Tell Me Lies (35 page)

“What do you want?” Helena said, and Maddie said, “I want you to stop talking about me and upsetting my mother.”

Helena glared at her through the screen door. “I told the truth.”

“You told part of the truth,” Maddie said. “You didn’t mention all the times Brent cheated on me, and you didn’t mention that he hit me, and you flat out lied when you told people I killed him. My mother hasn’t mentioned any of that, either, but she will if you don’t stop, and then my child will have to deal with all the talk about what lowlifes her parents are because her grandmothers are too damn dumb to shut the fuck up.”

Maddie hadn’t meant to end the sentence that way, but she did, and it felt good. It felt like the way the new Maddie would talk, the person she’d been trying to be before she’d gotten blindsided by Brent’s death. She’d had a plan. She should have stuck to it.

Helena came out and let the screen door bang behind her, and Maddie almost stepped back but didn’t. She wasn’t ever going to step back again.

“Come here,” Helena said, and Maddie followed her down the walk to the garage.

Helena unlocked the door and turned on the light, and Maddie said, “Oh, no.”

The garage was full of posters and placards and bumper stickers, and all of them said “Brent Faraday for Mayor.” Maddie felt sick, for Brent, and for his parents, too, for how much they didn’t know their son.

“He didn’t want this,” Maddie said. “I know you meant it for the best, but—”

“He wanted it,” Helena said. “It was you who didn’t. You were the one who said you didn’t want to be a mayor’s wife. I heard you at our Christmas party.”

“I didn’t care,” Maddie told her, still overwhelmed by seeing Brent’s name plastered everywhere. “Big deal, mayor’s wife. I just knew he hated it, and I was trying to take the pressure off. He really didn’t want this.”

“He would have made a great mayor,” Helena said, in the same tone most people would have used for “He would have made a great president.”

“Helena—”

“And you wouldn’t help him,” Helena said. “If he went to other women, it was your fault. You weren’t there for him.”

“Oh, hell,” Maddie said. “I was there for him. I’ve been there for everybody. He didn’t want to be mayor.”

“He wanted to be mayor. He’d filled out the forms, he’d done all the work. All we needed was the financial disclosure statement, and we’d have his name on the ballot. It was your fault, and now he’s dead, and you’re running around—”

“I have been pure as the driven snow for two weeks.”

“—and I want the town to know what you did.” Helena rolled the last words with vicious satisfaction.

“Well, good for you,” Maddie said, her own anger flaring at her mother-in-law’s venal stupidity. “But you know my mom, and she wants the town to know some things, too, and I’m not going to let Em get caught in the middle. He was leaving town, Helena. He’d sold his share of the company. He had tickets to Rio. He was leaving and taking Em because he’d been stealing money and you were pushing him to be mayor. Do you really want that to get out? Do you really think it won’t if you keep stirring up talk?”

“It shouldn’t be about him.” Helena quivered with rage. “It could be about you. People think you’re so good. They should know.”

“They will,” Maddie said. “They’ve got a whole new me coming. But I’m not going to put up with this stuff. Stop slandering me and annoying my mother before she tells the whole world about Brent.”

“Nobody will believe her,” Helena said, but she sounded a little unsure for the first time in the conversation.

“Just stop,” Maddie said. “Just stop it before Em finds out what Brent was.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Helena said, but she turned off the light and left without pushing any further, and Maddie was satisfied.

Poor Brent,
she thought as she got in the car. Helena for a mother and Norman for a father. He’d have ended up mayor after all. No wonder South America had looked so good.

Especially with a financial disclosure form in the offing. If there was one thing Brent wasn’t interested in disclosing, it was his finances, although he must have hidden most of the money he’d skimmed somewhere other than their accounts and his golf bag. She had no idea where, and she wondered how he had known. He really couldn’t have been doing it on his own. He had to have had a partner.

Maybe the man who’d made the kidnapping call. Somebody was going to pay for that.

But first she had the last of her unfinished business.

“Em went out to the farm to see C.L.,” Maddie said. “She wanted to know the truth about things, and she thought he was the only one who would tell her.”

