.
While Dome Head and Ringo shared their brief exchange,
Harelip stared at me. He stood stock still. I couldn't detect him even breathing. He just kept staring.
Dome Head must've said something that put Ringo off because his next reply was in plain old English. "Hey, I know I wasn't supposed to go out, but I got bored. It's not like it matters, right? Not like anyone can stop us, right?"
Dome Head switched over to English, too. "You were warned, Tony. This operation is far too important to jeopardize. Your sloppiness has proven too great a liability."
"Whoa, you can't be serious," said Ringo. "I mean, what's the big deal?"
"Hate to interrupt," I said. "But I'm not done with him. You can have him after I'm finished."
Dome Head smiled mirthlessly. "Mister Megaton, we respect all life, even artificial life. Please don't make us resort to physical violence."
Neither of these guys were much to look at. Dome Head was barely five feet tall and ninety-five pounds at the most. Harelip was significantly larger than your average human, but there was nothing to indicate I couldn't take that gun away from him and pound him into a puddle. Despite my impressive specs, I'd learned to anticipate the unexpected. These two seemed to know who I was, so there was reason to assume their threats weren't empty. I also assumed they weren't as confident as they appeared, or they would've just taken Ringo. Unfortunately, the choice wasn't mine to make. Grey's psychic reprogramming would keep me from handing over Tony Ringo. A confrontation was inevitable, and my battle analyzer came back inconclusive.
So much for the miracles of modern superscience.
Humbolt unbuttoned his coat to reveal his own heater. "If there's trouble, Mack, I got you covered."
I wasn't worried about Humbolt. He looked like he could
handle himself. But Lucia was a liability. When things went down, I couldn't protect both Ringo and her.
"There's not going to be any trouble," I said. "Everybody's going to stay cool. I think we're all smart enough to know nobody wins if things get ugly."
"Agreed," said Dome Head. "Which is why I suggest you release Mr. Ringo into our custody. This is not a negotiation, Mr. Megaton."
Harelip pulled his roscoe. He didn't aim it at anyone but held it at his side.
"I only need five more minutes."
I was buying some time. If my rendezvous showed, these jokers might reconsider their position. Of course, then I'd have a whole new bunch of guys who'd want to take Ringo from me, but one thing at a time.
Dome Head whipped out his tentacles. It was so fast, I didn't even record it on my optics. One tendril looped around my legs. The other wrapped around Ringo, but I kept my grip.
Harelip charged forward and smashed me right across the cranial unit. Hard. The guy was strong as a construction drone. With my legs bound together, I lost my balance and fell over. I didn't let go of Ringo. Nothing can make me let go of something once I've got hold of it. I'd sooner see Ringo ripped in half than release him. From Ringo's pained shrieks, I'd say Dome Head felt the same way.
Humbolt drew his pistol and got off three shots. Point blank. He couldn't miss. But Dome Head activated a personal forcefield, and the blasts dissipated before reaching him.
Harelip didn't bother pulling his gun. He turned and ripped off Humbolt's arm. The arm without the raygun. That's how indifferent he was to the blasts singeing his chest. Humbolt was a stubborn auto and kept firing for all the good it did him.
Harelip knocked the auto's head off with one punch, caved in Humbolt's chest with another. The butler auto collapsed into a twitching pile of scrap.
Dome Head kept his attention on me the whole time. He tightened the pressure.
"You cannot win, Mr. Megaton," he said. "I would think you'd possess enough logic to realize that."
I let go of Ringo, catching Dome Head by surprise. His tentacle snapped back like a rubber band, and Ringo smacked right into him. I figured Dome Head's forcefield was meant for energy blasts. I figured right. Dome Head was knocked off his feet, and the tentacle wrapped around my legs went slack.
I couldn't hope for much time from the distraction. I cranked my power levels up and ran to Dome Head. Harelip moved to intercept. I shoved my fist into his face full force. It didn't crush in his head, but it bloodied his nose and put a wobble in his knees. I unleashed a haymaker that sent him sprawling. I didn't take the time to congratulate myself but turned back on Dome Head.