That Which Should Not Be (4 page)

Part II

Chapter

5

Jack:

I was, if you don’t mind me sayin’, not much older than you, I guess.  Maybe even younger, by the look of you.  I was a fur man by trade, as my father was before me, and as his father before him, all the way back to when my ancestors came from the old country.  They were Huguenots, they were.  Fled from one persecution to the next.  I guess it was only fitting they should find a home in the woods and the wilds. 

I had learned the trade from my father, but this was to be my first time on my own, as much as I ever would be.  You may not know this, but a fur man never travels alone.  We work in teams, you see.  Trackers and trappers, a man who is handy with a pot and some pans and, if he is worth anything, a hammer and saw.  Even a doctor if, per chance, we could find one. 

I was in Monterey in those days, a wild bit of country in the Birkshires. There were to be five of us on that trip. The leader was Tom, a big man who looked like he was cut from marble.  Tom was a friend of my father’s from back in their wilder days, and he had agreed to take me on that trip as his apprentice. 

Then, there was Dr. Stanley.  We never knew if he was a real doc or not, but he had a reputation in the hill country as a man who could be counted on and knew how to treat a fever or a sickness.  And, he could fix a wagon.  We hauled one behind us as we went.  We’d skin the animals as we caught them and, then, line that thing with as many pelts as we could carry.  Once the supplies ran out and the wagon was full, we’d make our way back to the outposts along the rivers.  But that was always the worst part of the trip.  Wheel would break, wagon would get stuck.  Without a man who knew his way around some carpentry, we would be lost.  I had some of that knowledge, but the doc was the best with a knife, whether he was cutting on a man or a pine board. 

Andrew was another trapper, a skinny fellow, that one.  He struck me as a bit skittish straightaway, and I marked him as a man you couldn’t trust.  Joe was our scout.  He was a bit of a mystery.  He was a tracker by trade, though he could probably trap better than the rest of us, too.  They said he was part Indian; I never learned the truth of that.  He died too soon.  And he was quiet.  Spoke barely a word. 

And then there was Travis.  Travis was an experienced hand.  He knew the woods, knew the secret paths, the dark places where the best fur would hide.  There was something about that man, something missing from his eyes.  I know that sounds strange.  But that's what I felt.  Like he was empty somehow.  But Tom wanted him.  Between Tom and Andrew, Travis, and me, we had a pretty good team goin'.  There were no doubts we would make good coin on that trip.  And so I guess we got a little wild, as men like us were wont to do.  On the night before we were supposed to leave, the wine, the whiskey, and the rum flowed hard and fast. 

Tom had a rule on the trail — no liquor, no exceptions.  It bein' the last night in town, I guess we drank a little more than we should.  There was a girl who worked the bar that evening, an Indian girl.  Travis watched her all night long.  She was shy and a tiny bit of nothin'.  Dark haired and dark skinned.  Young, no more than 16, I’d wager.  Every time she’d walk by, Travis would grab her, pull her to him, tell her she was “a pretty little thing.”

It boils my blood to even think about it.  There was a sickness in his voice then, a nasty, godless quality.  Depraved, he was.  Just depraved.

  Anyway, she obliged him at first, as any good girl in that trade would.  But then it was too much even for someone who made her money off men like Travis.  She began to struggle, to try and get away.  Andy told him — that’s what we called Andrew — Andy told him to leave her alone.  Travis just glared at him.  He scared me, then, with that look.  I wanted no part of that. 

I left the bar and found Tom outside, smoking his tobacco.  There was the hint of coming snow that day, but it wasn’t cold. 

“You ready for tomorrow?” he asked between puffs.  I wasn’t really sure.  I had only gone with my father before, never with anyone I didn’t know. 

“Sure, I am,” I said, mustering as much confidence in my voice as I could manage. 

