MacLean screwed his eyes tight shut and said, ‘They’ve taken her to a serious burns unit Tansy.’
‘Oh my God! … Oh God no! Not her face!’
MacLean heard a hysterical note creep into Tansy’s voice. The distance between them was like iron bars. It would have been so much better to be able to hold and comfort her. ‘It’s early days yet,’ he said. ‘It’ll take a couple of weeks to assess the damage properly.’
‘You must know!’ accused Tansy. ‘You saw her when you brought her out of the fire.’
‘It was dark and she was covered in soot. I couldn’t really tell,’ said MacLean.
Tansy calmed down and MacLean did his best to reassure her in spite of his own misgivings. He gave her his address and asked her to come there as soon as she was discharged from the hospital. He would warn the landlord that his wife would be joining him this weekend.
In the event Tansy arrived at ten-thirty next morning. There was an awkward moment when she and MacLean faced each other in the hallway for the first time since the fire but it passed when MacLean took her into his arms and they held each other tightly. The tears ran freely down Tansy’s face. ‘When they told me you were dead I just wanted to die myself,’ she whispered.
MacLean wiped away her tears and started to lead her upstairs with his arm round her shoulders. He noticed his landlord had his door ajar and was watching them. ‘Don’t see each other much then?’ he asked.
MacLean pretended he hadn’t heard.
Tansy asked the questions and MacLean filled in the blanks in her memory.
‘So Vernay told them where we stayed?’ said Tansy.
‘They tortured him,’ said MacLean, remembering the awful scene in Vernay’s apartment.
Tansy shook her head and said in exasperation, ‘It was all going so well. We were so happy, the three of us together and now …’ Her expression changed to one of deep sorrow. She asked sadly, ‘Do you think we’ll ever be able to get it back, Sean?’
‘If we want it enough,’ said MacLean softly. ‘We can do it.’
His words seemed to give Tansy strength. She started thinking positively. ‘We could rebuild the bungalow with the insurance money,’ she said and then almost immediately realised why that was not a good idea. ‘No,’ she said distantly, ‘It would have to be somewhere else. No matter, as long as the three of us are together.’
The mention of the three of them brought Carrie into the conversation again. Tansy started to probe MacLean about Carrie’s chances of a complete recovery. She asked how long the treatment would take. Would there be much pain? Would she miss much schooling? MacLean fended off the questions saying that there was no way he could answer them without seeing Carrie.
‘I’m being allowed to see her next Wednesday,’ said Tansy. ‘Will you come?’
‘Of course,’ said MacLean.
MacLean and Tansy spent the weekend together and separated on Monday morning. The fire at the bungalow had caused many of Tansy’s former friends to ‘rally round’ as they put it. She had told them that she was being discharged from hospital on Monday morning rather than the previous Friday so that she could steal the weekend with MacLean but, on Monday morning, she dutifully appeared on the hospital steps to be picked up by Nigel and Marjorie, friends from what seemed like a hundred years ago when she and Keith had been members of a local tennis club.
In the event, Nigel turned up on his own. He had taken the morning off work - he was a solicitor - to mount a grand stage production of ‘The Good Samaritan’. He leapt from the car to put an arm round Tansy. ‘What can I say Darling?’
Tansy was helped into the front of the car as if she had lost the ability to walk and Nigel kept up a constant stream of sympathy and mock anguish all the way home. Tansy dutifully said at intervals, ‘This really is most kind of you Nigel but she was on the verge of asking him to stop the car so that she could get out and run away.
Marjorie appeared at the door of the house and swept over Tansy like an incoming tide, repeating much of what her husband had said in the car. ‘Our house is your house, you know that my dear. And poor Carrie, you must be so worried about her. Out of your mind probably and who can blame you? You mustn’t worry about the insurance though, Nigel will deal with all that won’t you Nigel?’
Nigel agreed that he would.
