Texas Lonesome (21 page)

S
idney tossed and turned, haunted by dark, probing eyes and a slash of chiseled lips, sometimes mocking, sometimes teasing, and all the time desirable. Every time they came close, and she thought they were about to kiss her, the face came into focus and transformed into that of her older brother Jock Jr.

In her dream, he scowled and pointed an accusing finger.
You’ve sold out to the enemy. You, a Calhoun, are in love with a McCutcheon!

No! That’s not true! I’ve done no such thing. I’m watching over Noah, making sure he doesn’t make his problems worse.

She blinked and opened her eyes. The creamy haze of morning, brush-stroked with pinks and golds, filtered through her windowpane. The hotel was quiet, as was the town. The air felt cool on her skin.

Four days had passed since the dinner in the alley with Dustin. Four days to wonder about him as he hadn’t made an appearance in the store since. Four days to dwell on her insecurities, going over each and every word of their conversation.

Such thoughts . . .

Sidney pulled the blanket around her neck and snuggled in, pushing away her troubled feelings. One by one, events from the past paraded through her mind. From Dustin yanking her off her feet from the sandy badlands desert floor and onto the back of his horse, then galloping away, to him smiling into her face, filling her with happiness. Dustin calling her old, and then waiting for her to take the bait. Dustin’s voice making ripples of awareness move through her body.

Why couldn’t Gibson Harp be swoon worthy like that? The thirty-five-year-old merchant in Santa Fe, the one who believed he was courting her, was nice looking and said all the right things. He went out of his way to make her feel special. She’d gladly say yes to his proposal if he could make her heart trip over itself with only a look, like Dustin could. Or sent a bevy of tingles racing through her body each time he happened to touch her arm.

Dustin McCutcheon.
The devil in a cowboy hat. That man had cast his spell over her well and good. She’d not forget him anytime soon.

She rolled to her side, taking in the ever-lightening sky on the other side of the glass as she tucked her hands beneath her cheek. What awaited her back in Santa Fe? On the ranch, or even as a wife to Gibson Harp? After her time spent in Rio Wells, even living off of thirty-five cents a day, her prospects seemed bleak.

As a woman, she held no stock in the workings of the family ranch, not like the rest of her brothers. Her father had said her mother’s jewelry belonged to her, but she’d not seen it. Other than that, she was more or less a hired hand around there. She had some money, but not enough to start a business of her own like Lily McCutcheon. The thought of her feisty employer brought a smile to her lips.

Lily. She had it all. A trade that brought her pleasure, gave her an outlet to be creative, and made money to boot. From her short time working in the shop, Sidney had ascertained her employer was well respected far and wide. The finished products set tongues wagging. She accomplished the feat with ease and humility, as if fashioning a gown of exquisite quality was as easy as baking bread. Her cowboy-doctor husband clearly worshiped the ground she walked on. Love in abundance existed between them, which seemed to multiply every time Sidney was around the two.

A sigh escaped her lips, and she realized she needed to get up and get moving. Today was a workday. She had three hours before she’d report to the shop, but that didn’t mean she should lay about slovenly like a lazybones.

A knock on her door brought her wide awake.

“Sidney, are you in there?”

Lily.

Sidney jumped up, pulled the quilt off the bed, and wrapped it around her shoulders. “Coming.”

She hurried to the door and pulled it open. There stood Lily, looking clean and fresh with a basket, and what looked to be two folded garments in her arms. She smiled warmly.

“Please, come in.” Sidney swept her arm, gesturing her boss inside. “I apologize for not being dressed. I was just lying about, thinking.”

“No worries. It’s only seven o’clock. Much too early for a proper call.”

Lily went to the small table next to the window and set down the basket. She extracted several cloth-covered plates from within and placed them on the tabletop next to the lantern and a copy of the newspaper.

“I hope you don’t mind, but I brought you a little something.” She flicked her hand at the veritable feast waiting to be consumed. She hadn’t yet mention the clothes she’d nonchalantly placed on the bed as she’d crossed the room. “Go on. It’s two poached eggs with toast and jam.” She set the basket at her feet.

Heaven.
Just hearing the names of the items made Sidney’s stomach rumble. “Lily, you must stop spoiling me so. Thanks to you, I now have funds to feed myself until my father sends the money he’s promised.”

The money is coming, isn’t it? He didn’t really promise me anything. I must check at the bank today.

“You hush. Thirty-five cents a day is hardly enough to keep a snail alive. If I want to make sure you have energy to get through the workday, I will. Besides, I didn’t set out to bring you breakfast. Dustin stopped by and left you a note. Instead of waiting for you to come in at ten, I thought you might like it now.” She wiggled her eyebrows suggestively and laughed. “It’s so much fun playing Cupid.”