“Good, I’m going to need you,” he said.  He didn't say how or why.  I simply nodded.  I had learned not to question men like Tom too often, and then to ask only the questions that really needed answerin'.  But I'd be lyin' if I didn't say there was something about that night that scared me.  I don't know how I knew it then, but the trip already felt foul, as if it was marked from the beginning. 

I stumbled through the darkness, the haze of the whiskey thick on my brain.  I don't know how long passed before I found my way to my bunk, but I do know my head had barely hit the pillow when I was asleep. 

I had strange dreams that night, nightmares filled with flashes of light and thunder.  I was in the forest, but I was alone.  I still remember, even as I was dreaming, that I was struck by my own loneliness.  “Never trap alone.”  That was my father’s cardinal rule.  But there I was, without another soul in sight.  It was a familiar forest, and I felt I knew it, but in that familiarity there was also great fear, as if something wasn't quite right.  The forest was like Travis’s eyes.  It was missing something, something basic and good.  It was quiet, too.  A stillness as unnatural as it was complete.  Nothing moved there.  Nothing. 

And then it was night.  I can’t explain it, but just as suddenly as you could strike a match, the sun vanished from the sky.  Darkness and silence.  Isolation, loneliness.  Those were the things that overwhelmed me.  But there was a voice in my head, too. 

“Steady on Jack, steady on.  You have a job to do.  If you don’t finish it, no one will.” 

And so I began to move.  But then came the thunder.  Then came the light.  It roared and flashed throughout the wood, and it was all the more horrible because of the silence it shattered.  Then a single roar over all others — the screeching of a bird, a great and terrible beast unlike any flying thing you ever saw.  A great black shadow covered me so thick even the flashes of lightning couldn’t lift it. 

I woke, then, drenched in sweat, screaming.  I sat bolt upright in my bed.  Joe was sitting across from me, just a-starin’, his black Indian eyes as impenetrable as the meaning of my dream. 

“What did you see?” he asked.  If he had spoken a word to me before that moment, it’s not one I remember. 

“Nothin’.  Just a dream,” I said. 

“No dream.  What did you see?” he asked again, this time more forcefully.  He scared me, but I wasn’t going to relive that, no matter what he did. 

So I just said, “I told you, nothin’.” 

I’m old enough now to know something I didn’t know then — an angry man, or a scared man, he’s liable to turn in a moment.  To snap, as they say.  And Joe snapped then.  He leapt from his bunk clear across the room to mine and grabbed me around the throat.  His mouth made sounds, but if they were words I could understand, I sure as Hell didn't then.  I think he would have killed me.  Well, I damn sure know he would have killed me, but then I felt him fly away from me.  I looked up and through my near-on blacked out eyes I saw Tom sling Joe across the room like he was a bag of dirty laundry. 

“Enough!” I remember he thundered like Zeus himself.  “You two get your gear.  We’ve already overstayed our welcome here.”  There was anger in his face, but I knew despite my youth that it wasn’t directed at us.  He stood there for a moment longer and, then, turned to go, saying, “Be at the wagon in five minutes.”

Three minutes later I emerged into the morning sun.  Tom was at the wagon with Dr. Stanley loading the last bit of supplies.  Travis was there, too, sitting on the buckboard smoking a rolled cigar.  He was smirking, and like everything else Travis did, there was no joy there.  Just a cruel, cold sneer.  Joe and I walked over together, but I kept my distance.  Whatever had come over him earlier, now he was as implacable as the grave. That same flat, stone-faced look I guess he always wore.  I could see Tom and Travis were talking, and I could tell it wasn’t a pleasant conversation. 

“Damn it, Travis!” I heard him say.  “You’re bringing bad luck on us, bad luck already.”

I heard Travis curse in response.  “I make my on luck, Captain,” he growled in that toneless voice of his.  Where he was from, I didn’t know, and his voice didn’t betray it, either.  I just knew it was a place I didn’t want to visit. 

“That’s right Travis, you do,” Tom replied.  “And that’s the fear, isn’t it?” 

