Tender Graces (14 page)

With Mee Maw’s money, we had plenty of Christmas presents that year. They were piled under the tinseled-up tree, wrapped in red, gold, and silver foil, with big green ribbons. Momma said, “Just the four of us, I reckon.” She turned teary-eyed and decided to invite Aunt Ruby to have Christmas with us.

Micah was in the kitchen when Momma dialed her up and invited her. He winked big and silly at me. When Momma went out to get the clothes off the line, Micah called Aunt Ruby back.

“Aunt Ruby. Momma said to tell you she’s changed her mind.” He wiggled his eyebrows at me. “No, she said you aren’t welcome anymore. You stink like a monkey’s ass.” I heard hollering on the line as Micah hung up. He laughed, slapping his knee.

The phone rang and Micah didn’t answer it.

“You’re going to be in so much trouble.”

“No I won’t. Just wait.” He hummed along as he made himself some cinnamon toast.

Later, Momma hollered for Micah and me.

Micah came in with a smile, but I trudged in.

Momma said, “Why did you call my sister and tell her that? You answer me right now!”

“Momma, I don’t know what you’re talking about. Ask Vee.”

I shook my head, pretending it was the silliest thing I ever heard.

Micah made sweet eyes. “I don’t know what’s wrong with her, Momma. Maybe she didn’t really want to come and she’s just trying to start something.”

“You don’t know that,” Momma said.

“You know she hates us. Remember what she did to us, Momma?”

Momma blinked slow. “Well, maybe she’s drinking too much again.”

Micah left the room, first giving me a grin where Momma couldn’t see.

The next day while Momma was having coffee with Mrs. Mendel, Micah called Aunt Ruby again. “Momma said you’re a fat whore and she never wants to see you again.”

Same as before, later Aunt Ruby called up Momma and Momma called Micah into the living room, her face as red as a fat baby’s butt. “Micah Dean Carey, did you dial up Aunt Ruby and call her a fat whore?”

Micah’s eyes went big and round. “I don’t even know what that word means, Momma! Isn’t that a nasty word?”

“Well, she used to torture the hell out of me when we were growing up. Come to think of it, she lied like a dog back then and she’s probably lying like one now! I don’t know why I invited her in the first place. I’m going to un-invite her right this minute!”

I drank my milk so I wouldn’t say, “Yeehaww!”

“Whatever you think is best, Momma,” Micah said. “Hey, want me to draw your picture? You look pretty today.”

Christmas day, and no Aunt Ruby, we jumped up early and opened our presents. My presents were puzzle books,
Tom Sawyer
, a Slinky, a hula hoop, clothes, and a new bike. Micah’s were paints, three real canvases to paint on, clothes, Parcheesi, and a new bike. Andy got trucks, cars, and boats, Play Doh, clothes, and a new bike, too. Three bikes! We had surely died and gone to Rich People Land. Momma made a big Christmas feast of turkey, potatoes with gravy, stuffing, and pumpkin and cherry pie. We played with our toys and ate the nuts and chocolate Momma put into our Christmas sacks. I kept waiting for the door to open and Daddy to walk in, grinning his I’m full-of-Christmas-cheer grin. When it was time for lunch, Andy didn’t want to eat. He sat at the table without picking up his fork.

Momma said, “Eat, Andy. Look at this feast!”

“Waitin’ for Daddy.” Andy stuck out his lower lip so far it covered his plate.

“Daddy’s not coming, stupid.” Micah tore into his food before it could get up and walk off.

“Micah, don’t call your little brother stupid. I mean it.”

“I want Daddy.” Andy had on a pointy chin like Momma.

I said, “He’s going to surprise us.”

“He’s not coming, Seestor. Geez, when are you and Andy going to learn?” He ate a big scoop of mashed potatoes and let some ooze out of his teeth.

“He’s going to surprise us.” I took a bite of turkey, swallowing it before it was chewed enough.

Micah rolled his eyes and helped himself to more potatoes.

Andy picked up his fork. “Yaay, Daddy’s coming!”

Momma pinched her nose. “Look, we’ll call your daddy right now. Will that suit you?”

“Yes Ma’am,” Andy and I said. Micah stabbed more turkey and said nothing.

Momma dialed Mee Maw’s house, her mouth pulled tight with those lifted ends barely lifted. “Laudine, this is Katie.” She twirled the phone cord. “Yeah, Merry kissmyass to you.”

Micah laughed and I shushed him.

