Texas Lily (13 page)

"You do not get these fevers from my people, my son." His chiseled face wrinkled from exposure to the sun of many summers, the warrior drew on the pipe of tobacco his son had brought for him.

"I do not belong to your people any longer, father, I have not since I was eight winters old. My mother took me to live among her people, and it is among her people that I must survive. This is the only way."

The old man closed his eyes and Cade thought he had fallen asleep, but he was merely ruminating. A few minutes later, he opened his eyes again.

"You are fortunate to have two worlds open to you. You must choose the best among them, not the worst."

Cade crossed his legs and stared at the dying remains of the fire. The close confines of the grass lodge were stifling. As much as he admired his father, his nature rebelled against the stoic acceptance of the fates or gods he couldn't see. He knew his father would welcome him back to the tribe, and there were times when that alternative seemed the easiest, but in the long run, it wouldn't be.

"Both worlds are closed against me, father, not open. I must find a path somewhere between them."

"You are Lipan. We have need of warriors. You are welcome here. It is you who are closed, not we."

"I am not a warrior," Cade emphasized firmly. How could he explain to his father that of all the things the Mexican priests had preached during his youth, one stayed with him stronger than most: we are all God's creatures. His father talked of killing men in the same manner as he would a buffalo. Cade was reluctant even to slay the buffalo.

The old man stared, then changed the subject. "Many soldiers come. Perhaps your mother's people are with them."

"My mother's father must be very old by now. He may have other children. I would know of it if his people return to the hacienda."

"It is a foolish quest, my son. Your mother's people are very proud. Your mother was a proud and foolish woman. I could have told her that her people were gone if I had known she would try to run back to them."

"It is in the past. I must make a future."

The old man shook his head. “The only time is now. Dove Woman's daughter looks on you favorably. If you wish a future, take a wife. A man must have children to have a future."

"A man must have some means to keep a wife. I can only do that among the white people. Dove Woman would not wish her daughter to leave her home. It is among my mother's people that I must seek for a wife."

Actually, he had a better chance among the Apache than he did among the proud Spanish/Mexicans of San Antonio, but to his father, all whites were the same. Cade had no intention of explaining about women like Lily. He couldn't explain her to himself.

He had said all that was needed to be said. Communication among the various wandering Apache bands in this part of Texas could be virtually instantaneous. Although his father had settled with his new wife and taken up the Waco way of life, he still had means of knowing what was going on. Should anyone come to claim Cade's mother's ranch, El Caballo would know about it within days or weeks, and the source would be much more reliable than any paid informant in San Antonio.

Cade waited until his father finished his pipe and emptied it, the signal that he was dismissed. Rising, he made his way quietly into the night outside the overheated lodge. He could stay here the night, but he wouldn't. Something called him back to the ranch. Perhaps it was that bottle of whiskey he had picked up back in town.

Lily watched as Cade rode into the yard well past midnight. He had not asked permission to leave or made any excuses for his disappearance. It wasn't the first time this had happened, and she didn't imagine it would be the last. As long as he got up the next day and did his work, she had no basis for complaint. But she wondered which woman back in town had claimed his attention.

They had been carefully avoiding each other this past month. Although there was no lock, she kept her window closed. The glass in it was rare and very expensive and she didn't think Cade would risk breaking it. And if Cade played the flute, the pane was doing a very good job of hiding the tempting music. Try as she might, she had never heard it again.

They had never returned to the Saturday night dance, either. She wasn't certain it was still held now that half the men in the territory had lit out to answer Austin's battle cry. The excitement generated by the retreat of the Mexican troops in Gonzales had been followed by a brief flurry of greater excitement when the Americans captured Goliad and the military stores there.

Since then, many of the farmers had been drifting back to see to their families, and even some of her own men had come back, complaining of bad food and poor orders. The land speculators had never really left. They were too busy selling swampland and counting their coins every time another contingent of settlers crossed the border, So perhaps there were enough people for a dance, but they might not feel like dancing.

Lily was about to return to bed when she saw the streak of light crossing the horizon. One of the men had told her about it, but she hadn't paid him much heed. Without a second thought, she was lifting the window and climbing out to better observe the phenomenon.

Cade saw her as he left the barn after wiping down his horse and settling it for the night. He remembered another night when he had seen her in ghostly white, and he almost turned back to the barn to avoid the apparition, but he, too, saw the light brightening the sky, and he stepped forward to admire it.

It was smaller now than it had been earlier in the month, but it was still a magnificent sight. Cade came to stand behind Lily as they both gazed up into the brilliantly lit heavens.

"Such a sign must signal some great change."

Lily felt the vibration of Cade's voice as much as heard it, just as she felt his physical presence more than saw it. Keeping her eyes on the spectacle in the sky, she tried not to react to the powerful pull this man exerted on her, but she might as well fight gravity. Her head came just a little above his shoulder. She knew he had only to reach out his arms and she would be within their circle. She could smell the scent of smoke on him, along with the odor of horse sweat and leather and a man scent all his own. She didn't smell perfume. She relaxed a fraction.

"Changes are not always for the better. Do the stars say whether this will be a good or bad change?" Lily asked.

"I think that depends on which side of the stars you stand. Change is always good for someone or there would not be change."

Sometimes he talked like a preacher. Since there hadn't been a man of the cloth in these parts in a coon's age, Lily was quite willing to accept Cade's interpretation of the heavens.

"Which side are you on, Cade?" she asked quietly.

Unwilling to answer the implications in that question, Cade gave the simple truth. "Mine."