Tansy noticed that at no time in the conversation was Dan Morrison’s name mentioned. Her ‘bit of rough’ had died in the flames as far as Nigel and Marjorie were concerned, something not even worth acknowledging. A social embarrassment had been cleared up for them and now Tansy would return to the fold. She’d soon be back at dinner parties and there were lots of eligible chaps to be asked along. Tansy knew that she should be grateful to her former friends for the trouble they had gone to but at that moment she hated them.
On Wednesday, Tansy drove out to Carrie’s hospital in Marjorie’s Mini which she insisted she borrow. MacLean took the bus and met her at the foot of the drive. Neither said very much as they walked up the long gravel path. Tansy knew that they were going to remove the dressings from Carrie’s face. MacLean surmised as much.
The spring sun was warm on their faces and there was a smell of blossom in the air. Tansy felt twinges of panic. She started to hope that they would never reach the entrance. She even invented a reason for delaying by stopping beside a bush and saying, ‘What a gorgeous scent.’
MacLean nodded and said, ‘spring is really here.’ He put his arm round Tansy’s shoulders knowing what she was going through.
They did not have long to wait before being shown into a small office where a bald man wearing a white coat sat behind a desk. Half framed spectacles sat on his nose and he was finishing some writing. The nurse closed the door behind them and the doctor looked up. ‘Ah, Mrs Nielsen,’ he said. He turned to look at MacLean. ‘And?’
‘I’m Carrie’s uncle,’ said MacLean.
‘Ah yes, Mr Nielsen being deceased.’
‘I’m Doctor Coulson, Carol’s consultant. Please take a seat.’
Tansy smiled deferentially. MacLean remained impassive.
‘Let me tell you what is going to happen. Carol has been sedated to permit painless removal of her dressings. The nurses are preparing her at the moment but I have to warn you that, from our preliminary findings, it seems certain that Carol will require a degree of remedial surgery.’
A lump grew in MacLean’s throat.
‘What about her eyes Doctor?’ asked Tansy.
‘Her eyes are undamaged; she can see perfectly well.
Tansy looked at MacLean and he gave her a reassuring smile. It was a time for clutching at straws.
The nurse who had shown them in earlier came into the room and said that everything was ready.
‘Good,’ said Coulson. ‘First, perhaps I should warn you … ‘
Tansy had started to get up from her chair; she sank back down again.
‘You may find this distressing. Skin burns can be … unpleasant.’
Tansy had gone rigid. Her knuckles were showing white as she listened to Coulson, her eyes filled with trepidation. MacLean reached over and put his hand on hers.
‘I’m ready,’ said Tansy, her voice almost a croak.
Coulson said, ‘Carol is heavily sedated. There is no need to put on a brave face for her sake.’
Coulson led the way along a long corridor with glass on one side, which allowed them to look out at lawns in the sunshine.
‘First we go in here.’
They entered a room where two nurses took their outdoor clothes and helped them into surgical gowns and masks. MacLean wished that there could have been more contact with the nurses for Tansy’s sake. She needed womanly comradeship.
‘Carol’s in here,’ said Coulson opening an adjoining door and leading them into a small side-ward with half-closed Venetian blinds. Carrie was a small bundle on the bed, swathed in white bandage and flanked by two nurses who were arranging an instrument tray. MacLean’s heart went out to her. She seemed so small and vulnerable. He nudged Tansy to move along a bit, pretending that he needed more room but he was really trying to ensure that she saw more of Carrie’s good right side.
The nurses went to work with scissors. Periodically they would stop and apply saline soaked swabs to deal with any stickiness in the dressings. MacLean looked at Tansy out of the corner of his eye and saw that her eyes were like saucers above her mask. He tried to take her hand but she drew away.
The preparatory work was done. Coulson took over and started to unwind strand after strand of gauze. He dropped them silently into a steel dish. There was now nothing left to remove save for the two dressing pads. Coulson removed the right one and MacLean felt emotion well up in him at the first sight of the familiar little face. He saw Tansy’s eyes start to moisten.
