The Alias Men (16 page)

43

PLACE: MY AUNT AND UNCLE'S HOUSE

TIME: SUNDAY, 6:31 A.M.

STATUS: STUMPED, PRETTY MUCH.

THE ONLY PROBLEM? PLANNING IS NOT
exactly my strong suit—I usually just roll with the punches. But this time, I would have to be the one throwing the first punch. And I had to be really,
really
smart to beat Kate.

No pressure or anything.

But now I could make it right. Get the Dangerous Double. Catch Ethan Melais, aka Katherine Freeman, and save my family—whether Pandora had kicked me off the case or not. And they had given up on catching Kate in LA anyway.

If only I could figure out how to do it. I'd spent most of the short night awake, thinking, while the coils of the foldaway mattress poked in my back. Except by six thirty the next morning, I heard Grandpa shuffle around the room, and I still had no plan.

I needed help. So I called my pal Henry and told him to meet me at the Perfect Frame Café at nine that morning. I had Mike drop me off.

Of course Henry had to show up with Ben and Savannah.

“I thought I told you to come
alone
,” I whispered to Henry when he sat in the chair next to me.

“I needed a ride,” Henry said. Then he smiled. “Plus, you said you needed brainpower, so the more the merrier, right?”

Ben looked most unmerry when he sat down across from me. Savannah just seemed uncomfortable.

“Are you okay?” I asked, since the night before hadn't exactly been easy for her.

“I'm fine, thanks to you. I feel kind of guilty now, leading Kate right to the hat. Henry told me about its special powers,” she added in a whisper.

“You didn't know,” I said. “And I'm just glad she didn't shoot you.”

“Kurt told me he found the hat hidden behind some boxes on a top shelf in the costume warehouse. A lucky find, he called it.” Savannah gave me a sad smile. “Not so much, huh?”

I said, “Let's just work on getting the Dangerous Double back, and catch Kate.” I was kind of glad I had three friends here to help me now, even if Ben was part of our group.

Ben leaned on the table. “So what's your plan? If I'm going to break Pandora mission protocol, it had better be good.”

I looked around to see if anyone was listening in. But the place was deserted, except for a dude at the counter. “Kate got nominated for an award, right?” I looked at Savannah.

She nodded. “Yes,” she whispered, leaning on the table too. “For Best Makeup and Hairstyling.”

“This year there are four nominees, so that makes her odds of winning one in four,” Henry said. “That's a twenty-five percent chance. Of course, it also depends on politics and previous awards won, plus—”

“Let's stick with the one-in-four odds,” I said, cutting Henry off. “Whatever her chances, she'll want to come, right?”

“The Oscar is the most prestigious award in the industry,” Savannah said.

“But Kate can't really show her face,” I said.

“There is a warrant out for her arrest.” Ben nodded in confirmation. “The LAPD will be looking for Kate. The last thing she will want to do is show up at the Academy Awards today.”

“See, that's where you're wrong,” I said, knowing I was right about this. “Think about that profile we made of Ethan Melais, and everything we know about Kate. She wants—no, she
needs
the credit. Just like when she left the business card as Ethan Melais. She wants the recognition. Kate will show up for the Oscar. I feel it in my gut.”

“Kate can just wear the Chaplin hat and go undetected,” Savannah said.

“So let's catch her,” I said. “The Academy Awards are our one chance. Kate will have to wear the hat to make it inside.”

“You're forgetting one thing.” Savannah sat back in her chair. “Kate has to win, or she won't reveal herself.”

“How about we con her?” I said, feeling that rush you get when you suddenly have a good idea. I looked at Henry. “Let's make the chances of Kate winning that Oscar one hundred percent.”

Ben actually smiled. “If Kate wins, she'll have to come out of hiding to collect her award.”

“And we steal the Dangerous Double.” I smiled too. “Let's do it.”

Now, this was more of an idea than a plan at this point. I had no clue how we were going to pull it off.

Savannah laughed and shook her head when we got to this part of the scheme. “You can't just rig the Oscars. There are strict security procedures on who handles the envelopes, and how they make it to the stage. On top of that, it's not like the jurors aren't aware of who they picked.”

“But the con doesn't have to hold up for more than the moment it's announced,” I said. “We just need Kate to believe she won, so she'll take off the hat.”

