Texas-Sized Temptation (16 page)

“Caitlin, if I marry this year, my father will have won his battle,” Jake said when she remained silent without answering his question. “My dad will be running my life and he'll continue running it forever. This is a big one. I have strong feelings for you,” Jake said and her heart thudded. All her being longed to throw her arms around him, kiss him and forget this conversation, but if she did, she would be more lost than before. And there would be no permanency in her life.

She hurt as if cut by a knife, but now was the time to abide by what she wanted even if it cost her Jake in her life. She would never be happy the other way. It would be fleeting and then she would want more and be more in love with him.

“Jake, your words are magic, but I can't go into a relationship without a commitment. I won't do it, not even after our weekend together.”

“Dammit, Caitlin, I love you and I want you,” he said, grinding out the words and pulling her into his embrace to kiss her. Unable to resist, she responded, clinging to him and kissing him wildly with all the longing she had suffered over empty, sleepless nights.

“I love you.…” Magic words that thrilled her and were another assault against her resistance. She wanted him with all her being, wanted his total commitment forever. She wasn't ever again going through what she had just been through, thinking he was out of her life, seeing their lovemaking turn into memories.

She held him tightly, pouring love, longing into her kisses, running her hands over him, wanting him and aching to lock her door and make love here in the office.

“Go out with me, Caitlin. I've dreamed about you,” he whispered, showering kisses on her. “I can't work, I can't sleep, I'm forgetting things I shouldn't, making poor decisions. I want you back in my life. It'll be a commitment.”

She looked up at him, framing his face with her hands. “Is that a proposal?”

He looked pained. “You know I will not marry. Dammit, you know why I won't. I refuse to give in to my dad on this because it's a giant, life-changing ultimatum that will make him think he can do the same thing again and again where I'm concerned. No, I can't marry, but I can promise a lasting relationship.”

She stepped away from him, trying to gather her wits and her resolve. “If your father told you to forget what he said, whether you marry or not wouldn't matter, would it change how you feel?”

He blinked and looked surprised for a fleeting moment, as
if the prospect had never occurred to him. “I hadn't thought about it that way. And it's pointless to because he's here, in my life and meddling in the worst possible way.” Jake's gaze was steady. “I love you, Caitlin.”

“I've loved you since before our weekend together,” she replied, thrilling to his words that made her want to kiss him, to forget everything else. She clung to fighting for what she wanted.

“If you really love me, you'll marry me,” she said. “Don't you see, you're letting him run your life by not marrying if you're really, deeply in love.”

“The hell I am. That would be doing just what he wants.” Jake walked away, jamming his hands into his pockets, standing in silence with his back to her. She guessed he was thinking about what she had just said and her heart raced.

He turned back to face her, gazing solemnly at her. “Marriage is a giant step, but I've never felt this way before. I'm in love with you. Would you become engaged now and marry me when this year is up? That's not long.”

She shook her head. “No. If you truly love me enough to make a binding commitment, then you are allowing his desires to come in the way of our love for each other. I want the marriage, Jake. When we parted, it hurt more than I dreamed possible.”

“Caitlin—” he said, taking a step toward her and reaching for her, but she put up her hand. He paused, his eyes narrowing.

“Don't, Jake. I'm sorry. I won't settle for less. You wouldn't want to wait if you were deeply in love with me. At this point in our lives, we both should get over what we feel for each other unless it is one of those loves for eternity that songs are written about. And if it is that kind, we'll know in time because we won't forget or want anyone else. In the meantime,
I think you're allowing your father to control your life and I'm not going into a casual relationship. I refuse to.”

“Caitlin, I'm asking for a Saturday night dinner date—”

“No, you're not,” she replied quietly. “You want more than that. You want to make love again.”

He inhaled and stood staring at her with his fists clenched.

“You don't want that, too?” he asked in a husky voice.

“Yes, I do,” she said, seeing him take a deep breath, “but I won't. It hurt, more than you'll ever know, when we parted ways before. I'm not going through that another time. No. I thank you for what you've done for Cecilia, Kirby and Altheda. It will mean a lot to them. I love you, really love you, Jake. Maybe that kind of love that is for a lifetime. While it feels that way now, only time will tell on that one. This is goodbye. I think you will have a bitter, empty victory with your dad.”

“You're sure that's what you want?” he asked.

“Yes, I am. Jake, thank you for what you've done for Cecilia and the others.”

Nodding, he turned and left, pausing a moment at the door to look at her. Her heart was breaking for a second time over him. She fought the temptation to call him back. He looked at her one last time, then closed the door behind him.

Weak-kneed, she sat down and let tears come, not caring if she was at work. She loved him and he loved her, but not enough to rise above his dad's ultimatum, unless he was simply using that as an excuse. Whichever it was, he wouldn't even offer marriage right now and she had had one weekend of loving without commitment and she never wanted that again because it had meant heartbreak.

