That Boy (4 page)

“Why don't
I
take you shopping tomorrow night? And if we find a dress, I'll take you to Johnny's for pizza.”

I was really amazed by this development because Dad has told me for years that he is allergic to shopping. Advil must help his
shopping allergies
because he took three before we left the house.

Surprisingly, Dad and I did find something for me to wear to graduation. First, we went to the junior's section at a department store Katie recommended. I tried on a bunch of dresses, but Dad vetoed them all as
too sexy
, so we continued our search. I kinda liked the black one he thought was wayyyy too sexy, but I was hungry, so I didn't argue. Katie also told me to try the Gap, so we did, and I really need to thank that girl because that was
very
helpful advice. I found a pretty eyelet skirt and a really cute top. During our whole shopping trip, Dad only held his head in his hands and muttered things to himself twice, so it was a good experience for him too, I think. And now, I am actually excited for graduation.

Right now I'm getting some snacks together to take out to the tent.

“Phillip, come help me!” I yell across the street, as I struggle to carry everything.

Phillip runs over and grabs two grocery sacks full of candy and snacks from my arms. I'm left with just the big bowl of warm buttered popcorn. As I'm following Phillip across the street, Danny comes out of his garage carrying a cooler.

“Why do you look so sneaky?” I ask him, as we meet up in the street.

Danny looks just like he did the night we decorated the Mackenzie's trees with Ashley's underwear. At first, Ashley, who was sixteen at the time, laughed like she didn't care, but that was before she realized Phillip had sent a heads up email to everyone in her address book. She was completely horrified when all her friends, boys included, started driving by her house and honking at her lacy bras and panties.

Danny's got something up his sleeve, I can tell.

“I'll tell you later, just act normal in case my parents are watching.”

Later, after we'd eaten most of the snacks and are playing cards, Danny opens the cooler and says, “How bout we have some fun tonight?” Then he pulls three cans of beer out from underneath the pop.

Phillip, who I figured would tell us exactly what a bad idea this is because he tends to be the most conservative of the three of us, says, to my surprise, “Hell, yeah.”

So of course, I say, “Sounds awesome.”

We open our beers and Danny cheers, “Here's to the good life.”

I'm pretty sure he heard that on a commercial.

We drink up. A few hours and few beers later, we're basically drunk. Good thing our parents are already in bed.

See. I told you
things
could happen out here before bedtime.

The boys and I talk about who likes who and who doesn't like who, all the gossip. We don't know the answers to these questions, but we talk and laugh anyway. Then we share the last beer.

Actually, I was smart and only pretended to drink from it.

We are laughing and laughing when the boys start telling me about how they wake up in the morning with hard,
you know whats
. So I say,
well that's nothing,
and proceed to tell them in gory detail all about a period.

I ask them why they are so obsessed with girls who have big boobs, and they want to know why girls only like guys taller than them.

Later that night, Danny and Phillip puked their guts out.

I earned honors because I didn't.

Of course, I felt terrible the next day, but I will
never
admit it.

Three days until my first real date. I am so excited!

I am also a paranoid, nervous wreck.

I like this boy so much! His name is Ryan. Ryan Marshall. Ryan is
so
good looking, and he's a SENIOR! He reminds Katie and me of Jake, from the movie,
Sixteen Candles
. I know, it's an old movie and the clothes are weird, but it's still funny and romantic and is worth watching
just
to
lust
after Jake. Lisa, Katie, and I all rank Jake in the Top 25 on our lists of All Time Movie Hotties.

So how does this sound?

JJ Marshall.

Jadyn Marshall.

Jadyn James Reynolds-Marshall.

Mrs. Ryan Marshall.

Doesn't that just roll off your tongue?

Speaking of tongues, they are the main reason I'm a nervous wreck. Ryan is a senior and well, sadly, I'm not all that experienced with boys. I mean, I'm a freshman and have been to dances with boys my age and even have
gone out
with boys, but I've never
really
kissed them. Not like I hope to kiss Ryan anyway.

Bobby Robinson did shove his tongue into my mouth one time, when we were kissing under the bleachers at a football game, but it didn't feel so good. I'm pretty sure he didn't have it exactly right.

So I talked to my friends, Katie and Lisa, about how to properly make out.

But, well, here is just a bit of their
unhelpful
advice.

Just let him take the lead, do what ever he does.

Um, couldn't that get me into a lot of trouble?

Just sort of kiss his tongue, but try not to drool.

Don't open your mouth too wide.

And then,
Just open your mouth wide.

See?

Stupid, conflicting information.

And this from girls who
supposedly
know how to do this!

I feel like I'm an undercover CIA agent trying to wrestle vital information out of a ruthless double agent, and the fate of the free world depends upon it. All the while, the President is yelling at me in a panic, saying,
Somebody! Anybody! Just get me the truth!

You know, this is really the kind of stuff that it would be helpful to learn in health class. Much more useful information than knowing how a fallopian tube works or what kinds of cancer I can fight by adding fiber to my diet.

I mean, this date is of
EPIC
proportions.