A note from Dustin?
Dread washed through Sidney.
Please don’t let it be bad news about Noah.

“And we can also go downstairs and have a cup of peppermint tea in the restaurant. It’s my treat.” Lily held out a small piece of white paper folded in half. “Go on and read it, and then eat. I’ll go see if we’re too early to take a table downstairs.”

Sidney nodded as she lifted the missive from Lily’s fingers.

Lily lifted one of the garments on the bed and shook it out. “These are from my friend Martha Brown. She doesn’t mind in the least lending them to you, so no fretting.”

Sidney held the brown corduroy skirt up to her waist as Lily unfolded a nicely ironed yellow blouse. Yesterday, they’d discovered Lily’s things were a bit too snug on her.

“They’re lovely. Again, thank you for all your kindnesses.”

Lily gestured to the armoire that held Madeline’s skirt and Becky’s blouse. “Be sure to bring in the garments you’ve been wearing, and we’ll wash and iron them today. Then you’ll have two outfits.”

Wanting to die of shame, Sidney smiled her thanks. What could she do? She hated taking such charity, but she had no other choice. Now she knew how the poor mother in San Antonio felt. Thankful and humbled at the same time.

“Having something new to wear will be nice. Thank you so much, Lily.”

“Eat the eggs before they’re cold. I’ll see you downstairs. I have another surprise I think you’ll like once we have our tea, so hurry.”

As soon as the door closed, Sidney opened the note.

Dear Sidney,

We’ve been sorting cattle the last few days, making getting to Rio Wells impossible.

First, let me say, Noah is fine. I know that’s the first thing that would jump into your head when you saw this note. He’s healthy, following orders, and keeping to himself.

That said, keeping Noah out of my father’s sight is increasingly difficult. To make things easier, I kept Noah with me, and we camped out by the herd.

She heard what he wasn’t saying. That staying out was unwarranted, just to keep Noah out of trouble, out of sight, and protect his father. Dustin’s compassion for his father’s feelings was noteworthy.

Leaving him for long in the bunkhouse is not a good idea. I don’t want to see anyone else get hurt. I can’t guarantee someone in our employ won’t start a fight, even though they have been warned with termination.

Such distraction! And inconvenience! Dustin was undertaking a lot of trouble for the Calhouns. Even to the point of threatening his own ranch hands. Most men wouldn’t give a whit if Noah didn’t fare well at the hands of the help. Her heart shuddered.

For that reason, I’ve made a decision I hope I don’t regret. I’m assigning him to John, to help him set up the barn for his new business. Noah swears he won’t cause trouble. I’m trusting his word. I believe Noah respects and maybe even admires John. If you’re reading this note, then you can be assured your brother is already in town and is in good hands.

Respectfully yours,

Dustin

Noah! Here in town! Here with Dustin’s blessing and his trust, her brother would behave.

Sidney stared long and hard at the missive, unwarranted dread swirling around in her empty stomach. Noah wouldn’t go and do something stupid, would he?
He’s been running off at the drop of a hat, and you wonder that!
Ashamed for her faithless thoughts, she considered all that Dustin was doing to protect not only his father, but her brother as well. And if she were honest, for her.

Jerking the quilt from her shoulders, Sidney tossed the covering back on the bed. With shaky hands, she stepped into the skirt Lily had brought and shimmied the garment over her hips. As fast as she could go, she fastened the hook and eye behind her back and reached for the blouse.

Lily was waiting. Maybe the other surprise she’d alluded to was walking to where Noah worked with John. She felt frantic. Somewhere along the way, Dustin’s opinion of her and her family had become important. Dustin, as well as the other McCutcheons. Lily, John . . . even Winston. They’d all been so kind.

Grasping a comb off the dresser, she ran the tool through her hair. Having no time for fussy styles, she quickly plaited her tresses down her back and let the braid swing. Using the same water she’d washed in last night, she splashed her face, briskly toweled dry, and brushed her teeth.

Taking a second to examine the results of her toilette, Sidney pinched both cheeks several times until they stung. She couldn’t wait to get downstairs to see what Lily was talking about.

“
O
n the count of three . . .”

Dustin and Noah grasped the bulky wooden crate, lifted it, and walked the cumbersome piece out the barn door to the wagon that would move the trunk to Mr. Knutson’s other barn. The new merchant had generously offered this barn to John for a dollar a month. The hard dirt floor was uneven under Dustin’s boots, making the going slow.

“Gently, please,” Mr. Knutson said, following while wringing his hands. “Right there. Next to the blue one.”

The Wisconsinite pointed to the other six crates they’d already loaded in the wagon. Longish dark blond hair was still thick for his middle age.

