The 2084 Precept (41 page)

"Hazardous?" I asked. "How can we be
hazardous, Jeremy? To whom? We can't even travel around our own
solar system, let alone go anywhere else."

"Ah, and there you have hit the nail on the
head, Peter," he replied. "A hazardous life form is one which is
not only a cruel and murderous one within its own habitat, but one
which is potentially dangerous to the universe. In other words, a
species which is likely, eventually, to discover and understand the
workings of the fifth dimension. Likely, as a result, to be able to
spread itself out into the universe. Likely, therefore, to spread
its homicidal and barbarous activities among other species. And
unintelligent, with all due respect again Peter, though you may be,
you are quite clever in the relatively insignificant field of
technological matters. Slow, but clever. My people estimate that in
less than one hundred years, using your planet's time scale, you
will have acquired reasonable knowledge of what the fifth dimension
is and how it functions. And that would make you seriously
dangerous, a hazard to the harmonious and benevolent existence of
all of the universe's intelligent species. And that we cannot
allow."

"Would? Cannot allow? Tell me, Peter, what
happened to the first life form you identified as hazardous?"

"We eliminated it. A cancerous growth needs
to be prevented from spreading."

"I thought you said you were a benevolent
lot. How can you go around eliminating things? Species, for
goodness' sake:"

"We are back to the ants in your garden,
Peter. If you are an animal and insect lover, you probably wouldn't
want, nor see any need, to harm them. But if they invaded your
house, and if they were a variety of killer ant, and if they were
multiplying and beginning to disrupt the harmony in your life, you
would probably take steps to eliminate them. As you would with some
aggressive wasps which had built a nest by your front door. Their
lives are not, after all, of great importance to you in the overall
scheme of things."

"Yes, but…"

"And my analogous example is, in fact, an
understatement. You already have chemical factories around the
world manufacturing toxic sprays for the mass slaughter of ants and
wasps and slugs and other insects which bother you in minor ways.
Such as daring to walk across your terrace, for example. And what
we are talking about here is slightly more important than that, if
you will allow me the understatement."

"So we are as unimportant to you as the ants
and the wasps are to us?"

"Correct, Peter. And you would normally be
of no interest to us other than for study purposes. But the facts
of the situation have now changed this."

"You don't mean that you are going to
eliminate us? Is that what you want me to believe?" I asked. A
distinctly crazy question, no doubt about it, but then I was
conversing with a distinctly crazy person, no doubt about that
either.

Jeremy chuckled, not particularly
humorously, but he chuckled. "No, Peter. As I have already
mentioned, I know you don't believe anything at all about me,
although you should. But no, no decision has been taken yet to
eliminate you. The problem for you however, is that it might be.
And in the meantime, I think we should try to prevent such a
decision, or at least try to have it delayed. But we would need to
work very fast."

"Why do you say 'we'? And why would you want
to prevent such a decision? I thought you said we were as
unimportant to you as ants."

"Yes, I did say that and yes, you are. As
for wanting to allay such a terminal decision, let me say again
that I am a benevolent being and would not enjoy seeing the
unnecessary elimination of a species before its time. Any more than
you would want to start killing ants when you get back home just
for the fun of it, if they are neither bothering you nor
interfering with your life. At least I hope you wouldn't, although,
as you have already explained, many of your fellow beings do in
fact kill just for the enjoyment of it, sport I think you called
it. And I say 'we', because you are the only person I know who
could possibly help me in this attempt."

"Yes, but as you said—and I mean this
respectfully—I don't believe a single word of any of this and
therefore I am not about to involve myself in whatever it is you
have in mind."

"Your answer was of course foreseen," said
Jeremy. "And so we come down to money again, an incentive of an
amount which will surely be of interest to you."

He wasn't wrong there. Even more money! The
ocean waves I am swimming on right now are gentle and beautiful
ones indeed, carrying me tenderly toward an exotic island full of
coconut trees and half-naked girls (half-naked being preferable to
naked, thus retaining the pleasurable anticipation of making one or
more of them naked later on). However, Jeremy was not going to make
me a billionaire. So how much should I insist on? And what would I
have to do for it?

"How much?" I asked.

"I was thinking of an additional €200,000,"
said Jeremy.

"For doing what? I mean, if we are
classified as 'hazardous' already, there's not much we can do about
that, is there?" I am playing the game I am, right through to the
money winging its way into in my bank account. Hopefully.

"'Not much' is an accurate statement," said
Jeremy. "In fact, there is only
one
thing we can do, or
attempt to do. And that is to try and have you change yourselves,
change who you are and what you are and what you do, your whole
behavior. To try and have you convert yourselves into a benevolent
life form, living peacefully and in harmony among yourselves and
among the other species on your planet. And consequently, when you
have learned how to travel, to peaceably and amicably relate with
the other life forms in the universe also. A pretty simple and
intelligent goal, you might say. An obvious and highly beneficial
objective. For an intelligent species, it is. But with you guys, at
your level of intelligence, it is going to be a complicated and
difficult task, to put it mildly. And that is why I am using the
word 'attempt'."

"And how on earth do you propose to achieve
that? Or rather, attempt to achieve it?" I asked.

"Not I, but we," corrected Jeremy again.
"Being organized the way you are at the moment, we would have to
get all of your world's top elected birdbrains—as you and your
friend call them—to meet and agree on the initial steps necessary
to launch a mutation process. It will take them time, many years I
would think, to actually implement all of the changes, assuming of
course that they can manage to agree to do so in the first place.
And that, needless to say, is the risk. It is very possibly a
hopeless task, but at least we can force them to start."

"Force them? How can you force them to meet?
And even if you manage that, how can you force them to agree…on
anything at all, let alone a concerted action to modify the human
animal into a creature capable of peaceful coexistence?"

