The 90 Day Rule (19 page)

“Believe what?” That came out as a weak croak. There were tears gathering, just in case.

Just in case I’m wrong. Just in case he meant it.

This time he growled, really, truly growled, like a wild thing, his fingers stripping my gloves and heaving them onto the floor. His breath came in hisses and gasps. I’d have backed away but there was nowhere to go.

Nowhere I wanted to go.

His sister.

“I told you I’d come for you.”

The coat came off next, right sleeve, then the left, the bulky fabric left bunched in a roll behind my back. The scarf sat on the arm of the sofa, just on the other side of the pillow.

I did prim, “You said you wouldn’t wait.” Petty and small made for ill-advised comebacks and if I could have cut out my tongue to take the words back I would have.

He stood. And stared down at me. I think. I guessed. I had my head buried so far into my chest I no longer had any sensation other than regret.

My lips registered salty wetness.

Ears burning, I tried to shut out the string of curses, then sound muffled as the nylon tank top slipped up and over the cornrows. I hadn’t changed back in the locker room.

Oh God, I need a shower.

“If that’s what you want…” he purred.

Want. Want?

I clutched at the sturdy cotton-spandex sports bra squashing my boobs into fleshy tortillas. It crisscrossed my back, the straps wide and sturdy. Getting it off required a degree in mechanical engineering and a strong constitution because when peeled back, the effect was Jack-in-the-Box spectacular.

He snickered and said, “Do it. This I have to see.” He licked his lips in anticipation.

If I think of it like a frilly bit of a Victoria’s Secret lace confection…

The fabric stretched, refusing to yield. There was no way to do it with dignity. And no way I was doing it sitting down.

In a single upward thrust, I rose off the couch and yanked the offending device out, up and over my head.

He hissed, “Yessss,” sibilant and greedy, with warm palms cradling the fullness of each globe, thumbs already sweetly stroking and tickling flesh gone über-sensitive.

Back arching, I yielded but then he abruptly released me and backed away. I risked a look.

His face was harsh, fierce. Moving to cover my nakedness with my hands, I stalled when he snaked blunt fingers around my left arm and shook it, then slipped down to grip my wrist.

“Take them off.”

Shimmying my hips, I tried to comply but the elastic bit into my skin and refused to budge.

“Not those. I can handle that myself.” He waggled the wrist, turning the palm up.

I gulped.

“You have to do it, Jes. Not me. It’s your rule. Not mine.” Blue eyes pierced my soul. “Take the rings off.”

My heart stuttered to a stop, air evacuated my lungs, throwing me into a moral free fall. So many years, so much water under the bridge. So many compromises.

Was this just another one?

When you convince yourself that no one can ever care, deeply, sincerely, all you have left, in the end, are the rigid forms that give structure to the endless days and nights. Wasn’t it better to have a half-life instead of one that was nothing but chaos and fear? Or worse yet, no life at all.

The rules … even if they existed only in my head … made me a better person.

Didn’t they?

I needed an answer to a question. Just one.

Why?

Chapter Sixteen: The Answer

Jack glared at me, our bodies locked in a rigid stand-off, guns cocked, ready to unleash with both barrels.

He answered my unspoken question with one of his own. “When he pressed you, what did you do?”

Huh?

“Roddie. He was all over you. What. Did. You. Do?” Each word punctuated with latent aggression.

“I pushed back.”

“Exactly.” Jack leaned in, so close it made me afraid. Terrified. Because I knew what was coming.

“You are a force of nature out there, Jes, a warrior. Nothing on God’s earth can stop you when you go after what you want.”

But that was different. It was a game. Just a game. Wasn’t it?

“It’s not just a game. Not to people like us. We live and breathe the same air, Jessamine Cavanaugh.” He stroked my collar bone, his voice ragged and needy. “Do you understand what I’m saying?”

Yes, no. Maybe.

Why?

Why not?

Both of us looking for the same answer, the same need for affirmation of our feelings. One of us had to make the first move. One had to make the concession. Both of us with nothing and everything to lose.

Unsteadily I held out my hand. He was going to protest but I cut him off.

“Jack, if I do… If
we
do this, then we’ll do it together.”

With extreme care, he positioned his thumb under the set of rings, his thick index finger pressing on mine. Slowly he, we, slid the cold metal off my skin and bone.

He took the evidence of my bondage and asked, “What do you want me to do with these?”

I thought about putting them where the sun don’t shine.  Then ‘little robert’ came to mind and I grinned.

Jack said, “I’m almost afraid to ask…”

Thank God, he couldn’t read my mind because if he could…

He slipped the rings into a pocket and swallowed, hard.

“Jes, this isn’t going to be how I wanted it.”

I’d never seen a man so coiled, so tense, with eyes turning the color of storm-tossed seas, every muscle quivering. I was afraid to touch him for fear he’d shatter.

He swallowed and stripped my nylon shorts and underpants, not waiting for me to step out of them, just lifting me up and setting me aside. I kicked them out of the way and watched with hungry eyes as he made short work of his clothing, the distance between us a demilitarized zone he was going to breech.

Unless I got there first.

I feathered my fingers over the lean lines of his hip bones and said, “Tell me what you want, Jack.”

His body gave me all the answers I’d ever need and with a groan he scooped me in his arms. We made it to the hallway.

“Fuck.” He set me down and stared longingly at the bedroom door, miles away. He was breathing hard.

There was no point in taking offense. I was no lightweight so I just said, “Okay.” He apparently had no idea what I was saying ‘okay’ to.