His honesty appealed to her. When he stepped closer, lifted his hands to her sides, she didn't move away. With disappointment, she felt his hands drop as he stepped backward.

"They say it is called a comet and it is no more than a flying star. Some things never change." Lily wrapped her arms around herself and refused to look back at him.

"Perhaps. You shouldn't be out here dressed like that. You'll catch cold."

That wasn't all she would catch. Nodding to his wisdom, Lily walked away. Cade watched her go, feeling the knot twist tighter in his gut. She could be the pawn that would bring him what he sought. She could be the woman who would slake his lusts. She could be the woman to mother Serena. She could be many things, but most of them would make her better off without him. Could he steal her future in exchange for his own? His father had done that to his mother, but he had not known her as Cade knew Lily. It was much easier to steal a beautiful stranger than a friend.

* * *

"Look, Ma, I'm going to join the Greys!" Roy hoisted a carved gun to his shoulder, and with a gray piece of wool pulled over his head and strapped around his middle like a poncho, he sent his horse into a canter.

The New Orleans militia had marched through here earlier in the month, impressing the boy with their shining uniforms and laughter and air of adventure as they sought to join the Texas army. Even Lily had to admit to being impressed at the sight of such a finely-turned-out group of young men, and their gallantry had brightened her day. But after they were out of sight, she could only see them as cannon fodder, and she had been depressed for days.

She wasn't even certain what they were fighting for. Some idiots in town claimed it was for the Constitution of 1824, but that hadn't been worth the paper it was written on and was just as oppressive as this latest attempt to keep Texas corralled. It was much more likely that they were fighting to grab as much land as they could at the expense of the Mexican government and the poor settlers who tried to work this land in peace. Lily wished she could see it as a glorious cause, but she had met some of the principals over the years, and she wouldn't trust any of them with a catfish and a pole.

"He'll be fine with us. You can't worry about him all the time." Cade rode up behind Lily, catching her expression and partially interpreting it correctly.

"He's so young." Lily turned her head up to meet his gaze. "He's all I've got, Cade. I've got a right to worry."

"I'll take care of him as well as you take care of Serena. No man can say better than that."

"I know that." Sighing, she turned and waved Roy off as he cantered after Abraham. It was almost time to drive the cattle to New Orleans, but there weren't enough men to spare. Driving them in from the plains would take all the manpower they possessed.

Once Roy had the opportunity to ride out with the men, it was difficult to keep him inside to learn his books. All he could talk about was his pony and how Cade was teaching him to rope cattle and the best way to make the cattle move in the direction desired. Lily sighed in frustration and brushed her hair out of her face one morning when she found Roy's crudely scribbled note stating he had gone out with Cade. She had definitely not given him permission to do so.

She would have to put a stop to this before it got out of hand. Going back to her room, she dressed for riding, coming back in time to find her father and Juanita in earnest discussion while Serena sucked on a bacon strip.

At the sight of Lily, the child dropped the grubby bacon and came running, hands held out. "Mama! Play dolly."

Lily swept the little girl up in her arms and kissed her good morning, but she wouldn't allow herself to be distracted from her purpose. Serena had been calling her "mama" for weeks now. No amount of persuasion could convince her to do otherwise.

Juanita glanced anxiously at Lily's riding clothes. "You are riding out?"

"Roy took off with Cade this morning without my permission. I'm heading after him."

Juanita looked distressed, and Ephraim gave a warning cough before speaking.

"Some of those hired mercenaries they're calling volunteers kind of roughed up the town last night. Juanita's cousin was one of those injured. I kinda promised her I'd take her into town to help out."

Serena threw up her chubby hands and gurgled in delight when all eyes turned to her. The child couldn't be taken into town on such a mission. She would have to stay here.

Lily nodded her head in agreement with Juanita's silent plea. Juanita demanded very little and gave everything. And after all, her cousin was injured, possibly seriously, and Roy was quite safe—until he got home.

"I will look after Serena. Roy can miss a few hours of schoolwork. I'll just tan his hide when he comes in for dinner. You'd better take in supplies, and if there's anything else we can do, send word."

Both women understood each other implicitly without saying more. It didn't take much imagination to know what a bunch of randy men out on a lark would do in a town like this one. The Tejano women would be their first target. There wasn't a medicine invented to cure those kinds of injuries.

Lily wasn't used to feeling angry, but she seemed to feel that way most of the time anymore. She knew people were basically good. She knew she couldn't condemn an entire gender for the actions of a few. But she was having greater and greater difficulty finding excuses for those actions. She had to remind herself that Cade and Abraham and those of her hired hands who had returned were good men and would never join in that kind of rampage. Perhaps it was only those men with a military bent.

That wasn't right either, but it gave her anger a better focus than condemning the entire male population. Bouncing Serena on her hip, Lily waved as her father and Juanita rode off in the wagon. So, today she would have to stay home and play housewife and cook.

She wasn't totally useless in the kitchen. Carrying Serena out with her, Lily contemplated the beginnings of the meal Juanita had already started. The men expected the noon meal to be hearty, and those new hands Cade had hired were particularly voracious. If nothing else, this war or rebellion or whatever they called it made it necessary for her old hands to accept the odd assortment of new ones. Acceptance was easier than doubling their workload.

Contemplating the combination of Tejanos, Negroes, Indians, and some mixture in between that now represented her employee list, Lily took down a large can of beans, popped the bread dough in the woodstove, and regarded a sink full of freshly plucked chickens with relief. She could manage chickens just fine.