I didn’t know what they were on about, but I was sure it had something to do with Tom’s sudden desire to get out of that place as soon as he could.  I loaded up my gear in silence and climbed aboard.  Joe and the doc followed.  Andy skulked about, doing his best to stay invisible.  It was his way, I guess.  Tom had the reins of the horses, and we were about to leave.  I suppose, if we had been a little quicker, I might not be sitting here today.  But that’s the way of the world, right?  For just as Tom was about to lead us out of that place, there was a shriek, a howl really.  It stopped us dead in our tracks.  Then, it turned to a word.

“You!” it thundered.  We turned as one, turned and saw an old Indian woman, older than I am now I would suppose.  She had that little girl from the pub by the arm and was dragging her along behind her.  But she wasn’t pretty then, probably wouldn’t be pretty for a long time after that.  Her face was shattered. That’s about the only way to put it.  Her lips were busted, and her cheeks bruised.  One eye was so swollen she couldn’t have opened it for King Phillip himself.  She was crying, though.  I guess that must have hurt quite a bit. 

I gaped at her, mouth as open as it could be.  I had never seen nothing like it.  I followed the old woman’s eyes to Travis.  He didn’t look shocked.  He just sat there and smiled, smiled that same awful smirk he always had.  This was nothing to him.  Tom just looked from the woman to Travis and struck the horses.  He didn’t take his eyes off of the road until we were clear out of town.  But the woman didn’t stop.  She dragged that girl until they were running alongside the wagon. 

“You did this!” she screamed at Travis in a thickly veiled tongue I could barely understand.  Travis just smiled even broader and shrugged his shoulders.  Then, the woman threw the girl to the ground and pointed at Travis.  I couldn’t understand some of her words, and I have come to believe they weren’t all English.  But I did hear one sentence, the most important one. 

“A hex on you, you black-hearted beast. The Wendigo will have you.  He will have you yet!”

Travis chuckled.  And that was it.  The wagon rolled along, and we sat in silence except for the creaking of the wheels and the crinkling of the tobacco in Travis’s cigar as his breath ignited it.  I looked around the wagon. Tom was emotionless.  Doc Stanley was not as disciplined a man, and if Travis had cared to look he would have seen a snarl of disgust on his face.  Andy just looked scared.  But it was Joe that interested me the most.  He looked off through the forest, peering really, and mumbled to himself. 

Despite our earlier encounter, my curiosity got the better of me.  I reached across the wagon and tapped Joe on the shoulder.  He spun around, and when he looked at me, I knew the face of terror. 

His skin was ashen, his dark hair drenched with sweat.  The eyes were the worst, though.  They were opened wide, pupils as big as saucers.  He grabbed me on the shoulders. 

“He will come for us now!” he screamed.  It was as if he had gone mad.  Out of the corner of my eye, I saw movement. Travis landed a swift kick right to Joe’s midsection. 

“Shut it, you damn fool,” he spat.  “Superstitious bullshit, that is.  There ain’t nothing out here but what we're gonna kill.  Should have left you behind with the rest of your kind.”

“Silence!” Tom yelled, the veins in his neck beginning to throb.  “One day in, and I don’t need this!” 

Travis leaned back and returned to his cigar.  Joe just rocked back in forth in the floor of the wagon, while Andy looked the worst of the group.  We rumbled along, deeper into the woods.  We didn’t stop till night fall that day.  When I felt it was safe to speak, I moved quietly over to Andy who still looked as though the fear of God was in him. 

“You alright?” I asked. 

“No,” Andy spat.  “And you ain’t either.  You’re just too stupid to know it.”

I let it pass.  “What’s wrong?  What was Joe all up about?”

Andy looked at me with terror-filled eyes and said, “The Wendigo.” 

Chapter

6

For the second time that day I heard a word that had never met my ears in my previous 18 years of life. 

“What,” I began to ask, swallowing deeply before I continued, “is the Wendigo?”

