Thai Girl (37 page)

Over the next two weeks, this was to be Ben's pattern of life; a sunset vigil at one of the huts and eating at Odin's, followed by travellers' tales at a bar along the beach, before collapsing half-dressed onto his mattress in the early hours and sleeping late into the heat of the next day. Though the nightlife was good, the daytimes were sometimes solitary and he could not always forget that he was alone.

After the trip to the North East with Fon, it was hard being apart, made much worse as it was so difficult to keep in contact with her. There were many problems with calling Gaeo's mobile and as Fon did not read English, he became obsessed with finding someone to write a postcard to her in Thai. At first he could not think who could do it for him, but then he had a brainwave. He immediately bought a postcard and envelope and walked to Odin's place. It was mid-afternoon and the Pleasure Dome was almost empty of customers. Odin, in a little white jacket, his long hair in bunches, Bavarian-style, was re-arranging the tables in the restaurant. When Ben anxiously asked him if he would write the postcard, his reply was enigmatic.

‘I finish cooking … fie minute,' he said and disappeared through the kitchen door.

After ten minutes he came back jacket-less, showing off a skimpy top and new hair ribbons. He sat down and looked Ben in the eye.

‘So,' he demanded, ‘you have Thai girlfriend?'

‘Yes, she's called Fon and she's a stunner.'

‘Oh Ben! Ben! Such a waste!' Odin smiled sadly up at him through long lashes.

With a Buona Vista Social Club CD thumping loudly from massive speakers behind them, Ben was now sitting opposite Odin at one of the tables, close enough to see the pink glitter on his cheeks. This was utterly surreal; he was about to share his most intimate feelings with a Thai guy done up as a German tart.

‘Well, Odin, it's one of those things I ought to walk away from, but I can't. I'm sure you know what I mean.'

‘Ben dear, I do, I do,' purred Odin, staring back unblinkingly. ‘So you think you love her?'

‘Of course I love her … it's a really big thing for me.'

‘Ooh yes … I'm sure it's really big! But tell me this, Ben … you think with your head or you think with your dick?'

Ben was flummoxed for a moment.

‘Well … more with my heart, I guess.'

‘Mmm! Most unusual,' murmured Odin. ‘Anyway, what you want me to say to the lady?'

Ben now fervently wished he had jotted something down to work from.

‘Right then … what shall we put? It's not easy … cross-cultural and all that,' he said.

‘No Ben, you playing this game not me.' Odin wagged a long, bony finger at him.

‘Well, let's start with the island. You know, something like, “Dear Fon, Koh Chang's so beautiful. All mountains, jungle, waterfalls, white sand. Miss you like crazy and wish you were here.” You can jazz it up a bit if you like.'

Odin's biro snaked across the card in sinuous Thai script.

“Fon darling, this is the perfect place for lovers like me to do just what I please. There's sun, sea and shells and every passion here on Koh Chang.”

‘Yes,' said Odin, ‘I think she like that.'

‘Then,' said Ben, ‘I want to tell her how I feel about her.'

‘Okay, you tell me. How you feel?'

This was the critical moment. So that he could be heard above the music, Ben leaned closer across the table and declared his love to Odin. ‘“I want to tell you how much I love you and that I want you above all others.”'

Odin silently said a thousand things with a scintilla of a shrug, then without a word glanced down and penned his interpretation in Thai.

“All I want now is to have sex with you. Other women no longer satisfy me and I need you most of all.”

‘So, so romantic!' said Odin. ‘What next, Ben
tirak?'

Ben was now getting into the swing of things.

‘“Fon, I can't live without you and long to have you here with me right now.”'

This time Odin did not start writing but sat bolt upright frowning darkly.

‘Problem, Ben, problem,' he said, brandishing his pen with a limp wrist.

‘What problem?' asked Ben, slightly exasperated.

‘You say too much. She Thai lady! So she turn you down … want more money,' insisted Odin in piping tones.

‘But it's got nothing to do with money,' said Ben appalled. ‘I've just got to tell her how strong my feelings are.'

‘No, Ben! You do that, you lose the game. Trust me, I know … it happen to me.'

‘Okay, you can put in the local subtleties then … but you'd better get it right!' begged Ben.

Without a moment's hesitation Odin was again writing furiously.

“At first it was not true when I said I loved you. But now I miss you, and if you come and stay with me on Koh Chang, I'll love you all night.”

‘Very good,' said Odin. ‘Now she really understand you …
jing jing.
'

‘Please God,' said Ben devoutly.

‘So, Ben, how to finish it off? Something sweet, something original.'

Ben prayed for inspiration.

‘What about this?' he began haltingly. ‘“Fon, I know you were alarmed when I told you I loved you, but I hope you don't mind … I hope you don't mind, if I put down in words, how wonderful life is when you're in the world.”'

‘Good Ben, good. You think of that yourself?'

As Odin finished writing the card, Ben avoided his question.