“I don’t quite remember what’s inside, but I know it’s important. Belongs to my missus.” He scratched his head. “Or one of my girls. Anyway, it’s traveled intact all the way from Milwaukee, and I wouldn’t like to see anything be broken now.”

John followed with a box hefted in his arms, his clothes already marred with dirt and sweat. Tucker was last with an armful of gardening tools.

Dustin had presented his dilemma about Noah to his cousin, and then offered him Noah’s help. John had been overwhelmed with gratitude. Since Tucker only had one hand, lifting large objects was a difficult task. Noah’s strength would be appreciated.

John clamped Dustin firmly on the shoulder. “You showed up just in time, cousin. I don’t know how I can thank you for staying to help. Does a man good to have family nearby.”

Dustin chuckled. “You’re laying on the horse puckey mighty thick today, John. No need for that. I’m happy to help if I can.” He nodded toward Noah. “Just make sure this fellow never leaves your sight. I mean it. I trust him, but also need to follow Judge Halford’s orders. In my way of thinking, one McCutcheon is as good as another.” He trained John with a meaningful look. “When I’m done in the late afternoon, I’ll ride back in and collect him.”

Noah listened to the discussion, his face a blank slate.

Figuring out Sidney’s younger brother was a challenge. He seemed sincere about toeing the line. After the time spent with him camping under the stars, and the conversations they’d had, Dustin wanted to trust the fellow. But he had to remember Noah was a Calhoun. And that didn’t bode well.

Maybe he’s just waiting for me to let down my guard. No telling the havoc he could cause if he wanted to.

“That’s a lot of extra riding,” John said. “You sure you want to do that? Noah could take my old room upstairs at the doctor’s office. It’s vacant. Bixby and Tucker won’t mind.”

“No doing. Too risky.”

Without saying a word, Noah shrugged and then ambled into the barn through the tall, propped-open doors. The four followed him in, and John commenced to show Dustin around.

A rapping sounded on the barn doorjamb. “Knock, knock,” Lily’s voice called out. “May we come in?”

Dustin turned to see Lily and Sidney, the latter going up on tiptoe to reach her brother’s cheek with a kiss. Standing next to Noah, she looked quite small.

He wanted to talk to her, tell her the things he’d learned the other night from Diaz Sanchez, but he wasn’t quite ready. He needed to do a little more digging first. Get more information.

“Lily!” John strutted forward. “I wasn’t expecting to see you. Or you either, Miss Calhoun. Please come into my—” he looked back over his shoulder to Tucker and Dustin, “into
our
new office and manufacturing facility.”

John’s puffed-out chest reminded Dustin of a proud father. You’d think he’d just given birth to this barn.

Both women entered with smiles on their faces. Sidney was dressed in a different skirt and blouse, not new, which looked vaguely familiar. He tried not to stare, but days had passed since he’d seen her, and his eyes wouldn’t obey.

“Mr. Knutson, I’d like you to meet my wife, Lily McCutcheon,” John said, leading Lily over to the man. “She owns the most successful dress shop in Rio Wells.”

Lily beamed. “The only dress shop in Rio Wells,” she corrected.

“That too,” John agreed. “Still, you can’t deny it’s very popular with all the women. You’ll have to bring by your wife and daughters. Lily’ll be happy to show them around town. This is her assistant, Miss Sidney Calhoun. She’s sister to Noah here.”

The man smiled and made a small bow. “I’m happy to make your acquaintance, Mrs. McCutcheon and Miss Calhoun. It’s good to know other young women live in town for my daughters to befriend. They weren’t eager to leave Wisconsin. Once the store opens and they get involved in town and meet people, I believe they’ll cheer up. Now that I’ve met you, I have hope for the situation.”

“Store? What kind?” Lily asked. She glanced at John and smiled.

“A general dry goods, as well as items that are popular with the ladies,” he responded. “My wife and daughters help in that department, of course.”

“That’s wonderful. A few days ago, John shared that a new merchant with five daughters had moved to Rio Wells.” She held out her basket. “I’ve brought you two jars of jam I put up last week. For you and your family.”

“That is very kind of you. Thank you. Would you like to go to the house? Deliver the fruits of your labor yourself? I’d be happy to introduce you.”

“Oh no,” Lily responded. “The hour is much too early to show up unannounced.” She shared a secretive glance with Sidney. “But I do hope I’ll have the pleasure of meeting them soon.” She handed him her basket.

“Of course you will,” he replied, darting a glance out the barn door and to the large house beyond the garden. “Soon.” The word was feeble. “Just not quite yet. They’re still adjusting to the heat.”

Dustin frowned. The weather was quite mild this year.

John put his arm around Lily’s back. “When they’re ready then.”