He's a senior for God's sake!

My high school reputation could be ruined or made in one single night.

I don't want to be known as a terrible kisser!

Or Worse! Totally Inexperienced!

I've got to do something.

Get me somebody, anybody!

I need someone who has experience and, most importantly, who will
help
me.

I glance out my window and see Danny's bedroom light is on.

Ch-Ching.

Danny has experience, and I'm too desperate to be embarrassed.

So I call him. “Danny, are your parents home?”

“No, they went to that parents' meeting at school with yours.”

Yay!

“Good. I'm coming over. And you're, like, totally alone? Phillip isn't there, is he?”

“No, I'm totally alone. What's up, Jay?”

“Um, I just really,
really
need your help with something. Be right there.”

I slam down the phone, run out of my house and over to his. I barge in the front door and take the stairs two at a time up to his bedroom. He's sitting on his bed with a varsity football playbook spread out in front of him. I can tell by the intense look on his face, he has been studying hard. Danny's goal is to be the best high school quarterback in the state and then play for the Nebraska Cornhuskers. Lets just say, he is well on his way to achieving his goals.

“Hey, Jay,” he says, straightening up, “what's the top secret meeting all about?”

Maybe this was a bad idea.

No. You've got to find this stuff out.

It's vital to our country's well being!

Okay, that's a bit dramatic, but it is vital to
my
well being.

I pace the length of his room a couple of times, wringing my hands together, trying to get my nerve up. “Okay, here it is. I need your help and well, I'm kind of embarrassed to say it, but here goes. I have that date with Ryan on Saturday, and Danny, I'm afraid I won't know what to do. I mean I've never
done it
before, and I'm not exactly sure how. I don't even know if he'll
want
to do it with me
, but I'm hoping that he will and well, I want to, you know,
be prepared
. So I need you to help me, Danny. Will you show me what to do?”

Danny stares at me in disbelief.

“This is a joke, right?” he laughs, gets off the bed, and looks down the hall. “Where's Phillip hiding?”

“No, Danny, I'm serious. I mean if you can't
show me
, could you at least
tell me
if I know how to do it right?”

“Let me get this right, Jay. You want me to
show you
how to have
sex
?” He has a huge goofball grin on his face. “Wow. Well, I suppose that could be arrang….”

“
WAIT!
WHAT??!! Sex! Danny, what are you talking about?
”

“What are
you
talking about, Jay? You're the one who said you've never
done it
and that you want me to
show you
.”

“
I never said that!
” Well, wait a minute, maybe I sorta did. “I mean if I did say it, it's not what I meant.”

Now he's staring at me like I'm psycho.

Probably, I am.

“Shit, Danny, the truth is, I've never really made out.” There, I said it. “And I
really
,
really
, need to know how to do it right. I can't seem to get reliable information from my friends, I can't ask my parents, Ashley's at college, so you're my only hope,” I whine.

He continues the stone faced look at me.

“I thought you made out with Bobby?”

“Yeah, I did, and it was awful. AND I DON'T WANNA BE AWFUL!!!!”

Then I change directions in my thinking, trying to figure out a way to get him to teach me. So I say with a challenge, “Hmm, well maybe you can't do it, that's okay, I'll just go ask Phillip for help.”

“Hell, no,” he growls. “He has about as much experience in that department as you do. Fine. I'll help you.” He puts his hand up to his chin, thinking. “Hmmm. Come sit down.”

I sit cross-legged on his bed, facing him.

“Here. Take this.” He throws his pillow at me.

Ooh. Yum. It smells just like him.

But, uh, excuse me. I've already tried practicing on my pillow, and it was NO help!

“No, that won't work.” He quickly snatches the musky thing away from me. “Too big. I know, hold your hand up to your face,” he orders. “Kiss it.”

I look at him like he's nuts, but he shakes his head yes, so I hold my palm up in front of my face and push my lips into it.

“Turn sideways a bit, so I can see better,” he bosses, so I turn. “Okay, but your puckering is
way
too tight. You're not kissing your grandma, Jay.”

“No, worse,” I gripe, “I'm kissing my hand.”

He glares at me. I think I had better just do as he says.

“Just loosen your lips. Try again.”

This time I pucker my lips, but then try to make them loose. I glance over at him, my eyebrows raised in hope.

“Alright, now slightly open your mouth.”

I try to slightly open my mouth. “This feels ridiculous.”

“Hmm, is this
really
that important to you?”

“Uh, ye-ah. He's a
senior
! My entire reputation is at stake here.”

“Hmm, well okay then.” He jumps off his bed, shuts and locks his door, and turns off the light. There's plenty of light coming through his window from the streetlight, so I can still see him. But I must appear slightly alarmed because he says, “Look, I just don't want anyone walking in on this.”

He looks at me like he's a soldier being sent off to war, and I should be proud of his bravery and selflessness.

Actually, I am.

“Plus, you need to relax. Maybe in the dark you won't feel so stupid.” He plops back down on his bed next to me and continues, “Tilt your head slightly to the left.”

I tilt my head.