Texas Weddings 3 & 4 (15 page)
The
other night.
For some reason her heart wrenched as she remembered their
conversation at the coffee shop. How wonderful that night had been. How
comfortable. And how uncomfortable she felt right now.
Lord, what are
You
doing here?
As Joey put the car
into gear and headed out onto the interstate, she allowed her thoughts to
wander even more. The night she and Kent had laughed over cups of coffee had
more than broken the ice between them. Truly, they had forgiven one another for
the way they had handled themselves that day at the school. She smiled,
remembering his stories about Charity.
“Everything okay?”
She startled at Joey’s voice. “Oh,
yeah.
. . I’m just a little preoccupied.”
“Thinking about that
sermon?”
“What do you mean?”
She gazed at Joey with some degree of curiosity.
“I thought maybe he
hit a trigger point.”
She pursed her lips
and shook her head. “Nope. No deep inner turmoil in need of healing in this
heart.” She smiled in his direction but immediately wondered at the feelings of
confusion that caused her chest to tighten.
Lord,
am I in turmoil?
“That’s good.” He
reached for her hand, giving it a squeeze. “Because I don’t want anything to
distract you today.”
“Today? What do you
mean?”
“You’ll see.” He
winked and flashed a whimsical smile.
They arrived at the
restaurant less than ten minutes later. After parking, Joey rounded the car to
open the door for Shauna. As always, she found herself relaxing as she looked
into his eyes.
He really is a gentleman.
As they entered the restaurant, he once again opened the door.
“Thank you, kind sir.”
He bowed rather
dramatically. “You’re welcome, my queen.”
She blushed at his
compliment.
The hostess seated
them at the table, and Joey ordered for them both—with an unusual flair,
she noted. Just as the salads arrived, he grew quite nervous.
“Are you sick?” she
whispered.
He shook his head, not
uttering a word.
“Are you sure?” Shauna
reached for her fork but never shifted her gaze from his wrinkled brow.
He nodded slowly,
almost methodically. “Shauna, I have something to ask you.”
“What is it?”
“These last few weeks
have been rough and I know I don’t deserve you, but you would make me so
happy.
. .” He paused and shrugged. “I mean later, of
course. After I get my degree. Would you think
about.
. .I mean, would you…?”
Shauna looked into Joey’s
eyes, filled with amazement. And filled with something else, as well.
A firm sense of
knowing.
. .
. .
.that this was that last question on earth she could answer with a yes.
Shauna brushed aside a few stray tears as she dressed for
work. In the week since Joey’s leaving, she had cried herself to sleep nearly
every night. A thousand times she had questioned her decision to turn down
Joey’s request. A thousand times she had prayed, asking the Lord to guide her
and to bring a sense of peace. But her peace, however real in some fleeting
moments, seemed to be all mixed up with the guilt of hurting Joey.
How did this happen? How did I end up hurting him? Lord, I
never wanted to do that. And yet, how could I marry someone I’m clearly not in
love with?
She pondered those words. In her heart, she had to face the
truth. She was not in love with Joey. Perhaps she never had been.
Maybe I was in love with the idea of being
in love—not with an actual person. So what does love really feel like?
And how will I know it when it comes?
A picture of Kent’s smiling face cheered her heart right
away. If only love were as easy—as comfortable—as being with Kent.
Sitting with a cup of coffee in her hand, talking about life. Talking about
family. Talking about little girls dancing around the living room in imaginary
tutus. If
only.
. .
The “if
onlys
” wrapped around her
heart and squeezed tightly until she knew beyond a shadow of a doubt why being
with Kent felt so comfortable. In spite of her problems with Charity, in spite
of her confusion over Joey—in spite of everything, she had developed
feelings for Kent Chapman.
But how could she trust her feelings? Hadn’t they betrayed
her before?
Lord, please forgive me. What
I’m feeling is wrong. Kent has never expressed any romantic interest in me. And
Charity.
. . she still hasn’t warmed up to me. Maybe
she never will.
Her mother tapped on
the bedroom door then stuck her head inside. “Are you okay,
honey
?”
Her eyes reflected great caring.
“I will be.” Shauna
sighed.
“Your father and I are worried about you.” Her mother
stepped into the room. “Is there anything we can do?”
Shauna shook her head.
“I’ll be fine after awhile. I guess I just need time to absorb everything.” She
sat on the edge of the bed and looked up into her mother’s eyes. “Mom?”
“What?” Her mother sat
next to her.
She gave her mom an
imploring look. “Have you ever prayed for something—something you thought
you really wanted—only to get it and then decide you didn’t want it?”
Her mom chuckled.
“Sort of, although I guess my little story probably won’t measure up to what
you’re
dealing with.” She paused and smiled. “When I was a
kid, I begged my mom for a puppy. I prayed for months. Finally, I got the very
thing I prayed for—a tiny little thing with black and white fur.”
Shauna looked at her
curiously. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard this story before.”
“It’s not one I’m very
proud of,” her mother continued. “I did pretty well with him at first. But he
was unruly. Didn’t want to be housetrained. Ruined my mother’s furniture. Dug
holes in the yard. Grew so large, he outweighed me.” She shrugged. “In the end,
my mother ended up taking care of him for me. She fed him, bathed him,
everything. She fell in love with that dog, thank goodness, but I never did.
Funny thing was, I really, really wanted him.”
“Or at least you
thought you did.” Shauna shrugged. “I know what that feels like. I thought I
wanted someone like
Joey.
. .”
