‘We do want the Red and the White dealt with, yes,’ Luke said. His voice was still flat but did I see his eye tic?
‘But not
really
dealt with, right?’ I forged on like a hound on the scent. I knew I had something there. ‘You don’t want me to actually destroy the Red and the White, do you?’
‘That’s ridiculous,’ said Griffin, looking very flustered for an Alfar. ‘Of course we want them destroyed.’
But it all suddenly made sense.
‘No, you want them out of the way, not destroyed. Because if I do succeed in actually killing the Red and the White, that’ll make you look awful, won’t it? A halfling doing what none of the Alfar could do throughout the centuries. What would people think? You want the threat removed, yes. But you don’t want me to remove it too much, so that people think a halfling like me could be more powerful than an Alfar.’
With those last words, I took two long strides forward, pushing Luke with my power as I did so. He moved begrudgingly, forced to bend before the enormous pressure of my enforced shields. My mind kept spinning as more implications unraveled before me.
‘And maybe that’s not all. Maybe you don’t want them gone for other reasons. Maybe you
want
the threat of the Red and the White looming over everyone so people think they need the Alfar, just in case the Red and the White reappear. But if they were gone for good,
and
killed by a halfling no less, then you lose a great big reason to keep you Alfar around. Your subjects might realize they don’t need you. Because you’re by no means the fiercest tiger in this jungle now, are you?’
And with that, I pulled the ax. It was kind of a cheap shot, but I was really starting to loathe Luke. I had also seen the goblin bodyguards exchanging glances, as were the other supes the Alfar powers had brought with them in their entourage. If they could hear me, they could repeat what I said.
If I’d learned one thing from watching
Downton Abbey
, it was that the servants always gossiped.
So I went ahead and let the labrys’s power lap over me, shoving at Griffin and Luke like an eager puppy that didn’t know how big it was. The message was clear: Even when I wasn’t trying to be aggressive, I could kick their ass.
Luke and Griffin exchanged an inscrutable look, and I cackled mentally.
‘That’s ridiculous,’ the Alfar second said eventually as Luke retreated back into himself. ‘Of course we want you to dispatch the Red and the White. They are our enemies, and they must be stopped.’
Like any good politician, Griffin could flip-flop on an issue faster than a greyhound could break into a run.
‘So does Jane have Alfar support, along with human?’ Daniel asked, his voice cheerful. He had clearly enjoyed the show.
‘Jane is and has always been our champion,’ Griffin said, casting Daniel a withering look. ‘Of course she has our support.’
‘Then let’s shake on it,’ Daniel said, a completely unnecessary touch I think he threw in just to annoy the Alfar. But I wasn’t much happier at having to grasp Luke’s clammy paw, and Griffin looked like he’d rather bite off Daniel’s.
‘Well, then, that’s settled. My lads have the bones, Jane. Shall we get you back to base?’
I nodded at Daniel, fluttering my fingers at the Alfar. ‘I’ll call if I need anything.’
Griffin looked ready to explode as we walked away. He knew a brush-off when he saw one.
Once we were safely ensconced in one of Daniel’s military SUVs, I let the giggle I’d been holding back bubble up through my lips. Turning to Ryu, I hoped he’d join me in a laugh.
But my former lover was staring out the window, deep in thought, and when he turned his face toward my laughter, he looked at me as if seeing a stranger.
My laughter died, and we drove in silence back to the airbase.
When I fell asleep that night in one of the guest accommodations at the airbase, I prayed fervently that I might have another Anyan dream. At some point during the day, after recovering from the shock of the first dream, I’d changed my tune about seeing Anyan when I was sleeping. Even if I couldn’t remember them exactly, I’d decided that a dream was better than nothing. That said, I never expected my prayers to be answered, as though Morpheus were some radio DJ taking requests.
But upon closing my eyes in the dark, sterile environment of my borrowed room, I promptly opened them to find myself in the snug confines of the hut’s little sleeping nook. I was also naked, and not alone.
‘Oh, puppy,’ I cooed as the barghest stroked a calloused palm over my flank. The fur beneath me was soft and warm, tickling against the backs of my knees. The barghest was even warmer, although not so soft.