“Couldn't you make a replica of the envelope?” Ben asked Henry. “Like you make your gadgets, only of the winning announcement.”

Henry nodded. “I'll look at the footage of last year's award show to see what the envelope looks like. It can't be that hard.”

“I know one of the people guarding the envelopes,” Savannah said. “She works in the production office at
You Only Live Once
. I might be able to get away with a swap.”

“Now all we need to do is get into the Chinese Theatre,” I said.

“That's easy.” Savannah smiled. “Mom can get me tickets; I'm sure of it. We're part of the acclaimed director Nigel Floyd's latest project, aren't we?”

“We are.” I smiled. “People are dying to see us.”

Ben nodded. “The Hollywood kids.”

44

SUNDAY, 3:25 P.M.

THERE WAS ONLY ONE SMALL PROBLEM
with our plan to take down Kate at the Academy Awards. And this time it wasn't a bad dude or lack of transportation holding me back.

It was the Baker family. I was supposed to be at the family barbecue that afternoon, and those reunion get-togethers went well into the evening. There was no way Mom would let me off the hook.

So as I stood at the bedroom window and watched my cousin Tara from San Diego struggle to find a parking spot out front, I tried to think of an excuse. Some fake story that would get me out of Pasadena and to the Chinese Theatre, where the Academy Awards were going down that evening with a special nod to classic movies. But I couldn't think of any lie that would sucker Mom and Dad into letting me go.

“What's wrong, Linc?” Grandpa looked up from his crossword puzzle.

“I think we have a chance to catch our bad lady.”

“Really?” He closed the puzzle book, smiling. “I thought you were off the case.”

“I'm trying to set things right.” I sat down on the bed and told Grandpa about our plan to take Kate down at the Academy Awards. “It's risky. I mean, she tried to kill me four times: first the car, then the drowning, and the Ferris wheel. And at Floyd's house last night. I'm kind of scared.”

Grandpa looked at me. He hesitated. “You know how I said I couldn't join the army because of my peepers?”

“Your eyesight was bad, sure.” I hoped Grandpa wasn't going to tell that whole Geronimo story again. “Otherwise you would've been a parachute dude.”

Grandpa shook his head. “My eyesight was fine back then. I went to the army recruiter's office, stood right outside for an hour. And then I chickened out.”

I didn't know what to say to that. I mean, I told my share of fibs, but that was a big one.

“I let fear hold me back,” Grandpa said. “These Pandora types keep calling you for a reason. I don't want you to not take the chance, be afraid, and—”

“Linc!” It was Mom, calling from downstairs. It was three thirty; I was supposed to meet Savannah at four to head to the awards. I was running out of time.

I sighed. “Coming!”

“Gimme a minute.” Grandpa stood, and went downstairs.

I got up and slowly followed him. Maybe I could just sneak out, deal with the consequences later. This was a bad-lady takedown we were talking about. My family's lives were on the line. The stakes were too high for me to blow it off for a Baker barbecue.

But I didn't need to worry. Grandpa met me at the bottom of the stairs. With Mike.

“You're back on the job, Lincoln,” Grandpa said. “No one messes with the Bakers, remember?”

“But what about Mom and Dad?” I asked.

“I've got you covered,” Grandpa said. Then he leaned close.
“Agent Baker.”

I argued, “But I'm not an—”

“Shhhh.” Grandpa handed a set of car keys to Mike. “He's driving you.”

“In the new car? No way,” Mike whispered.

Grandpa smiled. “Linc here is going in a Chaplin costume—gotta have the wheels to match.”

“The family is letting me drive the mint 1940 Cadillac Town Car they just overhauled?” Mike's jaw dropped. “Man,” he whispered.

“We're borrowing it,” Grandpa said with a wink to me. “That's what family does: They take care of each other.” Something told me no one knew about us borrowing the classic car Dad and I had worked on just last night. Mom always wonders why I get into trouble so much—I think Grandpa's genes are to blame.

“Thanks, Grandpa.”

Grandpa waved his hand like it was all nothing, but we both knew better. “I'm gonna get me a hot dog and some of that store-bought macaroni salad. You kids need to scram before anyone realizes I swiped the keys.”

“Man,”
Mike whispered again.