“I said, Merry Christmas to you, Laudine.” She looked over at us and winked. “Look, is your pweshush son there? My babies think he’s on the way here.” She twisted the phone line around her hand. “Yes, that’s what they think and no, no one is talking to nobody. We’re eating our feast. So, is he there?”

All three of us stared, even Micah, waiting to see what Mee Maw would say.

“Uh huh. Okay, thanks.” She hung up, said, “He’s not coming kids. Andy, you’ll have to deal with it, sweet pea. He’s at your grandmother’s eating ‘so she won’t be aw awone’. Boo hoo, poor old woman with all that money can’t fly herself and her son here to see his family. A crock of it, I’ll tell you.”

The phone rang and Momma didn’t answer it. It stopped after five rings and started up again. Momma sat at the table, cut her meat, and put it in her mouth, chewing, nothing mattered but the food in her mouth. I thought Andy would raise up a fit, but he ate same as Momma. Micah shrugged and reached for the gravy. I drank some milk to get the lump down.

When the phone stopped ringing, Momma took a deep breath and let it out slow. “Kids, I’m sorry, okay? There’s nothing to do about it but enjoy all the good we got today. Sometimes people are just rotten in Denmark.”

“Thanks for the food, Momma.” Micah grinned at her, gravy around his mouth and on his shirt.

“You’re welcome. Wipe your mouth.”

And that was that, we finished eating and said nothing more about Daddy. But I was so mad I could’ve spit nails and made a house with them.

After we cleaned up everything (and the boys helped for once), we ran outside to ride our bikes in the cold. Momma sat on the steps and drank Christmas happy drinks with Mrs. Mendel. I pretended my bike was a trusty steed. I thought about how Daddy should be right beside Momma. I thought about what Micah said, about how I should forget we had a Daddy since he forgot about us.

I pretended that he tried to come but Mee Maw needed him. He couldn’t get on a plane because they didn’t have any seats left. The weather kept him home. He was too sick to drive. I pictured him going back to his poor lonely apartment with a teeny Christmas tree, not the big one like we bought with Mee Maw’s money. He wouldn’t have any presents, except for the things we sent him.

All alone. That’s how I thought he was.

Chapter 12

Daddy got himself a slut

1965

In the spring, when the wind blew so gentle that nothing could go wrong, Daddy came to us in a blue Corvair convertible. We’d been doing just fine without him, at least that’s what Momma said. I was swinging on the swing, trying to figure out what I wanted to take a picture of when I heard the car roaring down the long road. When he pulled up, I didn’t know it was him at first. And he wasn’t alone.

He jumped out of the car wearing a leather jacket, a cowboy hat, and a mustache. I ran up to give him a hug. His lips were cool when he kissed my cheek and his mustache tickled. He grinned like a monkey while looking around the yard asking, “Where’s my little Andy? Where’s Micah?” I didn’t have time to answer before Daddy galloped up the steps and knocked at the door before going in. I forgot I was mad at him for not coming at Christmas.

The woman stayed in the car. When she pushed back her scarf, her red-blond hair caught up in a sudden wind. She turned to smile at me, and her front teeth had a little space between them. She took off her sunglasses and her eyes matched the green scarf. She looked as if she had no secrets, as if all her life was honest and good—but I knew we all have secrets, so she must have them, too.

She said, “You must be Virginia Kate.”

I stared at her.

“I’ve heard all about you and your brothers.” She looked in the backseat, then at me again. “I brought y’all gifts. Do you like books? I have an art book for Micah,
Black Beauty
for you, and a coloring book and colors for Andy.”

I stepped closer, cut my eyes to the backseat.

She held out a pack of Juicy Fruit. Her hands were like mine, used to prying things open, digging in gardens, poking into tree holes, burying dead birds. I didn’t take the gum, so she set it down. “Yes, well then. This is where y’all live.”

I nodded, twisting up my feet in the grass.

“I’m Rebekha.”

Micah came from behind the house, stood by me, looked at Rebekha, and said in a loud voice, “Momma said Daddy got himself a slut. Is that you?”

She pulled back her shoulders. “We’ll wait for your daddy so he can answer that.”

Micah leaned on the car. “What does slut mean?”

“What, Hon?”

“What’s that mean?”

“I suppose it means your mother isn’t happy with your father right now.”

“Momma said you’re a home-breaker-upper.”

I pinched his arm so’s he’d shut up.

“I see.” Rebekha held out the pack of gum to Micah. He took three pieces, opening, then cramming, them all in his mouth.

