Authors: Johan Theorin
When he has removed the tape it is very easy to slide a sharp knife under the flap and gently work it open. He reaches inside and removes the contents.
Rettig wasn’t lying. The envelope contains letters, nothing else. Jan counts thirty-four, in all colours and sizes. There are names on
the
front in pen or pencil, in different handwriting, all with the same address:
St Patricia’s Hospital
.
Jan slowly looks through the names, and notices that one particular name comes up several times: Ivan Rössel. Rössel the serial killer has received nine letters altogether.
There are no other names on the letters that Jan recognizes. There is nothing for Alice Rami, or Maria Blanker.
Jan rubs his eyes and thinks. If he can’t get in to see Rami, perhaps he can send a letter to her? What does he have to lose?
He has a set of stationery in one of the kitchen drawers. His mother gave it to him when he left home, with handmade envelopes and thick paper, but in ten years he has hardly ever used it.
He picks up a pen and stares at the empty sheet of paper for a few seconds, wanting to fill it with words. There is so much to say. But in the end he writes just one question: DEAR SQUIRREL – WOULD YOU LIKE TO GET OVER THE FENCE?
He signs his own first name. He considers adding his address, then realizes that Lars Rettig or one of the other care assistants will almost certainly see the envelope containing Rami’s reply. If she replies. So he writes
Jan Larsson
, and his old address in Gothenburg.
Then he places the sheet of paper in an envelope, writes
Maria Blanker, St Patricia’s Hospital
on the front, seals it and tucks it in among all the rest.
Jan has the package for the patients at St Patricia’s in his rucksack when he arrives at the Dell the following day. He will be staying on for the evening shift; he will be alone with the children for three hours, which will give him plenty of time to nip over to St Psycho’s when they have fallen asleep.
Everything seems quiet at the Dell, but when he walks into the staffroom he sees Marie-Louise sitting at the table with a strange man. He stops dead in the doorway, feeling a chill run down his spine. He suddenly remembers the events of Friday night: the unidentified visitor who emerged from the lift and walked out into the night through the pre-school.
But when he looks at the man properly he recognizes the glasses and the thick brown hair. And the mouth which rarely smiles.
‘Hello, Jan. How are you?’
Dr Högsmed has come to visit. Jan almost expects to see a collection of hats in front of him on the table, just waiting to be picked up – but there is only a half-empty coffee cup.
He quickly forces a smile and goes over to shake hands. ‘Fine thanks, Doctor.’
‘
Patrik
, Jan.’
Jan nods. Of course he will never be able to think of Högsmed as anything other than
Doctor
, but he can pretend.
Högsmed studies his face. ‘So, have you got the hang of all the routines?’
‘Absolutely,’ Jan replies. ‘I love it here.’
‘That sounds excellent.’
Jan’s smile is becoming more rigid by the moment. He thinks about the letters in his rucksack. It isn’t open, of course, but does Högsmed suspect anything? Has Lars Rettig been found out?
Eventually the doctor looks away and turns to Marie-Louise. ‘Is he behaving himself?’
Högsmed sounds unconcerned, and Marie-Louise answers emphatically, ‘Oh yes, we’re very pleased with Jan! He’s become a real favourite with the children, a real playmate.’
Jan hears the praise, but he still can’t relax. He would prefer to slip away, out of the room and away from Dr Högsmed. When Marie-Louise asks if he’d like a coffee, he quickly shakes his head. ‘Thanks, but I had one just before I came out. I get a bit shaky if I have too much,’ he says, then adds, ‘Caffeine, I mean.’
Then he goes off to join the children in the playroom. Behind him Högsmed leans over and quietly says something to Marie-Louise, but the children are shouting and laughing, making it impossible for Jan to eavesdrop.
‘Come on, Jan!’
‘Come on, we’re going to build something!’
Natalie and Matilda draw him into the game, but he finds it difficult to chat and joke as usual today. He keeps looking over
at
the door, waiting to feel a hand on his shoulder, a harsh voice asking him to come for a little chat. An interview with the security team up at the hospital.
But it doesn’t happen. When he glances into the staffroom a little while later, the table is empty. Högsmed has gone.