Maddie’s mother sighed and slumped a little. “Well, my word, Maddie—”

“Sit down,” Maddie said. “We have to talk.”

“You wouldn’t believe what a day I’ve had,” her mother said, moving toward her pink flowered couch. “That Helena—”

“Good point,” Maddie said. “I’ve just come from there. The two of you are going to have to stop doing this Godzilla meets the Thing bit or you’re going to ruin Em’s parents’ reputations. Knock it off.”

“She started it,” her mother said.

“Well, I finished it,” Maddie said. “Find something else to talk about, please.”

Her mother took her literally. “Gloria took Barry back, can you believe it?”

“Yes,” Maddie said. “I can now believe anything of anybody.”

“Really? Well, listen to this one.” Her mother leaned forward. “Can-dace from the bank is dating Bailey, that guard out at Brent and Howie’s company.”

Maddie was momentarily distracted. “That is weird.”

“Well, she’s a Lowery.”

“Right,” Maddie said. “Blood tells. Which is why I’m turning into Gran before my own eyes.”

“What are you talking about?” her mother asked.

“Em ran away because nobody was telling her the truth.” Maddie sat down in the rocking chair across from her mother. “So I’ve spent the evening being Gran, telling the truth even when nobody wants to listen. It’s been pretty interesting so far. I may start spitting walnuts.”

“Maddie, what are you talking about?”

Maddie took a deep breath. “We’re all so busy protecting each other that we lie right and left. We have to stop doing that or we’re never going to be free of the lies. We
all have
to stop doing that.”

“Are you referring to me?” Her mother sat stiffly, not amused by the tack the conversation was taking.

“Yes. But you’re just one among many.”

“Really, Maddie—”

“Em went to C.L. because she couldn’t trust us. I don’t want that to happen again.”

Her mother looked perturbed. “I fail to understand what C. L. Sturgis has to do with any of this. I thought he was out of your life.”

“I did, too,” Maddie said. “I was wrong. We were lovers and we’re going to be again. And I’m not feeling like sneaking around anymore, so you’ll probably know when we resume.”

“Well, really, Maddie—”

“It’s sort of like you and Mr. Scott,” Maddie finished.

Her mother seemed silenced for a minute, but then she got her seer id wind. “I have no idea—”

“Forget it. I told you, I’m not doing lies anymore. I talked to Gran, and she told me everything.”

Maddie’s mother’s face turned grim. “Your grandmother is senile. Pay no atten—”

“Oh, no she’s not.” Maddie frowned at her mother. “She’s a pain in the ass, but she’s all there. She told me you gave up your love affair to protect me.”

The expression on her mother’s face boded ill for her grandmother. “Maddie, I don’t see—”

“And I did the same thing for Em.” Maddie rocked a little in the chair and felt comforted. She’d rocked Em there as a newborn, so tiny she seemed weightless, and then later as a toddler, reading
Are You My Mother?
reassuring Em on every page everything would be fine. So much for art reflecting life. “I thought as long as I kept all the worry out of her life, she’d be safe. I did what you did. But she wasn’t, and C.L. was the one she trusted.”

“Maddie, your husband has only been dead two w—”

“I liked Mr. Scott,” Maddie said. “I liked it when he came over. He listened to me. I liked him a lot.”

Her mother met her eyes for the first time in several minutes. “I did, too,” she said finally. “But I just couldn’t do it. It would have been so confusing for you. And if we’d kept on seeing each other, well, you know this town.”

Maddie wanted to cry,
Mother, you are this town,
but it didn’t matter. “I can’t do the same thing,” she told her mother. “I could wait for a little while if that made it better, I suppose, but I don’t want to. I haven’t loved Brent for so long, I haven’t had that for so long, and now it’s right here in front of me.” She leaned forward. “I feel wonderful again, Mama. When I’m with him, everything’s better. I know it might not last, but it almost doesn’t matter because it’s so good to be with him right now. Not for the future, not so I’ll have a respectable relationship to show people, but for right now, for me. I’ve made love with C.L., and I’ve laughed with him, and I’ve watched him with my daughter, and I’m going back to him tonight and tell him everything because I trust him more than anyone else in the world, and I’m pretty sure that means I love him.”