Mr. Knutson nodded and smiled, fine lines fanning out from his eyes. “I will do that, Dr. McCutcheon. And you all must come and visit my new mercantile on Church Street. I don’t know yet when we will open, but I will let you know.” He pulled a watch from his pocket and flipped open the lid. “I must be on my way. I have an appointment at the bank, and I don’t want to be late.” He lifted the basket. “Thank you for your kindness.”

They watched him walk away.

“A new mercantile,” Lily said with pleasure. “I do wonder how Nel and Betty will feel about another store.”

“Competition is good. Keeps prices down,” John said.

Dustin closed the space between him and Sidney. “Can I talk with you for a moment? In private?”

This growing closeness he’d been nursing for the past four days was about to overflow. He needed to speak with her, to see if this crazy notion that he had of them actually being together and building a life was just wishful thinking. He had enough information from Diaz that he just might sway her.

Since Monday night, when a sliver of hope had been given, he’d spent every waking moment thinking about her—whether lying in his bed, stretched out on the cold, hard ground next to a campfire, or riding his horse. Sidney Calhoun had occupied his every thought.

Her glance bounced around the occupants of the barn. “Of course. Where?”

He took a gentle hold of her elbow, guided her outside, and then to the side of the barn, shaded by a thicket of pines. The location was private and they wouldn’t be overheard by the others.

Still happy over her unexpected appearance, he had to tamp down his eagerness. “I’ve missed you.”

She pulled up, her eyes wide. “What did you say?”

“I said, I’ve missed seeing you these last few days. I’ve grown accustomed to you scowling at me and calling me names.”

Dustin realized he wasn’t always the most congenial man, and was often scolded by Madeline and Becky to cheer up and smile, and not be so cynical. But he was working on that. He was serious by nature, which wasn’t all
that
bad of a quality. Especially when he thought of Billy Burger, who spent almost every living day in the saloon, getting snockered.

Several women had told Dustin he was handsome. He was tall and fit. Surely, Sidney found something in him attractive.

But your name’s McCutcheon. That’s all she needs to scorn you forever.

Sidney glanced away and then back into his face, her eyes troubled. Her fingers fiddled with an ivory button on the front of her blouse. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m not
that
bad.”

“You’re not? That look on your face right now says you’d like to kick me, or do me other bodily harm if I let you. There’s no other reason I can think of for your peevishness except our growing attraction to each other. I’ve felt the spark ever since our meeting in the store in San Antonio. I’ll bet you have too.”

She blinked at his directness. “You big oaf!”

“See what I mean? That’s just another way of saying
I like you
. Because of our family history and your obvious dislike of anyone or anything McCutcheon, I didn’t want to admit this to myself. Well, now I am.” The hand he had pressed to a nearby tree trunk he let fall to his side. “I like you, Sidney. I like you a lot.”

First, she looked at him as if he’d lost his mind. Judging from her expression, he thought maybe he had. When she whirled and was about to march off, he stopped her by grasping her arm.

“Wait,” he said, and she threw cobalt daggers his way.

As if those will do anything to change my mind.

“It’s understandable, Sidney. You’re scared. Worried how your family will react. But I’m begging you, if you can’t
think
anything nice about me or the rest of the McCutcheons, don’t
think
anything at all.”

Impatience and a bit of confusion marked her face. “You’ve bungled the saying. If you can’t
say
anything—”

“No, not with you. I stick by my rendition. You don’t say much, but I can see the wheels in your head turning so fast, I expect to see steam coming out of your ears. Still, you keep everything all bottled up inside. You may smile and make nice when you’re with us, but I can hear your thoughts railing against the McCutcheon name.”

Frustrated with the situation, he took a few steps away and then paced back. “Those beliefs are what you’ve been taught. You worry over your loyalty to your family, and that mixes you up. And hurts you. I wish, just for a little while, you could forget all that. Like you did Monday night in the alley. You forgot about the past and your father’s anger. You sat at my side and enjoyed the evening. The night was about the best of my life. We could have so much more.”

“That’s not the way of it at all,” she said, but it was. He could tell by how quietly she said the words.

“Judge us for who we are now, not on what you’ve been told over the years.” That was the longest speech he’d ever given, but the look on her face said his words hadn’t made a lick of difference. “If I weren’t a McCutcheon, I know you’d like me well enough. Hell, you’d be in love with me. I can’t fight a wall of lies that keep us apart.”

“I think you’re mad,” she whispered, gazing into his face.

“Do you?”

Knowing she would pull away if he dared to take her in his arms, he stepped forward, and without touching any part of her body, leaned down and pressed his lips to hers.

A spark jumped between them. Desire surged.

He sucked in a breath before he leaned back just far enough to search her eyes. “I
am
mad. Mad for you. I admitted that shocking fact to myself yesterday. You’ve cast your Calhoun spell over me, Sidney, and I never want to be free.”