Stormy gray eyes met mine as his mouth descended for a kiss.
‘We don’t have much time,’ he said in my ear, his voice low, as if afraid someone was listening. ‘He’ll find us quickly enough, and he’ll spy, even if he can’t touch us here.’
‘He?’ I thought, confused. Why would someone want to listen to Anyan and me in bed? But all thoughts disappeared in a puff of pleasure as the fingers stroking down my sides moved inward, to the V in my legs. I groaned, a throaty growl of ecstasy, as Anyan’s thick fingers dipped into my sex.
‘So wet for me.’ The barghest’s voice was rough in my ear, and I pushed my hips up into his hand in response.
His fingers found their rhythm, driving my pleasure forward. I cried out, so close to the brink after only minutes of his hands on me. He knew what drove me wild, what I needed. Speaking of which…
‘Do that thing,’ I moaned. ‘That thing with your power…’
The first time we’d had sex, he’d used his power like extra hands, touching me all over. It had been incredible, like nothing I’d ever experienced.
Anyan chuckled, pinching my clit gently for my impertinence. An act that did nothing to decrease my arousal, believe me.
‘Greedy girl,’ he said. ‘And I’d give anything to fuck you like that again. But my powers are no longer mine.’
Why not?
I wondered, but not for long. Anyan added a thumb and a pinkie to his routine, and pretty soon I was gasping for air and seeing stars.
‘You’ll just have to make do with plain old me,’ he said, nipping and sucking on my neck as I shattered around his fingers, crying out in unabashed pleasure until he wrapped his free hand behind my neck to clamp a hand over my mouth.
I kept singing his praises, even if they were muffled, as he kept my orgasm going until it became almost painful.
Only then did I push his hand away, curling in toward him in a boneless heap only to feel his hardness against my belly. When I could move again, I reached down a hand to stroke him. I looked up into those iron eyes, so full of sadness and affection that my heart broke. I knew that I was just as sad, and just as in love, and that there were so many things I should be saying to him, even if I didn’t know what they were.
But Anyan always knew what to say, even if he didn’t speak too often.
‘Ride me, Jane,’ he told me, shifting so that he was on his back. His hands wrapped around my hips and pulled me up and over him, until I straddled his hips. ‘Ride me, and remind me who I am.’
With tears in my eyes, I did just that. Taking him deep in my body, so deep I gasped, I set a gentle rhythm that didn’t last long. Soon enough he was bucking up toward me, setting a driving pace. Our bodies slapped against each other in the warm silence of the hut, and it was like a Beethoven symphony to my ears.
The tears fell, unbidden, as I rained kisses on his also-wet cheeks. Finally, Anyan came, and I sucked the cries from his lips even as I exulted in giving him such pleasure.
I fell forward on his chest, letting him hold me as I watched the flames dance in the fire pit in the center of the hut.
‘And I am me again,’ he said eventually, stroking a hand over my hair, down my back. ‘At least for a little while.’
I listened to the beating of his heart under my ear and I knew I missed him very much. So I told him so.
‘I miss you, too, my love,’ he said. ‘But you mustn’t stay much longer. I don’t want him to have proof that we’re meeting this way.’
I moved so that I sat, cross-legged, next to Anyan, looking down at his strong, rough-hewn features. His dark curls were spread on the furs behind his head, making him look strangely vulnerable.
‘Why can’t I remember anything besides now?’ I asked him, finally able to articulate what had been bothering me. ‘It feels like a veil’s been drawn across my memories.’
‘It’s the nature of dreams,’ the barghest said sadly, running the tips of his fingers up and down my thigh.
‘This is a dream, then?’ I asked.
‘Yes. I’m sorry to say so, but yes.’
I shook my head. ‘It feels so real. I can’t be dreaming. This is our home…’
‘This is not our home, Jane. This was a home of mine once. Now it’s my prison. But I built it to be comfortable, hoping you’d find me. And you have.’
‘Important things are happening,’ I realized then. ‘Things I can’t remember. Why can’t I remember?’ My voice had increased in volume, sounding slightly shrill even to my own ears. I realized my heart was beating rapidly. Was I panicking?
Anyan had also sat up, peering around the hut that no longer felt quite so much like home, or quite so safe.
