The Alignment (31 page)

Mamó shifts forward in her chair. Tara hops up to help her, and they walk arm in arm up the stairs.

Trey stands and feels for his gun. “I need to take a walk. Clear my head. Magazine?” He extends his open hand.

I twist, exposing my pocket to him. He’s cooled off enough to have it back. Subconsciously, I knew to take it from him before but now I know why. Those people made him like this. Whether it was their intent or a consequence of growing up in a house of people who hate him, he’s developed some kind of blind craze. A mechanical reaction. A defense that shifts to offense, aimed at whomever is unlucky enough to be in his way. It was training. It was abuse. And it’s hard for me to blame him. He loses his humanity in that moment because he’s conditioned to. They stripped it from him.

He zips up his jacket and walks to the doorway. “Come with me?”

“Sure you don’t want to go alone?”

He nods toward the door just as Tara comes back down the stairs. “You’re not leaving?”

“Just for a walk.”

“Let me get you a key so you can let yourselves back in.” She returns with a key and asks if I want to borrow a heavier jacket.

Trey opens the door. “I’ll bring in our bags.”

Tara walks me to the coat closet and hands me a fleece-lined jacket and a pair of gloves. As I’m putting them on, she says, “Even though we already knew each other, I’m so glad to have met you again, in this new way.”

There’s a soft sincerity to her voice that touches me deeply. It’s almost as if I can feel her decades spent without her brother. And without her mother. I can easily empathize with that. I know it all too well.

“I’m glad to have met you again, too.” It seems like an understatement, but I don’t have anything better.

“Promise me when you leave, you and Trey will keep in touch.”

“Absolutely.”

“I’ll probably be asleep when you get back. Your room is the one at the end of the hall upstairs. I’ll leave a nightlight on. Help yourself to anything.”

“Thanks, Tara. I’ll see you in the morning.”

Trey comes in lugging our bags and takes them in the living room. He puts a flannel shirt on under his jacket and pulls on a sock hat.

Tara was right to bundle me up. Night brought the cold with it, and I had forgotten about this wind. Memories of my old life in this city flood my mind, and instead of blocking them, I allow them. With the vision of my new path in front of me, leading me toward a new life, the sadness and the torment have been tamed. One part of my past can no longer threaten me. It holds no power over me anymore.

I find Trey’s hand, and we walk in the crisp air under the streetlights, each immersed in our own thoughts, yet blissfully united, as one.

Chapter 37

Trey

A
fter about ten
minutes of walking in silence, I feel the urge to speak. “Do you miss it here?”

She looks up at me as if she expected me to say something else. “No. I feel like I’ve moved on from this. It almost seems like a different life. Like something foreign.”

Two cars blow by, yet it’s hardly a distraction due to the rest of the background noise of the city. Activity swarms around us even at this late hour. Main Street in Black River would be a ghost town at this time of night.

“Did you miss Virginia when you first moved away?” she asks.

A plastic bag crinkles above us, trapped in the branch of a honey locust. Two men come out of a house nearby and light cigarettes. The German Shepherd behind the fence between the houses watches us, but has decided not to bark. I tug my sock hat tighter on my head and put my hood up.

“I had a lot on my mind then. I really don’t remember.” I try to take myself back to that time but all I find are bits and pieces of memories, nothing substantial. Christian visited a lot, but so did their men. The visits from their men offered a perfect outlet for the rage that couldn’t be dulled by any chemical I consumed. The violence never seemed to quench it either.

Kate’s and Aaron’s murders were still so new to me. I was out of control. I didn’t see it then, but I see it now. If any of their men got through my guard in the slightest way, I’d lose any shred of cool I had. It was Phoenix where one of them broke my arm. Was I drunk? Probably. But hell, I couldn’t let it go. It wasn’t until I was boarding the plane to return to Virginia for another killing spree that I thought of my mother and reconsidered. I thought she wanted to be one of them. I was afraid that hurting them would hurt her. I thought she chose to be part of their family.

Tara told me that in a way, she does choose to stay with them. That she decided herself to marry Martin Moore because she loved him, and still does. It’s beyond my level of understanding how my mother could love one of them now that I know exactly what they are.

And Tara tried to compare it to how I feel about Christian, but it isn’t the same at all. Christian was raised by my mother. He may be Moore by blood, but he is Bevan by nature. And for most of his life, the Bevan side of him was dominant. I’m not sure what they’ve done to him to change him, but my worst fear is it didn’t take much.

“Are you cold?” I ask her.

“Not at all. We can keep going if you want.”

We stop at a street corner and wait to cross.

“My mother and Tara, they keep in contact with each other through their dreams.” I have so much to tell her about my conversation with Tara that this detail is almost insignificant. But it’s the first thing that comes out.

“They can do that?”

“Tara told me she reaches out with her mind every night to try to find me. Guess I’m a dud.”