Grandpa pushed us toward the door. “No fear. Go catch that bad lady, Linc.”

45

SUNDAY, 4:45 P.M.

“THIS IS SKYLAR BROOKE, REPORTING
live from the red carpet. I can sense the excitement in the air, can't you? Listen to those fans! Behind me, you can see Hollywood's hottest star, David Graham, with his new girlfriend, infomercial success Tiffany Pierce—don't they look smashing together?

“Oh, and here's Ava Stone with her husband, the musical composer John Stone. Aren't they the most graceful couple ever? And I hear their daughter, Savannah, will be making her own debut on the red carpet shortly. . . .”

We were watching the show on Henry's tablet, waiting just a few blocks away in the newly overhauled 1940 Cadillac Town Car. Mike was at the wheel.

“It worked,” Savannah mumbled, smiling. She'd spent a few hours sending emails to reporters and making phone calls, to make sure the story buzzed in the media by the time the pre-Oscar entertainment started. Savannah had even gotten us tickets—her mother just made a few phone calls and it was a done deal.

“Savannah is going to arrive with the top secret junior cast of British director Nigel Floyd's much anticipated production,
The Hollywood Kid
. There have been some rumors that the production was halted, but representatives of the famous director have told us there are just some logistical delays. We're certainly going to get the scoop for you on that!”

“Man, this is so cool.” Mike was following along from the driver's seat. He was wearing his prom tuxedo and was ready to drive us for our red-carpet arrival. Ben and I were both in Chaplin costumes and Savannah was in her 1930s dress—courtesy of Kurt the costume designer, who'd jumped into action when he heard we were going to the Academy Awards. Of course, he thought we were going there to promote the movie to get funding back. Lucky for us, word of Kate's criminal enterprise as Ethan Melais hadn't made it to the crew yet.

Henry was happy to stay behind. “I'll monitor the TV feed, in case stuff happens. You know.”

“Perfect.” I knew Henry didn't like to be out in the field. “We need you here,” I told him.

Henry looked happy to hear that.

“When do we go?” Ben asked. He pushed the fake mustache down on his upper lip. “Aren't we going to be late?”

“We want to be the last to arrive,” I said, reminding him of the plan. “That way Kate will already be inside, and we surprise the audience.” I held up the Double Detector, the device we'd used to find the evil Mona Lisa on my first mission, in Paris. “I'll be able to spot Kate with this.”

“It should work.” Henry sounded nervous. “The Dangerous Doubles all have a heat signature of twenty-point-two degrees Celsius when exposed to light. At least that's my theory.”

“It'll work,” I said. I wasn't sure if I was just making Henry feel better, or myself too.

“Hey, cuz,” Mike called from the front. “Watch the TV.”

“Well, that just about wraps up our red-carpet preshow.” Skylar hesitated, glancing at the street.

“We have to go,” I said, and we all buckled into our seats. Mike drove the few blocks to the Chinese Theatre, where the Oscars were held, and Savannah told the security guards who we were. We pulled past a couple of roadblocks and past the paparazzi.

The place was packed. There were cameras all over the place, limousines pulling up or leaving, and lots of famous and not-so-famous people in fancy dresses and tuxedos. Suddenly I got really nervous.

I was at the Academy Awards!

“Awesome,” Mike muttered in the driver's seat. He pulled up to a crowd of photographers on the red carpet. A lady wearing a silver dress and very high heels was talking into a microphone in front of a camera—Skylar Brooke.

I wiped my palms on my Chaplin costume pants and put on the bowler hat.

“And here they are!” I heard when I got out. I opened the back door so Savannah could exit the car. Ben was right behind her, and I realized that I looked like the limo driver or something.

TV show host Skylar Brooke interviewed Savannah, just like we'd planned. A bunch of paparazzi crowded us, pushing us out of the way to catch a picture of Savannah. So much for us being the famous Hollywood kids.

Ben and I slipped past the photographers and hurried down the red carpet. We passed all these celebrities posing for fans and photographers as we moved toward the entrance of the Chinese Theatre. I wish I could have stopped to take it all in, but we were on a mission.

“Let's get inside.” I was about to push past the security guard, holding the Double Detector in my hands. But then one of the dudes grabbed me by the arm.

“No tablets or electronic devices allowed,” he said in a burly voice.