Tempt Me Twice 1 (8 page)

Sucking in a deep breath, I blurted out the rest of it.

“My brothers and my sisters, my mom, my mom’s boyfriends... they always want something from me.” Resentment towards the group of people who were supposed to love me no matter what surfaced, and I felt my brow furrow. “I’m sick of it. And I really need that money back. I don’t know if the bank will give it to me.”

Drawing every bit of bravery that I possessed around me like a cloak, I laid my palms flat on the table, drew in a deep breath, and looked Jax square in the eye.

“I’m going to go home to stand up for myself.” My fingers trembled against the vinyl of the tabletop; even Jax’s quick smile of approval couldn’t stop that.

“There’s a... reason... that I can’t go by myself. A person I can’t be around. So I want—I need—someone to come with me. You.”

Given what I knew about Jax, I’d expected him to demand to know who it was, exactly, that I couldn’t see. I’d envisioned the rage that he’d feel, that he’d show, on my behalf. Not that I needed a champion—I’d survived on my own—but it would have been nice for someone, anyone, to be angry on my behalf. To
care
.

I hadn’t expected that Jax would look stricken, or panicked, or disgusted.

“Kayla... I can’t leave Fish Lake.” There was a darkness in his words that I’d never heard before, and my gaze flew automatically to the faint silver scars that striped his knuckles. “I’ve told you that before.”

“I...” I’d pushed it out of my mind because he’d never told me why he couldn’t go, but I now remembered the conversation well. We’d been sitting on a bluff overlooking the lake, and Jax had shown me his scars. He’d alluded to the fact that some bad shit had gone down the last time he’d left town, and that because of that, he couldn’t bring himself to leave again.

If anyone could empathize with psychological trauma, it was me. I couldn’t believe I’d driven all the way out here to ask him something when clearly the very thought of what I was asking hurt him.

And the disgust on his face... well, I was pretty disgusted with myself, too.

“I’m sorry. I’m so insensitive. I... I just...” Clenching my hands in my lap, I dug the tips of my fingers into the rough denim that covered my thighs. I felt horribly guilty, but more than that, I felt despair.

I wanted to carry on on my own, to say to hell with it and face down my family on my own. But my own psychological scars ran so deep that I knew it would never happen.

I kissed my money and my stint in law school goodbye.

“I’m so sorry.” I looked up into Jax’s eyes, forced myself to show him how sincere I was. Panic still tightened his features—panic that I had placed there.

“I shouldn’t have asked. I’m so sorry.” Sliding out of the booth, I dug into the pocket of my jeans and removed my remaining twenty, then threw it down on the table. I was going to have to convince my credit card company to up my limit before I could even leave town, since my tank was nearly on empty.

“Kayla, where are you going?” Jax stood abruptly as I turned, shaking my head to hide the helpless tears.

“I’m sorry. I’m not feeling well.” I had to get out of there. Just thinking about going back alone transported me straight into the sickening, cloying heat of my home state, to my own bedroom where the hot air was still and quiet, where no one cared if I screamed. Claustrophobia drew me out the front door of the diner and down Main Street to Jax’s shop.

Damn it, I was going to be sleeping in my car after all. I’d burned two major bridges in the course of a day, so I probably deserved it.

Fumbling with the lock on the driver’s side door, I went to slide in. A strong hand wrapped itself around my upper arm, holding me still, and I jerked away as hard as I could, a short scream issuing from my throat.

I couldn’t handle people touching me like that. I whirled my head around and glared, and Jax released me and held his hands up in a gesture of peace.

“Sorry.  I didn’t mean to scare you.” Reaching out more slowly now, so that I could see the touch coming, he tugged me gently from the car and closed the door. “But you’re not driving anywhere while you’re upset.”

That he was being so kind after I’d been so thoughtless just made me feel worse.

“I’m not driving anywhere,” I snapped, my hands clenching into fists. “I’m going to sleep in my car.”

I watched the shift from concern to anger with fascination.

“The hell you are.” A muscle in Jax’s jaw twitched. “Why the hell would you want to do that?”