The voice that answered me was not Andy’s.  It was deeper, stronger.  I turned to see Joe had pulled himself up and leaned against the side of the wagon.  Whatever panic had covered him before now seemed to vanish as he spoke.  His voice was melodic.  On the surface it was steady and firm, but I sensed the fear still lurking beneath its seemingly calm waters. 

“The Wendigo,” he began, “is the whisper in the darkness, the voice in the night.  He is the wind that shakes the forest, the thunder in the blizzard, the lightning flash that follows.  The Wendigo is death.”

Andy whimpered audibly and then curled himself into a tightly wound ball.  I looked from him back to Joe’s now-bloodless face.  Then Doc Stanley interrupted. 

“All superstition and myth,” he said. “None of it’s true.”  He cut his eyes to Joe and in that look there was a none-too-subtle command to end this talk now.  The forest is no place to lose your head.  Joe, however, did not keep his peace.

“No myth,” he said.  “My ancestors came to this land long ago, and they brought with them wisdom that your kind has long since forgot. Our histories speak of a book, more ancient than man, written in a language that all can read.  In that book is the legend of the Wendigo.

“Long ago, before the age of man, there walked this Earth a race whose name is now lost to us, if it was ever known.  My people speak of them.  These are the Great Old Ones, creatures of legend who for eons ruled the forests and the plains, the sea and even the sky from whence they came.  Some say they were gods, but I do not believe it.  They were cruel and cold-hearted.  They reveled in pain and their hearts were filled with hate.  The world was covered in darkness then, and if men had been there to see their cruelty, the agony of it would still be burned into our memory, even now. 

“There was one who ruled over them all, one who made them and formed them.  We do not speak his name, and I will not speak it here.  The Old Ones were his spawn, and thousands they were, but he loved one above all others — a daughter, Lilitu.  Lilitu was as beautiful as she was depraved.  She gave herself freely to her brothers, the sons of the dark one.  But unto one of her kin, Witiko, he who lusted for her most fiercely, she refused.  As his desire burned within him, Lilitu mocked Witiko until finally he took her by force.  But it was all part of her ploy, you see, all part of her game.  She went to her father and cried out for his vengeance on Witiko.  In a mockery of all that is holy, Witiko was brought before his father to face his ‘justice.’  Witiko was not killed.  Instead he was stripped of his authority and power on this Earth, stripped even of his name. 

’You shall be Wendigo,’ his father roared.  ‘You shall walk the Earth alone.  Off it you shall gain no sustenance.  You shall eat of neither the plants of the forest nor the plain, nor of the animals that now swarm about us.  Pain will be all that you know.’ 

And so the Wendigo was banished from his brethren, and in pain and darkness he traveled the land, his skin stretched tight over his bones, his hunger burning as bright as his hate.  But the age of the Old Ones passed, and only the Wendigo remained.  A new creature arose then, one that had not been refused to the Wendigo, one unknown to his father.  This was man, and he the Wendigo could eat.  Since then, the Wendigo has haunted the north woods, devouring whomever he finds as prey.  From him, the Wendigo takes his knowledge and his skill, but never gains sustenance, never fills his hunger, never quenches his hate.  This is the Wendigo, and now, he comes for us.”

“Bah!” Doc Stanley spat.  “No more of this!  There is no Wendigo.”

“What of the stories then?” Andy muttered through his creeping fear.

“A disease of the mind,” the doctor responded matter-of-factly.

“Wait,” I said, breaking my silence for the first time, “you mean to tell me there is some truth to this?”  Until that moment, Joe’s ravings, though frightening in their power, struck me as nothing more than a myth from the old days.  But now the doctor appeared to give them some weight. 

“Well,” the doctor replied, stuttering, “the legend, such that it is — absurdities all, of course — is not merely that the Wendigo devours his victims.  You see . . .” He paused then, studying his hands.  “Oh, it’s rubbish.  We shouldn’t talk any more of this.”

