The Arrangement (22 page)

“I … well, is it like the safe house?”

It wasn’t. The home in Oceana had a great deal less in the safety feature department because it was his personal residence. Anton tried to keep as many weapons out of the home as possible, though there were a few handguns hidden in choice spots just in case. Little to no Bratva business was done inside or around the property, as all the phones were constantly tapped by the feds, and a federal car was usually close by monitoring his private activities.

“No, not really. That’s why we’ve stayed elsewhere for so long, because it’s safer for the bulls to keep an eye on you there while I’m working away from the safe house.”

“No, I meant business-wise, Anton.”

“
Oh
,” he drawled softly. “No way. Nothing in this house is off limits to you, not a single thing. There is a safe in the basement and one in my office that really don’t concern you, but you’ll have access to them if you want. None of my associates other than Erik and Ivan will make an appearance here. On a private scale, this is, in every way that counts, our home. The business will not intrude here, and I have kept it that way for as long as I can remember. That’s why there are other places, like the safe house, where certain precautions are already in place for other …
things
.”

Her brown eyes lifted to meet his as she asked, “Promise?”

“Yeah, of course.” Then Anton felt the need to explain a little more, wanting her to understand just how much of a distance he kept between his home and outside life. “Also, no one else was invited here, Viviana. I didn’t share this space with anyone other than family and close friends.”

The befuddled look had him sighing. “Women,” he stressed. “I did not bring a woman to this home. Ever.”

“No?”

“Not one.”

In fact, he never took another woman beyond wherever it was she caught his eye, honestly. The backseat of a car, in a dirty alleyway, or the hidden hallway of a club. No, Anton was quite clear with all of those women about just what he wanted or needed from them, and it wasn’t to invite them back to his home to spend the night. He simply assumed if he didn’t give them any impression that he was searching for more, they wouldn’t come knocking. So far none had, and he was grateful.

Viviana Carducci had been the first and only woman to sleep in his bed; she would be the last, too. None could ever look quite so good under his sheets with her head resting on his arm and her eyes closed, so he wasn’t going to try and replace that feeling with someone who wasn’t her.

The faint scent of her perfume had all but coated his car and lungs with its floral smell, overtaking him in the best way. That pink stain on her lips popped with the same color that naturally rose to her cheeks when she was happy, loved, or sad. Sometimes, it was the small things with her that caught him up in emotions he wasn’t used to experiencing. Without thinking anymore about it, Anton leaned over the console of his Mercedes, cupping her jaw in his grasp and pulling Viviana in close to his face so lips grazed over hers as he spoke in low, hushed tones.

“I love you and you love me, yes?” An almost dazed nod had him smiling. “That’s all that matters, then. I’ve been dying to see how you’d look walking through our home. That little dress you’ve got on, that ring on your finger, and those shoes are going to be the death of me if I don’t get you out of this car so I can think and breathe for a moment, so let’s go.”

“All right, you insatiable man. Let’s go.”

• • •

“So, what do you think?”

Viviana jumped in fright, not having realized Anton returned from the master bedroom’s attached bath. Turning away from the large window where she was looking down on the quiet, fenced backyard, she offered him a fake scowl for scaring her. Anton only grinned teasingly in response.

Basically, he left her alone to search out the basement, ground, and upper floors while he went to change his shirt. And explore she had. There was no doubt about it; she absolutely loved the home.

Fresh, white walls in every direction with high ceilings and bright lighting, it felt open and clean. Where the safe house was equipped with barely any personal touches on the walls, this home held artwork, family photos, and mementos of years gone by everywhere she looked. Instead of high priced, modern furniture that suited a group or gathering, the rooms were filled with comfortable pieces that fit the house and person inside it.

Spacious enough, but not ostentatious.

Relaxed, but not lazy.

Professional where it needed to be, sweet where she would want it to be, and homey in all the spots in between, Viviana was struck speechless. It felt like …
home
. It had been so damned long since she felt that. Despite not having been directly in his life when the property was purchased, she had to wonder if she had somehow been considered in its choosing, too.