“I’ve been an inconvenient enough guest as it is.” Damn it, I wasn’t going to cry in front of him. I
wasn’t
.

I managed to hold back the tears, but I couldn’t stop the gut-wrenching sob.

“
Kayla
.” Frustration, concern and something else entirely were all mixed in Jax’s voice as he growled out my name. Fisting his hands in the hair that had fallen loose from its ponytail on my run back from the diner, he forced my face upwards, so that I had to look at him.

“I wish, more than anything, that I could be the person you need me to be. But just because I can’t doesn’t mean that you did something wrong.”

My body began to quiver, partly because I was still so upset, and partly because when Jax had caught his hands in my hair he’d boxed me in against my car, our bodies no more than a whisper apart.

“No. I’ve taken advantage of you already.” My throat felt swollen with unshed tears. Damn it, if I lost Jax as a friend in the same two day span as everything else that had happened, I had no idea what I was going to do.

Jax growled—there was no other word for it. Startled, I blinked up at him.

“You are staying with me. Now get upstairs, or so help me, I’ll carry you up there myself.”

“Like hell you will.” I gaped at him, unable to help it. I was so angry over everything that had happened, and he’d just proved himself a worthy target. “Don’t you dare.”

“Kayla.” This time when he said my name it was full of dangerous intent. It was the thought of the exquisite torture that being carried against his body would be that finally had me grinding my teeth together and stalking towards the garage.

I seethed silently as I followed Jax upstairs. I knew that I wasn’t being overly rational, but I was sick of being told what to do, of having my life ordered against everything that
I 
wanted.

But by the time Jax had held the door open for me and conspicuously given me some space, I’d cooled off enough to realize that I was being a complete bitch. I silently brushed my teeth and changed into the tank top and shorts that I slept in, berating myself as I did.

He was one hell of a friend. It was just too bad for me that I was realizing how much I wanted him to be more.

Prepared to apologize, I moved from the living room to the doorway of the bedroom, where Jax had disappeared. I’d assumed he was getting ready for bed, and that I would be crashing on the couch. Instead I found him changing the sheets... for me, I realized.

“Jax, I’m not taking your bed.” I sighed when he ignored me and moved closer. “
Jax
.”

“If you don’t want me sleeping on the couch, then we can both sleep in here. But you’re not sleeping in the living room. No way.” Tucking a sheet onto a mattress shouldn’t have been a sexy thing to watch, but when Jax did it I felt my traitorous hormones again begin to fizz into my veins.

“Both of us?” The words came out as a squeak. Sleep all night within touching distance of Jax... and not be able to touch him?

That did not sound like a good time.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” I perched on the edge of the bed as I spoke, and I didn’t try to hide what I was feeling. “Jax, you know that.”

I watched as his entire body tensed. He was silent as he finished making the bed around me, the fingers smoothing down the comforter edging around my seated hips but never actually touching.

He seemed to be debating with himself over something, so I stayed silent.

“Why won’t you go home alone?” He finally asked. I knew that he was really asking me to share what had happened to me to make me so scared.

For the first time in years it was on the tip of my tongue. It would be such a relief to share the burden.

I couldn’t. No one had believed me, and so the words were frozen inside.

“Why won’t you leave Fish Lake?” I countered. Sliding over on the mattress, I seated myself cross-legged at the edge of the bed. Jax stood in front of me, leaning over to brace his hands on the mattress and look me directly in the eyes.

“I know something bad happened,” I continued after a long, tension filled moment. I could see on his face the same emotions that I was feeling—he wanted to tell me, I was sure of it, but the words were frozen somewhere down deep inside.

Remembering how the feel of Nick’s hand in my own the day before had grounded me, had made me feel like the world was a little bit less of a horrible place, I slowly reached for one of Jax’s hands.

I heard his sharp intake of breath as I traced a fingertip over the lines of his scars.

He moaned, that large body quivering under the gentle touch. The room seemed to shrink, and it became harder to draw a breath.

Slowly, my pulse racing and my heart in my throat, I pressed a kiss into the palm of his hand.