‘He’s close,’ Anyan said. ‘And you’re getting better at remembering. You just have to convince yourself it’s not a dream. Then we can talk. But now you must go.’
With that, Anyan kissed, a lingering, delicious kiss. Capped off by a very hard pinch to my thigh.
My leg, charley horsing like crazy, woke me up. Swearing up a storm, I tried to stretch it out, my hands fisted in my sheets until the pain subsided and my muscle stopped twitching.
What the hell?
I thought.
Must have pulled something. Or I need potassium. Aren’t charley horses caused by a lack of potassium?
I got out of bed, feeling oddly boneless, to go to the little bathroom attached to my room. I got a drink of water and splashed some on my face, then used the toilet.
Washing my hands, I studied myself in the mirror. I knew I’d had a dream, and I remember it being supersexy and about Anyan. It had obviously really turned me on, and except for the charley horse, I felt the same dreamy, subdued way I felt after sex.
Must have been some dream
, I thought as I made my way back to bed. Curling up under the blankets, I shut my eyes. But I couldn’t drop the idea that the dream was important.
I rolled over onto my back to frown up at the ceiling. What could have been both important and leave me feeling all sated? It’s not like I needed to remember my sexy dreams, although I wished I could. But it couldn’t have been important, right?
Wrong
, my brain said. It just wouldn’t let it go.
This is stupid
, I thought.
I’m dreaming about Anyan because I miss him, nothing more.
So why did the dream feel so important? And why did I feel like I needed to remember it so badly?
Slowly, the dream started coming back to me. We’d had sex, and it had been amazing dream sex, yes. But not as amazing as it had been in real life, if I were honest.
Which says a lot about Anyan as a lover
, I thought. For how many men could actually claim to be better than the fantasy?
But it wasn’t his fault
, I remembered a second later.
He said he can’t use all his powers where he is. Someone else has taken them.
This time I froze for real as a chill raced up my spine that left me shivering.
Are these not really dreams?
I wondered. They were so real, after all, and so weird. When did a dream man tell you he couldn’t do what he could in real life? And why was my dream Anyan so sad?
I mean, if I were just making this shit up, surely my mind would make everything lovely and hunky-dory, right? We’d be boning in a field of Oreos or something, cut through by a river of cold milk. The Oreos could dunk themselves first in the river, then feed themselves to me as I came. Now
that’s
a fantasy. My dreams with Anyan didn’t feel like that. They felt … real.
But maybe I wasn’t trying to escape the pain, but work through it. Maybe that’s why Anyan was so sad, and seemed so trapped…
More memories rushed in. Anyan’s worry about being overheard. His talking about how ‘he’ would hear us.
It’s
too
weird
, I thought.
I need to talk about this to someone…
So I did what I should have done the first time I’d dreamed of Anyan. I picked up my little Bat Phone to the creature and waited for it to respond.
[Jane?] the creature asked, itself a little dreamy. While I was resting, I knew it spent its time scanning the world through the eyes of susceptible humans.
I need your help
, I thought at it.
I’ve been having dreams about Anyan. But I’m not sure they’re really dreams.
The creature’s presence sort of buzzed in my mind, as if it were thinking. [Do you think he’s communicating with you?]
I shrugged my shoulders, an unnecessary gesture as the creature could feel my confusion.
I have no idea. They feel like dreams, to be honest. But they’re so strange. And there’s you.
[Me?]
Well, you’re the only other person I know who has a body that is trapped, you know, but your mind is free … maybe Anyan can do what you do, and sort of surf.
[I doubt it, Jane. Anyan isn’t like me, and his powers can’t be like mine. But who knows what happened to him when the White took over his body?]
Can you do something to check? To find out if the dreams are real?
Again, the creature presence buzzed in thought. [I think I might have a way, but it will involve you giving me free access to your mind. Is that all right?]
I nodded immediately. If Anyan really was able to communicate with me, even imperfectly in dreams, that fact could be a total game changer.
The creature, feeling my acquiescence, took over. Suddenly, I was pushed firmly, if gently, to one corner of my own brain. It felt incredibly strange. I tried to move my arms and legs, but I knew I remained lying perfectly still. I could still feel, sort of, but not control.