Coulson had more trouble with the other pad. It was sticking. It took several applications of saline before it was freed and he lifted it clear. The left side of Carrie’s face was in partial shadow but MacLean could see the damage. It was horrific. The tissue from just under her left eye to well below her jawline had been utterly destroyed. As he had feared, Carrie’s mouth had been badly affected. She would probably not be able to speak.
Tansy was transfixed with horror. Coulson started to say something but she turned on her heel and flew out the door.
‘Nurse!’ said Coulson.
‘I’ll go,’ said MacLean.
Tansy was running blindly back along the corridor; she sent two nurses spinning. MacLean saw her burst out of the door at the end of the corridor. He followed and found her clinging to a cherry blossom tree in full bloom. She had both hands on the trunk but she was not weeping or making any sound at all. MacLean moved up slowly behind her and placed his hands gently on her shoulders
Tansy spun round on him like a gun turret. ‘You did that!’ she hissed. ‘You did that to Carrie! It’s your fault!’
The words tore through MacLean. He offered no defence. What Tansy said was true. She was now hysterical. She thumped her fists on MacLean’s chest while he stood there with tears running down his face while the sun filtered through the blossom above him.
Quite suddenly, Tansy’s blind anger was spent. She collapsed in floods of tears on to MacLean’s chest, begging him to forgive her. He held her close and ran his fingers through her hair telling her there was nothing to forgive. He knew well enough that what she’d said was true and said so.
‘No, no, no,’ cried Tansy. ‘I asked you to stay. I practically begged you to stay.’
The nurses had now caught up with them and were coming across the lawn. MacLean signalled with his hand that they should stay back. He wrapped his arm round Tansy’s shoulder and led her further away from the building so that they were completely alone.
‘I didn’t know what I was saying,’ sobbed Tansy. ‘When I saw Carrie’s face … ‘
‘I know,’ soothed MacLean. ‘I know.’
‘Oh Sean, what are we going to do?’ asked Tansy. She looked up at MacLean with eyes filled with pain and hopelessness.
‘I am going to make you a promise,’ said MacLean.
Tansy’s eyes asked the question.
‘I am going to give you Carrie back just the way she was. I can do it but I will need your help.’
Tansy’s eyes grew wide and confused. ‘I don’t understand,’ she said. ‘You saw her face, her mouth … ‘
‘I can repair the damage with Cytogerm,’ said MacLean.
‘But that’s all in the past,’ said Tansy.
‘I’ll get some,’ said MacLean.
The first flicker of hope appeared in Tansy’s eyes but she said, ‘Even if you could, Carrie’s face is so bad … ‘
‘I’ve seen worse. I can do it.’
‘But how will you get it?’
‘I’m going back to Geneva. I’m going to steal it from Lehman Steiner.’
‘You’re crazy!’ exclaimed Tansy. ‘They’ll kill you!’
‘They think I’m dead,’ said MacLean. ‘And even if they didn’t they wouldn’t think of looking for me right on their own doorstep.’
‘But how d’you know that it still exists?’
‘I don’t,’ admitted MacLean. ‘That’s one of three gambles we must take.’
‘Three?’
‘First we have to presume that Lehman Steiner will still have supplies of Cytogerm; second we have to gamble that Carrie will have no dormant cancer cells in her body at the time of surgery and thirdly, this venture may cost a lot of money.’
‘
I’ll have the insurance settlement on the bungalow.’
‘
We may need that.’
Tansy sobbed. ‘Every penny, every last penny.’
NINE
Tansy and MacLean rejoined Coulson in his office where Tansy apologised for her outburst.
‘I was afraid your daughter’s appearance would be quite a shock to you,’ said Coulson, gathering the papers in front of him and opening his desk drawer. ‘But it’s amazing what we can do these days.’