A strangled sound issued from the back of his throat. Before I could even blink he’d fisted his hands in the hem of his T-shirt and pulled it up and of his head. My mouth went dry at the sight of his ridiculously perfect torso, naked to my eyes, and then he’d wrapped me in his arms and pulled me close.

I strained to get closer, arching my back so that I could reach his lips, waiting for a kiss... hungering for it.

It never came. Instead Jax laid me gently on one side of the bed, then stood. My heart began to beat double time when he undid the button at the top of his jeans, then unzipped the fly. My mouth fell open as he slid his jeans down his hips and let them fall to the floor.

He stood before me naked but for a pair of dark blue boxer briefs, and his body was just... insane. There was no other word for it.

But what were we doing? Were we really moving that fast? He hadn’t even kissed me.

When he crawled into bed beside me my body literally began to ache, I was so badly craving his touch. The craving wasn’t entirely rooted in arousal either, though there was certainly plenty of that.

I wanted to wrap myself in his arms and never let go.

The eager touches that I expected never came. Instead Jax rolled me onto my side, facing away from him. He laid down behind me, draped an arm over my waist. Emotion shuddered through me as I registered the warmth of his skin against my own.

I snuggled backward, wanting to increase the planes along which we were touching. Sucking in a breath when my backside brushed against Jax’s very obvious erection, I again waited for his hands to touch me in the expected places.

“Go to sleep, Kayla.” I felt him nuzzle into the loose waterfall of my hair, and shuddered, overcome.

I wanted to have sex with Jax, absolutely. But I needed this more.

Lulled by the warmth of another body next to mine, I soon began to drift off towards sleep. Just before I lost consciousness, Jax spoke.

“You never told me what you thought about the picture.”

I knew he was referring to the one he’d sent me in the text message, the one that had started the argument with Nick.

The one that was so incredibly erotic, the one that showed me so much of Jax.

I murmured sleepily and didn’t answer. If Jax actually wanted us to get some sleep tonight, and it seemed like he did, then it was probably best that I keep my thoughts on that picture to myself.

T
he next morning I woke up alone. I didn’t have even a moment to feel abandoned, though, because almost as soon as I sat up in the bed, Jax appeared.

“Morning.” I murmured as I accepted the scalding cup of coffee that he handed me. I was feeling shy, even slightly embarrassed, even though we hadn’t done anything. In fact, I’d had the best night’s sleep I could remember.

My skin flushed bright pink when I realized that sometime during the night I’d kicked off my sleep shorts. The duvet was twined around my legs, revealing that I now wore nothing but a camisole and panties.

Jax leaned a hip against the doorway and made no pretense about looking me up and down. I was grateful that he didn’t comment, instead tossing another pair of my jeans and a hoodie onto the bed, along with clean panties and a new bra.

“Wakey wakey eggs and bacey, kiddo.” His eyes made one more leisurely perusal of my legs before landing on my face. “Time to get dressed. We have to fill up the truck.”

Wild hope began to beat inside my heart.

“Where are we going?” I asked slowly, carefully. The ceramic coffee mug was burning my fingers, and I pried my tight grip off of the cup and set it down on the small bedside table.

Jax crossed his arms over his chest, the movement defensive, but he looked me square in the face as he did. He looked tense, but he also looked resigned.

“We’re going wherever you need me to go.”

I couldn’t have been more surprised if he’d told me that he moonlighted as one of Justin Bieber’s backup dancers. The thought crossed my mind that I should retract what I’d asked him to do for me; if I was a better person I would have.

Instead I flew at him, understanding fully what a sacrifice he was making for me. No longer caring that I was almost naked, I wrapped my arms around him, needing to hug him, to express some of the emotion that his words had caused to riot around inside of me.

But I felt his body respond to the touch, and without thinking, I pressed myself into his erection. He moaned, then caught his hands under my elbows and drew me up to my toes.

He dipped his head and finally, finally I got the kiss I’d been craving since I’d arrived the day before.

While last summer’s kiss had been tentative, exploratory, this press of lips was wild and full of need. His tongue stroked boldly over the seam of my mouth, demanding that I open for him, and I did, as hungry for him as he seemed to be for me.