“He takes you,” Joe interjected.  “His spirit is strong, stronger than yours.  But his body was imprisoned long ago, along with all the Old Ones.  They speak to us only in dreams now.  But the curse gave the Wendigo power beyond even theirs.  But though he lives, he must take the form of a man to partake of this world.  Whomever he takes is doomed to feast upon the flesh of his brothers, to watch through eyes that are no longer his as the Wendigo devours all before him.”

“It’s a mental defect,” the doctor spat, showing both his own frustration but also a hint of doubt.  “Certain of the Indian tribes around these parts are known to succumb to it.  To explain their sudden insanity and . . . cannibalism, the legend of the Wendigo was invented.  That is all. These are mad men and nothing more.  And if you persist in this kind of talk, we are liable to lose our own minds over these next few months.”

I suppose it might have gone on like that for a few more hours, but at that moment Tom pulled the wagon to a stop.  We had arrived at the first of our campsites.  The next few hours of work made us forget quickly about the curse that had been laid upon us, about the Wendigo.  But as I lay in my tent that night, I couldn’t help but hear whispers on the wind as the first snows of winter began to fall in earnest.

*   *   *

Without notice our duties consumed us.  The life of the men of the forest is not one of leisure.  As the air grew colder, the work got harder.  I was used to a more lenient taskmaster — my father.  But Tom was relentless.  He was the best in the western woods, no doubting that.  But there was a growing gloom above us as well, and as the moon waxed brighter, as a steel-gray curtain of clouds rose, and as the icy cold wind cut through our tents and our clothes, it was clear to all that the season’s worst was near. 

“We should close up early tonight,” Tom said.  He had a wary eye on the dim light of the setting sun.  It was an hour yet until twilight, but thick clouds had rendered it night already.  “Everyone, make sure everything is double secure tonight.  Trust me when I say night in a snowstorm is no time to try and pitch a tent.”

Tom’s point was well taken, but it was advice we didn’t need.  We had already begun the work and were well underway before the first burst of snow.  Joe was our cook, but he had a hard time getting anything together that night.  The winds and the snow were such that the fire would barely stay lit, no matter how much wood we fed it. 

We bedded down early.  I stood at the opening of my tent and watched as the snow began to fall in ever greater quantities.  I glanced back at the dying fire and saw Joe still sat at its edge.  The waning embers did not give much light, but he had drawn near to their warmth, and the rays that remained illuminated his face.  Perhaps it was the light or the shadow or the snow, but I noticed for the first time that Joe had aged over the past few weeks.  The lines were deeper, the skin more leathery and pulled taut across his face.  His eyes were simply empty.  There was no fear, no worry, just nothing, a cold resignation that frightened me more than anything else possibly could.  That may sound strange, but I know no other way to describe it. 

They say man is an animal, and that may be so.  But most men don’t know nature.  They are like you, my young friend.  They live in the world of the city, and when they come to the wild it is for leisure and peace.  They do not see the cold killer lurking in the darkness, the hunter red in tooth and claw.  But we saw it that night.

The blizzard came hard and fast, falling upon us like the eagle strikes its prey.  I lay listening as the wind buffeted my tent, and the snow struck its sides like grapeshot fired from a distant cannon.  I know I slept that night, as strange and unbelievable as it might sound.  Yes, the work had exhausted me, but my senses were so heightened, my fear so deep, that sleep should never have come.  I was as a man taken by opium, and my eyes grew heavy, my mind grew cloudy, and I drifted in and out of consciousness. 

I cannot know how much of what I remember was real or imagined.  But I heard things that night.  Not just the wind or the snow.  It started with a howl, a low and distant whine.  I wasn’t sure it was there at first, thought it might just be something from a dream.  Soon it was joined by another and another.  It was as if all the wolves in the western wood had suddenly been called to a common purpose.