“Think of Emily,” her mother said, and Maddie leaned back, defeated.

“I’m not like you, Mom,” she said. “I’m selfish. I want it all. I can’t give it all up to keep Em in cotton wool. I love her, and I will keep her safe, but I’m not going to live a lie, and I’m not going to walk away from happiness when it’s right there in front of me just because it’s the town’s idea of the right thing to do.”

“You sacrifice for your child,” her mother said flatly. “That’s what a mother does. You put your child first.”

“I know.” Maddie stood up, seeing no point in arguing with a betrayed brick wall. “I have been putting her first. But I’m putting myself a damn close second, and that means C.L. now, not next year. Em likes him, and he helps her. She’s not as sad when she’s with him. I’m going back to him. I never should have left.”

Her mother leaned forward, tense with sincerity. “Will you please remember how people talk? Brent’s been gone less than two weeks. What will the neighbors think?”

“If Em’s happy and I’m happy, I don’t care about the neighbors.”

Maddie began to turn away and then stopped, hopeful, ready to give it one more try. “In fact, it’s more than I don’t care. I’m glad. You have no idea how tired I am of being Maddie the good girl. Now I’m going to be a screwup. And I’m going to enjoy the hell out of it. And I wish you’d call Mr. Scott and join me.”

“Maddie, I am sixty-three years old, too old to act like a fool.” Her mother set her jaw for a moment and went on. “I gave up a lot to keep you safe,” she said, measuring the words out carefully. “I raised you on my own, and I put you first always. And you’re going to throw it all away because this Sturgis man—”

“See,” Maddie said, “this is another reason I’m not going to mortgage my life to Em, so I can’t blackmail her with speeches later on.”

“Maddie.”

“I love you, Mom.” Maddie bent and kissed her mother’s cheek. “You’d give me the world, I know you would, but you want my body and soul in exchange. And you can’t have them. I’m an ungrateful child, and I know it, and I sure as hell hope Em is, too, someday.” She turned and headed for the door. “Don’t worry, I’m fine and Em’s doing better. I’ll call you on Sunday after I’ve seen Gran.”

“That
woman,”
Maddie’s mother said.

“I like her,” Maddie said. “She’s selfish as hell. Good role model.”

She had some ideas about the first one, but she knew exactly how to do the second one, so she started with that.

“You know, if you’d fish from different sides of the dock, that wouldn’t happen,” Maddie said as she started toward him.

“Phoebe helped.” C.L. scooted over to make room for her on the steps.

She sat down closer to him than she needed to. “Give me one of the poles. I’ll help untangle.”

“You know, there’s a metaphor here.” C.L. leaned a little toward her so their shoulders touched.

“I know, you want to help untangle my mess.” Maddie picked up the bobber. “Wouldn’t it be easier to unhook these?”

“I was using them as markers.” C.L. took the pole away from her and dropped them both on the grass beside the steps. “It’s hopeless. Let’s work on something we have a chance of solving.”

“All right.” Maddie leaned over and kissed him. It was wonderful to taste him again, to have his shoulder to lean on and his mouth hot on hers, and his arm around her, which it was almost immediately, and when she came up for air, she said, “Oh, God, that’s good.” She put her forehead against his and said, “Remind me not to leave you again. I’m still not getting married, but I want all the other good stuff.”

“You’re kidding.” C.L. looked poleaxed. “No, forget I said that.” He kissed her, pulling her close, and she felt his tongue tease her lips and opened for him, sinking against his broad chest while he invaded her mouth. “You’re not kidding,” he said, a little breathlessly. “Your mother’s going to have me killed.”

“I already told her,” Maddie said. “It’s all my fault. I told her I was going to come out here and jump you, so you’re the victim here. Kiss me again.”

“We’ve got to get off this porch.” C.L. yanked her to her feet.