At last Jan can relax, or try to. He shouldn’t go across to deliver the letters this evening – what if Dr Högsmed calls in again? But he doesn’t want them sitting in his locker either.
The time passes slowly but at last it’s evening. Most of the children are picked up, the staff go home. Jan warms up a stew with dill and potatoes for the three children who are left, then he reads them a story and eventually manages to get them to sleep.
By this stage it is quarter to nine. Rettig told him to go up to the hospital later than this, but Jan is too impatient. He has just about an hour before Andreas arrives to take over; that’s plenty of time.
He waits for a little while, checks on the sleeping children one last time, then heads down into the basement with the Angel attached to his belt and the envelope hidden underneath his jumper.
Quickly, a postman has to work quickly.
The lift is waiting for him. He takes a deep breath and travels up to the visitors’ room. Everything is quiet; it is deserted and in darkness. Jan quickly makes his way over to the sofa, lifts up the cushion and stops – there is already an envelope lying there. But it isn’t the one he left a few days ago. This one is larger and thicker, and there are five words scrawled on the front: OPEN THIS AND POST CONTENTS!
A reply from St Psycho’s. Jan stares at the envelope. Then he grabs it, tucks it under his jumper and puts the big yellow envelope in its place.
When Jan gets back to the Dell, everything is still perfectly quiet. Thirty minutes later the outside door opens. Jan gives a start, but it is only Andreas, cheerful and calm as usual. Andreas is a steady character, apparently with no worries in his life. ‘Hi, Jan. Everything OK?’
‘Everything’s fine. All our little friends are fast asleep.’
Jan smiles and puts on his jacket, then opens up his locker and takes out his rucksack, where he has hidden the new envelope. He is full of anticipation; it almost feels like Christmas Eve.
‘Good luck, Andreas. See you tomorrow.’
When Jan gets home he is still thinking about Dr Högsmed. He locks the door behind him and pulls down the kitchen blinds. Then he takes out the envelope and opens it.
Forty-seven letters come tumbling out – almost a full deck of cards of large and small letters, all neatly stamped and addressed to various people in Sweden, apart from two. One is destined for Hamburg, and one is going all the way to Bahia in Brazil. There is no sender’s name on any of them.
Jan is fascinated; he lays out the letters in front of him like a game of solitaire. He moves them around on the kitchen table, studying the handwriting; some of it is very controlled and deliberate, some spiky and scrawled. Eventually he gathers them all up.
He is in charge of them now. He could throw them away.
When he is lying in bed an hour later, he wonders which patients have written all those letters. Ivan Rössel, perhaps. He got a lot of letters last time; does he reply to those who write to him?
And has Rami written to anyone? At least there is a letter from him up in the visitors’ room, waiting for her …
Jan falls asleep and is quickly back in the same warm dream he had before. He remembers it clearly now: he is with Alice Rami. She and Jan are living together out in the country, on a farm with no fences of any kind. They are striding along a meandering gravel track, free and unafraid, with all of life’s mistakes far behind them. Rami has a large brown dog on a lead. A St Bernard, or a Rottweiler. It is a guard dog, of course, but it’s a nice dog, and Rami is totally in control of it.
Lynx
Sigrid walked into Lynx at twenty past four; Jan saw her out of the corner of his eye. They had been back from the forest for over half an hour by that stage, and the nursery was just in the process of closing.
Everything had gone well on the way home – apart from the fact that there had been sixteen children in the group instead of seventeen. But Jan hadn’t mentioned it, and neither Sigrid nor any of the children had noticed that William was missing.
Personally, he could hardly think of anything else.
A short while ago he had taken a break, an apparently completely normal break to which he was entitled. He had popped out of the nursery for ten minutes and walked to the nearest postbox. It was three blocks away from Lynx, and on the way there he stopped in a dark doorway and took out William’s hat.
The previous evening he had prepared a stamped addressed envelope. He pushed the hat inside, sealed the envelope and dropped it in the postbox. Then he quickly walked back to work.
When Sigrid arrived at the nursery Jan was standing in the cloakroom chatting to a woman whose name he couldn’t remember at that particular moment – but she was Max Karlsson’s mother, and she had come to pick him up.
Sigrid came over and interrupted the conversation, her voice low and anxious. ‘Sorry, Jan … could I have a quick word?’