Daddy stepped out the door and strode over like a rooster. “Rebekha, I see you’ve met Miss Virginia Kate and Mister Micah.”

“Yes, we’re having a nice chat.”

“Baby Bug, Micah, this is your new step-momma.” He put his hand on Rebekha’s shoulder. “My new wife.”

I felt like the time my old grass swing broke and I knocked all the air out of me when I landed on my backside. Micah turned to Daddy and spit out his gum by Daddy’s feet.

Daddy was fast-tapping on Rebekha’s shoulder.

I turned to Micah, but he ran away.

Daddy leaned over and whispered into Rebekha’s ear, she whispered back into his. Daddy walked back into the house.

I left Rebekha, and sneaked around to listen at the window.

Momma was fussing up a storm. “ . . . taking any crap off you and that slut you got there in your dandy little car. Mommy buy that for her wittle boy?”

“Don’t talk about Rebekha like that. And it’s none of your business what my mother does or does not do.”

“I just bet it’s not my business.”

“I didn’t come to argue. I came to see my children.”

“Mr. High and Mighty. Who married some other woman without telling his kids, or me?”

“I wanted to tell them in person. You, too.”

“Why Fred?
Why
? I loved you.”

It was so quiet; I heard my breath come in and out. Was Daddy thinking things over? Was he going to tell her he loved her, too? I waited, hoping. Daddy would come home, he’d tell the woman in the car that he was sorry, but he had a family in West Virginia.

“You have a lot of nerve, Katie.”

My heart sank down to my toes.

“I had our babies and I took care of this house. What do you think that is?”

“Might I remind you that you didn’t have
all
of
our
babies.”

“You
bastard.
”

Someone took up to crying, and Daddy asked, “Andy, what are you doing under there?”

“Andy, to your room, right this minute,” Momma said.

I heard Andy stomping off, cloggy voice saying, “I orter run away! I’m sadder than ever in my life.”

Daddy was saying, “ . . . came to see the children, not argue with you.”

“Ha! After all this time—”

“—I needed to get settled first.”

“Settled? What a shit you are.”

“I had to do this, for the children’s future.”

“Okay, Mr. Shakeshit, prove what kind of daddy you are. Take Micah back with you.”

Buzzing started up all around my head.

“Take Micah?”

“What I said.”

“I have a new wife. She’s still adjusting.”

“You bake the cake, Fred.”

“I need more time. Let me talk to Rebekha.”

“They’re your kids, too. Don’t matter if you try to make a whole new family in place of this one.”

“You’re being unreasonable.”

“You just talk like you want to be a good daddy. All talk. Blah blah blah.”

“Okay, then. Fine. Micah will leave with us. Does that satisfy you?”

“Sure, I’m all happied up over you leaving, then Micah leaving. Just take bites out of me until I’m all eat up.”

“Don’t give me the martyr crap.”

“That woman’ll run screaming back to wherever she came from once you hold your kid in her face.”

“‘Asses are made to bear.’”

“Screw you and your Shakesweird.”

Daddy’s shoes stomped hard across the floor.

Momma hollered for Micah, then opened the back door and hollered for him again. My head was tight around my brain. I ran inside. Micah wasn’t in his room. I threw myself into his closet and the light from the keyhole was bright. I closed my eyes. I was riding up my sweet mountain on Fionadala. I heard my name called. I rode harder, her hooves making thunder. My name again. I put my face in her sweaty neck. I fell right back down to earth when I heard the screen door make its
scrang
sound and Micah hollered, “Vee! Vee! Hurry!”

When I ran to the back, Micah stood holding a big green suitcase. He went over to the maple, broke a piece of limb, and put it his pocket. He wore clean jeans and a checkered shirt buttoned all the way to his chin. His eyes were dark and hard as he looked back at me. I saw how handsome he would be one day. We walked together to the front yard. Andy came outside and stood beside us. I had a clog of frogs in my throat.

Andy said, “Why’re you going?”

“Have to.” That’s all Micah answered.

I grabbed Micah and held on. He didn’t push me away and call me a pest. I looked over at Rebekha and decided I had to hate her. She was watching us while Daddy leaned in talking to her. She never looked at Daddy while he talked, just kept her eyes on us. She looked sad, but I didn’t care. Daddy walked over and took Micah’s suitcase. Andy wrapped himself around Daddy’s legs and said, “Daddy, you don’t got to go run off.”