Authors: Susan Mallery
She should point out to Dani that she couldn't let other people's opinions run her life. That was the right thing to do. But before she could decide if she was that mature or not, Dani said, “No, it's not the poll numbers. Alex accused me of that, too.”
“Really?”
Dani nodded. Her eyes were dark and filled with pain. “I'm sorry about the numbers, but that's not the reason. He thought I was running away. To make things easier.”
“You're not?”
“No.” Dani swallowed. “I thinkâ¦I think he might still be seeing Fiona. She came to talk to me and she made a really good case for that.”
Katherine could feel Dani's pain. The other woman looked at her.
“You know them both. Is it possible? Could Alex still be seeing Fiona?”
It was like an out-of-body experience, Katherine thought as she seemed to stare down at the room. She could see herself sitting on the sofa. So perfect, she thought, taking in the cashmere sweater, the pearls. She was a cliché. A cliché whose life had been turned upside down by the proof that her husband could father children when she couldn't have them herself.
She argued that it wasn't Dani's fault. That she hadn't knowingly brought this humiliation to Katherine. That the fact that she and Bailey got along was a good thing. She could hear her mother's voice telling her to always be a lady.
Screw that, she thought bitterly. For once she was going to do exactly what she wanted to do. What felt right and would make her hurt a little less.
She looked at Dani and lied. “I don't want to hurt you, but I do think it's very possible Alex and Fiona are seeing each other.”
A
LEX WALKED INTO
his father's office at campaign headquarters. He knew Mark was in a meeting and that Katherine had come in for a photo shoot. She stood in front of the wall map of the country.
“Do you have a minute?” he asked.
She turned and smiled at him. “Of course. I'm stuck standing until the photographer is ready. I can't muss or wrinkle. I can barely make an expression at all, so don't be funny or all this makeup will crack.”
He grinned. “Makes me want to ruffle your hair.”
“Naturally. Why is it that the small boy always lives inside the man?”
“One of my gender's many charms.”
“Yes, it is.” She tilted her head. “What's going on? What do you want to talk about?”
His humor faded. He closed the door for privacy and moved toward her. “What would you say if I told you I wanted to leave the campaign?”
Her blue eyes widened. “Alex, no.” She reached out and put her hand on his arm. “Seriously? You hate it that much?”
“Yeah. This isn't me or what I want. I'm not a political animal. But I said I'd help and he's my father.”
She nodded. “Right. Loyalty to family. Doing the right thing.” She dropped her hand. “I'm the wrong person to ask about this.”
“Because you're too close to what's going on?”
“That, and⦔ She drew in a breath. “I know about doing what's expected. Sometimes when we go the other way we feel free and sometimes we just feel like crap. Do you know which it's going to be for you?”
“I'm not sure it matters,” he told her. “I never thought I'd get caught in the middle of something like this. I know where my loyalties lie and I still can't make myself want to stay.”
“This campaign is a complication in all our lives,” she said. “Especially now.”
He looked at her. “You mean because of Dani?”
“She keeps things interesting. Not that it's her fault. It's just uncomfortable timing.”
“She's hurt you, hasn't she?”
Katherine turned back to the map and touched the center of Texas. “Not really. She isn't responsible for what people say or how I react to it.”
“She'll be less of an issue now. We're not seeing each other.”
His mother tensed slightly. “What happened?”
“I don't know. That's the thing of it. I really thought she was someone I could care about. After Fiona I didn't want to get involved again. I didn't want to trust anyone like that. But Dani was different.”
More than different. There'd been something about her. He'd wanted to spend every moment with her. He wanted to know everything about her. He could see a future with her.
“And now?” his mother asked.
“She got upset about the poll numbers, which I get, but then she accused me of still seeing Fiona.” The accusation burned. Dani
knew
what he thought of his ex-wife's betrayal. She knew loyalty was everything to him and yet she'd still claimed to believe he was screwing around. With Fiona of all people. What the hell was up with that?
Katherine turned back to him. “Are you seeing her?”