‘Of course, what is it?’
She drew him slightly to one side. ‘Have you got any extra children here?’
He looked at her, pretending to be surprised. ‘No, we’ve only got four left; the rest have already been collected. Why do you ask?’
Sigrid looked around the cloakroom. ‘It’s William, little William Halevi … His dad is waiting over at Brown Bear, he’s come to pick William up … but he’s not there.’
‘Not there?’
She shook her head. ‘Is it OK if I just have a look around here, in the other rooms?’
‘Of course.’
Jan nodded and Sigrid went into the nursery. Meanwhile Jan opened the door for Max and his mother and waved them off.
Three minutes later, Sigrid was back, biting her lip and looking even more worried. ‘I don’t know where he is …’ She ran a hand over her spiky hair. ‘I don’t remember if William was with us when we left the forest … I mean, he was definitely there on the way up, I remember that, but I don’t know if … I’m not sure if he was with us on the way back. Do you remember?’
Jan furrowed his brow, as if thinking deeply. He had a vivid mental picture of William running along the ravine, but he answered quietly, ‘Sorry … I wasn’t really keeping a tally of the children from Brown Bear.’
Sigrid didn’t say anything. They looked at one another and she rubbed her face, as if she was trying to wake up. ‘I’d better get back to his dad. But I think … I think we’re going to have to call the police.’
‘OK,’ said Jan. He felt a hard icicle drop down somewhere between his lungs, spreading its chill right through his belly.
We’re going to have to call the police
.
It had begun. And Jan was no longer in control.
25
LIKE A CRIMINAL,
a spy or a secret courier, Jan is careful not to run any risks with the letters from St Psycho’s. He takes a long detour on his journey to work the next morning and quickly stuffs the whole lot in a postbox on a deserted street.
Good luck
. Forty-seven letters from patients, on their way out into the world.
Frost and patches of ice are starting to appear on the roads now; he will have to stop cycling soon if he wants to avoid skidding. It’s lethal.
Small feet come racing up to him in the cloakroom when he arrives at the Dell. It’s Matilda, and her eyes are shining. ‘The police are here!’
She’s joking, of course.
‘Oh yes?’ Jan says calmly, unbuttoning his jacket. ‘And what do they want? Have they come to have a glass of squash with us?’
Matilda looks confused until he winks at her. Pre-school children can say just about anything; they find it difficult to distinguish between what is true and false, between reality and fantasy.
But the police actually
are
there. Not at the pre-school, but at the hospital. When Jan looks out of the kitchen window a quarter of an hour later, he sees a police car parked over by the entrance, with two uniformed officers walking along the inside of the perimeter fence. Their eyes are fixed on the damp ground, as if they are looking for something.
Only then does Jan feel a small beat of anxiety in the back of his
mind.
This always happens when he sees police officers, ever since what happened at Lynx.
Marie-Louise comes into the kitchen.
‘What are the police doing here?’ Jan asks.
‘I don’t know … something seems to have happened up at the hospital.’
She doesn’t sound concerned, but Jan presses her. ‘Has someone escaped?’
‘I shouldn’t think so,’ says Marie-Louise. ‘But I’m sure we’ll find out tomorrow when the report comes out.’
She is referring to Dr Högsmed’s weekly report. It comes through to the computer in the pre-school and Marie-Louise prints it out, but so far it has made very dull reading.
Jan waits, but there is no peremptory knock on the door of the pre-school. The next time he looks out of the window the police car has gone.
He starts to relax and forgets the visit, until it is almost ten o’clock and time for Felix to be escorted to the visitors’ room. Marie-Louise comes over to him in the playroom and says quietly, ‘No visits today, Jan – they’ve been postponed.’
‘Oh?’ Jan automatically lowers his voice as well. ‘Why’s that?’
‘There’s been a death up at the hospital.’
‘A death?’
Marie-Louise nods, and whispers, ‘A patient died last night.’
‘But how?’
‘I don’t know … but it was obviously unexpected.’
Jan doesn’t ask any more questions; he carries on playing with the children. Tag and hide-and-seek. But his mind is elsewhere. He keeps on thinking about the letters he left in the visitors’ room last night. Love letters, but perhaps threatening letters as well.