Did Jake truly love her? It was a question she would never know the answer to because she was certain he was gone for good this time.

Her thoughts turned to Cecilia, Altheda and Kirby and what Jake had done for the three at the ranch. She wiped her eyes and picked up her phone to call and see if they were truly happy with their new situation.

The house was there. It wasn't hers because Jake didn't sell it to her, but she could go there as long as Cecilia and Altheda lived in it. By the time they were gone, he might have a change of heart and sell that patch of land back to her. The fact that he had taken care of the others made her think his declarations of love might have been heartfelt. Those were not the actions of a man who wasn't in love or had his eye on the dollar. A month ago, Jake would not have agreed to that, much less thought it up himself. He wouldn't have a week ago. Was he really a man in love?

 

“You did what?” Gabe asked, pacing up and down in front of Jake in the living area of his Dallas condo.

“You heard me,” Jake remarked dryly without looking up from an envelope he was addressing. “I've hired Kirby and I'll hire the women at Caitlin's house to work for me. The house stays and they stay and Kirby has two employees who will also go on my payroll and he has cattle that I've bought. In short, only the belongings in the house are Caitlin's. Otherwise, all the rest is mine and my employees.”

“You've lost it, Jake. So is she back in your life?”

“Caitlin? No, she's not.”

“I don't get this. Why did you hire them then? You don't need them. You didn't want the house to stay. You didn't want those people to stay the last time I talked to you. What the hell happened?”

“I had a change of heart.”

Gabe raked his fingers through his thick hair. “I don't get it,” he said, repeating himself. “So when are you seeing Caitlin?”

“I'm not. She won't go out with me.”

“This gets more complicated. Why won't she go out with you?”

Jake finished and dropped his pen on the desk to lean back in his chair and stretch out his long legs. “She wants marriage.”

Gabe snorted. “Well, at least this I understand. You're not a marrying man. This year in particular when you've vowed you won't marry because that's exactly what Dad has told you to do. Well, okay. I'll leave the old house. We have plenty to do where we are right now. Caitlin's out of your life. Who's in?”

“No one at present.”

“Ditto here. I've been too busy with work to have a life.” He glanced at his watch. “Speaking of, I have an appointment early in the morning. I need to get going now because I have some errands tonight before I go home. See you next week, Jake,” Gabe said, picking up a briefcase and hurrying out, closing the door behind him.

Jake stared into space, missing Caitlin, wanting to call her, glad there wasn't a bad feeling between them even if she wouldn't go out with him.

Since he had last seen her at her office, he had thought about what she had said to him. Was he still letting his father run his life, by not marrying? Or was that an excuse? Marriage and commitment had always scared him. He missed her more each day instead of less. He had been surprised by how badly he missed her. It was still as if their weekend of loving had just happened and there was not a growing length of time since then.

He wanted her more by the day. He stood, restlessly pacing the room, feeling alone, wanting her laughter, her warmth, her passion. How deep was his love for her?

He thought about losing her, hearing Cecilia or Kirby someday tell him about Caitlin's wedding.

At the thought, something twisted and hurt inside him. He didn't want Caitlin to fall in love with someone else. Was he really deeply in love, the once-in-a-lifetime kind of love that he didn't think actually ever happened?

He loved her, he wanted her, and he was going to lose her. He swore softly and clenched his fists. Was he letting his father run his life by refusing to marry when he was in love? Was she right about that?

What if his father wasn't in the equation?

For the rest of the night Jake pondered that question, still mulling it over in the morning when he worked out. He finally came to a conclusion.

C
aitlin placed her camera in her Range Rover and climbed in, turning on the rugged road. She glanced back at the palatial mountain home with a backdrop of spruce and aspen. People stood in the yard and waved to her. She waved in return and then drove around the circle and headed down the mountain to drive back to her home in Santa Fe.

The job had come up suddenly and she was thankful for it because she had been miserable since she had told Jake goodbye. She thought about the pictures of the family she had taken today. It had been a busy, interesting day with some pictures that had pleased her and she hoped when they were finished, her work would please the family.

She inhaled the cool mountain air. It was mid-November now. Snow covered the mountain slopes and she wanted to get to a lower elevation because she didn't want to get caught in any sudden storm.

Two hours later, she turned into the drive of her adobe
house, startled to see a sleek black car parked there. She frowned, wondering who was waiting for her. The car door opened and Jake stepped out.

Her heart missed a beat. She stopped her car beside his and climbed out to face him.

“What are you doing here, Jake? How'd you find me?”

“Cecilia. You always let her know where you are.”

“I had a photography job near here. Come inside,” she said, turning to go in through the back door. He followed her into the kitchen.

“What brought on this visit?” she asked.

He walked up to her and took her coat off her shoulders, shedding his own jacket and dropping them on a chair before turning back to her.

“I've missed you.” Her pulse still raced and his statement kept it galloping. She waited in silence.

“I've thought about what you said. I don't like life without you.”