“No,” he said flatly. “I would never cheat, and I'll never go back to Fiona. I just don't get it. Why her? Why would Dani think I was seeing her?”
Katherine knew exactly why. Because that's what Fiona had told her.
Her stomach twisted and she fought the need to vomit. How could she have lied to Dani like that? How could she have gotten in between Dani and Alex? She loved her son and if Dani made him happyâ¦
But the relationship was already over, she reminded herself. She hadn't really destroyed anything.
A feeble attempt to pass the blame, to not accept responsibility.
She told herself that the right thing to do was to confess her part in all this and ask for forgiveness. She opened her mouth, then closed it. Right now her world was already askew. Seeing disappointment in Alex's eyes, knowing she'd lowered herself to lying because of her own hurt feelings, was more than she could bear.
“She thinks Fiona's pregnant,” he said, his voice thick with disbelief. “What kind of crap is that?”
“Maybe she is.”
He looked at her, then swore. “Pregnant? Fiona? She never wanted kids.”
Katherine blinked in surprise. “What are you talking about? She always said she wanted a family.”
“It was just talk,” Alex told her. “I bought into it, too. But when we were married, every time I pressed her to get started on our family she had a reason we should wait. She didn't want children. So if she's pregnant now, it's got to be an accident.”
“Or a way to make trouble,” Katherine murmured, wondering how far her former daughter-in-law would go to get Alex back. Would she get pregnant by another man and try to pass that child off as Alex's?
“You really haven't slept with her recently?” she asked, then waved her hand. “Forget I'm your mother. I'm serious, Alex. Have you been seeing her at all?”
He met her gaze. “No. The day I moved out of the house was the day I walked in on her with someone else. I didn't want you to know thatâyou're still friends with her. But that's what finally ended our marriage.”
Her heart tightened with pain. She ached for her child and what he'd gone through. Tears filled her eyes.
“Oh, Alex.”
She walked over and hugged him.
“You'll muss,” he told her.
“Screw that.”
He chuckled. “You're getting feisty. It's charming.”
“Oh, please. Don't treat me like I'm old and infirm. I'll get there soon enough.”
“You'll never be that.”
She stepped back and stared into his handsome face. How she loved this man. She'd loved the boy and every day her feelings had grown. She couldn't have loved him more if she'd given birth to him herself.
That was her absolute truth, she reminded herself. That she loved her children completely. No one could take away the specialness of their bondânot without her letting them.
“I have to tell you something,” she said as the tears once again burned. “I did something awful.”
He smiled at his mother. “Not you.”
“I'm serious. And I'm sorry. What I'm about to tell you could damage our relationship. I can't tell you how much I regret that. I was hurt and angry and I wanted to hurt someone. I wanted to hurt Dani. That was deeply wrong of me. I know that. I'm ashamed of myself. I don't expect you to forgive me right away, but I hope that in time you won't hate me.”
Alex stared back at her. She knew he'd probably never seen her like this. His face reflected his unease.
“Mom, it's okay,” he told her. “Whatever it is, we'll fix it.”
“I can't fix this, but maybe you can.” She swallowed. “Dani came to see me a couple of days ago. We went over the speech, or we tried to. She was upset about a lot of things, but mostly you. She told me Fiona had come to her and told her you were still seeing each other. Fiona had information that seemed to only come from her having been in your house.”
Alex swore. “She's never been there. I haven't had her over.”
“I know that, but there are other ways. She could have found out you had put in an offer on the house and then gone to see it herself. Who knows? The point is she convinced Dani she was pregnant and that the child was yours.”
Katherine folded her arms across her chest. “I'm sorry, Alex. I'm so sorry. Feeble, feeble words. I've always prided myself on being a good person. It's a joke. All of it. I'm living a lie.”
“You're not.” He grabbed her shoulders. “You're the best person I know.”
“I'm not. Oh, God. I'm so scared to tell you.”
She looked at him. Tears darkened her eyes. Her pain and regret was a tangible beast in the room.
“There's nothing you can say to make me turn away from you,” he told her, meaning every word.