"Not you, Peter, we. And the answer to your
question is
fear
. As you have more than once made extremely
clear, your species is incapable of agreeing on more or less
anything. Discord, hostility and constant arguing or violence are
integral components of the nature of your species. Consequently, at
this initial stage, the members of your species need to be
forced
to agree with each other. And fear is the only
instrument capable of achieving that. The concept of fear, unlike
love, honor, truth and so on, is the one emotion that they can all
understand and agree upon together, because it applies to each and
every one of them individually. Fear affects their selfish interest
in their own individual self-preservation. Fear, as your Peter
Scholl-Latour once wrote, is the main prerequisite for
survival."

"You seem, Jeremy," I said, "to place great
faith in fear. How do you know we will not just be laughed at?"

Jeremy put his elbows on the table, folded
his hands, placed them under his chin, gave me one of his smiles,
and then proceeded in a pleasant but seemingly bored intonation,
for all the world as if he were teaching a Psychology I class for
teenagers. "Because we are going to implant
real fear
into
their minds, Peter. Fear is the strongest of all of the emotions in
existence, and that holds true for all of the universe’s life
forms. It is the prime instinct responsible for ensuring the
survival of a species."

"How about love?" I asked.

He tilted his head and sighed in an amused
sort of way. "My research to date shows me that you all interpret
that word differently. And in any event, there are too many cases
of what you call love which in fact are of the 'if you love me,
then I will love you' variety, and if you don’t, I won’t. And when
that happens, as it often enough does, the so-called love can even
turn into blind hatred. Or else the emotion simply disappears as if
it had never been. Forget it, Peter."

"Well, maybe. I know what you mean.
Certainly there are plenty of us who think of love as a kind of
temporary illness for which there are several easy cures. Marriage
being one of them for example.”

“Ha. Good one, Peter!” beamed Jeremy.

“And the actress Romy Schneider once said
that there is nothing as cold as a love which has died. So perhaps
the word
love
merely defines a temporary idea. But who
knows? Anyway Jeremy, how about sex? Now that is one hell of an
instinct, you have to admit."

"Not really, Peter, it can't compete with
fear. If I were to tell you that you had to choose between living a
life without sex, or being tortured to death this evening, I know
which one you would choose. Fear easily wins the day, as it always
did way back in the day. Fear is what ensured the survival of your
primeval lizards in their almost un-survivable environment."

I nodded, point taken.

"But we need to apply collective fear. And
in order to apply collective fear, we will first of all need to
bring your most powerful birdbrains together. And we need to start
by convincing one of them, or rather scaring one of them, into
undertaking that attempt. And I suggest that the prime minister of
your country, the U.K., would be the easiest one to reach for this
purpose. And that alone will be difficult enough. And that is where
you come in."

This fantasy game was going too far. I
didn't need this extra hassle. Nor did I need the unmistakable risk
of embarrassment which might result. I had no desire to make a
laughing stock out of myself at this elevated level. At any level
in fact, I have my pride. Just like you or anyone else. And
embarrassment might not be the only thing I would have to deal
with. So…I am not interested. Not at all. Unless of course…unless
there is sufficient money in it, more than he is offering. We are
all potential prostitutes on this planet, not just the females or
the pretty boys.

"I am sorry, Jeremy," I said, "but I am not
interested. I am not going to become involved in this."

"Because you don't believe a word and you
are therefore concerned about the embarrassment," he said. "And the
amount I have mentioned is insufficient to compensate you for that.
So…how much?"

"Jeremy, you already know that I don't
believe this…this whole scenario. And I really do not wish to
involve myself any further."

"And if I guarantee there will be no
embarrassment for you? How much?"

"Can you really guarantee me that?" Not that
I was really interested. But for the right amount, and with some of
it in advance just in case, sure I would do it.

He didn't say anything, he just put his head
to one side and smiled his round-faced smile at me. Well, O.K.,
he's right, he has never given me reason to doubt his word. Even
so, it has to be a lot of money, every prostitute has his or her
price.

"Double the current agreement," I said.

"Double?"

Yes," I said. "We are currently agreed on
€600,000 of which a third has already been paid. So it would be the
same amount again with a third in advance."

"You know," said Jeremy with a quizzical
look, "if you really knew how serious this situation was, and if
you believed in it, you would be doing it for nothing."

"Jeremy, you are probably, as usual, quite
correct on that."

"Well, I am not prepared to comply with your
suggestion, Peter. There are limits and moral principles from my
side of the fence which I am not prepared to breach. I will offer
an additional €400,000 making the total a round million, and I will
advance you €100,000 of that as a further token of trust. Take it
or leave it. And if you leave it, no ill feelings. But we would not
be continuing with our interviews because, as I am sure you
understand, I would need to find someone else to undertake the task
and it would be best for him or her to be the person who at the
same time helps me finish my thesis work."

“Dissertation work.” I smiled.

“Dissertation work; my apologies again,
Peter.”

Oh, oh. This could possibly mean a few
hundred thousand down the drain for me. Well… hard bargainers are
hard bargainers and Jeremy is a hard bargainer. And we have to
accept that.

"You are a hard bargainer, Jeremy," I said,
"and you are a good psychologist. A penny less and I wouldn't do
it. Seriously; I wouldn’t. But you probably know that already, you
probably calculated things to a very fine degree. So yes…fair
enough…agreed."

He laughed, a real, genuine laugh. "I am not
a hard bargainer at all, Peter, as you must know if only you think
about it. On top of the interviews, this latest arrangement will
only involve you in two or three additional meetings with the
police and perhaps some politicians, and hopefully you will be
instrumental in achieving a meeting for me with the prime minister
himself. You will be earning a whole million for, forgive me for
saying so, doing relatively little. And, as you yourself have just
said, I call that fair enough."