And then there was the matter of what she had been learning about her future husband during her travels through the home. Anton liked baseball, and she’d come to find out he played his first three years in high school. He had a propensity to collect knickknacks, take candid photos, and there were at least three stashes of candy she’d found so far. The basement was fully furnished, equipped with an at home gym in one area, and what Viviana would consider a man cave in another. Several entertainment systems, a flat screen TV, and a massive DVD collection told her it was likely one of his favorite spots in the house.

“Hey, the house?” Anton asked again, taking a step forward as his mouth curved with a gentle smile. Viviana turned back to look out the window again. “You’ve got me nervous over here, baby. I’m not used to feeling that way.”

“Well …”

“Well?”

“What did you mean when you said you wanted to buy it, but then Nicoli gave it to you?”

“I was starting to look for a house … was just made a brigadier. Looked for months because I wanted it to be perfect, you know?”

“Yeah, and it kind of seems like it is.”

“It is. But, when I finally found a house—this one—the owners refused to sell to me.”

“What?”

Viviana turned on her heel, staring at the man leaning in the small entranceway of the master bedroom that had her all worked up into an emotional mess. The tiny cubby that looked like it may have once been a second walk-in closet had drawn her attention immediately when she entered the room, considering there was nothing in it but sheer curtains covering the window and two white leather chairs.

That certainly wasn’t what that room should have been used for with its miniature vaulted ceilings, natural light, and quiet setting compared to the rest of the house. While the room had its own attached bath and a decent sized walk-in closet, Viviana knew exactly what the small, comfortable, intimate cubby inside the master bedroom was meant for.

“They wouldn’t sell to
you
, specifically? Why?”

“Nope. Told the realtor there was no way they would sell their house to a gangster.” Anton scoffed, rolling his eyes upwards. “Didn’t matter when I offered two hundred thousand above their asking price and then doubled that again. Just no—real fucking simple. I was outright devastated about it. You were just turning eighteen, your father was getting ready to make the arrangement between our two families public, and I wanted you with me so badly by then.”

“How did Nicoli get it, then?”

“The bastard planned it,” Anton said, laughing. “Made me find the house I wanted, paid off the realtor and the owners to keep their mouths shut, and then bought it for me as a birthday gift. I was pissed off like nothing else, but he just sat there and smiled as he handed the keys over. Made his year.”

“I really like this house.”

The smile that lit up his face had her heart skipping beats. “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” she admitted, shrugging a single shoulder. “I don’t know. I guess it feels like home. Ours, really, even if I haven’t been living in it. I didn’t expect that and it scared me for a second.”

Anton’s teeth bit into his lower lip as his fists hid in pockets. It was an action she now recognized as him being nervous. “Why? Shouldn’t that be a good thing?”

Viviana didn’t know how to respond, instead avoiding his gaze and fingering the sheer curtain’s fabric between her forefinger and thumb. There were so many things about the house that reminded her of the home she grew up in, and a million and one other things that screamed it was entirely different. Soft blankets on a California king sized bed that brought back heady, hot memories of similar bedding in a Barbados beach house.

Ready, that’s what it was. Ready and waiting for her to simply make herself at home, and Viviana didn’t even have to do a thing. She couldn’t bring herself to understand how it could feel that way; how Anton knew her so well. Knew that she wouldn’t want something so massive it needed maids to clean it; knew that windows needed to be opposite to the beds so morning light would touch the sheets; knew …

Knew that she would want a tiny cubby in her bedroom just waiting for a baby’s crib to be placed inside
.

He couldn’t possibly have known those things, but instead wanted them, too.

So, maybe it had scared her for a moment. Because how else could someone react when their life, wants, and thoughts were being reflected in someone who could only know what they’d learned in one short week nine long years before? Finding her soul mate had been a scary thing when she was only sixteen, but finding him all over again when she was almost twenty-five and not expecting it was heart-stopping.

Viviana breathed through her nose, blinking at the hardwood floor.
Speak
, her mind ordered.
Say something
.

