Tender savage (57 page)

Viper lay stretched out on his bed, his head propped on his hands and a pensive frown marring his handsome features as he recalled the strange twists the path of his life had taken during the year since the uprising had begun. He had taken a wife, then lost her, come close to death, then been granted a reprieve. Now he had a son he shared with the same man with whom he had been forced to share his wife. He could scarcely imagine what the next twelve months would ^bring when the last year had been filled with such an abundance of soul-searing events.

He had had no chance to speak alone with Erica and so had been left wondering what her father had said in his letter. Since her mood was such a good one, he knew Sarah must have failed to convince the man to help her carry out her threats. Then again, Sarah did not seem upset, either, which puzzled him completely, since she had made no secret of what she thought of his being there.

While Sarah had been away, Erica had recovered her strength, dismissed the wet nurse, and spent her time lavishing attention and affection upon their son. Viper was certain she had been too busy to notice the subtle changes in Mark's behavior that he had observed. At first he had thought the young man merely wanted to stay close to Erica and the baby when he no longer had any interest in going fishing or out for rides or walks. Then Mark had begun taking longer naps each afternoon and falling

asleep earlier at night, and Viper knew it was not simply the iMiby that kept him so close to home. The injured man ^ clearly had less energy than he had had only a few weeks earlier.

Concerned about the state of Mark's health. Viper had begun keeping track of how often he complained of severe headaches. When he had first come to the Hanson home, the man he had been hired to tend had suffered from that pain perhaps one day in five. For a while Mark had seemed better, eager to get out and enjoy the summer weather, but often at night he had felt unwell and needed laudanum to sleep. That had worried VijDer, for he did not want to be blamed for making Mark ill. Rather than continue suggesting activities to keep him busy, he had begun to wait for Mark to say he wanted to do something, and then he would arrange it. The headaches had still come, though. He glanced at the calendar on the small table beside his bed. There were three x's marked for the previous week. He was certain Erica knew about only one of those headaches. The others Mark had managed to hide from her with his extended naps and early bedtimes.

That Mark would try and deceive her touched Viper deeply. Mark might not be the same man he had known in Minnesota, but they had been rivals for Erica's love then, and now that they shared it, they were friends. When he had come there. Viper had promised to stay and help the woman he loved care for her invalid husband. Now it saddened him immeasurably to think that task might not last much longer. Mark had never been truly well, but now what health he had enjoyed was failing. Viper could not help but think the once vital young man would have been better off being killed on the battlefield than dying slowly at home. Then he thought of how dearly Mark loved the son he thought wais his own, and knew he would have been cheated of far more than his life had he missed having the joy of knowing the little boy.

A light knock at his door put an end to his sad reverie, and Viper leaped off his bed and rushed to answer it. When he found Erica clad in a flowing nightgown whose sheer folds were sweetly scented with lavender, he gaped in surprise. Her bright curls framed the faint blush in her cheeks, and since she had never come to his room before, his first thought was of her husband, and her charming

prettiness escajDed his notice completely. "Does Mark need me?" he asked anxiously.

Mystified by that greeting. Erica wondered if Viper would be disappointed to Team the truth. "No," she replied petulantly. "I do." She ducked under his arm, quickly surveyed his neatly kept quarters, then turned around to face him. "You've not come to my room since Stephen was born. Not once. I thought curiosity about my father's letter might lure you back to me tonight, but I got tired of waiting."

Viper carefully closed the door rather than slam it as her high-handed attitude inspired him to do. He then leaned back against it and crossed his arms over his bare chest while he studied her defiantly tilted chin with the coolest glance he could affect. He was wesiring only a pair of gray pants Mark had given him, but he considered himself well enough dressed to entertain her.