“She’s found you now. In real life.” She smiles, visibly happy for me and Tara. “You are going to stay in touch with her, right?”

I laugh. “I don’t think I have a choice.”

“I think you’re right. She’s so much like you it’s scary. When she first opened the door, and the two of you were glaring at each other—”

“She said my mother may not ever want to leave. Can you believe that?” I drop her hand.

“She seemed happy enough.” She slides her hand back into mine.

“We should move,” I say, aware of myself jumping from subject to subject.

“Move? Why?”

“Maybe we could throw them off long enough for the baby to be born.” It comes out in a rush. I use her silence to go over places in my head where we could move. “We could move here.”

“No,” she blurts, looking away. “I don’t want to live here.”

“Farther west? Southwest?”

“But I just moved. I don’t want to move again.” Her voice cracks on the last word, like she can barely get the words out.

“When we did the mind share, and I first came into your mind, what were you thinking about?”

She takes a moment to respond. “What did you see?”

“You were in a small city park. It had to be here.”

“Yes,” she answers abruptly as if she just remembered. “It was a memory. I used to go to that park with Chase every day after work.”

“Chase?” If that’s his name, he definitely deserves an ass beating. And with a name like that he’ll be even easier to find. I didn’t think she’d give it up so easily.

She laughs. “My dog. That’s when I was single. Chase died right after I got married.”

“What are you going to tell Shawn?”

She exhales hard. “Your stream of consciousness is unreal. What do you want me to tell him?”

“Tell him to meet me in the parking lot. And I’ll tell him.”

“Please. You’re not impressing me.”

“I’m not trying to. I don’t need to anymore.” I shoot her a playful smile.

“So, should I tell him that we are…” She watches a few cars streak by.

“Together.”

“Okay.” She nods once.

“And that we’d have a shotgun wedding, but we can’t, because we’re both married to other people.”

“Okay.” She keeps a straight face. Then she gives up and laughs. “I know, it really shouldn’t be funny. It’s just the way you said it.”

Police sirens howl in the distance, bringing me back to serious matters. “Tara’s going to talk to our mother tonight, to see how much damage I did on my way out the other day.” My words hover in the air. She defuses them with one curative look, and I stop walking and turn her to face me. She needs to understand.

“Things probably would’ve been fine if I had just left with you that day. But as it stands now, I’ve probably pissed them off even worse. They’ll get back at me. They’re going to bring some force this time.” Her pull on me takes hold and I forget what I was saying. “I told you, I’m not holding back anymore. So if you keep doing that—”

“Doing what? I’m not doing anything!” She appears to want to say more but two people just rounded the corner and she’s waiting for them to pass behind her. Once they’re out of earshot, she says, “We really have no reason to hold back anymore. You already ruined it.”

I lean toward her lips, trying to remain aware of our public location. If I’m distracted like this we’re open to ambush. She tastes impossibly good, and my body aches for more of her on me, against me. She slides her hands underneath my jacket and I grab her elbows, holding her arms.

“Let’s go back.” I use all my power to pull away.

“Mmm-hmm.” She leans in for more.

I stand fully so she can’t reach. She opens her eyes. “To be continued?”

I am physically unable to answer her. It takes all my effort to turn us around, to walk forward, to ignore the part of my mind planning what I’m going to do to her. She hugs my arm with her other hand, holding on to me while we walk. A gibbous moon has risen, the only visible object in a night sky that’s competing with city lights.

“Do you know your way back?” She’s noticed me looking at the sky. “You have no stars to help you here. You’re on your own.”

“I have you. I’m counting on you to get us back.”

“I think you’ve said that before,” she says. “Gosh, we were both a couple of downers then, weren’t we?”

She must be remembering the same night I am, the night we took a walk together and I showed her Orion.

“Downers? Come on, that’s a little harsh. I prefer apathetic.”

“I couldn’t stand to be in the same room as you.”

“You couldn’t?” I fake my surprise.

“You almost…” She extends her arm, as if expecting the bruise inflicted by my hand to still be there. Her words have faded but it doesn’t matter. I’ll see that bruise forever. “Who knew what one short month could bring,” she finishes softly.

“It’s been longer than a month.”

“No, it hasn’t. I moved to Black River on the first. It hasn’t even
been
a month.”

“Shit. We don’t mess around,” I say under my breath.

“
You
don’t mess around. I wasn’t involved.”

I laugh. “I’m only going to let you get away with saying that once. Next time…”

“What?” She stops walking, releases my arm, faces me.

I know by the barely covered smile that she’s playing along. I turn her forward and pull her with me. “You heard me talking. So you were involved. Involved enough.”

She holds my arm as she did before. “What was it you said again?”

“I’m not repeating it again. You got it twice. That’s it.”

“Rip-off. I don’t know why I put up with this.” She hugs my arm tighter. “Will you tell me what language it is?”

“
Gaeilge
. Irish Gaelic.”