“I like this … cubby, too.”

Anton hummed a sound, staking a step forward into the room. “It was a second walk-in closet, but the room had more than enough storage space. It’s nice to just relax or whatever, especially in the morning.”

Something stuck in her throat. Words, likely, and overwhelming feelings.

“You didn’t put it in for that, though, did you?”

“No, I didn’t,” he admitted, staring straight at her and seeming wholly unashamed. “And I hope it doesn’t have you frightened.”

Suddenly, Viviana was rambling, words spilling from her heart and mind. They wanted to get out; had to be said. Fought their way from her chest to tumble straight out trembling lips. Anton needed to hear them, she knew.

“I asked earlier about the business in the house because my father didn’t keep it out, like at all. The garage was off-limits, his office, the library, and fuck, once we couldn’t touch the freezer in the storage for a month and a half. I don’t … damn it, Anton, I don’t ever want that for my children. And what’s worse is that I never wanted children because of this,” she muttered, waving between their bodies.

“I don’t understand.”

“You and me before we were … you and me. I just thought of it as an arrangement—a duty. I knew I wouldn’t get the choice. My husband would want children, so I’d have to do that, but that didn’t mean I wanted them, okay? Why would I want my children being woken up to someone’s screams, or God forbid, finding
teeth
in the fucking driveway while they rode bikes? Roman was a great father, but he was Boss first. He was the
Don
. I loved my dad, loved him so much …”

“I know you did,” he whispered. Viviana hadn’t realized how close he’d come to her until his hands were rubbing her shaking shoulders then cupping either side of her face. “Don’t cry, baby. Not today, Viviana, please. Not in this room, not with me.”

Always so soft and caring with her when she needed it most, it was just another striking contradiction to the man she thought he could have been.

“I didn’t want children, Anton.”

“I told you I wasn’t expect—”

“I know what you told me,” she interrupted, a little too sharply if his wince was any indication. “And I said
didn’t
.”

Air cut through his teeth like a hiss. “Oh.”

The heavy weight of what she confessed hung in the air and Viviana could only stay silent and let him absorb it. Children had been one thing, but the possibility of children with him had turned into something else entirely. Something so passionate and terrifying that it hurt her lungs when she breathed and made her heart kick-start all over again. A little voice said it wouldn’t be the same as her life had been growing up, while another had a dozen and one reminders of just how it could be exactly that.

And it didn’t even matter because standing in that almost bare cubby and thinking about what could be there felt so much better. Thinking about the three other bedrooms on the second floor that needed to be filled was scarily stirring. Her birth control shot would stop the moment Anton asked her to, and she knew it. There wasn’t any question in her mind now, but fuck, it still ached.

Outside of the walls they called home, the two of them could be whomever they wanted or needed to be, but inside … inside was a different story altogether.

“If you want children someday, you have to understand what that means for us. Please don’t do that to our children, okay?
Please
, Anton. Don’t be that man first and their father second. If you give us a home, you need to make it one, too.”

Anton cleared his throat before he murmured with a husky tone, “Okay, Vine.”

• • •

There was a brief period where Anton simply didn’t know what to say or do; he was still so damned wrapped up in the realization that Viviana wanted children. And not just children, no,
his
children. Sure, the thought has crossed his mind; he’d be flat out lying if he said it didn’t, but he hadn’t expected her to convey it the way she did, either.

Now that she’d brought up the topic, his mind was running rampant. Viviana wasn’t the only one who had things to share. Especially on that front.

“This little room brought on all that, huh?”

“Yep.”

Anton nodded, his hands still cradling Viviana’s face as he said, “I’m not him, your dad, I mean. That’s not to say he was doing wrong, either. By his …
family
… that’s just how they roll. Sometimes things can’t be helped and shit gets brought home when you don’t intend for it to. Us—the bosses—we have to clean up after a lot of stuff that I can’t even begin to explain, nor do I think you really need to know. But it happens; we manage, deal with it, move on …”