Jessamine Cavanaugh did it in the hallway with a nimble tongue.

Backing his huge body against the wall, I sank to my knees and ignored the ‘Jes?’ as I explored with my mouth, growing bolder and more adventurous with every groan of pleasure. Whether from him or me I couldn’t tell.

His taste was like nothing I’d ever experienced. I didn’t want to stop but he hissed, “Sweetheart, I won’t last, not like this. I-I need to be inside you. Now.”

He wasn’t kidding.

Jack groaned, “Oh God, baby, give me a minute.”

He’d flipped me onto my side, my back to his belly, fingers entwined. We were close to the edge of the bed. The nightstand was on its side, the small lamp and alarm clock upside down on the pine flooring. Jack eased into the deep rhythmic breathing of the sated.

But not asleep. Definitely not.

A flat palm brushed along the rise of my belly, then travelled south, fingers busy stroking sensitive flesh swollen and ripe from the…

…gawd, thrusting, plunging, ramming, his thick length growing harder the more he penetrated my inner being… Coming with a roar. Ay caramba!

“Push against me, that’s it, harder. Let it happen.” He continued whispering in my ear, but my brain shut down, the coil tightening until all I wanted, demanded, was release from the exquisite torture.

When my body finally took off, the tremors rocking me to my core, he twisted my head around and buried his tongue in my mouth, demanding, owning me.

I woke to find Jack coming into the bedroom with two mugs of coffee.

Stretching, I admired the view. There was a lot to see. And for once I wasn’t afraid or embarrassed to take my fill of him.

“Morning, sunshine.” He set the mugs on the now righted nightstand and sat on the edge of the bed. “Weatherman says the storm’s mostly over but the roads are a mess. Campus is open but my office called and said don’t bother trying to come in. Anyone who’s got to drive is SOL today.” He gave me an evil grin and glanced at the nightstand.

I looked over too. At the alarm clock, the steaming mug. And a stack of three boxes of Trojans. Probably extra-large, maybe even jumbo sized.

I couldn’t help myself. “I see you were serious.” He followed my line of sight, not understanding. “About coming for me?”

That earned me a swat on the bottom and round four.

Maybe it was five.

I couldn’t be sure. One thing I did know for certain, I wasn’t going to be making up any grocery lists in the near future.

“You hungry, hon? I have eggs. I think.”

Toweling off, the hot shower a decadent luxury, I slipped into the old fleece robe and padded into the living room. Jack was still outside scraping ice off the deck so we could use the hot tub. I ached in places I didn’t know a body could. A good kind of ache. But not one I wanted to explain to my daughter and her new fiancé. Or the boys.

I smiled to myself. Etty and Chazz made it home without incident but their description of the icy conditions on the roads convinced me that staying put was my best option. Besides, it gave those two lovebirds more time alone.

Damn, I needed to find my own place, now more than ever.

Jack’s lips brushed my hair. “Whatcha thinking about, babe?”

“Hey, I didn’t hear you come in.” I held up the phone. “That was Etty.” I shared the news and wasn’t surprised that Jack already knew, at least about the weekend at the cabin. And the purpose. What was news was the ‘yes’.

“I know you’re happy, darlin’, but there’s a big ‘but’ going on there.”

Dang my face.

“So sit down and tell me.” He moved us to the couch and gathered me in his arms. It felt right. “Come on, spill.”

So I did. Chapter and verse, beginning to end. Explaining my fifth wheel status came easier than I expected. I skirted around the issue of funds but vowed to find a way to make do, even if I had to room with another student.

He was quiet for a long time, stroking my shoulder. I could almost hear the wheels turning.

“Jes.” I tensed, unsure about the tone of voice. “You asked a question and I never answered.”

Pulling away so I could see his face, I waited for the other shoe to drop.

He placed a hand on his chin, going deadly serious on me. “You asked why. I didn’t answer because I thought it was obvious.” He shrugged and smiled wryly. “I’m not always quick on the uptake. The thing is … I love you. I fell for you the first time I saw you.” He worried at his lower lip, avoiding my eyes.

As if he were afraid I might not feel the same.

“I, uh, realize now you didn’t get it when I said I wasn’t waiting, that I was coming for you. That wasn’t me going all Neanderthal on your ass…”

Really, I kinda liked it … but I’d never let him know that.

“Oh. Really?” Hope bloomed, tempered by surprise and then a wisp of gotcha.

Well, so much for keeping secrets.

“I’m going to give you a choice.”

“A choice.”

“Yeah. You’ll be moving in with me.” Period, end of discussion. When my eyebrows shot skyward, he continued, “Now, I can ask nicely and give you all the financial reasons why it makes sense. Or I can hit you over the head with a club and drag you into my man-cave.”

“That’s it? That’s my selection?”

“Um, you can have the girls’ room if you need your own space. They don’t come so much now that they’re grown and I can also put them up at the Inn when they do visit.”

He got up and walked to the sliding glass door. Motioning me over, he pointed to the left and said, “There’s room over there to add on after we’re married. I’ve got a little put away so we won’t be getting ourselves buried in debt.”

“Uh, whoa, Tex…”

He held up a hand. “I know, I know. You have questions. But there’s nothing we can’t work out. We have a couple of years before we have to make a decision about where we go next.”

“I choked out, “Next?”

“Yeah, you’re not alone anymore. Whatever you want to do, wherever you want to go, you’ll have me in your corner.”

For once my inner and outer voice got speechless at the same time.