The Accidental Bride (22 page)

‘Me too.’

Caroline laughed and reached out to squeeze her hand.

‘But it’s not just that. Not just that he’s so handsome and rich and all that,’ Lizzie went on quickly. ‘I love him. He’s a wonderful man. Funny … a bit of a challenge sometimes, I must admit. But he’s everything I ever dreamed of. I know that sounds a bit drippy, and a bit melodramatic and OTT, but when I sit down and work out how I feel about him, well, that’s it.’ She hesitated, aware that she was babbling like a fool and that her cheeks were hot. ‘And yes, he does sleep here, some of the time. I’m not sure he’s slept a full night with me, but I think he gets a few hours’ sleep, most nights. So, that’s progress, isn’t it?’

Caroline beamed. ‘It’s wonderful! I’m so happy to hear that. I mean, it’s obvious to me that he loves you very deeply, my dear. And he deserves that love. He’s waited for it a long, long time.’

Lizzie blinked furiously, and the older woman slipped a hand in the pocket of her rosy jacket and pulled out a crisp, laundered handkerchief trimmed with lace, and passed it to her.

‘I feel such a fool.’ Lizzie sniffed and blotted her eyes, feeling terrible that she was putting mascara splodges on a very expensive handkerchief.

‘No, you’re not.’ Caroline hugged her. ‘You’re a lovely girl in love with a lovely man.’

‘I know … I know … It’s just I’m … well, the future, you know? I think I want it all, but “it all” comes with a lot of other stuff. A very different life. I’m not sure I’m fitted for it, and I’m not sure John even wants that anyway. He’s never said as much, but I get the feeling he doesn’t plan to marry again.’

The older woman nodded. ‘Yes, marrying John brings responsibilities, but you love each other, and you’ll be able to support each other through whatever you’re faced with.’ She squeezed Lizzie’s hand again. ‘And really, his family are quite a decent bunch, apart from his father … who more or less banned me from Montcalm after John and I married. He actually waved his shotgun at John.’ She shrugged expressively. Lizzie knew the tale. ‘But his mother is still one of my oldest friends, and I know she’d welcome you ecstatically. You wouldn’t be able to do any wrong in her eyes, for finally taming her most difficult son. Well, as much as is possible … And as for Welbeck, well, the old bastard doesn’t really like anybody, and least of all me. But he’d probably embrace you happily because you’re young enough to produce an heir. Which I so obviously wasn’t.’

It was Lizzie’s turn to laugh, but it came out a little high and shrill. Caroline gave her a shrewd look.

‘But I think I know what worries you more, my dear. Apart from his family and dynastic implications.’

How could she tell this lovely woman about that deepest fear? The fear of Caroline’s own daughter.

‘John was over Clara long, long ago, sweetheart. And they were never really right for each other anyway, even though I know John loved her at the time.’ She looked away for a second, her lips pursed. ‘But she treated him abominably, and that’s why I … I made my own play for
him. To punish her. And to give him a chance to punish her too.’

For a few long moments, Caroline seemed to be thinking, drawing in deep breaths. ‘You must think it’s a very strange state of affairs. John being with Clara, and then marrying me … and then, afterwards, going back to her.’

‘It is a bit weird,’ admitted Lizzie, and Caroline turned back to her with a smile.

‘She behaved appallingly. Betrayed him in the most hateful way, when he’d sacrificed so much for her. She didn’t deserve him.’

Good grief, did Caroline know the true story of the accident too? The secret knowledge, told to Lizzie by Rose, the only other living witness, that Clara had been driving the car that fatal night?

‘Ah … Yes … John has never told me the full story of the night of the accident. He’s too chivalrous. But I have my suspicions.’ She looked into Lizzie’s eyes, her own bright and perceptive, and suddenly very sad. ‘I see that I was right. I might have known.’ Tears glistened in her eyes, and silently Lizzie handed back the crumpled handkerchief so Caroline could dab too. ‘I won’t ever say anything, though, sweetheart. I won’t let him know that I know, and Clara would never admit it, of course. She’s probably convinced herself that it happened the way everybody else believes, anyway.’

How torn she must be. Clara is her own daughter, and yet she knows all her child’s faults, and suffers for them.