“You don't know that. Dani wanted to know if I thought it was possible you and Fiona were still seeing each other. I told her it was.”
He stepped back. Of all the Canfields, Dani most trusted Katherine. Hearing that from her would make it all the more real.
“I know,” Katherine said, tears spilling down her cheeks. “I know it was horrible and wrong and I have no excuse or explanation. I was hurt and I lashed out. I⦔ She turned away. “I'm sorry.”
He didn't think he could have been more shocked if she'd told him she'd murdered someone. Katherine didn't act out of anger or impulse. She wasn't deliberately cruel. He would never have guessed her capable of hurting Daniâ¦or him.
He didn't know what to think or say. While a part of him knew he had to find Dani and talk to her, explain the complexities that had conspired against them, the rest of him wrestled with the uncomfortable truth that his mother was not the saint he'd always believed.
“Alex?” Her voice was a whimper. “I'm sorry.”
“I know,” he told her, knowing being sorry wasn't going to fix anything.
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“T
HIS WAS A HARD DECISION
for me to make,” Dani said earnestly, wondering if knowing she felt guilty would help. “You've been so great and I've loved working here. I really want to stay until you find someone else. I'm not leaving you short-staffed.”
Bernie shook his head. “You're worrying too much. We'll be fine. I have family I can guilt into working here temporarily.” He grinned. “I learned from the best.”
“I adore your mother,” she murmured, knowing she would miss hearing Mama Giuseppe's constant comments on everything from the weather to the state of the cannelloni.
“She adores you. I'll bet you won't miss hearing about how perfect I am.”
Dani sighed. “If only you were a few years younger.”
He chuckled. “Or you were older.” He put out his hand. “Go with God, Dani. You're taking a job with family. That's always the right decision. Give me a couple of weeks to start looking, but no longer. You need to start on the next chapter of your life.”
“You're being a lot nicer than I deserve.”
He shrugged. “I'm a nice guy.”
He was. Perfectly nice. Despite the age difference, she should have fallen for him instead of Alex. Bernie wouldn't cheat and lie and break her heart.
She forced her mind away from thoughts of Alex because thinking about him was too painful.
She shook hands with Bernie, then rose. “You're a good man. Thank you for everything.”
He released her hand and pointed to the door. “Now get out of here before I change my mind.”
She waved and left.
She would miss Bella Roma, but working at Buchanan's felt right. She was grateful she'd made up her mind before finding out the truth about Alex. She didn't have to worry that her decision was too much like giving up and running home.
A quick glance at her watch told her she had to leave right away or she would be late picking up Bailey for their shopping trip. She'd nearly made it to the back door when one of the wait-staff yelled for her.
“Phone call. A guy. Alex somebody?”
It was the first time she'd heard from him in four days. She hated that her first reaction was pleasure. How bad did it have to get before she was willing to see him for the snake he was?
“Tell him I've already left,” she said.
“Will do.”
Dani grabbed her cell phone and turned it off. There was nothing Alex could say to her that she wanted to hear.
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A
N HOUR AND A HALF LATER
, she was in an oversized dressing room with Bailey and laughing so hard she was afraid she was going to pee her pants.
“Stop!” she insisted, as Bailey danced like a chicken in a seriously ugly, yellow tulle gown. “Stop, I swear, I'm too old. I'll collapse or something.”
“But it's so fluffy,” Bailey said, actually doing a fair imitation of the horrible salesclerk “helping” them. “And the yellow is so perfect for my hair.”
Dani blinked away tears and sank onto the floor. “I give,” she said. “This place is awful. We'll go to another store where they have pretty dresses.”
“But I want to be a chicken,” Bailey insisted, her eyes twinkling with humor.
“Sure you do. Oh, man, what was that woman thinking?”
She'd brought in four dresses, each worse than the one before. One had been marked down three times and Dani wasn't surprised. Who would buy it?
They'd been to other stores in the mall and nothing like this had happened. Was the salesclerk reacting to the fact that Bailey had Down's syndrome? Dani didn't want to think so, but she had a bad feeling that might be the problem.