While she had made it clear how desperately she wanted him to stay with her, he had not thought she would be any more eager to maike love now than she had been before their child was bom. Not wanting to force the issue he had stayed away, hoping one day she would come to him. He had never expected she would be so angry when that day came, however. Trying to avoid an argument, he gave so novel an excuse he hojjed it would be believed. "Perhaps your customs are different from mine, but I did not think you would want me in your bed until after our son is weaned."

That was so preposterous a statement that Erica was flabbergasted by it. "You don't mean itl" she exclaimed, her expression clearly conveying the depth of her dismay as her hot temper was cooled by a chill wave of disbelief.

Viper was pleased he had succeeded in directing her anger away from himself for a change, but he frowned slightly, as though he were as confused as she. "Do white men sleep with their wives while they are nursing babies?" he asked cautiously.

"Well, of course they do," Erica assured him, still astonished to learn the Sioux did not. "I distinctly recall your telling me you followed few of the old customs. Is that one you plan to observe?"

"What if I did?" Viper asked slyly, unwilling to answer without knowing what difference his answer would make

to her.

Erica gestured helplessly, her mood now one of despair. "If only you had told me that before I dismissed the wet nurse, I would not have let her go. I won't nurse our son myself if it means we can't make love."

Not wanting this astonishing conversation to end poorly. Viper took Erica's hand and led her over to the bed to be seated, since the room had only one straight-backed chair which was none too comfortable. When she had settled herself upon the single bed in what he regarded as a delightfully distracting pose, since it was obviously unintentional, he continued. "While I did share your bed before Stephen was born, you were always too miserable to have any interest in making love, so I thought you would be happy if I allowed you to sleep alone now. Are you telling me all I've done is make you unhappy instead?" Now that she had not only Mark dependent upon her loving care, but a new baby as well, he had thought she would have little time to spend thinking about him. He was flattered to think he might have been wrong, but he suppressed the impulse to grin from ear to ear.

At that question, Erica suddenly felt as self-conscious as she knew Sarah had once felt around her father. She had expected him to fling open his door and welcome her enthusiastically. That he had not had left her both surprised and hurt. Now he claimed he had not been neglecting her at all, that her disappointment in him was the result of a misunderstanding. She looked down at her hands, silently cursing the scar as she spoke. "It's been a long while since we've had any time to talk. I know how difficult living here is for you, but it is difficult for me, as well."

Viper sat down by her side and began to slip his fingers through her gorgeous cascade of glossy curls. Her hair was so long it reached clear past her waist, and he loved the way the light of the lamp danced upon the soft waves. But not nearly so much as he loved her. "At first you were too sick to want company. Erica, and since I know how seriously you take your wedding vows, I did not think you would want me to spend my nights with you anymore. I can hardly keep my hands off you during the day, at night it would be impossible. I wish you had asked me to come to

your room before now, if that's what you really wanted."

She had come to him craving the tumultuous love she had once known in his arms, but he was being so coolly logical she wished she had stayed in her room. "There are always so many people around," she complained sadly. "If we do not see each other at night, then when can we be together?" she asked rather shyly, afraid her company was not nearly as important to him as his was to her. "Do Indian men not bother to speak to their wives if they do not plan to make love to them? Are all of them so rude as that?"

"I am trying to do as you have asked again and again, to resp>ect your marriage to Mark, and you call me rude?" Viper resp)onded bluntly. "Will you make up your mind what it is you want, then tell me, so I will know, too?" Erica tried to move off the bed then, but he reached for her arm and kept her at his side. "I'm sorry. I do not want to fight with you. Now tell me what was in your father's letter. I have waited all day to hear."

Hoping she could save her pride by giving a brief report of the letter and then excusing herself. Erica attempted to do just that and concluded promptly. "So you see, he knows who you are, but he is being more symp>athetic than I had any hope he would be. Perhaps that's what love has done to his outlook."

Viper suspected there was more to Lars's kindness than love for Sarah could explain, but he did not want to cite the physician's regard for Mark's fragile health as a possible reason. "I would like to read the letter," he said mstead.