‘I do love Clara,’ Caroline went on. ‘Despite how it might seem. I still feel guilty, because she’s my daughter and in some ways I quite deliberately tried to hurt her by marrying John. But I know how selfish she can be, and
at that time I hated her too, for what she’d done to him.’ She smiled at Lizzie anew. ‘John is much better off with you, my dear. With you he can be happy, and that’s what I want. I only wish Clara could find a man who’s right for her too. There was one … A man I think would put up with her skittishness and with whom she’d have a good life …’ Caroline shrugged. ‘But she’s too stubborn to see him in that light.’

Curious, Lizzie asked, ‘But what about her husband? Isn’t she happy with him? John says she lives in South America now.’ Disquiet stirred. As long as her Nemesis was far away on another continent, she could put her out of sight, out of mind. But if Clara was on the loose, well, that was troubling to say the least.

Caroline let out a sigh. ‘No, I think that’s probably over. He was too old for her, really. Both her husbands have been … And she had affairs.’ The older woman stared out of the window again, frowning. The day was beautiful, and golden, but somehow there were also shadows now.

‘Oh …’ was all Lizzie could manage, trying to quash her qualms.

Suddenly, Caroline grasped her hands very hard. ‘Lizzie, I do fear that Clara might be setting her cap at John again. I could see it, a little while ago, when John visited me in New York. Clara was there too, complaining to me about her husband, and I could see by the way she looked at John, and the way she acted … I know her. I saw her plying her wiles.’ Her hands tightened around Lizzie’s. ‘You must believe me, dear, he wasn’t interested. Not in the slightest little bit. But still, I fear my daughter could make trouble for you. She’s planning to return to England, with my grandson. She might already be on her way.’

I must not be cowed by this. I must not go ballistic. John does love me and I love him. She can’t touch us.

‘Oh … right. I didn’t know Clara had children.’

‘Yes, a boy. Charlie,’ replied Caroline, with a wry smile. ‘He’s a sweetie. Bright as a button. And for all her faults, my daughter does love him dearly, even though she’s not the world’s best mother.’

But even as she wondered vaguely which of Clara’s husbands Charlie belonged to, Lizzie knew what she had to do herself, in order to combat the threat of her lover’s powerfully determined ex. She shuddered. It would be the best thing … The most unequivocal. To be as sure as it was possible to be of their relationship. But, would John ever be ready for that step, or even want to take it? She wasn’t even sure of it herself …

‘I think you know what you should do, don’t you, Lizzie dear?’ said Caroline softly.

Did John’s ex-wife have the same mind-reading powers he did? It almost seemed so.

‘I’m sure it’s in his mind,’ the older woman went on. ‘It would only take a word, a hint from you, that you want it too … And that way, Clara would know that her fantasies of getting him back were hopeless and empty.’

Lizzie nodded, but her thoughts were whirling.

It was the next step … but was it a step too far for John?

As John watched the Rolls-Royce pulling away, and waved to Caroline, his thoughts whirled.

Get a grip, man. How old are you? Fifteen?

He knew what he had to do. He knew what he wanted to do, and needed to do. But still, it was a huge step. He gambled with millions in his business life, but it never felt like this. The only sure, steady anchor was Lizzie’s arm tucked in his, and her warm, fragrant presence at his side. He smiled at her, more to reassure himself than her. She was his confidence.

He was in turmoil. Good turmoil in a way, but even so.

‘That all went well,’ said Lizzie, her smile bright. She was shaken up too, despite her composed demeanour, and the gracious, natural way she’d just said farewell to Caroline.

Her smile made him smile. God, he was so proud of her. He always was, but today more than most days. With awesome poise, she’d met two very important people in his life, and they’d both loved her, instantly. She’d shown no nerves and no uncertainty, even though he knew she’d been feeling both.

A beautiful, easy-going hostess, she’d helped everyone enjoy themselves. He was the one who’d felt awkward, always fighting his rampaging desire for her, all through the afternoon. Never had his powers of self-control been taxed so hard. Was that why he was in such an idiotic stew now?

‘It was a wonderful day, love, and you were amazing.’ He spun her round and kissed her. They had serious issues to confront, heavy ‘stuff’. But his mind and his body shied away from that, zeroing in on unfinished business that was easier and simpler. He could still imagine the luscious taste of her pussy. He wanted to taste it again, and do much, much more, even though he knew that plunging into sex now was just a way, albeit a very beautiful way, of avoiding thornier discussions.