But it wasn’t the howl itself that sent a chill through my bones.  No, it was the message of that call.  It was pain and fear from an animal that rarely knew either.  At one moment the sound was all about, as if we were surrounded.  Then just as quickly it seemed to be coming from within my own mind.  And then it changed, my God, did it change.  No more the call of a wild dog.  Now it was the pitiful cry of a woman.  So deep was her anguish, so terrible.  As if the world had been taken from her, as if a child had been ripped from her bosom and slaughtered before her very eyes.  Oh, the pain in that cry.  But it was not the worst I heard, no, not at all.  Vile sounds followed, sounds that are beyond my meager education to describe, but I wager the greatest poet in the world couldn’t write a line for them.  Demon haunted the forest was that night, and in my dreams, I heard and felt the darkest and foulest beast that ever gibbered its wail from the depths of the pit. 

There was thunder that followed lightning, the mark of a summer storm in the heart of winter.  In those flashes of light, I saw figures outlined against the thin skin of my tent, figures that danced outside my vision.  And then, even in the night, even in the darkness, a shadow fell upon me, that of a great bird, a flying beast never before seen on this earth by the eyes of man.  Its cry rent the night air, and in that moment my mind snapped, and I sunk into blessed black oblivion. 

*   *   *

I awoke the next morning to the brilliant, blinding light of the morning sun shining through my now open tent.  Outlined in its gleam was Doc Stanley.  If the bitter night had shaken him, the blank expression on his face did little to reveal it. 

“Get up,” he commanded.  “Joe is missing.”  And with that, he turned and was gone. 

I pulled on boots and rushed outside to find the entire campsite covered in snow.  I remembered the wolves and immediately walked around to the back of my tent.  I expected to find paw prints, fur, something.  But there was only snow, thick and as untouched as a lamb that had never been sheered.  I told myself it had been all a dream or that, at worst, the snow had covered whatever markings the beasts had left behind.  I told myself that, but even in those early days I didn’t believe it. 

Then I heard my name.  It was Tom.  I walked back to the center of the campsite to find the entire group gathered around the spot where the fire had been before.  Tom was serious, Doc Stanley’s expression remained as impenetrable as the grave, and Andy looked like he wanted to crawl into a hole and hide.  Travis merely seemed irritated. 

“What’s going on?” I asked.

Tom sighed and said, “Joe’s gone.  He should have been up making breakfast by now, but he never even started the fire.”

“Maybe he needed some wood,” I offered. 

“We cut some yesterday,” Doc Stanley replied.  I knew this.  I had helped break it up. 

“Maybe something was wrong with it.”  Tom sighed again, and I saw Doc cast a weary look his way.  When Tom didn’t speak, Doc Stanley did. 

“He didn’t go for wood,” Stanley said.  “His tent is empty, and there are no footprints.  No footprints anywhere.  Not going to it, not going away.  Nothing.  It’s like . . .” Andy whimpered, and for a second Doc Stanley paused.  He looked at him with less contempt than I expected and then said, “It’s like Joe disappeared.  Just up and vanished.  We looked in his tent.  Everything is in place.  Nothing messed up, nothing broken.  And, nothing taken.  It looks like he just walked out of camp with nothing but the clothes on his back.” 

“Oh, God,” Andy stammered, “Joe knew this trip was trouble.  Knew it was trouble from the start.  And now it’s got him.”

Doc Stanley jerked his head towards Andy and fixed him with one of the most hate-filled gazes I’ve ever seen. 

“Who’s got him?” Tom asked.

“The Wendigo!” Andy cried, oblivious to Doc Stanley. 

“Oh, not this rubbish,” Doc Stanley said as he turned and walked towards his tent. 

“Look.”  Now it was Travis’s time to talk.  “Ain’t nobody here who put any stock in Joe.  I don’t even know why you brought him along,” he spat, pointing a long narrow finger at Tom.  “He was always liable to run off, and now he has.  He probably left last night.  He probably got spooked by the storm and struck off into the woods.  The snow covered his tracks, and he’s gone.  If the wolves haven’t gotten him, the snow damn sure did.  He’s probably buried under three feet of it now.”

“You heard the wolves too?” I asked instinctively.