Her resolve slipped a notch. “Jake,” she whispered, wanting to reach for him. He looked incredible, exciting, sexy, virile. He had filled her dreams while memories of him tormented her through each waking hour.

“I've given a lot of thought to what you said about my dad controlling my life. Maybe you were right,” he continued. She wanted to kiss and hold him, to love him. She trembled and doubled her fists and waited to hear what he had to say and if his stand had changed in the slightest.

Now was not the time to toss aside all her resolutions because she couldn't take another heartbreak. Something had brought him to Santa Fe and she intended to hear him out.

“So,” she prompted when he was silent. She held her breath, waiting to see what he would say.

He reached in his pocket and pulled out a ring. “I brought
this for you, Caitlin. Will you marry me? Right away if you want.”

“Jake!” She had wanted a proposal, but when he actually asked, she couldn't believe what she was hearing. “You've been so set against it.”

“I think you're right. This is what I would do if we pulled my dad out of the equation. I've got to stop thinking about Dad and what he wants me to do or not do. I have to stop reacting to his edicts. It's been pure hell without you. I love you and want you.”

His words poured out swiftly as he wrapped his arms around her. She flung hers around his neck, kissing him wildly, joy making her cry. Her heart pounded with happiness while she ran her hands over Jake, wanting him with a consuming need. She twisted free buttons on his shirt, unaware of his hands at her buttons, clothing fell and was tossed away until she was naked in his arms and his hands were everywhere.

Once he paused to run his fingers on her cheek. “Tears, Caitlin?”

“Tears of gladness,” she whispered and pulled his head closer to kiss him. In a few more minutes he paused again.

“Bed?” he whispered, picking her up as he kissed her. She twisted free long enough to point. “That way. Turn right,” she whispered. “Jake, I've missed you more than you can ever imagine,” she said before returning to kisses, running her hands over his shoulders.

“Not half as much as I've wanted you, darlin'. I love you with all my heart, Caitlin. I should have told you sooner, but I didn't recognize it myself. I've never been in love before.”

“You know full well that I haven't, either,” she whispered and then all words were gone as he kissed her passionately and made love with her.

Hours later she lay in his arms on her bed. She was on her
side, facing him. “Jake, I recall seeing you hold up a ring, but I don't have that ring.”

“Damn, I think I dropped it when I kissed you. I'll go find it.”

“I'll go with you if I can move. You've demolished me.”

“You stay where you are. I'll be right back.”

Jake returned, crossing the room to wrap his arm around her.

“Did you find it?” she asked, running her hands over his chest.

He held out the ring. “Darlin', I love you. Will you marry me?”

“Yes,” she replied, her heart pounding with joy as she held her hand out to him and watched him slip a sparkling emerald-cut diamond on her finger.

“Jake, the ring is gorgeous,” she said. “It's huge.”

“So is my love.”

She kissed him and he carried her to bed to make love again.

It was in the early hours of the morning when she was in his arms. A small light burned and she held her hand out to admire her new ring. “Jake, I love my ring. And I love you.”

“Good. And I love you, too. I want to marry soon.”

“What's soon?” she asked, thinking of jobs she had booked in the next few months.

“Tomorrow would be nice.”

“Tomorrow!” she said, laughing. “How about a Christmas wedding?”

“Sounds good. But the sooner the better. And then a long, long honeymoon afterward.”

She laughed. “What about your parents?”

“I'd be lying if I told you they will welcome you, but I think they'll adjust and when they get to know you, they will love you, too.”

“I hope. We've had enough dissension in my family.”

“Would you consider marrying in Dallas?”

She thought about it. “That would be fine. Houston is not that far away.”

“Great. We'll have a lot of people.”

“I can imagine,” she remarked. “I can tell you who we will not have.”

Jake looked into her eyes. “Your half brother.”

“That's right, Jake. I think I've seen and heard the last of Will because he wouldn't attend our wedding if I asked him.”

“Do you care?”

She shook her head. “Sadly, no. I don't miss him at all. He'll never come back here and he won't acknowledge that I'm related to him.”

“If you don't care, then I can tell you, I'm glad he won't be here. I would find it really difficult to welcome him to my wedding.”

“I understand. No problem there.”

“Now, we've discussed Will. Let's close the door on that one. I don't want even a discussion about him to put a damper on tonight or any other time between us.”

“Impossible,” she said, smiling at him. “I'll look at my ring and think about my handsome hunk of a husband-to-be and the wedding we'll have. What else is there? If you can't get him out of mind, then I'll have to do something to take your thoughts elsewhere.” She smiled at Jake.

He rolled over. “For a woman who was a virgin, pure and sweet only a short time ago, you are a wanton sex kitten.”

“Kitten? That's not good,” she said, rolling again on top of him. “Tigress, now that would be a good description. I'll have to earn that one,” she said and kissed him. As his arms closed around her to hold her tightly, she was swept away by passion.