‘Thank you, Mr Smith. You weren’t so bad yourself. Everybody had a great time, especially Brent and Shelley and Sholto. Thank you for putting them at their ease.’ She kissed him back, playful nibbles around the edge of his mouth. Oh, God love her, she was right on the same page. Going for the sexy stuff, just like him.

‘And you made Caroline love you. I knew you would. Thank you for being so kind to her. It must have been awkward any number of times over.’

Lizzie gave him a steady look. ‘It was easy. She’s a lovely woman. I really like her.’

He knew other words were on the tip of her tongue, but either through tact, or perhaps anxiety, she didn’t utter them.

‘Shall we go inside now?’ he said, taking her by the arm.

Everyone had gone. Caroline had been the last to leave. Lizzie had urged her friends to stay the night, but both Brent and Tom, and Shelley and Sholto, had politely
declined. John had a feeling that both the other couples felt as he did. They were at that stage when it was important to be in their own particular space, in order to be truly intimate.

Intimate. Intimate. Intimate. That was what he wanted to be. Now. Mad lust galloped through him, the urge to grab Lizzie and fuck her right there, on the hall floor. His cock stiffened. It would be a displacement activity as much as lovemaking, and she’d know that, but she’d still be up for it. And the Thursgoods had retired for the evening.

No!

He’d make love to Lizzie, long and slow … or wild and fast … or both … later. There was another matter to be dealt with first. Something he couldn’t put to one side, not even for the ineffable pleasure of fucking Lizzie. Caroline’s benign prompting had only crystallised something that had already been in his heart and mind, but not acknowledged. Perhaps as far back as that first fateful night at the Waverley Grange.

He’d experienced what the French called a
coup de foudre
that night – love at first sight – and he’d begun changing and growing, as he’d fallen deeper and ever deeper under Lizzie’s spell.

He stopped Lizzie in the hall, and pressed a chaste kiss to her forehead. ‘You go up, love. I’m just going to check all the doors and the security. I’ll join you as soon as I’ve done that, and had a shower.’ He stole another kiss. ‘Keep the bed warm for me.’

That look of comprehension passed across her face. She understood. He needed a bit of space to order his thoughts. Before … well … before what they probably both knew was coming.

‘OK, see you in a little bit.’ She squeezed his hand, then hurried on and up the stairs, almost making him groan at the provocative sight of her sleek legs making her petticoats flounce as she ascended.

‘Marry her, you idiot,’ Caroline had said. ‘Marry her and love her and be together for ever. She’s wonderful. She’s right for you. She’s the one.’

His ex-wife had buttonholed him in a quiet moment, drawing him aside while Lizzie had been in the pool with her friends and Tom.

John had been nonplussed. Not because Caroline was saying something he didn’t want to hear, but because, as ever, she was so absolutely and completely right.

‘Get engaged as soon as you can, Jonny. The sooner the better.’ His ex-wife’s frown had spoken volumes about her own conflicted feelings. ‘You … You do know that my daughter might be harbouring ideas that she might be able to get you back, don’t you? She’s getting a divorce from Ernesto and she’s coming back to England with Charlie. I know what’s in her mind, even if she doesn’t know I know. It was patently obvious in New York.’

They’d spoken further, quietly, John confirming Caroline’s suspicions. She’d begged him to act, alarm on her face, although to her credit, as the party had reformed, she hadn’t shown even a hint of it. Even though Lizzie wasn’t her daughter, they were much alike in that.

And now he prepared to follow Caro’s advice. As he checked the house, he rehearsed little speeches in his mind, laughing silently at himself. He’d brokered hundreds of deals, subtlety and guile his most potent weapons. He’d pushed and he’d achieved his goals through what amounted to sheer force of personality. He was a winner. The ultimate
achiever. A force to be reckoned with. But faced with love, and the possibility of cocking things up completely, he was as gauche as a boy again. A fresh, hopeful boy, though; the lad he’d once been before his illusions had been shattered.

With about twenty different versions of his ‘speech’ in his head, and freshly showered and shaved, he strode to the bedroom. No faltering now, even after he’d frowned in the mirror, prodding at his laughter lines, then grimaced even more, swearing that there might even be a few grey hairs amongst the gold. The night was chilly after the gorgeous day, but the pyjamas and robe he wore were his shield and his armour.