We walk together in silence. When we turn onto Scarlet Lane, I feel like we’ve lost time we made it back so fast. I lead her up the steps and fish out the key. The door opens into a dark and peaceful house. We carry our bags upstairs to the bedroom at the end of the hall, and I secretly thank Tara for putting us as far away from the other bedrooms as possible.

Inside our room, the chilly air seeps through the old windows. We take off our coats, guns, and shoes, and Liv clamps her teeth and rubs her arms in the cold. I pull my shirt off and yank down the covers.

“After you.” I hope she’s ready for what I’m about to do to her.

“I want to brush my teeth first.”

I drop my head and sigh. How she loves to torture me. We retrieve our toothbrushes from our bags and head to the bathroom.

“I love these old houses. Look at this tile!” She runs her finger along the black and white pattern of tile above the sink while leaning in for a closer look.

How can she be admiring the tile? My need for her surges with a strength so fierce I can’t think straight. Still trying to brush my teeth, I stare at her, those pink lips, the soft skin of her neck, the curves of her body. I feel like I’ve waited an eternity for this.

I finish brushing and wash my face. When I look up from the towel, she’s waiting for me. I go for the light switch.

“I have to pee.”

I gesture toward the toilet.

“Get out.” Stifling a laugh, she shoves my chest with both hands. It takes every ounce of willpower not to catch her hands and pull her body against mine.

I step into the hall and ease the door closed behind me. After a minute she comes out, and I switch places with her. When I join her back in the bedroom, she’s planted in the middle of the room in a tank top and baggy flannel pants, rubbing her arms.

I laugh. “You didn’t have to wait.”

“The sheets are too cold to get in by myself.”

She is so beautiful I feel like I’ve been smacked in the face. I strip down to my boxers and we get under the covers together, colliding in the middle of the bed. I wrap my arms around her to warm her up. She snuggles into me, and my desire unleashes itself, finally freed. I reach over to the nightstand and turn off the light.

“Good night,” she says with exaggerated finality. Another tease. She gets off on this.

“Don’t think so. I’ve waited too long…” I close my eyes and kiss along her collarbone, up her neck, to her ear, savoring the feel of her, the scent of her. I sense her body give, and my lips find hers. And just as I promised, I do not hold back.

*

When I wake up in the morning, she’s attached to my back. I turn over, and she moans in delight. Already awake and smiling with her eyes closed, she reaches for me when I take her against me. I press my lips to hers, and that’s all it takes to want her all over again. She puts her palms against my chest and pushes me away. Her hair is a wild mess that begs to be experienced by every one of my senses.

“I
have
to brush my teeth.” Her eyes remind me of the endless blue sky at home.

“No. I don’t care.” We are wasting precious time.

“I care.”

She slips out of the bed and pulls on her tank top and pants from the floor. I slide out and pull on my pants while we sneak to the bathroom and close ourselves in. We brush our teeth together, our eyes locked in the mirror. I don’t know how I was
ever
able to stay away from her.

Back in the bedroom, I’m all over her before she can close the door. My hands have a mind of their own with their newly found freedom.

“Everyone must still be asleep,” she whispers against my lips.

With the door closed and locked, I lift her up, she wraps her arms around my neck and her legs around my hips, and I carry her back to the bed. The morning slows our rhythm. I forgot what a different experience this is when I’m still groggy from sleep.

When she rolls aside I miss her touch, but I’m too content to do anything about it so I remain on my back. As if reading my mind, she returns. Lays herself against me. Runs her fingers against my hair. I have never known such ecstasy.

Without warning she gasps and pushes herself up. “Trey!”

“What?”

“What if it was a trick? What if Mamó told us that it had already happened just to get us together? So it
would
happen?”

I laugh. She is absolutely right. “I guess we’re that easy.”

She collapses to her back, staring at the ceiling.

“But I don’t fucking care.” I close my eyes. “I’d already given in anyway.”

“Yeah, but I hadn’t.”

I roll on my side to face her. “Irrelevant.”

She pulls the sheet up to her chin. “She wouldn’t do that to us.” She must be trying to convince herself.

“She wouldn’t.” I twist my arm to see my bullet wound. Normally, it would be completely closed up by now, but it’s not. Mamó was telling the truth.

Footsteps sound down the hallway along with Tara’s voice. “Rise and shine!” She knocks on the door. “Up and at ’em, kiddies, breakfast in ten minutes.”

“We’re up.” I sit up.

I take a five-minute shower while Liv combs out her hair. When we enter the kitchen, Tara turns toward us.

“So how does it feel to be thirty and a few days?” she asks me.

I shrug. “The same. You?”

“The same. Just don’t get any paper cuts. They’re going to take forever to heal.”

Paper cuts. She must be being sarcastic. I glance at Liv. She’s smiling at me but can’t cover the worry on her face.

Tara pulls out a chair for Liv. “Please sit. Let’s eat before the kids wake up and all hell breaks loose.”