‘All done then?' he asked. ‘Sure you've got it right, Odin?'

‘Have … hundred percent. Hope you get the lady, Ben. Ooh, I do hope so!'

‘Yeah thanks … but you realise I'm not just into shagging Thai girls. It really goes deeper than that.'

‘Oh, yes, yes!' said Odin sweetly, ‘I'm sure it goes very deep.' He rested his chin on his hands and gazed at Ben, the glitter twinkling on his cheeks.

‘And please end it with, “All my love, Ben”.'

‘Can post it for you too, if you like,' added Odin.

‘Oh wow, Odin, thanks … you're a real regular guy. You will post it soon?'

‘Trust me Ben, you know you can trust me.'

28

Though Ben found enough to do on Koh Chang during the daytime, it was not always easy to be in a place of overwhelming beauty feeling unsettled when everyone around him seemed to be having the time of their lives. He had many good experiences; taking a hired motorcycle to the fishing village on stilts, climbing a rocky watercourse to the waterfalls and best of all swimming with the turtle.

But life had its limitations. As walking even short distances brought on a sweat, he spent his days between his hut, Odin's restaurant and the bars further along the beach, not a mile away. He thought that by now he should be getting more used to sodden fabric on clammy skin and to his underpants damply clinging to the interstices. But even allowing for the heat and the discomfort of cheap living, it was strange to feel low when the light was so brilliant and the surroundings spectacular. His problem was that he could not stop thinking about Fon.

It troubled him that she gave him so many conflicting signals and kept her cards so close to her chest. Although she played her hand with flair, he knew she had few strong cards, her only trump being her looks and personality. This she used to great effect, keeping her distance at times and at others offering him small tokens of affection. She kept him guessing and he had to be satisfied with a smile or a touch on the arm, flirtations that she lavished freely on her customers on the beach. While she dominated him with her consummate charm, he had little idea what emotional hold if any he had over her.

She often kept him waiting, though he was well aware that she too would have to wait for him; he would fly away soon and she could not follow. He knew a lot about her life and had been to her home, but it was far more difficult for her to size him up; he might be just another hedonist hoping for a casual fling. He knew she was vulnerable but still he wanted much more commitment from her.

His own obsession with Fon struck him as being very different to her cool detachment. He remembered how on Koh Samet he had trailed after her, while at times she seemed almost indifferent to him. Perhaps for a Thai woman, he conjectured, a relationship is more a practical matter than a surrender to natural passions; Fon always seemed to say that to fall in love was self-indulgent and dangerous. Whatever the explanation, Ben feared she did not have any strong feelings for him and all he could do was to wallow in painful introspection.

During the long hot days, his next nagging doubt was whether he was just crudely infatuated with an exceptionally lovely girl. He was wildly attracted to Fon, no question, but he tried to persuade himself that the seat of his obsession was not primarily below the belt. Though he knew he was caught between the head, the heart and a hard place, he was convinced his compulsion was liking and love more than lust. He liked Fon's strength and her dignified struggle for her family; his heart made decisions for him and governed his life; and his involuntary member firmly pointed the way ever onwards and upwards. Last, though not least, this was surely not the root cause of his emotional turmoil.

There was too much that Ben still did not understand about Fon and he knew that language was a part of the problem. In an idle moment, he pulled out the Thai language tapes he had bought in Sukhumvit Road, but he found it surprisingly difficult to learn from them. Sitting on his veranda with his Walkman, the tapes drove him mad. He was irrationally irritated by phrases such as, ‘I am buying the dog,' and ‘Excuse me, I think that is my hat'. Did he really need to know the word for desert or alligator when Thailand has neither deserts nor alligators?

Most difficult of all was the five tones used in Thai. The tape told him that the word
‘glai'
can mean either near or far depending on its tone, while the word ‘ma' said with different tones and vowel lengths has seven different meanings. Although he thought he could distinguish the different tones on the tape and repeat them reasonably well, remembering the tone of all the vowels in every single word seemed utterly impossible.

Continuity on the tapes was provided by an exaggerated American voice and he winced as he listened.

For those who love the animal world, here are the Thai words for our animal friends:

Then came an impossible list of verbs.

Ben fast-forwarded the tape and dejectedly pressed the ‘play' button again.

Listen and repeat the following adverbs:

Ben was finding that learning Thai was unbearable, difficult, unpleasant and boring. Defeated, he switched off the tape, leaned back in his chair and stared out to sea. How else could he attack the language problem?

Then he thought of Odin. Surely Odin should be able to help, and perhaps also tell him some of the secrets of the Thai love affair. As it was late afternoon, this was not a bad time to go and find him.

When he got to the restaurant, Odin for once was not working but was lounging in a soft chair slowly stroking a white cat. As he approached, the cat leaped off Odin's lap and shot off into the kitchen.

‘Eadie, you not like Ben? He very handsome,' simpered Odin to the departing cat. ‘So Ben, you forget your lust for that girl yet?'