“Maybe the words
‘someone like Joey’ are key here,” her mother interjected. “Maybe the problem
wasn’t the idea—maybe it was the person.”
Shauna shrugged then
stood to slip on her jacket. “It’s ironic you should say that. I was just thinking
the same thing. But it’s all so confusing. How do you know when the right
person comes along if you can’t trust what you’re feeling?”
“Feelings will betray
you,” her mother said. “But God won’t.”
Shauna sighed. “I just
feel like I’ve wasted so much time. It’s crazy to think I spent so much time
thinking I had Mr. Right, only to figure out he was Mr. Wrong for me.”
Her mother patted her
on the arm. “Happens all the time, honey. But don’t think of it as wasted time.
Any time you’ve learned a lesson or two, your time hasn’t been wasted. And I
guarantee
you,
Joey has learned a few lessons from
this, as well. His heart might hurt a little now, but imagine how much more it
would have hurt years from now if he had actually married someone the Lord
never intended for him to marry.”
“I never thought of it
that way.” Shauna stood and ran a brush through her hair. “But let’s don’t talk
about marriage, okay? I think I’ve spent way too much time thinking about that
lately and not enough time focusing on my work.”
“True.” Her mother
stood alongside her. “But don’t rule out the possibility of God’s intervention
in your love life, honey. Sometimes He walks us strategically down one road
just to lead us to another.”
Shauna turned to argue
the point, but the twinkle in her mother’s eye diverted her.
What is she up to?
“Have a good day at
work, honey. And don’t hurry home on our account. Daddy and I have a Sunday
school party tonight.”
Is she trying to tell me something?
As Shauna climbed into
the car to head off to work, the telephone rang. She recognized Ellen’s voice
on the other end.
“Shauna?”
“Hey, what’s up?”
“Just thought you’d
like to know we’ve, uh”—Ellen cleared her throat—“run into a small
hitch up here.”
Shauna groaned. Though
Mrs. Fritz looked after the early morning crowd, Shauna had certainly heard of
their antics on more than one occasion. “What’s happened?”
“Bobby Radisson
brought an apple from home, and Clay took it from him,” Ellen explained.
“That’s not much of a
story.” Shauna smiled and added a teasing comment. “Can’t you come up with
something better than that?”
“Yep. Clay flushed the
apple down the toilet.”
Shauna groaned. “Oh,
my.”
“Oh, my, is right,”
Ellen
continued. “The toilet backed up, and the entire back
section of the building is under about three inches of water.”
Shauna’s second “oh,
my” was a little more exaggerated than the first. “What are we going to do?”
“Mrs. Fritz has moved
the infants into one room and toddlers into another. You’ll be working with the
three- and four-year-old teachers today in the lunchroom. Just wanted to let
you know in advance so you wouldn’t be startled when you got here.”
Shauna groaned. “I was
hoping for a quiet day.”
“Around here?” Ellen
laughed. “You should know better than that.”
“I know, I know. But I
really need it.”
“Sounds like you need
more than that,” Ellen said. “Would you like to go to dinner with me tonight?
Sounds like you could use a friend.”
“I’d like that.” Shauna
couldn’t help but wonder at the Lord’s timing. “And you’re right. I do need a
friend right now.”
“Well, I’m here for
you.” Ellen paused. “At least I will be, just as soon as I get this casserole
into the oven.”
“We can talk when I
get there,” Shauna said. “And thanks for the warning. I’m just grateful Charity
wasn’t involved this time.”
“She’s getting better,
you know. The terrible twos don’t last forever.”
As Ellen hung up, Shauna pondered her final words. Charity’s
antics, however bad, weren’t completely out of character for a two-year-old.
And the others certainly had the capability of acting up as well. This
morning’s incident should more than settle that issue in her mind.
And Charity would outgrow this stage. Surely. Shauna found
herself praying for the child, asking the Lord to help the little girl overcome
the obstacles in her life.
Then, Shauna’s prayers shifted. She began to pray for Kent
Chapman—slowly at first, then with a passion borne from a heart now free
to express itself. As the words flowed, the Lord filled her with a sense of
overwhelming peace.
Shauna prayed for Kent’s broken heart. She prayed for his
relationship with Charity. She prayed for his job at the church and the many
challenges he faced daily. She thanked the Lord for saving him from the choices
he made as a teen.
And she prayed he would find himself as open to a new
relationship.
. .as she now found herself.
***
Kent picked up the telephone and entered Shauna’s number.
What he would say when she answered
,
he
had no idea
. One thing was clear, he had to stop her from making a
mistake with Joey—had to keep her from spending even one more day with
the wrong man.
Just before the phone
began to ring, he snapped his phone shut. “It’s not my place. I have no right
telling her something like that. She’ll think I’m crazy. It’s not like
we’re.
. .”
a couple.
His heart ached as the
truth emerged. He didn’t want Shauna to make the mistake of a lifetime, but
what could he do?
Should I tell her how I
feel? How do I feel?
He took a few moments
to analyze his heart. After all he had been through, why would the Lord send
such new, exciting feelings to sweep over him? In fact, they were so new, so
fresh, that they frightened him. And yet, he could not deny the truth—he
didn’t want Shauna to connect herself with any man, except himself. If she
settled on anything less, it might very well break his heart.
“Lord, if this is
really of
You
, then I ask for the impossible. I ask
for
You
to protect her from the wrong relationship and
lead her into the right one. And show me what to do,
Father.
. .and what not to do.”
“Charity?” Shauna looked at the youngster curiously.