"You don't believe what I told you?" Erica asked, clearly offended.

Viper shook his head, sorry he had upset her needlessly when that was exactly what he was trying not to do. He rose to his feet and took her hand to help her up. "I believe you. Let me walk you back to your room. We can't hear the baby cry up here."

Crushed by the practicality of his rejection. Erica didn't argue. She had been so excited by her father's letter, and so tired of pretense, all she had wanted was to spend the night in Viper's arms. What he wanted her to do, apparently, was to tend his son. She loved the baby dearly, but she loved him too, and she didn't like being ignored, no matter

how noble his excuse might have been for his extended absence from her room.

Determined not to cry in front of him, when they reached her room Erica wished the brave a soft goodnight, then slipped through her door. At night she leU the lamp on the oressing table turned down low so she would not have to waste time lighting it should the baby need her attention. When Viper followed her into the dimly lit room she turned and regarded him with a curious glance. "Did you want to see the letter?" she asked, thinking that must be what he wanted.

Viper closed the door behind him and crossed the short distance between them in a single stride. "I have done my best to help you care for your husband and our son. If only I had known you wanted more of me, I would have given it gladly. After all, it has been longer since I made love than, you," he confided with a teasing smile, hoping to make| her laugh, but he did not succeed.

"What are you talking about?" Erica asked in a tense, whisper. She didn't want to wake the sleeping babe, but! she didn't want him to misunderstand her relationship' with Mark, either.

Since what he had meant was so damn obvious to him. Viper felt like a fool having to explain. "Was Mark so poor a lover you have forgotten being with him already?"

The room was very still. The baby was sleeping soundly, and Erica was worried their voices might wake him. She turned away from Viper and went over to the windows, then waited until he followed her to reply. "Mark and I have never made love. Wren cut me up too badly, and then he had to report for duty. The last time I made love was with you."

Viper stared at the delicate woman, wondering if she could ix)ssibly be so incredibly stupid as she sounded. It was impossible for him to hold his temper in check now, and overwhelmed by it, he shouted at her, "Erica, if you never slept with Mark, then you are not his wife! Did you think you had to do no more than repeat pretty promises ] to be married?"

Erica raised her hand to his lips in a frantic attempt to silence him, but it was too late. Baby Stephen had been starded as badly as she, and he began to cry in a pitiful

jwail. Without replying to Viper's astounding accusation, jshe went to the cradle to pick up her son. When changing his diaper and a few minutes of cuddling would not stop his tears, she carried him to the rocking chair and sat jdown. She had fed him before going up to me third floor to see Viper, but knowing of no other way to get him back to sleep, she loosened the ribbon at the neckline of her gown iso he could nurse again. Since she had no idea how to lanswer Viper, she hoped he would have the sense to leave. When she looked up a few minutes later, she was surprised to find he had not.

This was not the first time he had watched Erica nurse their child, but as always, the sight of them together filled him with an embarrassing combination of pride and desire. How could she have come to him to complain he had not visited her room when it had taken every bit of self-control he had to stay away? He walked over to the rocking chair and knelt down by her side.

"I did not mean to wake him," he apologized as he patted the little boy's back lightly. It had not been half an hour since he had thought to himself that his life could not get any more complicated, but Erica had just turned his world upside down again, and he was more shaken than he would admit. He waited patiently for his son to drift off to sleep again, and as soon as Erica placed him in his crib he took her hand and led her back to the windows. This time he sat down on the cushioned window seat and pulled her down across his lap so even if he whispered very softly she could hear him.

"Hell can have no tortures worse than what you and I have suffered this last year. I promise not to yell at you again, but how could you not have known your marriage to Mark was not a legal one?"

As flustered as he. Erica slipjjed her arms around Viper's neck. "I never even thought about it. He and I were married by a minister, and you and I weren't. I thought Mark and I were married, I really did. Are you certain that we aren't?"