“Nope.” Maddie moved into his arms, loving the way her arms felt around him. “I’m through hiding. I know I’m a widow, but the whole world and his wife knows about Brent, so why should I pretend? Kiss me here.”

“Yes, but there’s
Em,”
he said, and pulled her into the shadows beside the porch. Then he did kiss her, putting his whole body into it now that they were standing in the dark, sliding his hands down her back and pulling her hips to his, and she let herself ease into him and his solid warmth, kissing him just to be kissing him instead of for rebellion or vengeance or independence. “I’m crazy about you,” she told him breathlessly, and he said, “Yeah, but what about tomorrow when you’re sane again?”

“I’m sane now.” She kissed him again and felt her breath come hard, and it took all her concentration to remember when the kiss was done that she had to tell him something before she dragged him to the ground.

She stepped back and felt a little lost until she mentally kicked herself. She was fine. She did not need anyone to lean on. From now on she leaned for love, not need. “We have to talk.”

“No.” C.L. reached for her. “Let’s go back to the insane part before you change your mind.”

“I’m not changing my mind. But I have a few things I have to tell you.”

“This is going to be bad, isn’t it?” C.L. said.

She led him back to the porch steps, and he sat next to her and put his hand on the nape of her neck and rubbed the muscles there. His hand was warm and heavy, and it felt wonderful, not just to have her neck rubbed but also to have him there beside her again. “Okay, shoot,” he said.

Maddie sighed. “Well, since you mentioned it, there’s the gun.”

C.L.‘s hand stopped. “Do you know where it is?”

Maddie nodded, as much to feel his hand move against her neck as anything else.

“Would you like to tell me?” C.L. said, sounding faintly exasperated.

“Treva’s freezer.”

C.L. jerked his hand away. “
Treva
?”

Maddie lifted her head. “She doesn’t know. It’s in Mrs. Harmon’s Spam-and-whole-wheat-noodle casserole.”

C.L. looked as if somebody had just smacked him upside the head with a ball bat. “Jesus Christ.”

Maddie nodded. “I know. She wants to be New Age, but she doesn’t quite get it that Spam is not health food.”

“Not Mrs. Harmon,” C.L. said. “Although that is disgusting. I’m talking about the gun in Treva’s freezer.”

“I put it in a plastic bag before I stuck it down in the noodles,” Maddie went on, “so I’m sure it’s still okay. Freezing doesn’t hurt guns, does it?”

“For a minute there I thought you meant Treva had done it,” C.L. said. “I know she didn’t have motive, but still it was—”

“She had a motive,” Maddie said, feeling a little giddy as all the truth came flooding out. “Brent was blackmailing her.”

C.L. sat still for a minute and then he said, “Why?” as if they were having a completely normal conversation.

“I can’t tell you,” Maddie said, “but she didn’t do it.”

C.L. nodded, processing this new piece of information. “You know, when you start telling the truth, you really let it rip.”

“Well, that’s the problem,” Maddie said, exasperated. “This stuff is not small. It’s all very well and good to go around preaching the truth, but people have built their lives on some of these lies, and for good reason. You don’t just go blowing up people’s lives so you can brag about being honest. You can’t just tell people everything and think that’s the end of it. You have to pick up the pieces. You wouldn’t believe how much damage I did tonight.”

“Right,” C.L. said. “I think. But I still think we’re better off sticking with the truth. Anything else you want to tell me?”

“Yeah,” Maddie said. “There’s almost a quarter of a million dollars in your wheel well.”

“
What
?”C.L. said.

“Two hundred and thirty thousand,” Maddie said. “Somebody planted it in the Civic and the gun in the glove compartment and hoped I’d get caught with it.”

“I suppose you had to put the money in
my
wheel well.”

“It was handy,” Maddie said. “You want to tell Henry about this or should I do it alone?”

“Let’s do it together.” C.L. stood up and took her hand to haul her up the steps beside him. “But first let’s go look in my wheel well.”

“Get a big bag,” Maddie said. “There are a lot of hundred-dollar bills in there. God, I am so relieved to get this off my chest.”

“Yeah,” C.L. said. “I can see why, now that it’s on mine.”